Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here’re 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity
When you hear the word ‘toxic,’ odds are, your mind’s bound to add the word ‘masculinity’ on top. Most of us have heard about toxic masculinity and the issues it poses to men, women, and society as a whole in quite some depth. However, a topic that’s addressed far more rarely is toxic femininity.
The mirror image to toxic masculinity, toxic femininity deals with the perception that some women have about how other women 'should' behave and what makes a ‘real’ woman. Redditors have been going into detail about what exactly constitutes toxic femininity and how some women express it. Have a read through their responses to redditor VysX_’s viral thread and let us know which of these examples you agree and disagree with. Have you noticed any of these in real life? Share your thoughts with all the other Pandas in the comments.
Nancy Doyle, writing for Forbes, explains that she’s seen toxic femininity described in a variety of ways. Including backstabbing, failing to support other women in their success, and also as a potential “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Women who think other women that enjoy cooking, child rearing, and homemaking are perpetuating stereotyped gender roles enforced by the patriarchy.
Tearing other women down because what they enjoy doesn’t fit into the tiny box of what YOUR version of feminism should be is toxic femininity to the max.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
True feminism is giving everybody the choice to live the life they want, regardless of gender or stereotypes.
RELATED:
#2
Branding unattractive guys as “creeps” for the same behaviour that attractive guys get away with and even rewarded for.
#3
It’s when a woman assaults a man first and when the man retaliates, the woman acts like she’s the victim saying “you can’t hit a woman”. You hit him first Ma’am. You’re not absolve to any of your wrongdoings just because of your gender
According to Doyle from Forbes, in the workplace, toxic femininity is akin to passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” she explains.
“The answer to centuries of toxic masculinity is not a new era of toxic femininity, it is leadership and membership behaviors and skills that are, frankly, beyond gender and appropriately contextualized.”
#4
Thinking men can't be abused by a woman
#5
“Breast is best” “Women who have C-sections aren’t real mothers” “Real women have curves” “I’m not like other girls” Etc
Ian Reynolds 3 years ago
My wife had a c-section and our daughter and my wife couldn't take to breastfeeding, and people would make comments about how natural birth and breastfeeding makes real bonds. This hurt my wife, caused some early depression and made her worry about the bond with our daughter, but this really has had no impact on their relationship. My wife now gets angry because of the stupidity of the people saying this and the snobbiness of these fools.
#6
My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices.
Doyle notes that communication and honesty can help move past both toxic femininity and masculinity. “Instead of rescuing, ask people what they would like to have happen and give them the tools to do it themselves. Instead of being a victim, state clearly what you would like to have happen and police your own boundaries. And instead of persecuting, check your assumptions and instead notice the pattern or process that needs fixing, not the people.”
Meanwhile, here’s a refresher about toxic femininity’s partner in crime, toxic masculinity. Psychotherapist Silva Neves told me earlier that toxic masculinity is a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny, as well as a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.
Some of these ideas include not showing vulnerability, striving to always be winners, and not being weak or soft.
#7
Probably the whole “I’m not like other girls” thing. What’s wrong with other girls? You can value yourself without [stepping] on others.
#8
Toxic feminism to me is hating ALL men. Not all men are the same. Those kind of girls make it a point to spread that hate and make it a big movement. I understand everyone has had their experiences with men who have hurt them, but to spread such hate and make it their personality?? Not cool.
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” Silva told Bored Panda.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the expert continued.
According to Silva, healthy masculinity means that an individual “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
#10
Mother who treat other people [poorly] and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear
#11
When we s**t all over men and boys, while calling it "Modern Feminism". We don't have to deconstruct and destroy everything masculine just for women to be equal. That is literally the opposite of equality and should be offensive to everyone.
#12
Being pressured to have children. Women can be incredibly toxic when they find out that someone made a different choice regarding procreation. Personally I think mothers that hate on childless women regret their choice to have children and lash out at those they secretly envy for their (perceived) freedom.
#13
Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!
Carrie Laughs 3 years ago
So glad I have met few like this. Bitchiest person I know is my brother in law,
#14
Harassing/Calling police on fathers(or other legit male caregivers) minding their own business bringing their kids to a public park.
Premislaus de Colo 3 years ago
OMG I can soooo relate to that being a single dad to two daughters... I understand and appreciate social awareness and so on, but single mum with two sons will not meet with the problems I deal with. And honestly, people who think it's shady for a guy to live alone with two teen daughters are real pervs. I mean s**t, they're my kids, what's in your head? This is not solely a toxic feminity thoug, applies to men as well.
#15
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
Sorry - that's not how life works.
#16
Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I’d be if I lost weight, how that’s why most guys weren’t into me, how I’d regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn’t overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That’s really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I’ve only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers
Carrie Laughs 3 years ago
Funny, only people who have commented on my weight recently were men. Wrong whoever does it.
#17
A girl in the grade below me (I’m a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time & she asked, “Why do so many people care about her dying? It’s not like she was pretty anyways.”
This was the type of girl that says, “What??!! I am SOOO nice.”
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO’D that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can’t figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well honey, I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
That's just f****d up. Guess I shouldn't expect anyone to care when I die then coz I am far from pretty lol. Such a stupid thing to say.
#18
Putting other women down for liking girly things and not wanting to be CEOs etc.
Ages ago a woman I knew commented on an news article about women who love to wear mermaid tails and go swimming with it. She said women should aim to be CEOs and not mermaids.
I happened to have one of those tails and love mermaids. I’m 37 now and still do! Doesn’t mean I am stupid or aim low. I don’t want to be a CEO, it’s not who I am.
#19
The divorce playbook. First you kick your husband out of his own house. Then you go to a judge and claim that you are afraid of you spouse and get a PFA. Then you go to family court as the poor helpless woman and take every dime he has then s**t talk him to his own kids. Mine was more amicable than that but I have seen it happen to more than one guy.
Draperdorf 3 years ago
I've no doubt that this is something that some spiteful and resentful women do. However, I'm also aware that narcissistic abusers (of either gender) will also say this exact same thing when they are actually the one in the wrong, as that it basically their MO. Having been through a couple of victim survivor programmes for abused women myself, I've seen far too many wonderful, abuse-survivors being slated like this by their exes. Women who are like this post also make it worse for those who aren't but are being portrayed as being so by their abusers. Hope I make sense
#20
The kind of lady that believes a man needs to be a provider is toxic. Also women that look down on men that are shorter than them are toxic af.
Vasana Phong 3 years ago (edited)
Yep, I’m the breadwinner in my household due to my husband’s physical disability, woman that think like this brings us back a hundred years
#21
Being shamed for natural functions. I know men do it too (to an extent) but women are more likely, I feel, to judge body hair, wrinkles, grey hairs, etc.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Add burping, farting, even doing poops. Yes women poop, shocking, I know.
#22
As a woman, I have absolutely zero respect for women who use their femininity to get men to do their job for them. The "oh no! I don't know how to do this, can you do it for me" women I have seen at work are pathetic. Even more pathetic are the men who think stepping in and doing a simple task for a lazy female coworker will actually get them anywhere.
#23
I'm a lesbian and I've had plenty of straight women react to this with complete puzzlement. Have I ever TRIED having a boyfriend? Who fixes things around my apartment when they break? Who kills bugs? You know, there ARE good guys out there...
Valisbourne Spiritforge 3 years ago
This comment kills me and I'm not gay. The "Have you ever TRIED XXXX" bit. To me, that's the same as asking if I've ever tried dating a guy to know if I was gay or not.
#24
I’ve got a quote from an ex.
“My girlfriend Sandra got a 2 carat diamond ring if I don’t get at least a 4 carat ring I’m literally going to die.”
Andrew Gibb 3 years ago
This is what 4 carrots looks like to me and most men. 4-carrots-...04e6bc.jpg 
#25
Double standards in dating. I hear this a lot personally with my mother,
But if her boyfriend goes somewhere without telling her she freaks out and throws a tantrum (yes, literally). Yet if he asks anything about her then he's a douche trying to control her and cheating.
Funnily enough, my mother has been exposed for cheating twice now. Along with her f**k s**t friend.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Both my hubby and I let/ask each other if or where we are going out of respect, not control. All I ask is the latest he will be home, so if he isn't home by that time I should start to worry and vice versa. Also to make sure neither of us had already made other plans.
#26
The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture.
Debbie Barnes 3 years ago
I've experienced this too, but what they don't realize is that if they're talking about others with such spitefulness, what's to say they won't be the next one on the 'we dislike list'..
#27
Being a “bad b***h”. You’re just being an a-hole. Idk if there’s a moniker like that for guys but guys do it too, labeling yourself doesn’t excuse being a jerk
#29
Body-shaming, whether overweight or underweight.
I had an old classmate who called me anorexic for a year straight, anytime I tried to stand up for myself I was the bad guy because ‘she just wants to be as thin as you’. I was 21kg at twelve and her calling me anorexic killed.
#30
Destroying personal property "Cause he done did me wrong!!!" and thinking they are going to get away with it, "women's intuition", and pretty much every custody case ever.
What do you think ?
les 3 years ago
The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
Dilly Millandry 3 years ago
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
Load More Replies...
Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
J. F. 3 years ago
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
Load More Replies...
Aliquid A 3 years ago
Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Ripley Dog 3 years ago
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
Load More Replies...
les 3 years ago
The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
Dilly Millandry 3 years ago
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
Load More Replies... Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
J. F. 3 years ago
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
Load More Replies... Aliquid A 3 years ago
Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Ripley Dog 3 years ago
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
Load More Replies... You May Like 30 Of The Most Satirical Posts from The “WomenInMaleFields” Viral Trend GF Is Flabbergasted After Jobless BF Insists He Gets Equity In Her Home Due To Housework He Does
Rūta Zumbrickaitė
Monika Pašukonytė
Related on Bored Panda
