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“Going Down On A Woman”: 50 Straight Guys Share The Wildest Things Labeled “Gay”
Gender roles are a hot topic these days, but there is a segment of the population whose definition of being straight is so narrow, that the moment a man puts in even an ounce of effort, they are immediately declared “gay.”
Someone asked “Straight guys, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because "that's gay"?” and people shared their most unhinged examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
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#1
As a straight woman, I think the gayest thing straight men do IS THINK everything is gay. Like…why are you always thinking about being gay? Gay men? Gay things? Colors that are gay, seasons are gay, drinks are gay, clothes are gay? Like…….maybe YOURE GAY dude .
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#2
Eating soup. For some reason a friend of mine thinks soup is gay and I love soup.
Of course my highest rated comment is about gay soup.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 month ago
Meaning I must be gay too. Cause I used to dislike soup (had it too many times as a child) but now, nothing warms the dark soul of mine like hot broth.
#3
I travel to work every day by public transport, including the train. One day a man of Ottoman descent spoke to me. He asked me not to show off my gayness so publicly, as it was disgusting.
I wear a brown leather bracelet on my left wrist with the name of my son (who was 2 years old at the time) engraved on it.
When I confronted him and told him he could keep his homophobic views to himself and that this was my son's name, he accused me of being xenophobic and Islamophobic.
#4
Have a cat. My little buddy is so damn cool. Everyone loves Cosmo.
#5
I can sew, knit and crochet. My aunt watched me as a kid and was a seamstress so I picked it up from her. I got a lot of s**t for being able to do this but whateves. Very useful skills.
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago
Knitting used to be done by men - guilds to protect craft secrets and all. It didn't become 'feminine' until the Victorian era
#6
When I was a kid I did ballet and I was the only boy in the class. Apparently, dancing with twenty girls and being the fastest runner in the school because of my larger-than-average leg muscles is "gaaaaayyyyyy!".
#7
Going down on a woman. Seriously. "That's where the d**k goes!"
Fellas, is it gay to have sex with women?
#8
I'm literally tattooing on the guy and say "ok just have Magenta and Gold then we're done" and he I s**t you not says "Magenta?! What are you, queer? Just call it pink. Dont need to have fancy names for s**t"
Like dude, I have 10 different shades of Pink in this drawer, it's kind of my whole f*****g job to know the difference lol
Also, youre the one getting permanently colored pink in this spot, and you wanna call me gay for knowing the name?!
S**t cracked me up.
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
I'd end the session and leave him with half-finished tat. I guess you manly alpha dude don't want an ink made by some "queer", do you?
#9
My dad called me gay for eating a salad at lunch one time. I was in the first grade.
Donkey boi 1 month ago
My Da always always encouraged me to eat fruit and veg using the wise words of 'Do you wanna split your AHole every time you have a s**t?'
#10
Show physical affection to a male animal. Specifically, I kissed my male cat on the top of his head.
#11
When I was in a running club the trainer told me to close my hands to a fist while running, because else it looked gay. I still don't understand his point. Are fists heterosexual and open hands gay? And also how does that have ANYTHING to do with running?
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago (edited)
I would've thought an open hand, fingers together, would be more aerodynamic than a closed fist🤷🏻♀️but what do I know, the most running I do is running a bath
Vinnie 1 month ago
"Sorry, Usain Bolt, that's 2 points off for gay form." By the way, isn't it cool that the fastest man in the world has the surname "Bolt"? 😊
UKGrandad 1 month ago
That's nominative determinism at work. He was either going to be a runner or a lock-maker.
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Chase Ighani 1 month ago
maybe he was worried it would somehow evolve in jazz hands while doing the half marathon, and that right there would be a problem /s
Nikole 1 month ago
I’m picturing someone doing jazz hands while running a marathon and it’s making me laugh so much!
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Jake Bertz 1 month ago
If you run with closed fists that's way gayer cus it looks like you're giving handjobs while you run
Space Invader 1 month ago
"The Flash" is always illustrated running with open habds, so... oh my!
#12
Me and my friends were deciding which movie we wanted to check out in the theater and decided on Brokeback Mountain because the alternative looked “kinda gay”.
Mind that we knew what both movies were about and none of us at that time (or since, I hasten to add) were homophobic or intolerant, that was just the vernacular of the time. Soon as my friend said it though we just kinda looked at each other and burst out laughing, and I think that was the last time I remember any of us using the word as an insult.
#13
Get a vasectomy. I’ve seen it making the rounds of fundamentalist influencers as well.
Apparently having tons of unprotected worry free sex with my wife is gay. .
#14
I used to have a job that required me to wear a suit and tie. A woman I was seeing said that it was gay that I laid them out the night before. The reason I do that is because me and mornings don’t like each other very much.
I was called gay for not grabbing and kissing a female friend of mine when she wanted me to. For the record, this was several weeks after the “I only see you as a friend and I don’t want to date you” speech. She had not updated her feelings for me to me. Apparently respecting women’s stated boundaries is gay.
Hanging out with my best friend? Two men alone together must be doing the gay to each other.
Honestly, it is exhausting sometimes.
#15
Blasting Pink Pony Club next to some construction workers. 1 started dancing. His buddy called him a flag. He gave him the finger and kept dancing.
#16
Was out getting drinks with a friend towards the end of pride month, the bar we went to had a special drink for pride called a "Pride-acolada" it had all kinds of fruit in it and sounded delicious so I ordered one. My friend looked at me with terror in his eyes and said "arnt you worried that people will think you are gay if you order that." I just laughed at him, told him I didn't care and no one else does either, lost a bit of respect for him in that moment.
#17
Wiping your own a*s. "Why clean the house unless you're expecting vistors?" -_-
Some of y'all are nasty. How about i just like living in a clean house?
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago (edited)
Apparently they don't wash either - like, how do they not get a rash or fungal infection or something - I guess that's one way to say you're not dating anyone🤷🏻♀️
#18
I'm a girl dad, so I keep a hair tie looped around my wallet. We kept getting to events (dance, soccer, gymnastics) without one, so I just keep it on me.
I got called a f****t for doing this.
#19
Any type of PPE on a blue collar job site.
People think getting intense sunburn and skin cancer or having their toes crushed is peak masculinity.
These are the guys in their early 30/40's that have f****d up their bodies and still try to encourage newbies to do the wrong thing.
michael reid 1 month ago (edited)
I cover about 150 building sites and have never heard anyone being ridiculed for wearing PPE. In fact the opposite, someone who blatantly doesn't use it eg no face mask while cutting stone indoors is considered an idiot
#20
Pee sitting down.
I was taking care of my Parkinson's addled father. Walking and falling down were a big issue. I was basically living at his house towards the end, holding his elbow everywhere he went, including many a midnight bathroom trip, standing there holding him up and holding his d**k so he could pee. I kept trying to get him to just sit down to pee so I didn't have to touch his d**k.
"NO! I'm not sitting down to take a p**s!"
"Why not?"
"That's too Fagou!".
Nadine Debard 1 month ago
'Real men' wash after themselves so many 'real men' sit down. Period.
#21
Putting my hands on my hips after running flat out on a treadmill at the gym. It's a "gay pose" apparently!
Nadine Debard 1 month ago
It's a superhero pose, IMO. But wait, super heroes wear tights. Never mind, you won't win with this one.
#22
Drink wine.
In "small town southern USA", guys drink beer and girls drink wine. Some dude took my glass of wine and gave me a beer once at a house party.
Donkey boi 1 month ago
Could you imagine if they visited France, Italy, Spain, or well... Anywhere in Europe! 'Europe is gay!'
#23
Cry
It was always kids at school never at home though. My dad is, at least emotionally, a tradional man's man, but he never told me not to cry. Which caused some issues for me as a kid but helped the adult me be emotionally healthy.
A couple years ago my dad played my family possibly the saddest song to ever exist. Jacobs Dream by Allison Krauss. A devastating song about children freezing to death in the woods while their parents search for them often from the POV of the dead kids, including lines like 'mommy and daddy don't cry we arent cold anymore'
I didn't make it past the first chorus before breaking down, like full body sobs. My dad says something like the classic 'are you really that upset' to which i replied something like 'im not ashamed of the crying, its a really sad song'
The song finished out as my dad continued to pick up around the house, and I definitely saw him wipe a few tears away. He's been a bit more open about showing tears since then. Its funny because it helped me realize my biggest cry trigger: strong men trying to hold back tears and failing
Multa Nocte 1 month ago
That song is a massive heart breaker, to be sure. One of the most beautiful songs ever.
#24
Like flowers. B***h, I love lilacs and will not be shamed for going out of my way every spring to fall in love with the smell again and again.
#25
Liking cats. Apparently favoring cats over dogs makes me gay.
Saint-Thomas 1 month ago
I read "licking cats"... and thought "well, it's not gay, but it sure is strange" :-)
#27
Grew up in the 80s and 90s anything you did or expressed a interest in you got called gay for.
Matt Richardson 1 month ago
Not where I grew up... I mean you'd think the Florida and Georgia area would be a hot bed for this stuff. Weirdo and freak were the go-to insults.
#28
The strangest one I've heard is "Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down."
Another one: "Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded.".
Belandriel 1 month ago
Yeah, I also enjoy watching a movie with my friends sitting a mile away
#29
Liking the color pink. I didn't care about this at first when I was a kid cuz I really liked the color green.
Liking butterflies. Liking green to me meant liking nature as well, cuz nature has the best greens. And nature provides the most beautiful of colors. Insects and especially butterflies fascinated me. They're just cool and pretty to look at.
Annik Perrot 1 month ago
I have a grandson who really likes pink. He'd wear it all the time but at 5, he's already realized wearing pink would put him into trouble at school. So he only wears it at home or on the week-ends. Sad.
#30
I haven't been told this, but a Facebook friend posted she would never let her man wear flip flops because "that's gay".
JD 1 month ago
One of the perks of being gay is you rarely run into men who want to control your clothing. I've known so many straight men who basically let their wives and girlfriends treat them like children when it comes to clothes -- and it's not like they improve his style in any way, they just veto his favorite clothes. So he looks like a more boring version of himself.
#32
I once (advised by my therapist) tried to make friends at work by asking someone to go grab a coffee... He said it was weird for two men to go get coffee.
F**k you too, Miguel.
#33
Putting on sunscreen.
#34
Drinking a cocktail (or a female drink as they say).
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
you go an drink your nasty tasting whiskey and ill drink my delicious fruity cocktail that will get me twatted
#35
I had a male friend who wouldn’t drink through a straw because you “look gay” when you use a straw.
#37
Not drinking alcohol when using power tools. I do woodworking as a hobby, and not drinking alcohol when operating table saws and planners is gay apparently. I guess PPE is also gay by extension.
michael reid 1 month ago
Never heard this. Like at all. And I'm Scottish, we're well known for our love of the drink. If someone was using power tools drunk they'd be avoided where I live, not just during the incident but after, too
#38
Saying I love you and hugging your best friend as a man that is a man.
#40
Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my colour.
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago
If pink's your colour than it's actually quite sexy - and if your hetero - a lot of woman will appreciate that you know your colour and have the confidence to wear pink - so keep doing you and be sexy!
#41
Wallet on left side? Gay.
Ear ring in right ear? Gay
Having a color preference of any kind? Gay
M*******ting? Means you are gay.
Any crossing of the legs other than foot on top of opposite knee? Gay.
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago
Oh, they're just showing their age - the wallet and earring thing were 'signals' back-in-the-day
#42
Old guys at work said that liking avocado is gay.
#43
Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy..
Kathryn Burnett 1 month ago
😂😂😂😂 no but my husband and his guy friend went to get all you can eat sushi together...on Valentine's Day!! 😂😂😂
#44
My cousin introduced me to the computer game “you don’t know jack”. When I visited him again, he had uninstalled it and wouldn’t let me play it because he said it makes people gay.
#46
I'm of Mexican descent, which has a very machista culture. When I was a kid I used to eat tacos by squeezing my thumb and index fingers and my other 3 digits would be standing up. My parents would make fun of me and would say it looked feminine every time they caught me doing it till I stopped cuz I was just really annoyed by it all. I mean, its terrible taco eating form, no support, but that's not why they hassled me.
#47
Design curvy UI component, like button, alert dialog, text box. If its too rounded, my coworker say its gay.
#48
Checking my finger nails with my palm facing away from me lol .
Brian Droste 1 month ago
How else are you going to see if your finger nails are getting to long?
#50
Any leg cross that wasn't your ankle sitting on your knee was gay.
What do you think ?
Anonymous Fox 1 month ago (edited)
As a 100000% totally super straight man I can't even count how may times I've been called gay for liking men. Edit: Guys, I've come to a realization
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago
I left a comment like this but I'm sure some of these 'men' who consider normal, everyday acts 'gay' are worried that gay men are going to hit on them and not respect their 'no' - you know, like the 'dude' does to women
BrunoVI 1 month ago
I think you're correct. The other thing I think going on here is misguided attempts to assert what "manly" behavior was for the purpose of Darwinian success.
Load More Replies...
Andrew Bridge 1 month ago
Well it turns out I'm a super massive gay, just without the Being Attracted To Men bit 🙃
Nadine Debard 1 month ago
I don't know why you were downvoted for your joke, take an upvote!
Load More Replies... 
Ionescu Popa 1 month ago (edited)
they are the huge majority, and even when they are gay themselves keep the same behavior. it's not homophobia, it's dominance assertion, harassment and intimidation.
Load More Replies...
August 1 month ago (edited)
Im straight and most of these made me laugh, I mean, drinking with a straw!?
Brenda Hart 1 month ago
Guys seem to be particularly insecure about their masculinity. Sad and strange to limit yourself in so many ways.
Fellfromthemoon 1 month ago
It makes me gay every time. Or merry? Forgive me, if I mix up the synonims, I'm not a native English speaker.
Load More Replies... MadderPacker 1 month ago
Lol why is it either: small d**k energy or deep in the closet energy with these posts.
Richard Graham 1 month ago
I want to start a movement. Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, is openly gay. Pete Buttigieg, the Secretary of Transportation, is openly gay, Anderson Cooper...Sam Altman...Peter Thiel...David Geffen... I could go on. "Gay" SHOULD mean "very successful, very smart, and very driven." People should say things like "You got promoted to V.P. of Sales! That is so gay!" or "You graduated at the top of your law school class! That is so gay!."
René Sauer 1 month ago
So, straight men better just stand around motionless if they don´t want to be called gay...
Sven Horlemann 1 month ago
It only shows me (a straight male) how stupid people - here: men - are. Good Lord.
T.M.P Janssen 1 month ago
The insecurity of some of these idiots stinks through the internet. Puh.
similarly 1 month ago
I don't know if it still exists, but decades ago, there used to be a little hand-held cordless mini-vacuum called a DustBuster. A woman once told me that any man who has a dustbuster by the bed was gay. I had a dustbuster by the bed because it was a sofa-sleeper, and since I frequently ate on the sofa, and accidents do happen, I liked having a quick vacuum nearby for dropped popcorn, etc.
Batmanzeenee 1 month ago
I have to use Chapstick because I have eczema, a dry skin disease. The comments over the years, I couldn't care less, I'm comfy with my chapstick on.
Fellfromthemoon 1 month ago (edited)
That is pure testosterone. Being with a woman, who is nice, soft and cuddly is not really manly, isn't it? Being with a man, a rough, tough one, with lots of testosterone seems more manly. So, being with a woman is def. more gay than being with a testosterone bomb. (adapted from the Click)
Load More Replies...
Adz86 1 month ago
You just know most of these guys making homophobic remarks have been face down, a**e up being railed by strange men in a seedy hotel.
martin734 1 month ago
You say that as if there is something wrong with it. Face down, ar*e up, being railed by a strange man is one of my favourite ways to end an evening!
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 1 month ago
I was visiting a high school. I was wearing a pink oxford-cloth Brooks Brother shirt, a striped silk tie, and a grey suit. Some student said I looked gay because the shirt was pink.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
Back in the day I heard the phrase Real men don't eat quiche. Don't know if this was referenced to being gay. I might had quiche once. If it was that it was delicious.
Anonymous Fox 1 month ago (edited)
As a 100000% totally super straight man I can't even count how may times I've been called gay for liking men. Edit: Guys, I've come to a realization
Jill Rhodry 1 month ago
I left a comment like this but I'm sure some of these 'men' who consider normal, everyday acts 'gay' are worried that gay men are going to hit on them and not respect their 'no' - you know, like the 'dude' does to women
BrunoVI 1 month ago
I think you're correct. The other thing I think going on here is misguided attempts to assert what "manly" behavior was for the purpose of Darwinian success.
Load More Replies... Andrew Bridge 1 month ago
Well it turns out I'm a super massive gay, just without the Being Attracted To Men bit 🙃
Nadine Debard 1 month ago
I don't know why you were downvoted for your joke, take an upvote!
Load More Replies... Ionescu Popa 1 month ago (edited)
they are the huge majority, and even when they are gay themselves keep the same behavior. it's not homophobia, it's dominance assertion, harassment and intimidation.
Load More Replies... August 1 month ago (edited)
Im straight and most of these made me laugh, I mean, drinking with a straw!?
Brenda Hart 1 month ago
Guys seem to be particularly insecure about their masculinity. Sad and strange to limit yourself in so many ways.
Fellfromthemoon 1 month ago
It makes me gay every time. Or merry? Forgive me, if I mix up the synonims, I'm not a native English speaker.
Load More Replies... MadderPacker 1 month ago
Lol why is it either: small d**k energy or deep in the closet energy with these posts.
Richard Graham 1 month ago
I want to start a movement. Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, is openly gay. Pete Buttigieg, the Secretary of Transportation, is openly gay, Anderson Cooper...Sam Altman...Peter Thiel...David Geffen... I could go on. "Gay" SHOULD mean "very successful, very smart, and very driven." People should say things like "You got promoted to V.P. of Sales! That is so gay!" or "You graduated at the top of your law school class! That is so gay!."
René Sauer 1 month ago
So, straight men better just stand around motionless if they don´t want to be called gay...
Sven Horlemann 1 month ago
It only shows me (a straight male) how stupid people - here: men - are. Good Lord.
T.M.P Janssen 1 month ago
The insecurity of some of these idiots stinks through the internet. Puh.
similarly 1 month ago
I don't know if it still exists, but decades ago, there used to be a little hand-held cordless mini-vacuum called a DustBuster. A woman once told me that any man who has a dustbuster by the bed was gay. I had a dustbuster by the bed because it was a sofa-sleeper, and since I frequently ate on the sofa, and accidents do happen, I liked having a quick vacuum nearby for dropped popcorn, etc.
Batmanzeenee 1 month ago
I have to use Chapstick because I have eczema, a dry skin disease. The comments over the years, I couldn't care less, I'm comfy with my chapstick on.
Fellfromthemoon 1 month ago (edited)
That is pure testosterone. Being with a woman, who is nice, soft and cuddly is not really manly, isn't it? Being with a man, a rough, tough one, with lots of testosterone seems more manly. So, being with a woman is def. more gay than being with a testosterone bomb. (adapted from the Click)
Load More Replies... Adz86 1 month ago
You just know most of these guys making homophobic remarks have been face down, a**e up being railed by strange men in a seedy hotel.
martin734 1 month ago
You say that as if there is something wrong with it. Face down, ar*e up, being railed by a strange man is one of my favourite ways to end an evening!
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 1 month ago
I was visiting a high school. I was wearing a pink oxford-cloth Brooks Brother shirt, a striped silk tie, and a grey suit. Some student said I looked gay because the shirt was pink.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
Back in the day I heard the phrase Real men don't eat quiche. Don't know if this was referenced to being gay. I might had quiche once. If it was that it was delicious.
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