Tantruming or screaming in public places. I thought if they can’t behave, don’t take them out! Quickly realized the only way to teach them how to behave in public is to take them out!

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"Because I said so". I swore id never use that phrase. I would explain things to my kid instead. And I do. But after the third or fourth time explaining the exact same thing you just gotta take a bath because I said so.

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For me, it was leashes for toddlers. I’d ask myself, 'What kind of monster would chain their kid to a leash!' Now I have a toddler, and I can totally see why people might need a leash in public places

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Gentle parenting. As strange as that sounds. I thought "getting your a*s whooped" was normal. I was raised in an abusive neglectful home. I knew I had it bad growing up (my parents were alcoholics/addicts, mom overdosed when I was 21) but after having kids I realized *just how bad*.

Now that I'm a parent in a stable healthy home environment, I see how seriously important it is to try to be calm and gentle with my kids. I would never "beat them with the belt" as I had heard SO many times growing up.

Ryot_Chance , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Dirty cars and car seats.

Now I've learned that mess just comes with the territory

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Definitely public meltdowns.

Now having a daughter with sensory issues, I only feel heartache now when I hear/see it.

It sucks.

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Older kids in strollers. My twins were still using the stroller at 4. I didn't have a car, if we're going out for a 6 hour outing to the city I'm absolutely taking the stroller, much safer crossing the road or walking through crowds and somewhere to crash when they're ready for a nap.

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Making special food for their kids. Judged them so hard for that. Now I’m a short order cook. Ah well.

pdx_grl , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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I was never going to bribe my child. I was going to teach him to be respectful and behave without the promise of candy/fruit snacks/screen time. Bahahahaahha. I was young, so full of hope.

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When the parents would decline invitations out for dinners / restaurants at night time, or want the dinner to start at 5pm oh how naive I was! My sister and I would say why don’t they just bring the baby. Now I realise one dinner/night out means a few days out of routine and catch up on already sleep deprived parents!

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Living a flexible life with baby. I'd see relatives with young ones who took hours to leave their house because of all the prep, timing naps and feeds. I'd think to myself, wow couldn't they just do all that outside the home, like at the mall or in the car? Surely, when I have a child they will fit into MY schedule, not the other way round.

Welp... I was very judgemental and naive.

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Basically everything

- screen time
- kids on a leash
- carrying a screaming kid out of a store and leaving a cart behind for someone else to deal with
- cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner
- going out in public with food slopped on their clothes (mom or kid)

I was a great parent before I had a kid lol.

useful-tutu , Allan Mas/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Cosleeping. I SWORE up and down my baby would never sleep with me.. then the PPD/PPA hit. The long nights of waking up every 2 hours to breastfeed. Then him waking up everytime I set him down in the bassinet. I gave up and decided I needed sleep.

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A kid cried through almost an entire 8 hour red eye flight. Back then, I thought geez why don’t the parents do something? Now: those poor parents. That toddler is emotionally abusive.

good_god_lemon1 , Rahul Singh/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Parents who discipline their kids in public. I'm not talking spankings, but the loud stern talking too that the whole store can hear. I get it now.

mille73 , Lisa Fotios/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Carrying your kid in your arms when you have a stroller : "Why do you even buy a stroller if you don't put your kid in it, stupid parent?"

Yeah I learned the hard way why XD.

Inara_R , Lisa Fotios/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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I have a fun one! Little kids (3-6) wearing character stuff with characters from media for big kids (8-13+). Like a 3yo wearing a (not lego) Batman shirt. I just assumed you were a s****y parent who let your 3yo watch pg13 movies. Well, my 3yo loves "Baby Yoda". He has multiple Grogu shirts, and a matching book bag and lunch box, he asked for a "Baby Yoda Cake" for his birthday. Did I let my little preschooler watch The Mandalorian? F**k no! I bought a tube of strawberry Crest toothpaste that had Grogu on the package and it was love at first sight 🤷🏼‍♀️.

raiu86 , davitydave/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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It was never out loud, but I judged parents that said their kid "saved" them from their previous bad life styles or choices or mental health issues or whatever else. It seemed like a lot to put on a kid and if you need help managing (which is normal and reasonable) you should lean on an adult not tiny person who will potentially feel responsible for managing everyone else's emotions once they're grown. But then I had a kid. And all of my bad habits and questionable coping mechanisms became painfully obvious and I realized I had to learn how to deal with life in a healthy way if I was going to be a good example and emotionally present parent. It's caused me to work on some things I wouldn't have otherwise and has kind of saved me.

TankedInATutu , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Breastfeeding in public. I never understood why women did that. I thought why didn't they just do it before they left home?! Now that I'm a mother I know that a nursing mother's schedule is entirely based around when the baby needs to eat and if she only left home when the baby was satiated she would never be able to leave the house! Now that I know better I am happy to see moms getting out into the world with their babies and feeding them in public if needed.

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Children at Brewery's. Now I know brewery's with their beautiful wide open green grassy spaces so kids can run off their energy and delicious ice cold beer so parents can drown their sorrows are MADE for parents 😂.

FauxBoho , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Lol! I used to see mothers at the shops all the time walking around with prams and thought don’t you have anything better to do? then I had a baby and realised the shops are weather and temperature controlled, have parenting rooms with places to feed and change baby, indoor play spaces, the ground is nice and smooth for the pram, you get parking easily with parenting car spots and there is coffee, food and shops and it’s nice to just be around other people because it can be very isolating with a baby.

loveee321 , Yan Krukau/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Picky eating children. “Just make them eat what you are making…” or “I’ll never be a short order cook making separate meals…”. But alas. I picked other battles to fight and here I am, making 3 meals a night. Ugh.

kekeb0327 , Vanessa Loring/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Co sleeping. I had never been so sleep deprived in my life after an entire month of waking up every 45 minutes to 2 hours. I now understand the "survival mode" reason for co sleeping.

Pumpkin156 , Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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It was the leashes for us too. We have 5 kids, 4 of them were perfectly content staying right with us for the most part, the oldest boy would literally take off running for the street though.

Git_Off_Me_Lawn , Tom Ray/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

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Buhahaha I used to tell friends “just bring your kid to blah blah blah! They can nap in the car!”

Umm no. It’s not that easy I was so dumb lol.

S0_Yesterday , Jep Gambardella/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Screen time at a restaurant. We rarely hand over a phone, but sometimes the wait for food is long, and we’ve exhausted all our other resources. Screens are a tool

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Picky eaters. My kids weren’t going to live on chicken nuggets and pizza. My kids would eat whatever we eat.

I have one who will try whatever and eat what he likes, and one who only eats standard kid food.

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Potty training late. And then my first kid had some developmental delays and didn’t potty train fully until just shy of age 4. Karma.

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I remember going on our annual family vacation for the first time after my wife and I were newly married. My sister-in-law would start bedtime routine for their then 6 and 8 year olds at 7pm. I thought that was the most insane millennial helicopter s**t I’d ever seen. Sure enough I have a 5 and 7 year old and bedtime routine starts at 7pm.

Serpico2 , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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That my son wasn't going to gorge on snacks.

Snacks were a forbidden treat in my house so naturally I developed a binge eating disorder and a healthy dose of attached shame, so I consulted a pediatric therapist and we agreed to have a variety of snacks available to be had with no shame attached. He was also offered 3 balanced meals a day to try and promote healthy eating whilst not focusing on it, unfortunately as it happens my boy is autistic and has ADHD and at this point if all he's eaten in the day is 4 oranges and a good few bags of crisps I'm just glad he's eaten. It's better than forcing him to sit at the table for meals and meltdown because he doesn't like the way his safe food looks that day.

So now the balanced safe meal is put next to him with whatever activity he's doing and 90% of the time he will unconsciously pick at it whilst doing said activities but some days, snacks are the safe food and that's okay.

NM1795 , Lisa Fotios/Pexels(not the actual photo) Report

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Snotty noses. Urrgghh... It's so gross.... How hard is it to wipe their noses. Well i had a kid with allergies, and then daycare with the 59 colds per year... and i did wipe his nose... Because it was gross, but it was also a knockdown drag out fight to get him to use a saline rinse or any sucking machine to really get it cleaned. Babies are strong as hell when you don't wanna break their arms tryna hold them down. I still think it's gross, and I think people still need to try, but I'm way less judgey because lil hulks are hard.

singlemomwcurlz , Thomas Ronveaux/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Using iPads or their phones when they were out. I said I wouldn’t let her watch iPad until she was at school

Hahahahahaha

Giving her the phone has saved my sanity while I was at the shops.

anon , Kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Early leave from work for daycare pickup. I was always like, just pick them up AFTER work you shammer. Then I learned about state and daycare policies which limits care to so many 8 hours. So if you have a commute...well, best of luck.

Then there are add-on costs....competition just to get in to one....and then the horrible school hours that still require before and after school care FOR THE SAME PRICE AS A NORMAL FULL DAY OF DAYCARE!!

It probably cost my wife and I 25k/yr for two kids for daycare for 8 years. A normal average run of the mil daycare.

yippekayaye_7 , Alexander Grey/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Only talking about their kids. It’s gotten easier over time, but besides work what am I even doing besides momming real hard?

cakesandkittens , Anastasia Shuraeva/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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"god why is that kid eating so much junk!"

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Screaming kids on a plane.

Took my then 4 month old and 2 and a half year old on a plane so they could see my wife's family for the first time.

Vowed I would never do it again.

Tickets already booked for a mid year flight.

Turbulent-Cat-4546 , Wemerson Santana/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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I still judge this: if parent doesnt parent. Like screaming kid ok but what does parent do? Is there with kid handling it somewhat? Or playing on phone? Kid is jumping on couch, not theirs they can jump home if they want, does parent tries to stop it or just ignores it?
Kid grabs toy from another kid kid cries what does parent do? Do they go to return toy or just sit and stare at mud?

Round-Ticket-39 , Stephen Andrews/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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My kids were never going to eat food while not seated properly. Never! I remember doing CPR training for the like 7th time and the instructor mentioned how dangerous it is for kids to walk/run around with food in their mouth. Oops. I know it's not good, but sometimes I just don't have the energy to force my daughter to sit. It's better now that she's 3 and can be reasoned with.

toddlermanager , Shohei Ohara/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Letting them be fussy eaters. My kid is fussy as all get out. It drives me nuts, but there’s not much else I can do.

realzealman , KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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