My parents wonders why I talk 'less' these days 😐

This I agree is wrong but I do think that once the kid has a full time job or gets last a certain age (18 maybe?) They should owe their parents money for rent etc if they continue to live in the house

That's my father. Screaming, insults, misogyny, humiliating me in front of others, accusing me of things that later proved to be not my fault. He never apologized and probably never will. I'm an adult now and he's 70 y. o. I haven't spoken or seen him since 2019.

"But I sacrificed so much for them and they are so ungrateful!"

A parent drove me to tears that way. I did try to distract her kid, but eventually she sent me back to my seat.

This! Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do when this happens!

Unless this happens when the child is obviously using crying and tears for the SOLE purpose of manipulation. There's nothing wrong with teaching your child that crying and tears are valid and important things; therefore, they shouldn't be misused or abused.

I can honestly say neither my dad or mom did this when I was younger...when I hit 14 though, I had already figured out that dad was a POS for cheating on my mom. He never wanted anything to do with me after I turned 14 until he was on his deathbed in 2017 then he had his family try to get me to go see him so he could die with a clear conscience. Nope.

Telling them the truth about why the marriage ended: yes, when they're old enough to comprehend. Cutting down your ex in front of the kids, using them as a Western Union and a p**n or weapon: inexcusable.

Fighting the wars between them through the child: "You learned all the bad stuff from your idiot mother!" "You're lazy and good of nothing, just like your father!"

OR using the child as the mediator and communication person. I luckily never experienced this as my divorced parents co-parented very well, but I know lots of friends who have.

Or badmouthing your kid's other parent while you are together cause you are fighting. I Make sure never to do that

Yes, but... I wish as a grew older my parents could have spoken out honestly about their divorce. just each tell their side & let us kids consider it along with what we remembered.

My mother. Took many adult years a near death to finally sort put that. My father saw her lies first hand at a reunion lunch and had the answer to his earlier question of why I don't speak to her or her other daughter.

I had a lot of respect for my mother for this. She was never petty or vindictive. She failed three marriages but her fourth lasted 35+ years until they died. Some of it was probably her and for two of the men I KNOW some of it was them. But she did not bad mouth when I was young and even when I was older the few negative things I learned were presented fairly and without malice. She is the one who taught me "more to be pitied than censured". I realize the Gray poem was talking about a 'fallen woman' but in this case it applied to an a-hole step dad. As in - we can walk away but he is stuck with himself 24/7.

Only acceptable when playing Monopoly.

or the opposite. refusing to believe that their kid can do anything correct or have any accomplishments. both are bad

Just as long as that kids can get them that sweet, sweet Child Tax Credit each and every tax season until they turn 18.

...especially when the genes show up all too clearly in/on their faces and they subconsciously argue with their ex-partners (it never worked anyway, hence the divorce) instead of having a sensible discussion with their children...

My mother again. I got yelled at and even slapped for things like dropping a spoon on the floor or spilling a few drops of milk. I hated her and quickly learned to walk on eggshells.

Also, men that put a women before their kids...

BicMac through a tube?

A mother divorced the father because he constantly berated their children. She then married a lovely family friend. He said of his stepson, "He has problems with math. He gets the answers right, but the teachers want to see the process. I'm an engineer - we don't care how someone gets the answer as long as it's the right one." I was impressed and learned something from that: sometimes the second spouse is a much match for the kids because the parent got to see how they treat the kids.

Somewhere down the line, those kids are going to pay dearly for their parents' refusal to get the help they need. If Fate is willing, the situation will be reversed.

My mother. I was 16 and had a crush on a guy in the neighborhood. Soon after she found out, I became the laughing stock of the extended family, because "the boy was flirting with her and she was enjoying it, like a dirty b***h". I was 16, for f**k's sake.

I agree partly. As long as it's not directly related to that. The actions of the child should have natural and logical consequences though. The child repeatedly wastes food just so their siblings don't get it? Regulate how much food they take, forcing them to take smaller portions and eat them up before they can have more is the reasonable consequence. The child slams the door all night, using it to terrorise the whole household if they don't get their way? Take the door away and exchange it with a privacy curtain is legit. Actions have consequences. And if a child uses freedoms to terrorize everyone else, taking the thing away that's used to do the terrorising is legit. It should be given back if the child shows betterment though. Yes, and sometimes less attention, especially for throwing tantrums or other, regular misbehaviour can be a legitimate discipline tactic. I can't see any legit case of cutting hair for punishment thought.

Eh, I know I'm not a bad parent and I've never thought of myself as one. I am a very good parent who will make mistakes.

Berating and humiliation never works.

this is not a "show, don't say", this is show and tell!

I also had to do it once. I had no choice. I went to a costume party as a »japanese manga fetus« and I simply didn't want to have to be pushed back and forth to the booze and beverage buffet in my hand-felted neon incubator......🤭

What goes around, comes around.

There doesn't have to be beer to make this trashy. It can also be a matter of silent "I changed the LAST diaper" pettiness between the kid's parents/guardians. I've personally witnessed it and made a point of cbanging the nibblet diapers myself when I'm around. I do NOT take care of potty training/trained kids though. Your kid has poop in their crack, that's on YOU. Standing kids are way more complicated to help clean up, and I already got my own kid through that stage. All done!

This happens more than people realize. Thanks to this sucky parenting, teachers and staff have YET ANOTHER thing thrown on their plate: lookout for signs and talk of bullying. A threat of being fired and/or jail time if even the slightest talk of bullying isn't reported and, God forbid, it eventually leads to something horrible. (If you don't believe me, check out the bullying policy in Davidson, Sumner, and Robertson County in Tennessee.)

Inappropriate but I did chuckle a little at the mental image of this scene.

Priorities, ya know...

drug* it's 2023, why shy away from OPs own words..

The thing I HATE is water and fruit are cheaper and easier to give to the kid than soda and fruit snacks. The whole excuse of money and/or convenience isn't really valid.

I always dumped candy into my kid's bag.. at my house, before we left. Like priming the pump, gotta get them started.. 😆 But I think this post meant at other people's houses? I don't know..