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While some people are needlessly and excessively judgmental, many of us have likely ‘rewarded’ someone with a judgy look at least once or twice in our lives. Sometimes it’s difficult not to! But despite the same emotion, the reasons for judging others tend to differ quite significantly with each person.

For some, it’s their choice of clothing or the cars they drive. For others—it’s the way people handle themselves in public or the things they do behind closed doors. You get the idea—the reasons are ample. Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such reasons, after one netizen asked them about that one thing they secretly judge people for. If you’re curious to see what it is that Redditors can’t tolerate, scroll down to find their answers on the list below and feel free to upvote the reasons—if any—that might make you, too, a little judgmental.

On the list below, you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with Associate Professor of Psychology, Chair of Online Behavioral Sciences, and Director of Division of Behavioral Sciences at the University of Bridgeport, David E. Oberleitner, Ph.D., who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about what it is that makes us judge others.

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    #2

    Plastic bottle floating on water, symbolizing things people secretly judge others for. Littering! Garbage or cigarettes.

    Illcarryon , aboodi vesakaran Report

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    sbj
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand the people who throw litter out of their cars and some of them even pull up to do so. Just take your rubbish home!

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    #3

    A dog on a leash walks beside a person on a gravel path, highlighting things people judge secretly. People who don't pick up their dog's poop. Especially in public parks or in communities where kids would want to play.

    CandyParkDeathSquad , Mitchell Orr Report

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    "Disembodied voice"
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or they leave bagged poop wherever they want. Part of having a dog is cleaning up after them.

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    Seeking to better understand what makes us judge other people, Bored Panda got in touch with Professor of Psychology Dr. David E. Oberleitner, who highlighted that “judgment” does not have an implicit negative connotation. “Humans judge everything in our environment,” he said. “Our brains continuously are looking for patterns, possible threats, and so on—we do this unconsciously with everything as a way to speed up processing and understanding of how we should act or respond in a certain situation.

    “Judgement of others is just one aspect of that evaluative system, as quick judgements help us know how to quickly respond to the situation (for example, ‘Is this person like me?’, ‘What might this person act like?’). We unconsciously trade accuracy of judgements for speed of judgements, which can lead to errors socially.”

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    #4

    A calico cat being petted on a wooden surface, highlighting subtle judgments of affection towards animals. The way they treat their pets; when they kind of ignore them or treat the pet like an accessory instead of making some kind of small acknowledgement of the pet even just scratching the head as the dog walks by. Or people that yell at their dogs. It just rubs me the wrong way.

    suishipie , Marta Markes Report

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    Ann Jeppesen
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like or even trust anyone who doesn't treat animals right. If you don't love them, why have them in the first place? You're responsible for them for their whole life. Not just a part of it.

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    If you’re wondering if comparing ourselves to others or competing against them plays a role in our tendency to judge people, the answer is yes—yes, it does—and quite a significant one, too.

    “We all have an identity that is composed of many aspects of ourselves – things like what we believe we are good at (like a sport, for instance), what social or cultural groups we affiliate with, behaviors—right or wrong—we feel are associated with our perception of who we are (for example, what is the ‘correct’ way a dad or a mom should act). These ‘self-schemas’ are another way we help speed up our processing and unconsciously help us decide how we should think, feel, or behave in a given situation,” Prof. Oberleitner said.

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    “We compare ourselves to others to help speed up our cognitive processing – if I see someone who looks like me, or is dressed like me, or is a similar age to me, for example, it helps me make quick automatic judgments on how they might act and how I should act toward them.

    “Again, this happens unconsciously mostly, and we trade accuracy for speed of processing,” the expert noted. “Social psychology research has found that those who we view as more different than us, we also tend to notice more things about them that we will perceive as negative (or inversely, ignore things we might otherwise negatively judge in those who we perceive as more similar to us).”

    #6

    A person holding a smartphone in a crowd, wearing a gray sweater, engaging in a public setting. Taking a phone call by speaker phone.
    I automatically think the person is selfish and trash.

    mmazing-m , Heather McKean Report

    #7

    Heavy traffic at night, with cars lined up on a busy street, illustrating things people judge others for. Switching lanes without the blinker.

    Express-Recording-34 Report

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    William Teach
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Big pet peeve. Put it on. It's called a signal because it signals your intention. Then you have the ones who put it on after they are already braking. Little late, pal!

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    #8

    Person applying a face mask while recording themselves, highlighting things people judge others for in beauty routines. The aspects of their private life they share on social media.

    DeathValleyOrb , Andrej Lišakov Report

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    “Competition can definitely play a role too,” Prof. Oberleitner continued. “Research has found that when we perceive others as a threat, or we feel we are in competition with them for limited resources, we are more likely to make negative judgments. Those ‘resources’ could be real or imagined, and could be things like food and water or even access to jobs or social praise.

    “Competition pushes us to see ways that others are more different than us, and can create more perceptions of in-groups and out-groups. This can then lead to someone making more negative judgments and noticing more negative behaviors in those we feel are outside of our own groups.”

    #9

    Two men at an outdoor market, one trying on a green coat, while surrounded by various clothing items, silently judged by style. Being mean to other people for enjoying things, like brightly colored clothes, piercings, or sweatpants. I mean, I might be more comfortable in earth toned dress clothes, but to each their own. Stop tearing other people down for ENJOYING C**P. .

    Goddaughterofthe60s , Fellipe Ditadi Report

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    Jaq Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of middle school where my dad forced me to wear bright clothes because the dark colored clothes that I wanted to wear to just blend in (because middle school) were “making me and everyone around me depressed”

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    #10

    Shopping carts neatly arranged in a row, an example of things people judge others for when left unreturned. Not putting their shopping cart back.

    No-Sun-7878 , Markus Spiske Report

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    James016
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the UK have to put a coin in the trolley to use it, you get the coin back when you return it.

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    Discussing the role our environment plays in regards to us judging others, Dr. Oberleitner suggested that if we can create the perception that someone is outside of our social group, negative judgments and increased in-group biases are more likely.

    “If you can create an environment that makes people feel there are more limited resources available or create perceptions of more threats to their well-being, research supports that negative judgements may increase. The same can be true when we are uncomfortable and in stressful situations—we start to prioritize fast thinking over accurate thinking and may become more judgmental,” he explained.

    #12

    Person reading a book on a couch, wearing casual clothes, representing things people secretly judge others for. People who take pride in never reading a book after high school.

    Chumlee1917 , Sincerely Media Report

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    Mr.Mister
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone i know said this once:" If they want me to read a book, than they shoukld make a video game about it! I don't have time to stare all day long on some paper." But he have the time to stare all day long on his smartphone.....

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    #13

    Person in a subway car, wearing a blue shirt and dark jacket, focused on their phone, representing secret judgment scenarios. Watching a video/listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks without headphones in public. Same goes for speakerphone and for having a phone call where you’re talking very loudly. 

    Not training their dogs. If your dog is so out of control that you have to physically keep it from lunging at someone who’s literally just walking past, you have a problem. (If your dog is just trying to say hi that’s fine).

    FamineArcher , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    Family's_disappointment
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most dogs are genuinely nice, until they sense danger around them (wheather it's a person or the surrounding)

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    #14

    Hands being washed under a running tap, representing personal hygiene, a common aspect people judge others for. Not washing their hands enough/at all after using the bathroom.

    Repulsive-Main1878 , Anna Shvets Report

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    CaptainBungonia
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How quickly society forgot "The Preachings of Covid19". Although to be fair, many of these lazy pigs didn't wash their filthy hooves pre-Covid19.

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    “We also tend to match the behaviors of those around us,” the expert continued. “If we see an increase in judgement of others by the people around us as more common or appropriate, we are more likely to follow those social norms and behaviors too. Conversely, if you can create a situation that helps connect people and emphasizes shared aspects of our identities, we become less apt to notice negatives in others.”

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    #15

    Two people in a cozy setting discussing things people secretly judge others for, sitting with a laptop nearby. Having zero situational awareness.

    Sea-Egg5843 Report

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    CaptainBungonia
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This particular one bugs me in shopping malls. Mobile phone muppets reach the top of the travelator and just stop dead, blocking the way for those behind. I've barged through so many of these imbeciles I've lost count. And don't they act hurt and offended when those around them call them out !

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    #17

    Child crying on a man's shoulder, evoking themes of things people secretly judge others for in parenting. How they parent. It’s very hard to ignore when kids are involved.

    ExtensionExcellent55 , Phil Nguyen Report

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    Breadcrumb.
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a good thing to care enough about how a child is being treated

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    If you find yourself being needlessly judgmental towards others—and you wish you weren’t—don’t you fret, as there are things you can do to change your ways. “One of the primary ways to become less judgmental is to always remind yourself to think about the situation you are currently in and give yourself a chance to override snap, automatic judgements,” Prof. Oberleitner noted.

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    “Although our brain emphasizes speed over accuracy in creating our social perceptions, we can overcome that by reminding and training ourselves to think through the situation we are in when making social judgments.

    “We may have an immediate judgement when seeing someone or some behavior, but we can try these three techniques to override our more automatic judgments,” the expert suggested. “Firstly, we can look for areas of overlapping identity with the other person. This allows us to empathize with them and reduce automatic judgement.

    “Secondly, we can take the time to reflect on situational factors that might influence the behavior we are seeing from another person before making a judgement,” Prof. Oberleitner continued. “And thirdly, we can catch ourselves when we are making a negative judgement about another person and remind ourselves to slow down and consider other ways to perceive the individual.

    “The more we practice these three approaches, the more we may be able to overlook small parts of a person we do not appreciate or find we are making negative judgments about.”

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    #18

    Group chatting in an office, one man holding a coffee cup, illustrating social interactions people secretly judge others for. Gossiping about others. That tells me they’d gossip about me too.

    Ilovebeingdad , Thriday Report

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    Averysleepypanda
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree with this one only because I truly believe everyone gossips. I'd actually go as far to say that the people who claim not too are usually the biggest offenders.

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    #20

    People reading books in a church setting, symbolizing private judgments in social contexts. When they treat their religion like fact. believe what you want, but if you can’t recognize that your religion has the same chance of being correct as the other thousands of religions in the world then i simply cant trust your judgement.

    Certain_Meeting_6612 , Andrej Lišakov Report

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    Deborah
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem here is when people try to convert you to their religion, or insist that your religion is wrong, or anything along those lines. I don't want to listen to what random people are shouting about their beliefs being better than any other belief.

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    #22

    Two people engaging happily outdoors, holding notebooks, discussing judgments. How loud they are. I don't like people who don't have an indoor voice.

    IdkGlx , Zen Chung Report

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    Timothy Jor
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof if that bothers you, you'd hate visiting Greece or any other south european country. We are loud! All my foreign friends have pointed this out to me and said it made a big (and kinda negative) impression to them. It's constant in cafes, restaurants, buses, beaches even hospitals and public service agencies, everyone yells while talking and also moving their arms/hands/head around for extra emphasis.

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    #23

    Student in a library, wearing headphones and writing, while others study quietly nearby. Thinking that they're so cool when they are mean to people, especially at school. And not even blatantly mean...even just if you, for example, try and catch a ball in PE and you drop it. They'll be like haha its okay, but you see them laughing to their friends out of the corner of your eye. It f*****g pisses me off because the meanest people are considered popular most of the time...it's just a bunch of b******t because they just lie and manipulate and cause so much drama to get to the top, and people are too scared to say something because they make people feel like s**t.

    It is not cool to make people feel like s**t.

    veronica_doodlesss , Getty Images Report

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    reuben kift
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More often than not, they'll peak at secondary/high school. And those that continue that behaviour well in to adulthood will eventually be exposed as a liar and manipulator and will be ostracized for such behaviour.

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    #24

    Man sitting in a church pew with colorful stained glass windows in the background, reflecting judgment theme. Sharing religious posts but having a horrible personality.

    Frosty_Interest_6740 , Karl Fredrickson Report

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    Shane S
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bible versus in an email signature usually indicates a person is a total nightmare to work with.

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    #25

    A woman and child walking on a boardwalk at sunset, casting long shadows, related to secret judgments. I have mixed feelings about this, but it's when I see a parent constantly shouting at their kids (even when they're still baby) and being loud and negative, especially when it happens in public transport.

    Derervmnatvra , Tim Mossholder Report

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    Shane S
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yelling is bad enough but it’s cursing at the child that seals it for me. I see it more in lower income families but things like ‘sit your a** down!’ or using the F word to emphasize commands. Teaches your kid that acting out of anger is ok.

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    #27

    Person holding a child in a field at sunset, both facing the horizon. How they treat my kid who has special needs.I unapologetically judge people who are unkind. That behavior speaks volumes to me.

    RunningInCali , Daria Obymaha Report

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just like the dad hwo blamed his autistic son for the speeding ticket he god, I mean got, because of beeing late. 😵‍💫 (another post here on BP recently)

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    #28

    Person holding a smartphone on a gimbal in a casual outdoor setting, wearing sunglasses and a tie-dye shirt. People living their lives through their phone camera. Like, you're at a concert and instead of watching it, you record it to watch later. Why??
    You watch a beautiful moment and record it to watch later. Why?? Just put down your f*****g phone and EXPERIENCE it!!

    Pers_Akkedis , I'm Zion Report

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    "Disembodied voice"
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just get a couple photos then put your phone away. More annoyed by people blocking the view by holding their phones up.

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    #30

    A woman and child on a sofa looking at a phone, engaging in a moment of judgment-free relaxation. When they treat their kids like social media accessories. They don't actually parent. They just post their kids every move and every thought and every everything on social media. Actually I'm not so sure I secretly judge that part. I'm pretty open about it.

    Fresh_Distribution54 , Andrej Lišakov Report

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    john doe
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thoes chickens will come home to roost, there already have been law suits over this when the kids become 18 and there will be more. We can only hope that people stop doing it because they understand they can get sued one day.

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    #31

    Person holding a wallet with cash and cards, illustrating things people secretly judge others for. How they spend their money. Don't complain you have no money and don't get paid enough when you told me last week you ordered door dash everyday for every meal. 🙄.

    FuckoryFuckisz87 , EVG Kowalievska Report

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    Jaq Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a friend like that. First off she received a large inheritance. She bought a house and put a certain amount in savings as an emergency fund. And she does work. These are all smart decisions. But then to complain and actually cry to her friends that are all deeply struggling right now that she is “so broke!” It actually really hurts. She goes out of town every weekend and takes as many days off work as she can, eats out every meal, buys whatever clothes she sees that she might desire to wear one day. Meanwhile I’m sitting here having to plan two weeks ahead to buy my son a new sweatshirt. I just want her to stop rubbing it in.

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    #32

    Person driving at night, surprised expression, red light, highlighting things people secretly judge others for. Road rage

    Sure, its annoying seeing stupid drivers. But why get pissed off and start swearing about it. Especially hate people who follow other drivers just to have a shouting match or sometimes a fight.

    Wow you got cut off, or somone overtook you. Who cares. Just get on with your day. Don't go to prison over driving a car


    I guess also people who drink and drive or speed in general. If they only ever hurt themselves I wouldn't care. But too many times you see families being killed because one twat didn't care.

    k8blwe , Sherman Trotz Report

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    #33

    Having an imperialistic mentality. They do everything right. Everyone else is doing it wrong. “I would have done it this way” trying flex trivial/boring information. Bragging about how they have better s**t than you.

    Slugginator_3385 , Andrej Lišakov Report

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    Lilly Rapson
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And every thing they have is litteral trash bilding up that they dont need

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    #35

    Rows of black dumbbells in a gym, a common subject of secret judgment among fitness enthusiasts. Not re-racking weights at the gym.

    Bpcpa1984 , Pixabay Report

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    Loudawg76
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or not wiping down equipment after using. That pisses me off soooo much

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    #36

    Two women chatting at a table with a laptop, possibly discussing things people secretly judge others for. Conversation skills.

    If they're quiet or shy that's fine, I get it, I'm an introvert and fairly private. But if they are dominating the conversation with constant talk of only themselves and not contributing in a meaningful way, I am absolutely judging.

    CheshireAsylum , Resume Genius Report

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    #37

    People boasting their body counts and the conquests they've had.

    Super cringe.

    purple-nomad Report

    #38

    “What’s One Thing You Secretly Judge People For?” (30 Answers) I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and when I'm in meetings there's always one person who shows up talks about their "war stories," how many times they've been to jail, how many times they OD, and how many substances they have to consume in order to be unresponsive. It's like they're glorifying their addiction, and I try my best to have compassion but with this particular type of person I find it exceedingly difficult.

    karmens_a_bitch , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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    Emma S
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in AA and I don't mind hearing the 'war stories.' It reminds me of the places addiction can take me, and the chaos that it brings. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so not everyone who attends and shares is sober. Also, the newcomer who is still drinking or in early recovery will likely be able to identify more with the 'war stories' than with someone who has many years of sobriety.

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    #39

    Fishing for praise. I pretend not to notice their “discreet” begging for compliments and keep moving the convo forward. Preferably away from their favorite topic — themselves lol.

    LittleGreyMouse56 Report

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    Ka Se
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did brag about the gingerbread house I have made with my kid this year. I know it is ridiculous but I really think it looks neat. 😁

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    #40

    Family smiling together outdoors, demonstrating things people judge others for, like appearance and fashion choices. Having too many kids.

    therackage , Josue Michel Report

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    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's government subsidies for families having three or more children here. They don't discriminate by income, so those religious nuts with 11 kids get not only the subsidies but also tax exemptions and heavy discounts in everything from university fees to groceries and so forth. I've always advocated for helping families from the first child and remove the aid from the 4th kid or so. If you want to birth your own football team is only fair that you pay for it.

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    #41

    Piercing their babies ears. I know it’s sometimes cultural but it’s just so trashy to me.

    Face_with_a_View Report

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    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like nose piercings on anyone. It's such a blatant look at me move when half the time that stud looks like a booger.

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    #43

    Person taking a photo with a smartphone at an outdoor event, subtle judgment in people's expressions around. Brand names they are always flashing.

    Gettinbetterin , Brett Sayles Report

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    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn it Brand Names! How many times do we have to arrest you for flashing people!

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    #45

    Using "seen" instead of "saw". Example: "I seen that car the other day".

    G00DDRAWER Report

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    Deborah
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a commercial for an auto protection plan where one person says "and we never seen the bill" and it's like fingernails on a blackboard every time.

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    #46

    Woman walking outdoors, focused on her phone, holding a shopping bag; example of things people judge others for. Responding in the group chat but ignoring my individual texts.

    ashley21093 , Pixabay Report

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    Sandella
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes you don't have the energy to enter a full on 1:1 conversation.with someone, when it can take 2 seconds to drop a comment on a group chat. I'm mindful of this but sometimes it has to be done, especially when said person is a time hogger with their incessant messaging. People should be allowed to respond to messages when they want and not expected to be 100% available all the time.

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    #48

    Adding salt to food before tasting it.

    OkWeight6234 Report

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    Ann Jeppesen
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately I'm guilty of that. It's such a bad habit, I'm aware of it and getting better at tasting before I add salt.

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    #49

    Woman typing on a laptop, hands with red nails, subtly reflecting judgmental perceptions. Spelling “lose” as “loose”.

    Datbooiii , Pixabay Report

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    Ann Jeppesen
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They might not have English as their first language. I've mixed them up before. But I also live in Denmark.

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    #50

    Using retractable leashes for their dogs. Especially on busy roads. Good way to get your dog smoked by a car when they run into the road and there’s no tension to stop them….

    kkhill_44 Report

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    "Disembodied voice"
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a retractable leash for my dog but it can lock. I always set it shorter around people and roads.

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    #52

    A busy street crowded with diverse people walking, highlighting things people secretly judge others for. Whistling in public. For some reason it just really pisses me off.

    Bargadiel , Cameron Casey Report

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    Abdullah Abd Rahman
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's ok if it's not too loud - and especially not on public transport. Happy people whistle.

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    #53

    Their music taste.

    SlapDatBassBro Report

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    Egg
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being judgemental about other people's taste in music seems more like the problem

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    #54

    How they like their steak. If it's more than medium well, I'm Judgy McJudgerson.

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    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't try to judge other people in their food choices or how they like their food cooked. We are all different and all like different food and cooked all are own way.

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