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We all romanticize something. For a long time, I wished I had lived a few centuries earlier, when things were simpler, and you didn't need to fight with your neighbors over a parking spot. But then I read about children working at factories, cholera, ridiculously bad medical care, and suddenly I wasn't too psyched about it. Who could've thought that the past wasn't as glamorous as the movies made me believe?
Turns out, talking about crooked mirrors is quite popular on Reddit. We at Bored Panda recently discovered three posts (1, 2, 3) with essentially the same question: What does society romanticize way too much? And judging from the abundance of upvotes and comments, we thought it might be a good idea to share some of the replies with you, dear Pandas. From eating disorders to workaholism, continue scrolling to check out the most popular ones and let us know if you agree with them in the comments.
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#1
Acts of charity that shouldn't be necessary.
Like a kid who saves up their lunch money to pay their best friends medical bills or something. Sure, it's admirable, but our response shouldn't be 'awww' it should be, 'why the frick is this necessary, why are we letting our governments fail us?'
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#2
Celebrities. Fake people living fake, manufactured lives, yet the media insists that we care what they think, what they wear, who they're voting for, who they're f**king. All because they were born with some genetic gift, or born into the right family, or some other twist of fate thrust them into the limelight. It used to just be Hollywood types. Now we have this whole generation of insta models, reality stars, and other "influencers" whose only contribution to society is their shameless self promoting BS. And people eat it up. Meanwhile we have skyrocketing rates of teen depression and suicide because kids are bombarded with these impossible standards of beauty and popularity in their formative years.
#3
Giant weddings. Why are you putting yourself into crazy debt and through a bunch of stress for a giant event you probably won't even be able to fully enjoy? Save your money, elope and buy a cool house or go take an awesome vacation.
#4
Mental illness. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a disease none of us want to have. You're not cool, trendy or suddenly super [friggin] interesting because you claim to have a mental illness
Pearl 3 years ago
Yes! Like those TikTok teens (questionably) saying they have depression like it's a quirky personality trait! It's not and is serious. Most people don't think they're depressed enough to get help. I'm speaking from experience here.
Cactus McCoy 3 years ago
The difference between "depressed" and "depressive" needs to be known.
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Julie C Rose 3 years ago
As someone who has a diagnosis, stop thinking YOU’RE so special that your mental illness is real but everyone else’s isn’t.
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
(Complete edit, because now that I've had time to think about it) The bigger problem is the misery Olympics that goes with it. "You've got Depression? Well, I've got PTSD. I'll see your PTSD and raise you ADHD *and* Schizophrenia." It's not a competition. No one's mental illness is more or less valid (or debilitating) than anyone else's. It isn't the "realness" of someone else's issues that's the problem, it's the degree. And the stigma has degrees as well. Anxiety is "trendy", but Bipolar is "dangerous". And the media doesn't sodding help by suggesting that some mental issues are "worse" than others.
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lil_gremlin 3 years ago
Exactly! As someone with mental disorders, I think it's disgusting. Having depression or an eating disorder or Tourette's isn't "cool" or "quirky" or "cute"! It's a mental condition! Not a personality trait.
Ivana 3 years ago
I don't think a lot of people lie about it though. NIH says that around 16% of American adults report having at least one major depressive episode. That is depression alone, not to mention all the other mental illnesses out there. There are different levels of mental illness, some people experience it only once for a short period, some people have it for life. Also, people present it differently. Teens in particular are going through a lot of hormone changes and they are notorious for being a little cringe so it might seem to you that they are faking it but just take them at their word because there is always a good chance they are not faking it, they are in legitimate pain. Why risk it?
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
They self-diagnose a lot. Then beg for meds. I'm an MD. we see it ALLLLL the time.
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Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Mental illness is real. I dont know why people think of it as an accessory. It's not fun or cool at all. Its debilitating. Its sadness. Its confusion. It's all negative.
Suzy the observer 3 years ago
Trust me, you do not want chronic anxiety. It makes your life Hell.
Kimberly Buchanan 3 years ago
Mental illness is hell! I have several, I'm finally on the right medication. People are surprised when they find out I have them. Most people self diagnose. That doesn't mean anything. You have to see a therapist, and they will diagnose you. It's not cool and shouldn't be 'glamorized.' If you have suffered because of mental illness, you know how painful it is inside your head.
Grace Austin 2 years ago
Well said! It feels like you aren’t safe inside your own mind
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Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago
I may think the ones who fake it use it to justify their bad behaviour.
MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago
I want to normalize talking about mental illness and how serious it is because of this.
Grace Austin 2 years ago
I don’t want to tell people I have ocd because I know they will just be like ‘oh, she’s just trying to be quirky’. I wish people didn’t lie about having it, so it would be easier to talk about it
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Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
I cannot up-vote this enough. Mental illness still has a very dark stigma attached to in some parts of the world, which is incredibly tragic when so many people will grapple with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, ADHD throughout their lives. It is a topic that is often swept under the rug and spoken about in hushed whispers because we are afraid to confront it when it is actually something incredibly normal. It is a topic that is often fetishized or made into a quirky little personality trait in mass media, yet we rarely have open discussions about it. There should be NO stigma around mental health and seeking the help that you need and deserve. With the pandemic there has been so many people facing trauma over losing their jobs or seeing a loved one pass away-- we as a society really need to have more resources, discussion, and help available for mental illness. That's the only way that the stigma will end and that mental illness will no longer be viewed as a fashion accessory.
Spellflinger 3 years ago
YES! No you don’t have OCD you’re just a spoiled snowflake who has to have their own way. And being happy one minute and sad the next does not make you bipolar. Mental health issues are not fun. They are not cute. They are not cool. And these attitudes are incredibly insulting to those who deal with them every day. And yes also speaking from experience.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Yes. This. Mental illness is hideous to undergo. I have PTSD, legit, diagnosed by 3 professionals in the trade, and it is not quirky. it's horrible.
Manndy Fisher 3 years ago
That actually creates the whole "it's not a big deal" culture. My own mother thinks I have "season depression" and claims she is getting that too so it's not a big deal. She sees that everywhere and some people use that as fashionable state of mind. NO, IT'S HORRIBLE FEELING AND EVERYBODY SHOULD BE AWARE OF THAT!! Don't try to have it, don't try to fake it, don't ignore it when someone showing real symptoms or tells you they struggle. You think is cool and trendy to have mental illness? Go ahead and volunteer at mental hospital, you will have time of your life I guarantee. A**holes.
Grace Austin 2 years ago
Mental illnesses are not quirks. They are not adjectives. They are not conversation starters. They are mental illnesses and they need to be treated as what they are.
Zophra 3 years ago
And yet some of the students I teach are like, proud of it and eager to share. I've even seen them one-up each other: " I have ADHD"... "I raise you, depression, anxiety, and ADHD..." I'm glad that they feel no stigma for mental illness, but I feel like for some it's just a way to get attention?
Kiran 3 years ago
I do not flaunt my depression and anxiety attack just to get away from s**t. I also do my best to access help that I need so I do not turn into an emotional burden for others. However, I have let my place of employment know so on days I may be acting strange they know where I am coming from. I am fortunate to be working in healthcare because my co- workers understand what I am going through.
RandomBeing 3 years ago
One one hand YES TO THIS. But on the other hand it may be a coping mechanism to joke about it so be careful when judging.
Susan Widomski 2 years ago
Has glamorizing mental illness actually led to people hurting themselves?
PixxelDust 3 years ago
It's so annoying when you hear unironic videos that are 8 year olds being like "I hAvE dEpReSsIoN aNd AnXiEtY aNd OcD aNd AdHd AnD aDd AnD tOuReTtEs sO i LiKe To FiDdLe" its not cool, it's painful. And if you were experiencing those things you probably would need way more confidence than you have in your entire being to even start a social media account, let alone post these things.
Derek Clark 3 years ago
Every teen now has anxiety and PTSD. And when you ask if they got diagnosed by a professional, of course the answer is no. They get triggered by everything too. No Mini-Karen, your dad once kicking you by accident in a tussle isn't a traumatic event to cause PTSD.
P. Mozzani 3 years ago
People glom onto the subject dujour. It's been happening for more years than we can count. It shows ignorance at its worst. It's disgusting, and so worthy of being ignored.
Anita Pickle 3 years ago
This! When did it become trendy to be "suicidal". It takes away from the people that really need help. Today's tween/teen population is like a real life version of modern day Heathers. It is bizarre.
John Baker 3 years ago
I know I'll probably get downvoted into oblivion for this, but I sometimes wonder if there's anything that *isn't* a mental health crisis for Zoomers.
Andy-Pandy Broomfield 3 years ago
~4 years with no positive improvement. If anything the complete opposite. I still can't imagine being here in 2022. Why the f@%k would someone claim this for likes!!!
Jackie Porter 3 years ago
Depression ruined a large majority of my life so far. It's brutal and harsh and not interesting.
Sean Harrison 3 years ago
When I went back to college (I was the only Genx in my classes) I thought it was weird how openly the other, younger, students talked about their mental illnesses, and sometimes I felt like when they talked about them they were trying to "one-up" each other with how damaged they are, like it's the Zoomer version of cool.
Brian Michael 3 years ago
What does it matter? Your mental illness is your own and what does it matter if someone wants to claim or accessorize with it? Focus on yourself and it feels like you want to be special.
not_sure_why_I'm_here_lol 3 years ago
literally- theres way too many people my age faking it for attention or to be "quirky". As someone whos actually diagnosed, it sucks.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
Wow Samantha...where do I even begin. A huge resounding "yawn" back to you. Would you care to tell us why you are so utterly bored about a discussion regarding mental illness and why you wrote a very rude "Yawn"? I suppose that you don't think that it's a valid topic that needs to be talked about in depth. YAWN SAMANTHA....
Load More Replies... #5
Public marriage proposals, where the other party is basically shamed into accepting.
#6
Cancer. I'm not brave, strong or even a hero/inspiration.
I just don't want to die.
#7
Controlling/abusive relationships. Twilight and 50 shades I’m looking at you.
#9
Workaholism, the grind, hustle culture. It's not for everybody, and it doesn't mean someone is a failure to not devote their life to making as much money as possible. What's the point of making money if you have no time of your own to enjoy it? I work about 55 hours a week, and I feel like I have no time at all to actually enjoy my life. I don't know how people who are constantly hustling do it.
If it's for you, cool. I'm not casting aspersions. Maybe that is how you get enjoyment out of life. That's awesome and in some ways I'm a bit envious. But it should not be some ideal or standard.
#10
"Gangster" lifestyle. Nobody in the hood wants to be there.
#11
Jealousy.
You know what's hot? Trust.
#12
Depression.
There's nothing romantic about not showering for three days and forgetting what it's like to be able to feel things.
Biba Little 3 years ago
Depression is not just "not showering for three days...", you can look amazing, happy, work and still be depressed. This is too simplified description. I take good care of myself, shower every day, work, read, have hobbies, yet I was diagnosed with depression. Either there are many sides of this disease or those three doctors were wrong.
#13
The mentality of girls “playing hard to get”. No, she’s not into you because you’re being a creep dude, not because she wants you to try harder.
pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
Exactly! Same with people thinking they need to play games in order to "make you want them"
#14
Eating disorders. It's not beautiful and tragic, it's just a lot of gross s**t. Like hoarding bags of chewed up food under your bed. Taking laxatives until you piss water out of your ass and you're so dehydrated you have to go to the hospital. Having dentures/implants at 30 because your teeth rotted out. Walking around in public not realizing you have vomit in your hair, which by the way, is falling out by the fistful. I remember reading one horrifying story from an ER nurse who had a patient who was literally vomiting faeces because her stool was so impacted due to constipation from her anorexia. Imagine vomiting your own s**t.
And that's not including risks like heart failure, life-threatening arrhythmias, brain atrophy, gastric rupture...
There's nothing pretty about eating disorders.
#15
Toxic relationships and the bad boy ideology - "bad boys" may seem all cute on paper but no, you cannot fix them. It is up to the person to change and toxic relationships are a battle to make healthy. Only if the two parties are willing to sort it out then it can work out but there's nothing romantic about toxicity, it hurts and screws with your head
#17
Having children.
Being a parent is [friggin] hard work, and kids are basically a**holes for years and years. If you're not sure you're up for the challenge, postpone it while you consider it some more.
Some people are savants when it comes to child rearing, but for most people, it's a skill you have to build, and constantly work on as your kid grows and find new ways to almost kill themselves. And even if you do everything right, life can still throw you curveballs.
Thankfully, I see more and more honesty about the darker sides of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and economy, and I genuinely believe we are heading towards a generation of enthusiastic parents, who chose the life, rather than just letting it happen to them.
#18
Poverty.
Growing up poor and oppressed in a third world country and climbing your way out of this hell, it is not inspirational nor heartwarming. There is nothing beautiful about having to work until you break just so you can provide. No person deserves to live this kind of life. Help, don't romanticize the poor.
#19
Working while sick.
JUST STOP! It's not tough of you. You're not taking one for the team. You're probably about to take the whole team out.
I get it. Some workplaces have punitive policies for taking sick days (scary sidenote: like every single hospital I've ever worked). Some of us can't afford not to work that shift. But those are policy questions we should be pushing back on as soon as this administration is in the history books and we can finally get back to boring policy making again.
#20
Stalking o.o Nothing's sexy about a guy following you around or appearing randomly everywhere you go.
#21
The past.
No, it wasn't better. No, back in your day kids weren't better behaved. No, back in your day things weren't easier.
NsG 3 years ago
Ah, but you're forgetting: in the past *they* were the kids so of _course_ they were better behaved. And things *were* easier, because *they* were younger, with fewer responsibilities and the harsh realities hadn't hit them yet. Everything they think is true. For a given value of "true".
#22
Losing your virginity...
You don't suddenly change into a whole new person once you've had sex. Teenagers should definitely not have this as a benchmark for being grown up.
MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago
Im a virgin and happy about it. Im Asexual too and i never really got the ¨Appeal¨ of it
#23
Unnecessarily aggressive and certain spontaneous behavior, if someone throws a cup of coffee in someone else’s face simply because they don’t like the person, they aren’t cool or badass, they’re an a**hole
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Ditto this for being intentionally loud and unpleasant then calling it ‘being strong’ and ‘dominant’ - it immediately says you’re too ignorant to reason or collaborate with and should be avoided
#24
Pregnancy. It's scary, life threatening, hard, exhausting, and so many more things. I was so sick. I was sick even after delivering at 32 weeks because if I didn't she and I would have died from HELLP syndrome. Feeling her kick and wiggle was the only thing I liked about being pregnant. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me but it was so hard and the NICU was terrifying in itself. So many people romanticize pregnancy when there isn't nothing pretty about it. The Maternal Mortality rate in this country is absolutely shameful but that seems to get over looked with most things when it comes to pregnancy.
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
I dunno dude, this one is subjective. Pregnancy could uncomfortable but I felt amazing most of it. That’s not to say there aren’t those who’ll experience complications. The aftermath pressure to have to entertain people while they came to see the baby, the shame I felt when my daughter refused the breast and was on formula, and the overwhelming empathy that made me so sensitive I wondered if I’d ever function in the world again was other worldly.
#25
Gambling; because gambling isn't about James Bond playing Baccarat in Monte Carlo. It's about sad, addicted people desperately playing slot machines and losing money they don't have.
#26
Ignorance. You've got the right to not care about the world around you, but it's not something to brag about.
#27
Portraying a glamorous life on social media. I am so sick and tired of every single person trying to make themselves look like a foodie, fitness model and wanderlust world explorer. Just live your life people. Stop doing things for the 'gram. It doesn't care about you or how much of your life you are wasting trying to impress people. Spend more time with your spouse, friends and family and you won't regret it.
Sergy Yeltsen 3 years ago
The really perverted and asinine thing about this is most of the projected image is a lie. Camera angles, Photoshop, airbrushing, lies. And all these vapid, arrogant, narcissistic fools are doing is making more people depressed by pushing it as an ideal that so few can reach.
#28
being proud of "being bad at maths". also hating learning/education.
#29
Chronic illness or life altering disease. People glamorize being sick in books and movies as a lesson in strength, positive outlook, and acceptance. Great values to learn but it completely ignores the constant pain, isolation, and fear that sick people face daily. People pass around feel good stories about “inspiring” people living their lives to the fullest while terminally or forever ill to make healthy and able bodied people feel grateful for what they have. I, nor anyone else in this community that I know, don’t want to be your positive inspiration porn. This life is hard and we wouldn’t choose it so stop using it for stories/media that you get to be emotional over then walk away from.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Yeah. I hate people talk about ill people as "brave", "fighters" and "they overcame their limitations and now are a CEO". Chronic illneses ruin your life, make you lose all selfrespect, often lead to poverty and isolation, most people leave you. The person I was before being ill is dead, her hopes and dreams, her skills, body wnd mind, friends...
#30
For me, personally, it’s codependency. I always had romanticized the idea that me and my partner would fully depend on each other for every emotional and physical need, and that we would and should be able to fulfill the other persons needs. Now that I’m married I realized that if my husband and I did that with each other we would have a gross and dangerous codependent marriage.
What do you think ?
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
ejfs 3 years ago
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
Daria Z 3 years ago (edited)
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
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whodunnitfan2013 3 years ago (edited)
Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Solidhog 3 years ago
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago (edited)
Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
Tassenküchlein168 3 years ago (edited)
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Bird lover 3 years ago
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
Milan 3 years ago
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
Ozacoter 3 years ago
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
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Just saying 3 years ago
Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
Isabella because yeah 3 years ago
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
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Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
ejfs 3 years ago
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
Daria Z 3 years ago (edited)
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
Load More Replies... whodunnitfan2013 3 years ago (edited)
Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Solidhog 3 years ago
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago (edited)
Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
Tassenküchlein168 3 years ago (edited)
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Bird lover 3 years ago
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
Milan 3 years ago
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
Ozacoter 3 years ago
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
Load More Replies... Just saying 3 years ago
Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
Isabella because yeah 3 years ago
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
Load More Replies...
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