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So many things, including detrimental ones, can seem “cool” or desirable in the movies. For instance, nostalgia over a long-lost love, encouraging the main character to fight for said love time and again, or the melancholy that overtakes one’s mind after a night of drinking and chain-smoking cigarettes.
In reality, neither is actually cool; the first scenario is someone balancing on the thin line between being a romantic and a stalker and the second one, well, that’s no fun in real life, so it probably shouldn’t be romanticized, either. Be that as it may, many things are romanticized by people, despite them being pretty awful in real life.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such awful things that people tend to romanticize after one user started a thread about it, and their answers compiled quite an extensive list. If you’re curious to learn what awful things they pointed to, scroll down to find the question that started the discussion and the netizens’ thoughts below.
On the list below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a clinical psychologist, author, wellness coach, and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about how romanticizing detrimental things can affect our well-being and our relationships.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Reuniting estranged families. Usual tropes "they love you really" "but she's your mother". Irrelevant. S****y people are s****y people and just because they're FaMiLy doesn't mean you have to have them in your life.
Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
Going no contact with my very twisted, abusive family was one of the most painful things I ever did. But once I got away from their warped thinking it was like coming out of a cult. I never felt so free and safe and happy. Sometimes when I start to feel bad that the house or car aren't nice enough, I remind myself- but I don't have to live with those people. And I'm filled with joy, relief, and gratitude all over. Anytime someone hears my story they say "I'm sorry you had to go through that." My response- "But do you know what's amazing! I'm not there anymore! It makes me so glad I'm out of that situation." I encourage low or no contact if the family is twisted or abusive.
Black Cat 12 months ago
Families can be the biggest abusers and bullies and it's all hidden behind close doors. I dont have anything to do with most of my family and the sense of liberation has been transformative.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 12 months ago
I absolutely HATE the media trope of 'but you have to forgive them because FAMILY." NO. ABOSLUTELY NO. Forgiveness has to be earned, and only the person injured can decide what will earn it. And, even if they choose to forgive, that does not mean you then have to let them back into your life.
Tommy DePaul 12 months ago
You forgive for yourself. But you set boundaries and you definitely don't forget.
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Alexia 12 months ago (edited)
Ads are excessively showing how to spend holidays with your "loved ones" - where the "loved ones" are laughing, smiling, hugging families who seem mentally healthy. If you look closer, you'll see the smiles are fake and the gestures exaggerated for the camera. If your loved ones are abusive, toxic, narcissist people - it's your right (and even duty) to STAY AWAY from them.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Putting estranged family members in the same room does nothing to change the reasons they're estranged.
RELATED:
#2
Mental illness. People want it as an "aesthetic" but it's actually a living hell being at war with your own mind.
Becca not Becky 12 months ago
I see it being used less as an aesthetic and more as an excuse. I have my own diagnoses (from professionals), so I'm not discounting that mental illness is real, but I think a lot of people are grasping at the straws for a diagnosis to explain harmless quirks and to make excuses for less desirable behavior.
Ace 12 months ago
Yes, this. It's not my fault I'm a complete Asshat, it's my ADHD.
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Renée Parry 12 months ago
Makes it harder when people say I'm using it as a excuse. Nothing is glamorous about mental problems.
Michelle C 12 months ago
Yup; it’s neither cute nor funny to be living in torment from your own mind at any given moment and knowing that the causes are often beyond your control (heredity) is especially painful. Thank God for supportive loved ones and access to proper treatment when one can get it!
Eevi 12 months ago
Yep. I've been suffering from OCD my whole life, although it wasn't diagnosed until 2022. Now I've been really working with it for 2 years (therapy, medication other than just antidepressants, lots of really hard 'programming'. And I'm so exhausted. It's currently 6 am in Christmas morning and I'm lying in bed grinding my teeth and listening the sounds and images of me being thia completely useless and 'wrong' person. I don't wish for this for anyone. Anyway, happy holidays, and I hope your day goes well and you are happy! Thanks for reading.
Birgit M 12 months ago
All the best to you from someone else fighting OCD! We'll get through this! <3
Load More Replies... Deborah 12 months ago
Yup. Lots of professionally diagnosed issues here. Using mental health as an excuse is unforgivable. And why anyone would want to claim this is beyond me. So many people faking things like this just make it harder for anyone who really suffers, and I mean suffers, from these problems, to be accepted for what it really is.
Littlemiss 12 months ago
I think they're referring to the ones that claim oh it's my OCD, or my ADHD brain kicking in in a joking tone. My mother thinks everyone has depression and it's just people being a bit down. Not a gut wrenching, suicidal idealation consumed mental illness that doesn't go away each day because you woke up.
Load More Replies... #3
The past. It wasn’t better. It had its own difficulties and good things. Different. I’m a fan of air conditioning and musicals and ebooks.
G00DDRAWER:
You want to live in Renaissance Italy? Enjoy the disease, and odors. I'll stay here with penicillin and plumbing.
StrangeOne 12 months ago (edited)
Most of us would be paupers or working class, making a decent but still a tough life, working 5 to 6 days a week, sunrise to sunset, for pennies a day, as minimum wage didn't exist, neither safe work standards. On Sunday, your only day off, you're waking early for church, that you would be expected to go to. If you're not mutilated or killed at work, you got a terminal illness. See, people didn't live long back then, because not many survived long enough to live to old age. You will also not like the dentistry and surgery practices, either.
Guy Bare 12 months ago
"Ohhh dear Lord, you're sneezing !!! I am so sorry you are going to die ! "
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ॐBoyGanesh 12 months ago (edited)
When people (particularly western cultures) speak of “traditional” ways, they’re not speaking of how it once was. They’re referring to ideals some, likely few, ever obtained. They’re speaking of highly compartmentalized & fleeting notions that didn’t exist for many and didn’t actually sustain for any marked period of time. They’re not considering the amount of marginalization & subjugation the vast majority experienced. “Traditional” is often a fantasized & massively inaccurate lens with which to look at the past. When someone says they wish things now were like a specific long gone era, they’re generally speaking of the most myopic variable of said time & assume that piece ed would create an overall benefit for them.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago
A friend of mine once said that life couldn't have been worse a hundred years ago. I pointed out that my sister and I would've likely died before 5 years old because we were both prone to strep throat, and if we managed to live through that, then I would've been disabled simply by extreme myopia because the materials to make my glasses prescription simply didn't exist yet.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
I would have died age 3. My mother would have died giving birth to my brother who would have died just before her.
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keyboardtek 12 months ago
Conservative Christians want to take us back to the days when women were 100% controlled by their husbands. Men fail to realize the extra stress it puts on them to be the tough guy in charge all the time and make decisions for the whole family. Probably one reason so many men of that era had heart attacks in their 50's.
Emma S 12 months ago
Oh yeah let's go back to a time when women weren't allowed to work, own property or go to university and existed purely to marry and have children. When there was a good chance that you'd die in childbirth or the babies you had wouldn't see their fifth birthday. When you had no access to running water or heating so everyone smelled terribly and was forced to drink water that had faeces in it because no sewage system meant people went to the toilet in the street or in the river.
Mary August 12 months ago
I like modern healthcare. I would have had short painful life without it.
Talking about why some people and society as a whole tend to romanticize certain things, sometimes even those that can have a negative impact on them, clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Vermani noted that as human beings, we are social animals; and so the way we behave or the things we value can be significantly influenced by our environment and the people in it.
“From the day we are born, we begin to observe our environment, our caregivers, and family members. Toddlers and young children absorb it all – behaviors on the playground, in classroom settings, social gatherings.
“Throughout our lives, we take on roles in order to blend in, be accepted, and be part of social groups. Everything, from our personal appearance, the way we express ourselves, and our body language, is influenced by our environment and social group,” she noted.
“By the time we are adults, we’ve identified role models, goals, habits, and preferences. The way we interact with others, our attitude towards work and work-life balance, the degree of importance we place on material goods to define our worth and status, beauty standards, the value we place on security, what we look for, value, and expect from a romantic partner—the list is endless—are often heavily influenced by external factors.”
#4
Public proposals, or proposals at another person’s wedding. Just don’t.
Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
Tacky to put that sort of social pressure on the person you are proposing to.
Doctor Strange 12 months ago
Public proposals Can be good, IF you know for a fact that is what the person being proposed to wants. At Katsucon, we had a proposal at the formal ball, and the person being proposed to said it was her dream proposal. If you don't like it, that's fine, but some people do. Proposals at someone else's event, though, that is Always a no. Its ok to take center stage, so long as you aren't shoving someone else out of the spotlight.
Carrie Laughs 12 months ago (edited)
Even then... it's still pretty strange to me, really, that people want to do something so very personal in such a public manner. It's about their love. No one else's. It's between two people (generally speaking) and those two people only (again, generally speaking!). Why someone has a 'dream proposal' even? People get too caught up with the fripperies when it's the marriage that matters (a quality relationship), not the proposal and not the wedding. Each to their own, absolutely, but crikey humans do have some weird dreams about stuff that doesn't actually matter.
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ॐBoyGanesh 12 months ago
Saw a guy propose halftime at Levi’s stadium. The woman looked embarrassed & stressed. She was a deer in headlights at first. Best part was a group of rowdy guys started booing then others followed. A few tried to counter with woos & applause but it was drowned out by the boos. The dude proposing must have felt like a tool, but it seems she said yes. They nonchalantly walked back to their row hand in hand with closed mouth smiles.
Frances Pitchoune 12 months ago
Don't just propose. If you want to live with someone you love, you don't need to get married. I've been with the same man for 20 years 😊
Warren Peece 12 months ago
True fact: The surprise marriage proposal was invented by the diamond business as a promotion to sell more diamond engagement rings (before they were common).
Elladine DesIsles 12 months ago
I've had the unpleasant experience of being publicly proposed to. I said yes, because what else does one do in that moment? I was all of 19, and it made the newspaper. Fortunately for me, this was a little while before same-sex marriage became legal in Canada, so we couldn't have had a legal marriage (and inevitable horrific divorce) at the time anyway. Mind you, that was not even the most uncomfortable of the three proposals I've received, just the most exposed. Note that I've never been married and intend to keep it that way.
Tommy DePaul 12 months ago (edited)
Who publicly proposes where the marriage itself would be illegal? Was she otherwise stupid?
Load More Replies... #5
Tradwife ideology is running rampant online with out any consideration of how it actually was to be a housewife in the times they romanticize. It was awful. They don’t want to be 50s housewives, they want to play rich people pretend.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
Having to be up earlier than your husband to have breakfast ready on the table. Help get your husband ready for work and the kids, and you have to have already gotten ready for the day. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, organizing. Running errands. Supper has to be cooking by the time your husband comes home. The kids are picked up and doing their homework or doing their chores, playing, whining, crying. After a busy day, your husband waltzes into the living room and puts up his feet in front of the TV while you go back in the kitchen and dish up the meals into pretty serving dishes. Everyone is at the table, asking you to get them this and that. You finally sit down to eat as everyone is nearly finished their supper. After, you're stuck with handwashing all the dishes while your husband goes back to his armchair. Now it's time to get the kids ready for bed, bathed, teethbrushed, stories. Your husband gets ready for bed and starts complaining why certain things aren't clean, put away, etc.
Black Cat 12 months ago
You forgot about the risk of physical abuse because you're financially dependant on him and haven't got the resources to get away or the skills/relevant experience to support yourself and/or your children. Basically you're just a maid he can f**k.
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ॐBoyGanesh 12 months ago
This should be higher up. Can you imagine what happened to many women who transgressed by airing their private home life publicly? Even just within the neighborhood, much less community and definitely not globally. The results were often brutal with zero consequence for the husband. Also, no credit cards or checking account in her name, husband making medical decisions, & all life choices, needing his signature to do basic things. So much of it was incredibly oppressive & abusive to women. Like OP said, it’s privilege, women playing make believe. Only, nowadays if they don’t like playing anymore, they’re allowed to walk away.
Emma S 12 months ago
The tradwives you see on social media are not real tradwives, because if they were they wouldn't have time to film, edit and post these videos. These women are being paid for their content, which in itself means they're not tradwives as they wouldn't be making their own money and would be financially dependent on their husbands.
katiekat0214 12 months ago
Older woman here, and let me tell you: HAVE YOUR OWN MONEY ALWAYS. The couple of years I had to be dependent on first husband (married again, quite happily, and was married twice for 25 years total) were miserable. I had to beg him for grocery money. He questioned every purchase I made, then started criticizing, stonewalling, withholding. Of course I walked away, the moment I could afford to. It was not a marriage. Also, death, divorce, disability can happen in an instant, and you don't want to be left homeless and/or destitute. I could not agree with this more. The whole trad thing robs women of agency and personal power, and is toxic. RESIST.
Alecto76 11 months ago
I'm not a trad wife, I work and have my own money. Now when my husband is refusing to quit spending money, refusing to help me do home projects, refusing to participate in our marriage and household, and is staying up all night and sleeping all day on his days off getting nothing done, I am moving into my own apartment. He can fix himself or I am not coming back. I was so angry and frustrated for several years. If I was a trad wife, I would still be stuck there.
Bill 11 months ago (edited)
To me being a traditional wife means love, commitment, and honesty. Doesn't mean I don't have to help with kids or dishes, they are my kids and dishes too. If you want to pursue a career, good! More power to us, you do you babe, I love you. Just none of this threesome polyamorous b******t. That's weird and it will kill your relationship every damn time. If there is more than one d**k in the room thats too many. Unless you're gay then the rules are slightly different but love and commitment will remain traditional.
Trista JW 12 months ago (edited)
The butchering of perfectly fine words that have been used for many years is fvcking ridiculous. The terminology here appears to be a ridiculous portmanteau of "traditional wife." However, the full phrase that they are looking for is "traditional, 1940s - 1950s styled housewife." But they're refusing to admit or accept that those women were brow-beaten, frequently physically beaten and barely a step above being a servant. These stupid little girls are wanting to play dressup and have everything handed to them, without realizing that the women who were real 1940s - 1950s housewives were controlled, questioned, belittled and treated like complete sh!t.
Alan Barrington 12 months ago (edited)
They want to be a trad wife with lots of other trad wife friends and slaves.
“The romanticized ideal lives of hard-driving, high-earning senior executives, successful entertainers, perfect wives and mothers, glamourous, freedom-loving digital nomads, social media influencers, trendsetters, and sports legends are just that. They fail to reveal such life stories in their entirety. And they set standards for success, material wealth, and luxurious lifestyles that can leave some people feeling depressed, anxious, or disappointed in themselves,” Dr. Vermani continued.
“In recent years, our exposure to impossible standards has, for many people, become overwhelming. Spend a little time on social media, and you will be exposed to ‘influencers’ from all walks of life, living it up, working from exotic destinations, enjoying glamourous social lives, surrounded by luxuries, and making it all seem so easy.
“Many of these standards—including impossible beauty standards, a need or desire for a demanding career, the best car, a prestigious home, expensive furniture, designer handbags, shoes, jewelry, and clothing, costly exotic travel, and fine dining—are almost impossible to achieve. The reality is that even if we were to attain, acquire, or achieve them, we are likely to feel unfulfilled, empty, and perhaps in financial trouble. We could end up suffering from stress and burnout, and feel disconnected from our true authentic selves.”
#6
Harassing a woman to go on a date with you after she’s repeatedly turned you down. Real life isn’t like The Notebook.
Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
My son even sings this nursery song that encourages the boys to do this. B-do you like me a little bit? G-ew! No, not even a little bit. B-come on, you like me a little bit. G- not even a little bit. B- but you like me a little bit? G- OK, maybe a little bit. That's how we brain wash our men young. And teach our girls to play head games instead of being honest. I try to talk to him about the problems with the song. But he's 6. So he doesn't get it.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
The person you need to have a word with is whoever taught him that toxic pile of shít.
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StrangeOne 12 months ago
Cinema Therapy did analysis on The Notebook. It does not depict a healthy relationship at all.
ZuriLovesYou 12 months ago
I think anyone with two braincells would be able to deduce that it's not a healthy relationship.
Load More Replies... Warren Peece 12 months ago
The first time is an invitation. The second time is sexual harassment.
General Anaesthesia 12 months ago
No is no. "Baby it's cold outside" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MFJ7ie_yGU
Jihana 12 months ago
What I never understood: ok, so someone is forcing me to go on a date with them. Ok, I'll go, but noone ever said that it had to be a good date. If you force me you can bet I will make it as unpleasant as humanly possible for you. I will play on my phone, insult you and embarrass you in front of everyone. You don't like it? Tough luck, neither do I.
Tamra 12 months ago
From one woman to another: it's OK to say no. If you really don't want to go on a date with someone, say NO. Unequivocally.
Load More Replies... #7
Big weddings - you spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and tons of stress all for show.
SwimmingAir8274:
For one day. You pay enough to put a down-payment on a house for one day...
That will never make sense to me.
The Cute Cat 12 months ago
Frugal marriage should be the norm. I do it 20 years ago, and still happy for it... We never had a debt, except for 3 years when we buy our house using developer credit scheme
#8
The fashion industry. It still actively celebrates dangerously thin bodies above all others. And spending thousands of dollars on a single outfit is kind of disgusting.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Fast fashion. Unsold and returned cheap clothing being discarded in the Atacama Desert in piles so large they're visible from orbit. And the governments that could put a stop to it do nothing. Anybody who buys from Shein or Temu or similar outlets is complicit. IMG_1574-6...f-jpeg.jpg 
keyboardtek 12 months ago
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." Oscar Wilde
Sebastian Marcell 11 months ago
Whoever said they celebrate dangerous thin bodies has never seen the new Victoria Secret runway
Ozymandias73 12 months ago
And the trends could be gone quicker than they appeared then you'd get lambasted for wearing yesterday's fashions.
Dog Mom to Zoe 12 months ago
I saw a document years ago about runway models and their feet. Their feet are so mangled from being in "too high' shoes.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
I've learned all designer clothing comes from the same garment factory.
ॐBoyGanesh 12 months ago (edited)
Mostly the ready to wear. Many pieces are hand made or one offs or custom designed. Not justifying haute couture, but there’s a huge difference between a vintage Valentino dress or exclusive Halston jumpsuit from a Vuitton handbag or Ferragamo jacket.
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Harry Gondalf 12 months ago
The fashion industry is dominated by effeminate homosexual males whose idea of a beautiful figure is that of a skinny pubescent boy.
Dr. Vermani noted that trying to reach all sorts of unattainable standards might leave us feeling discouraged, defeated, and less than others, consequently pushing us to spiral into low self-esteem and self-doubt.
“Low self-esteem, low self-worth, and self-doubt hinder our personal growth and limit our understanding, acceptance, and interactions with others. These limitations can lead to anxiety, depression, poor coping skills, and unhealthy behaviors and habits, like over-indulging in alcohol or drugs, overworking, and other choices that negatively impact their health and quality of life,” the expert said.
#9
Romeo and Juliet. They were teenagers who barely knew each other and they both ended up dead.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago
Yeah, they don't read the introduction that literally says it's a tragedy.
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Deborah 12 months ago
It was a romantic tragedy. And when people who say a guy is a Romeo when he dates many women makes no sense, Romeo was loyal for what little life he had left.
Sebastian Marcell 11 months ago
I think you forget he was absolutely, insanely in love with Juliet's cousin Rosalind and he promised eternal love to her like a day before meeting Juliet.... if he hadn't died he'd probably be dating Emma the next month.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 12 months ago
Same with the Joker/Harley romance. There is nothing romantic about abuse
John Dilligaf 12 months ago
barely teenagers at that. In the original play Juliet is specifically stated to be "not yet 14 " ; Romeo's age is a little more ambiguous, but he's typically assumed to be around 15-17 yrs old.
bbfa 11 months ago
Juliet was 13 or 14 and was being pressured that younger women were already mothers.
#10
High school.
Accomplished-Kale-77:
It literally irks me more than anything when I hear people say “high school is the best years of your life”
Just screams “I peaked in High school” to me.
Enuya 12 months ago
I wasn't a popular kid AND I didn't peak in high school - it was few years later. But high school was the best years of my life as it was the first school where I wasn't bullied and was accepted for who I am. It was also the last time in my life when I hadn't had to worry about money, bills, working, serious relationships and all the other scary adult things. I enjoy some freedoms that adult life gives me but high school WAS the best time of my life.
Load More Replies... Alexia 12 months ago
I hated high school period. I was isolated and bullied (by some teachers too); additionally, I was struggling with low income and domestic violence at home. I was on constant fight mode, like a hunted animal. But my former bullies are excited about that time :)))
Bill Evs 12 months ago
I had a very similar experience (minus the DV). Hated every second of school, made me feel utterly worthless as a human being and I only came into my own after I left and formed social circles with people I actually wanted to be around and respected me. Hence why I have never kept in touch with a single person I went to school with.
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Greenmantle 12 months ago
The whole concept of "peaked" is again reductionist and de-valuing b******t. Your life isn't ever worth less than it was. It just is. And you, just are.
Danielle 12 months ago
My mum said that to me as a reason that I shouldn't be sad about getting bullied. Because 'this is the best time of [my] life' and I should enjoy it. Top class advice as per usual mother.
Carrie Laughs 12 months ago
Wtf mum? Yeah, be great to enjoy it but if someone's being bullied it's pretty much a given that a) it's not enjoyable and b) someone should do something about it MUM. I am so sorry Danielle.
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 12 months ago
my take on this. In HS you are almost an adult. Typically you have many of the adult privileges, but not a lot of the adult responsibilities . For example- you may have a car, with the freedom of movement that brings, but you're not paying for it, or the insurance. Your parents are. ..... Likewise food, clothing, shelter, etc are provided for you. .... You may have a job, so you have spending money, but typically you aren't required to kick in for living expenses. ... Things like that is why HS years could be considered the "best years of your life".
Enlee Jones 12 months ago
If I knew then what I know now I would have dropped out of high school and got my GED. High school f*****g sucked and is useless.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
It's better to peak in high school than to flatline all your life. Besides, peaking is something that should be gotten out of the way while young - sort of like measles.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
Many of the popular, extroverted, and smarter kids thrived in high school. Most of the rest of us blossomed later in life. After going onto Facebook and reconnecting with those popular people, I have found most were not much more successful than the rest of us. And many of them have not grown much in their careers or artistic endeavors.
#11
Mafias.
They’re not classy criminals with a code. They’re criminal criminals no different from biker gangs (also a little romanticised) or d**g cartels.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
The most realistic, sobering thing mentioned on Mob Wives were the crack of dawn, police raids at the family homes, where all family members, including the youngest, are held at gun point. Kids are screaming and crying. They're the most innocent, as they did nothing wrong. Shame on the parents for bringing in little, innocent ones into their world of crime and trauma.
Giuseppe Palmisano 12 months ago
My grandfather was a Made Man in the New Orleans Mafia. Believe me, there's nothing "classy" about them. They're morons in expensive suits, and my dear old grand-dad was sleeping with everyone but my grandmother.
Warren Peece 12 months ago (edited)
Gotta watch out for those criminal criminals. They are the worst type of criminals.
zims 12 months ago
Ironically it was The Godfather that made the shift in mafia aesthetic, mob guys liked how classy and cool it was and started imitating it.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
The Godfather was inspired by real life mobsters, such as Bugsy and Frank Costello. Heck, Al Capone was doing the classy dressed gangster thing decades before The Godfather.
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Der Kommissar 12 months ago
The Mafia does have a code. Don't rat out anyone else in the Mafia.
Unsurprisingly, romanticizing all sorts of detrimental things can influence not only our own well-being, but our relationships, too. Asked about the role such romanticizing can have on our relationships, Dr. Vermani emphasized that the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves, so it’s important to stay true to ourselves without reaching for some romanticized scenario.
“When we turn away from our authenticity and fail to relate authentically to our partner or take on romanticized roles, we are essentially trying to be someone we are not, and deserting our authentic selves in the process,” the clinical psychologist said.
“When we allow external influences about what a relationship should be, the role or roles we should take on, how we should behave, what we expect from our partner, and other behaviors, and relationship dynamics that are inauthentic to who we truly are to set the rules, standards, and goals of our relationships, we are setting ourselves up for conflict, disappointment, and failure.”
#12
When women are kids they are told boys have a crush on them if they’re mean to them.
This leads to women being in awful relationships.
Katie Allen 12 months ago
I wonder if the teachers who told me this garbage were in abusive relationships.
Bonesko 12 months ago
Probably, maybe. But they were probably told the same garbage
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 12 months ago
The Australian government has an ad campaign that includes this. They want to re/educate parents about helping their children avoid unrealistic/toxic relationships. They were pretty powerful ads in my opinion.
camomooey 12 months ago
Sometimes it's true. But the boys who are being mean do it because they haven't been taught any other kind way to relate to girls. Or they are ashamed of their feelings, for one reason or another, and take it out on the girl.
Maim 8 months ago (edited)
But... it's true? Boys aren't taught to be mean to impress a girl. It's the toolbox they know at that age. What gets mom's attention most? When I'm "bad". And teasing is their way of not letting their friends know they like a girl. I really don't see the future abuse in this. I know I didn't automatically expect a terrible relationship because the boy that liked me in 3rd grade was a jerk.
Corrine Sherratt 11 months ago
Add to this the fact that girls are taught their whole lives to be careful around boys because boys apparently can't stop themselves from assaulting girls but when women are actually assaulted, those same people don't believe them 🙄
Anne Young 11 months ago
Women are never kids. Someone can't be both biologically and physically a child and an adult that's just weird. The word is 'girls*.
john doe 11 months ago
I mean I did pull this girl's hair a bunch when I was in 4th grade cuz I had a crush on her, but I didn't understand that I just wanted her attention, it is some what true and doesn't mean that you're abusive.
AsylumWalker 11 months ago
Its absolutely abusive behaviour. Your intent doesnt change that
Load More Replies... #13
"You have to love yourself before anybody else can love you" is some of the most toxic garbage. I'm so tired of hearing it.
Sometimes, especially if you have a history of being abused, it's really hard to love yourself. Like, you just don't know how. People have to show you the way. Yeah, I mean it's ultimately up to you to do the deep inner work but other people can be the lighthouse you need to get there.
People don't heal in isolation through individualism. I don't believe in love because of a self-help book, a podcast, some IG influencer guru. I believe in love because my friends chose me to be part of their family, my grandmother made sure I had food and help with my homework when my single mom worked nights, my husband didn't leave when I was in the trenches of mental illness, because animals and total strangers have shown me kindness and care when I felt ugly and unlovable, and because of how the beauty found in the natural world is made from the same stardust as me 💖.
JSD 12 months ago
It's hard to find self-worth or self-love when you're told how much you suck on a daily basis.
Doctor Strange 12 months ago
I grew up knowing I was worthless. I'm the family dissapointment. My friends, its like pulling teeth to get them to spend time with me. I don't celebrate my birthday, or plan any events anymore, because inevitably I'd pour my heart and soul into planning only to get the "Oh I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead". No amount of 'loving myself' will change the overwhelming evidence that I'm simply not wanted. All I want is to find that one person who chooses me. Not settles for me because that's all they can get, but looks around the room and picks me. THAT is the only thing that will help me
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 12 months ago
I always post this where appropriate, it says it much better than I ever can: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
Ace 12 months ago
You've clearly had/got some problems, but I think you're misinterpreting the phrase. The basic tenet of the saying is simply that you won't get anywhere by bending over backwards to try and meet other people's perceived expectation if you don't look after your own needs first.
Sami-Jo Ross 11 months ago
I was in a relationship with someone who methodically broke down my self worth to the point where I ended up with a diagnosis of anxiety and manic depression. Ten years later, I'm still trying to learn how to love myself and remind myself that I am worthy of love. Even though I'm engaged I always feel like my partner deserves more and that I'm not worthy of her affections. It's not easy to heal, it's a rough road, but I'm taking little steps and getting back up if I trip.
The Cute Cat 12 months ago
The statement not 100% false, though.. Being able to accept just who you are is one big key to happiness and of ten you have to achieve that before finding someone that able to see shine on yourself
Anne Young 11 months ago
You can't see shine on yourself. That makes no sense.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 12 months ago
When it comes to looking at yourself, hope is always better than love - and more useful.
#14
Fighting a lot with your partner.
No, it's not "passionate", it's quite often just straight up abuse from one or both parties.
ॐBoyGanesh 12 months ago
I used to be slightly insecure that my husband and I never fight or argue. I’ve heard time and again that all couples do this and it’s a sign of a healthy relationship that each partner is highly invested it. It caused me to question just a wee bit. We disagree with each other, but we talk & listen & consider & respect. Also, our love, comfort & joy in each other is that we enthusiastically compromise should the need arise. Why would anyone want to fight with the person they love most & who brings them utter joy? It’s not passionate to do so and it’s an inauthentic means of expressing investment & participation.
Nina 12 months ago
Honestly, it sounds like you've got the golden formula down pat. Keep it up like that :)
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Tim Douglass 12 months ago
In almost 40 years my wife and I have had 1 or maybe 2 actual arguments. We don't always agree, but we are able to discuss things nicely, and in truth we probably agree about 95% of the time anyway. Not everyone ends up in such a perfect match.
Mae 11 months ago
My ex broke up with me because he said we never fight, and that it's a bad sign because it shows we have no passion in our relationship. This was his first serious relationship. I was devastated. As someone who's been in a few relationships, I saw us not fighting as a good thing. We always had a great time together and could talk about our issues or frustrations in a calm and understanding way. I thought our passion came from loving each other and the joy and time we got to spend together. He clearly felt very different. It was heartbreaking to lose that relationship.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
Many times fighting occurs because one side of the relationship is a perfectionist who cannot tolerate lesser humans. They know the only one correct way to do something and have to constantly criticize the other person if they do not do something that one perfect way. ( Speaking from experience sadly.)
As with most situations, there is a way to get out of it, if you feel that romanticizing certain scenarios is clouding your judgment or making life needlessly difficult. Talking about ways to do that, Dr. Vermani summed up that the best cure for such situations is authenticity, and luckily, there are ways you can connect with your authentic self.
“We owe it to ourselves to be our authentic selves! We are all unique. We have a unique combination of attributes, abilities, attitudes, capabilities, and preferences. We suffer a great deal when we abandon our authentic selves. The antidote to inauthenticity is, of course, authenticity,” the expert told Bored Panda.
“The question is: How can we step away from impossible external role modeling and standards, and connect with our authentic selves? The answer: work on improving our EQ (emotional intelligence).”
#15
The "bad boy" BF.
Such-Anything-498:
I went on a date with a guy, and I could tell that he was trying to come off as a bad boy. We went to the same college, so all I could think was "We are both too old for this 😐" We did not go on another date.
PositionFar26:
I blame Hollywood for glamorizing it with hunky men in leather jackets
StrangeOne 12 months ago
These types of guys don't really care about you. They just like having you around for their image. Plus, they're more likely to be too rough in bed.
Nina 12 months ago
They can still be good in bed, but they're not interested in more than a connection or situationship.
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Enlee Jones 12 months ago
Edward Cullen and Christian Grey. They aren't not dashing and romantic. They are creepy, abusive a******s.
Sarah Jones 12 months ago
I tried reading Fifty Shades of Grey and it was the exact opposite of what I find appealing, total turn-off
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
When I see girls going for guys like this, it just reminds me of a lot of animal behavior where the females are drawn to who they deem to be the alpha, the biggest, toughest male. We should be better than that.
#16
Cheating for their “soulmate”. In movies, and often in real life, people will be in a relationships when they find “the one who gets them”. Doesn’t matter how s****y the current partner is that’s literally cheating either way.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
"The heart wants what the heart wants" is just a shítty attempt to justify lying and cheating.
Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
Ugh, this is one of many reasons why I hate most rom coms. So many of them glorify this behavior.
TribbleThinking 12 months ago (edited)
Exactly this! There is an old black and white film with the title "Brief Encounter" or suchlike, that was promoted as so very romantic. I was horrified when I watched it. The woman was so totally trying to be unfaithful!
The Cute Cat 12 months ago
Neighbors lawn is always looks greener.. But be grateful of what you have is always the key to happiness
GlitterPanda 11 months ago
If you think you're going to cheat, it is time to leave your relationship.
#17
Being a world-famous celebrity.
Every word and action of yours is monitored and judged, and you will be surrounded by people trying to use you and get you into shady stuff.
All the while the masses show endless adoration for the persona you hold that's not the real you, but the one you and/or your agency created to continue to appeal to your fanbase and keep your job.
The celebrity industry has allowed some very good people to do very good things, but has eaten up and spat out most of the people that come near it.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 12 months ago
I've always said that fame isn't the prize to be won, but the price to be paid.
Edda Kamphues 12 months ago
I have a famous partner and it sucks. The secrecy is insane. As is the control from external agencies.
Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
And, if you’re famous and rich enough, you can always find some greedy person who will say yes to any bad idea you have and help you wreck your life.
Sophia Athene 11 months ago
Abuse me all you like but I would be a celebrity so that I never worry about paying exorbitant doctor and hospital bills, never worry about paying my mortgage month to month, and I never have to fear my husband or myself losing a job and how that would blow up our finances.
“What exactly is EQ? Our IQ (intelligence quotient) is a measurement of our knowledge of the outer world, how it works, and how we reason with the world and solve outer-world problems,” Dr. Vermani noted.
“Apply this definition to your inner world, and you are on your way to understanding the meaning of emotional intelligence. EQ is a measure of how well we know and understand our inner selves, our feelings, what makes us tick, and how well we comprehend and interact with others.”
#18
Living in a van.
one_pound_of_flesh:
People think it is camping on the pacific coast and surfing with your hot girlfriend, sleeping in an insta worthy VW van.
In reality it is peeing in a milk jug and parking at Walmart.
Claire Elise 12 months ago
Have you ever had a VW van? Me neither, but I know people who have; there's nothing insta worthy about it, they're most often parked at the mechanic's
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keyboardtek 12 months ago
A week living out of a van taught me that doing it in a large RV is the only way I would do that again.
zims 12 months ago
Rich people ran out of neighborhoods to gentrify so they took it on the road, gentrifying homelessness. Of course living in a van is nice if you pour enough money into it, and if you have enough money to afford a hotel room if things get too rough and you want a real shower. Being able to afford gas to GO to all those photogenic spots instead of being stuck wherever you ran out.
Roberta Surprenant 12 months ago
Don't forget the engine going out and needing a few thousand $$ for repairs, leaving you stranded in the middle of Nevada (experienced it a couple of times)
Greenmantle 12 months ago
It's not for everyone, but works well for some. There are challenges to both renting a place and life on the road
Reset Game 12 months ago (edited)
It's different for different people. Some people love living in a condo or an HOA or in a micro apartment and claim it's the best thing ever but for other people it's a form of hell. The same thing is true for living in a van. Not everyone pees in a milk, jug or parks at Walmart all the time. My first home on Wheels was in a super old Ford van that definitely did not look like he was worth breaking into. Inside was different and I only parked at Walmart between cities, going from one camping spot to another. But they are definitely bums, scam artist and drifters who live in a van and cannot and should not be trusted.
#19
Autism. Especially online. (Saying this as an autistic person).
StrangeOne 12 months ago
I don't like how it's the default, go-to when people are talking about intellectual and developmental disabilities.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 12 months ago
Å lot of people romantise it. Especially because they can use it to make excuses for s****y behavior.
Load More Replies... Deborah 12 months ago
I was in my 60s before a psychiatrist determined I was "on the spectrum". It explained a lot of my life, but those issues where not used as excuse. It's not fun having to find "workarounds" for what a lot of people could do without thinking about it. People use this as an excuse. I will never in a million years understand why people diagnose themselves with a mental health problem just so they can excuse s****y behavior.
TribbleThinking 12 months ago
They do it precisely because it's an excuse. "Mental health" just happens to be the "in" excuse at the moment. Horrible people will use any excuse. My mother used "love" and "religion" to abuse and control. This Sunday School teacher indulged in behaviour that resulted in the death of a child and exposure of others to someone who went on to become a convicted rapist.
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Data1001 12 months ago
The thing to remember about autism, though, is that there is a wide-range of experiences with it, and many degrees of magnitude. That's why it's called a 'spectrum'. Someone can experience very minor aspects of it, but that doesn't mean they're just making it all up. Certainly the people at the far end of the spectrum will encounter a lot more difficulty in life, of course.
AsylumWalker 11 months ago
Not specifically. But it is used a lot to excuse bad behaviour, especially that of men
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Stephanie Barr 11 months ago
I have two kids on the spectrum that I adore. It's not a tragedy, but the struggles and challenges are real.
Sami-Jo Ross 11 months ago
The fact that anti-vaxxers use it as a scare tactic brings me such profound rage. "Don't vaccinate your kids, it gives you autism" is just a fancy way of saying they would rather have a dead kid than an autistic one.
#20
Gangs/thug life. That's so awful and dangerous.
Tele Avision 12 months ago (edited)
Gangs are for people who can't play a musical instrument.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 12 months ago
The only people who romanticise this in real life are the ones who have already been pulled in and convinced it's good so they don't realise they are being abused/used.
Elladine DesIsles 12 months ago
And the ones who are in the process of being pulled in who are too young and foolish to know better.
Load More Replies... Data1001 12 months ago
Started watching this sci-fi show called Supacell -- it's really good, but it also depresses me because so much of it is centered around gangs in London, and all I can think is, Good lord, what a terrible existence.
MotherRobinson 12 months ago
I also like that show. But they could do without the gangs tho.
Load More Replies...“When we define ourselves by external standards, rather than what we authentically want for ourselves, we can end up in a place of self-doubt and low self-esteem. This impedes our personal growth and leads us away from our authenticity. Over time, this lack of authenticity can lead to anxiety, depression, and harmful behaviors and habits,” the expert pointed out.
“You can begin to reconnect with your authentic self by focusing on raising your EQ. Raising your EQ begins with you, getting to know yourself, and your emotions. When you understand what triggers anger and other negative emotions, you can better regulate your actions and reactions to situations and interactions with others. A greater self-awareness leads to an increase in the ability to make choices that align with who you truly are and what you want for yourself.”
#21
Consumerism, most people are buying tons of s**t they don’t need or really even want just because ‘everyone’ else has it.
Don’t get me started about Christmas. We quit exchanging gifts forever ago. So much less stressful.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago (edited)
I believe it was George Carlin who said we buy things we don't want with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
I don't buy gifts for "occasions". I give gifts when I see or think of something someone would like. I recently gave an acquaintance two of Richard Feynman's memoirs simply because he came up in conversation, and I figured they'd enjoy them.
Deborah 12 months ago
This! One Mother's Day I told my mom I felt bad about not being able to get her a gift right then, that they (brother & SIL) only got her gifts when they had to, and I gave her things when I felt it was right.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 12 months ago
Whenever I hear "consumer" I can't help but think of cartoon people gobbling up everything in a store on conveyor belts. Is it good stuff for the mind, body and soul? Who knows. But inevitably it will all be crapped out of their homes and lives and end up in a landfill at some point.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 12 months ago
I am a firm believer in giving handmade gifts for Christmas. I also let the recipients know they aren't required to keep them. The joy it gives you to open it and see it is enough.
Dog Mom to Zoe 12 months ago
I enjoy giving gifts that are meaningful or something special. But at my age, I'm done. I'm tired of it and this will be my last Christmas buying for adults.
Robert Beveridge 12 months ago
What am I doing for crimbo? Scrolling BP. gave up on it years ago.
#22
“Working for yourself”. Sounds dreamy, right? More like “stressfully juggling ALL the things 24/7”.
Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
Also, the tax and FICA costs for self-employed people is nuts. The system does not really benefit entrepreneurs.
Michael Largey 12 months ago
The system is designed and controlled by entities that don't welcome competition from entrepreneurs - or anyone else.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 12 months ago
My mom owned a business. She describes it as mainly doing all the things you won't like and 10% actually doing what you love. Lots of figuring out taxes, keeping budget, working out client orders.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
I did the thing I loved, which was repairing music electronics. But the parts of owning a business, like using wonky confusing Quickbooks software to pay the bills and create customer invoices, navigating the tax payment websites, filling out confusing warranty claim reimbursement forms, dealing with jerky customers, was a complete drag.
Carrie Laughs 12 months ago
Oh, QUICKBOOKS! ARGH! Called something else entirely in my house. Rhymes with hitbooks... They messed up my info so badly. Worked fine for years and then suddenly the bank wouldn't connect, then kept connecting twice, then stopped connecting altogether. They can't fix it but kept saying 'engineers are working diligently to fix the problem. Months have gone by, fairly sure that negates the diligent claim. They created masses of duplicates which they would remove but then the annoted information would be lost. Waiting for my fees to be refunded. With Sage Independent now. Sorry for the rant. I will probably need therapy for the stress they've caused me!!! Good luck...
Load More Replies... nottheactualphoto 12 months ago
At one time I was considering going into business for myself. But then I realized that the boss (myself) would be a slave driver, and all the employees (myself) would be a bunch of lazy slackers.
Auntriarch 12 months ago
It works perfectly for Mr Auntriarch, because he's a grumpy old git (all his life). And he doesn't get any trouble from his boss.
Plenty Pineapples 12 months ago
That really depends on your location, industry, family and personal circumstances... I love being self employed. Before I had kids I was always the one staying late in the office because I had no family or pets relying on me. After having babies it was extremely difficult finding anything that would be worth putting them in care, both due to cost and the positions available that I was way overqualified for. Nothing worth doing is easy, but when I can be there at school events to watch my kids or when I achieve a professional goal for ME, it's totally worth it!
Pencil 12 months ago
It's great for some (and it sounds like you're one of them) but people talk about it like it's the be-all, end-all for everyone. A guy I knew was a great mechanic and happy in his job but finally gave in to family pressure to open his own garage. He *hated* it. He wanted to work on motorcycles, not order parts, do bookkeeping, hire and manage the contractors to fix the roof after a storm... all the things a brick and mortar business owner has to do. After losing his savings, his garage closed and he went back to working for someone else. He still loves it. But there are still people who think he's a failure for it. Such a shame.
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Hakitosama 11 months ago
My dad never recovered. He's been a boss of a small company in Europe (three employees at its peak) and nowadays? Working as a teacher and on the verge of retirement? He is physically ILL when he "waste"(his word not mine) one day resting.....
#23
Living in NYC. Tiny living space, expensive, everywhere you go there are people, there’s always a line, one time someone threw a live rat at my friend.
David 12 months ago (edited)
Well in NYC if you visit, we have 170 museums of all types, dozens of historical sites, revolutionary war battle grounds, 29,000 acres of parks spread through the five boroughs (14% of all land in NYC), multiple beaches, jet skiing, boating, a federal wildlife preserve (with over 12,600 acres of water, saltmarshes, uplands, low lands, forests, etc), a NY State Forest preserve, mountain bike trails, multiple affordable public golf courses, over 27,000 restaurants with seating and another 21,000 take out eateries, featuring hundreds of different regional and ethnic cuisines from all over the world, many cultural events from ethnic groups all over the world, great architecture, the fames NY Public Library, and so much more. There is literally something for everyone here and so much to do
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David 12 months ago
This shows this person visited once and never left Manhattan. NYC is 5 boroughs, each legally their own county, covering over 300sq miles (about 780sq km) with many areas. Most of NYC isnt tiny living spaces or crowded with tons of people, many parts are quite affordable, etc and rats are really just a few commercial zones in Manhattan and Brooklyn. People need to see the whole NYC before judging off of being a tourists and seeing about 5% of NYC. Here is a local area near me in the picture attached photoofstr...ef-png.jpg 
David 12 months ago
and here is an area not far from me Coleman_Sq...4cb7bd.jpg 
oktopus 12 months ago
Wait, they are giving away free rats in NYC, and people thing that is a bad thing?
Campy 12 months ago
I don't romanticize it, but I'd give anything to live there. I've known from the first day there that it's where I really belong. I actually think I probably did live there in another life. Not living there, and it's not looking at all likely, will be the greatest disappointment of my life. I know several people there and they all love it.
Pencil 12 months ago
I lived in NYC for the first 55 years of my life. It's a tough place but worth it. I hope you don't give up on your dream. There are ways to do it. Best of luck.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
New York was fun in my 20's. Wouldn't want to live there now. But had a great experience. We had fairly decent student housing in a nice, safe neighborhood in Manhattan proper. That helped make things more fun.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
People like to make living in densely urbanized places like that sound preferable, and lately more and more frame it as though it's a moral obligation. To me it sounds like my worst nightmare. People weren't tricked by developers into abandoning a superior urban lifestyle for an empty existence in the suburbs. People went to the suburbs because they like having some elbow room, a modicum of privacy, and somewhere to put their stuff.
Pencil 12 months ago
Suburbs are the worst misery in the world to me in terms of a place to live. They almost have elbow room but really don't. They almost have nice restaurants but actually don't. Zero culture and barren lawns in lieu of nature. Just awful. Lived in NYC for the first 55 years of my life and now live in farm country. Absolutely love both.
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Ravenkbh 12 months ago (edited)
In New York throwing a live rat at someone is a way of saying "Hello"
Pencil 12 months ago
That's just a trash thing to say about any people living anywhere. There's no reason for that.
Load More Replies...“A deeper and closer relationship with yourself allows you to begin to relate authentically to others. This leads to better social skills. Better social skills allow you, at your highest and best, to interact with confidence, in the moment, with compassion for yourself and others,” Dr. Vermani said, adding that:
“We need to pay attention to our negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs.
“We need to challenge the impossible standards we set for ourselves.
“We need to treat ourselves with compassion.
“We need to reconnect with and stand up for our authentic selves.
“We need to prioritize our authenticity.”
By doing that, we can clear our mind of all sorts of romanticized scenarios that are actually pretty awful, and focus on being our true selves, which, in turn, will allow us to create stronger relationships and arguably a calmer mind.
#24
The grindset. When taken to extreme it can be really hard to get out of and extremely detrimental to mental health. Sometimes it leads to people identifying with external goals too much.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
This never comes off as glamourized, to me. It just comes across that they are desperate and frantic, as if their business is about to fail and they're going bankrupt.
Robert Beveridge 12 months ago
"when taken to the extreme"? ANY amount of "the grindset" is too extreme.
#25
Joker and Harley Quinn.... she has stockhome syndrome and battered wife syndrome (BWS, and yeah i dont like how it sounds either) but idiotic people will be like "OMG were just like Harley and the Joker!"...
yeah, suuuuuper cute..... /s.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
I believe it's worse than Stockholm Syndrome. Cinema Therapy did their take on Harley and Joker.
CanadianDimes 12 months ago
It also really bugs me that she was a psychologist or psychiatrist (can’t remember) and he made her go crazy. What, because a woman who is trained to handle psychological issues just needs one bad enough man to completely lose it?
John Dilligaf 12 months ago
In the actual comics she recognized the toxicity of the relationship and kicked him (literally) to the curb long ago. She's now in a pretty loving and stable relationship with Poison Ivy. The movie universe just has to catch up.
AsylumWalker 11 months ago
Yeah, im glad the animated show has gone that direction.
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William Teach 12 months ago
And don't forget that Joker is a wackjob criminal who does really awful things
Jeremy Klaxon 12 months ago
You actually explained an obscure acronym! It's Christmas! (It really is Christmas). Have an upvote just for explaining your acronym!
Anne Young 11 months ago
'Stockhome' isn't a thing. Learn to spell. Ever heard of Sweden? Apparently they've never heard of patty hearst.
#26
Travelling for work.
You'll be going to stupid awkward places you don't want to go, on a student pittance of a budget. Your decidedly meh hotel is also probably a long way from where you need to be and doesn't include anything like breakfasts.
Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
And it’s not as if you get to see much of anything in the city you’re visiting. Airport, hotel, office, hotel, airport.
Pandapoo 12 months ago
Depending on what city I was traveling to, I would ask my employer if they could fly me out a few days early and I would pay for the extra hotel days. It worked out well.
Load More Replies... Alexia 12 months ago (edited)
Did this for a couple of years. It was exciting at first but it quickly became exhausting and annoying. Daily allowance was minimum, I could barely cover some decent meals. I didn't have time to see or do anything except work-related. Unexpected things may mess up your schedule (such as flight delays or cancellations). But at least hotels were good.
James016 12 months ago
I had a massive flight delay so I missed a connecting flight to Lemnos, as it was out of season, there were only 2 flights per day so I had to wait around in Athens for hours, got to my hotel at about 11pm, did the work I needed to do and then left at 5am the next morning to catch another flight back to Athens to wait around some more before going to the next island.
Load More Replies... Paul Scheermeijer 12 months ago
I often travel for work, neighbour's think it's all glamorous, but at the end of the day, your dining all alone in the (hotel)restaurant playing with your phone, chewing down mediocre food just to have food, ending up in your hotel room, bored af, either checking emails or just watch some TV.
Diolla 12 months ago (edited)
I used to travel for work and usually loved it. Decent hotels, dinner in town, extended breakfast, not having to get up bloody early in the morning because am close to the office. And not having to cook, clean, etc.. Like mini holidays. But this was like 2 days every other week, perfect dosage 😁
Katie Allen 12 months ago
Last hotel I stayed in. The room was nice and comfortable but they were advertising "free breakfasts". This consisted of a coffee machine, a tea machine and a kind of muffin I don't like. And that was it. At least the tea was good.
Bill Evs 12 months ago (edited)
I did it as part of a job I had around 10 years ago. The novelty of it wore off pretty quickly when the realisation hits you that when you're not actually working you spend 90% of your free time whilst away just sitting in pubs or restaurants eating alone. Even though I got paid expenses it would take weeks for claims to be processed so for large chunks of the month I was out of pocket. But the worst part was the endless driving to get to these places and/ or having to wake up at 4am several days in a row to get to your location for a 9am start then work to 6pm. After a few months of that I was mentally and physically drained.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 12 months ago
I went to Washington DC for a week and only saw the Washington Memorial while riding to the airport.
Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
Doesn't sound appealing to me at all. I've never been much of a traveler.
#27
Smoking.
Stinky, dirty, plus a wide assortment of health impacts.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago
Eh, I don't think this is romanticized NEARLY as much as it used to be.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Still heavily normalized though. Way too many movies and "adult" cable TV shows still casually include it.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 12 months ago
Needs to be higher. We've long been in the age of better information to know there's no health benefits at all.
Bill 11 months ago
Yeah cancer and copd are very romantic. 43 years of it and I dont own a shirt without burn holes. I can't breathe normal air unless it's just the right temperature. I get to have a bronchoscopy tomorrow then be admitted. I was given medicine to make it through Christmas but it does't look good. Source: I overheard my doctor talking to his nurse about me who also happens to be my daughter. It's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.
lindsaygerring 11 months ago
I have copd 39 diagnosed well went for xrays 33 the tray repels faces were enough forme to know I Google diagnosed my.symptoms n I know its copd I too cough my rung off on too cold.or too hot a temp.or.fluctuationg.temperstrtures
Load More Replies... #28
Pregnancy. It is romanticized to the point you have no idea what you actually walk into. You’re told it’s some beautiful thing and a good thing for society. Then society shames you no matter your decision for YOUR pregnancy and labor choices and no one tells you about the horrors of it all. ✨ But sure 100% let’s romanticize pregnancy.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
Let's be real. Everyone is talking about the baby, wanting to touch your belly to feel the baby. It seems if people were able to, they would reach through your stomach to grab the baby. All the fretting about how you're doing, what you're eating, when you're due, why are you still doing this and that, where you'll be having your baby so they can come see the baby and visit, all that attention you're getting is actually about the baby. Once the baby is born, everyone wants to hold the baby, cooing and awing. You'll tell them you're tired and need sleep, the visitors will fluff your needs off because they're not finished visiting the baby. You will have to feed your baby, go to the washroom, shower, eat. You will need help with the showering and going to the washroom but no one will want to help you because they can spend time with the baby while you figure yourself out, alone. You're cast aside and not trusted to know what you're doing. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
OneHappyPuppy 12 months ago
I'm sorry you didn't have a supportive family or partner for that matter. Yeah I've felt off, battled PPD but I had my husband and MIL with me all the way - supportive loving and caring, and most importantly not overwhelming. It takes a village...
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Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
I loved being pregnant. But I know not everyone does. But it was just so cool to have this little fellow hanging around inside all the time. And I could feel him wiggle and flip and get hiccups. So neat.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Big chunk of society has successfully criminalized not wanting to be pregnant or have a child.
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Chucky Cheezburger 12 months ago
Nobody talks about the puking, the sensitivity to smells and probably other things, the difficulty getting around, the oh c**p when there has to be an emergency C-section and you don't where they took your wife...
Adam Benson 12 months ago
Being a father myself, it's interesting to see how TV shows/movies portray giving birth -they often get it so wrong, it's laughable (for example, her water breaking does NOT mean the baby will arrive at any second.)
Katie Allen 12 months ago
and labor is depicted as a couple of pushes, a couple of "eek"s and suddenly there's a nice clean baby!
Load More Replies... Frances Pitchoune 12 months ago
And besides, I HATE when we're shown a baby picture and you feel like you have to say: "Ah he's cute, he looks like you, he has your eyes" and blah blah blah.
Kim Karlotta 11 months ago
That's annoying but not on the same level as nobody telling you there's quite a big chance you'll be tearing open from your vagina to your b******e and the hospital will sew it together crooked.
Load More Replies... AR 12 months ago
I’ll never forget the one time some old lady gave me a nasty look when I was pregnant. I couldn’t figure it out other than the fact I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring because my fingers swelled a bit. But I was 23, married, and even a Navy vet, but I guess because I looked young and had no ring while pregnant, I was worth looking at nastily.
#29
Neediness. People like to pretend that having a partner or friends or family who you do everything with is the best thing in the world but honestly everyone needs to learn to do things alone.
If you don't learn to do things alone you will end up in codependent relationships with everyone and then get miserable when those people have their own lives.
#30
Chronic illnesses. It isn’t fun to pass out and feel like s**t daily. I cannot stand seeing videos online “watch my bf hold me while I pass out” and someone gracefully passes out while their bf holds them and they wake up all wide eyed and bushy tailed smiling. Last time I went out I just drop and wake up shaking and confused. It isn’t fun.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago
I've never heard of anyone romanticising that. Spend any time with someone with a chronic illness and you are more likely to be annoyed because they can't do all the things you want to. I hear so many people say 'x is such a flake, they always cancel' when the reality is they can't get out of bed, or can't face leaving the house etc. They would love to be there but can't
Ace 12 months ago
Who TF would think that any illness, chronic or otherwise, could be 'romantic'?
Auntriarch 12 months ago
Ah, it goes back a long way, check out the Brontë sisters, or consumption.
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#31
Having an overly clingy partner.
Dread Pirate Roberts 12 months ago
It's annoying, stressful, cringey, and pathetic. Not attractive at all.
#32
Guys being possessive of their gfs/wives. Yes it could be cute in a joking manner, but some people just take it too far...
#33
The whole, "I can fix them", idea. Stop it, unless they want help, because there is nothing you can do, and most likely make things worse. Not only for them, but also for you. In some cases the best thing you can do is walk away.
Black Cat 12 months ago
Yes, why be with someone you want to change? I think in some instances it's just controlling behaviour under the guise of being helpful.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
Even people you are happy with will eventually change and that puts a strain on the relationship. There is no such thing as "happily ever after".
Load More Replies... The Cute Cat 12 months ago
Also, not 100% true.. Most people who in bad shape need support from their beginning...
#34
Growing up with performing parents. I was on the road a lot as a kid, sleeping wherever I could get comfortable, no bed-times, sometimes I didn't have snacks, usually no babysitter. I was mostly just bored and lonely, and all I wanted a warm bed, structure and an adult to take care of me.
#35
Wine-o culture. It’s weird that we treat binge drinking as a joke.
Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
You can pry my wine out of my cold dead hands. And I don't get drunk. I have maybe 2 drinks. Just enough to relax.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Annnnd... you've just embodied their point. If you can't cope without alcohol, you're an alcoholic. The quantity doesn't matter.
Load More Replies... James016 12 months ago
Expand this to drinking culture in general. Especially in the uk. I got a lot of c**p when I went teetotal in the early 2000s. I found ways to shut that down quickly. Getting blind drunk to the point of vomiting is not fun. Hangovers are terrible.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago
As someone in recovery, I despise the attitude of "I'm such an alcoholic! Hahaha!" The reality is horrid and although you might hear a lot of us in recovery laugh at our often absurd behaviors and thinking, it's a coping skill for the horror of it, not us making light of it.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
I love wine, but doesn't it become less of a treat, less special when you drink it everyday, all day?
Annik Perrot 12 months ago
Appreciating good wine, with moderation, and binging on (generally cheap) wine are two completely different things.
#36
S*x on the beach, s*x in a hot tub, s*x in a pool, s*x in a bathroom - well, you get the point.
Find a bed people.
Paul Scheermeijer 12 months ago
Sex on the TV has become less spacious since the introduction of flat screen tv's. We keep falling off them
Sand Ers 12 months ago
It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.
Load More Replies... Ace 12 months ago
Sex in a field, sex in an abandoned car, sex almost anywhere. When you're young and don't have your own place this is how it goes.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Or when you're middle aged, and need something different to remind you of what being young was like.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 12 months ago
Yeah, pretty much don't do it in water...besides it being horrible as a "motion lotion", it washes away the natural stuff, and the lack thereof can cause injuries which can get infected from the germy soup you're trying to get busy in. And on the beach...? Sand gets EVERYwhere. Imagine being intimate using a condom lined inside and out with 80 grit sandpaper....Sound like fun?
StrangeOne 12 months ago
Sex in a car is not as fun and comfortable as it's depicted in movies.
#37
I had an eating disorder in college and was extremely thin. I was also miserable. My life was consumed by it and I was hungry and cold all the time. Constantly had people tell me how great I looked.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
Ya know, people complain about the fashion industry egging in eating disorders. But society doesn't need to look that far to see the problem lies much closer to home.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago (edited)
I went through something similar after my son was born. I went from 160lbs (pregnancy weight) to 105 (about 25-30lbs underweight for my height and build) within about 8 weeks postpartum. People kept telling me how great I looked. But the truth was that I had developed a thyroid condition that was on the verge of giving me a stroke at 35 before being caught.
#38
Living in a small town or rural area. It has its pluses and minuses, but it usually isn’t as charming as it looks in Hallmark movies.
Helena 12 months ago
Hallmark rarely includes the bigotry or sexism or petty gossip or racism or that everyone must conform or be ostracised. Which means something in a small town.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
Yes! With the Republican party now glorifying being overtly mean to anyone who is a liberal, living in a small town as a Democrat can be challenging. We learn to keep our moths shut in public situations.
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 12 months ago
That highly depends. I grew up in a small town and I have some great memories.
Chich 12 months ago
Love living in a rural area, but - if you move out there be aware that: the snow plows will not show up the moment it snows, animals smell and *will* have sex as your 4 year old looks on, it is not quiet and peaceful all the time -things occasionally explode, there are no street lights and we don't want them so don't even bring it up, wildlife will wander through your yard and tear your garbage cans apart, no trendy shops or large shopping complexes - that's what cities are for, and probably a dozen other things that newcomers are amazed/appalled by. Worst part is they soon try to turn our lovely spot into the concrete miasma they 'escaped' from.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago
We don't get snow most places in Australia but your first point reminded me of when I went to Canada and I was in Charlottetown. We were basically stuck there for an extra day because of bad snow. Our taxi driver remarked 'the main road isn't ploughed yet, but the road to Tim Hortons has been done'.
Load More Replies... Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
Lived in a small town for about five years as a kid. One of the most miserable experiences of my life.
Tyranamar Suess 12 months ago
I can't do small town. I need a variety of activities which is really only possible in the city. I also worry my son will fall into d**g addiction in one of these towns. There's nothing for the kids to do but get high. I've worked at addiction centers in rural areas. Shocking- everyone knows someone who knows someone else. So nothing is truly anonymous. And the d**g use is passed down generations. Parents letting their kids drink alcohol at 7. Or meth together at 13. Mind boggling. I decided I never wanted to live in a rural area after seeing this pattern more than once. One was even a wealthy rural area. Big farms and mega businesses that all lived around this one area. Didn't help a bit. Addiction is bigger than money.
Nils Skirnir 12 months ago
Small cities and towns in less populated areas of US have the highest violent crime rates in the country. Also have less medical care
MegDragon 12 months ago
Depending where you live it can be lovely, of course. But living in a small remote community tends to involve hard work and sacrifices. There are less resources such as schooling and healthcare. And there tend to be very few people living nearby, which means you hope you fit in with them cause otherwise you’re on your own.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago
I moved to a smaller, rural town but would have preferred to be further out. My mum lives on 13 acres about 15 minutes from me and the town she is closest to is very small. One supermarket and less than a dozen smaller shops. I have basically adopted this as my town. I go to aqua aerobics and church there and am involved in other community events. I love it and wish I could have afforded a house there. That's the thing, it can be as good as you expect, if you can become part of the community, get to know people. The main thing that isn't good about it is the increased risk of bushfires (especially at the moment).
#39
Any disability. I have seen people actively search for partners who are disabled because they like the idea of their partner being completely dependent on them.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago
They aren't romanticising it, they are looking for people to control.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Or looking for someone who needs their "help", because it's a lot easier to deal with somebody else's issues than to face and address your own. That doesn't make them controlling, it means they lack self esteem or confidence.
Load More Replies... Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
That’s so creepy it made the skin on the back of my neck crawl.. I did know one woman (a very former friend) who admitted she went to group therapy to pick up emotionally vulnerable guys. She was a real piece of work.
Black Cat 12 months ago
She sounds predatory. The whole wanting someone in a weakened state sounds predatory.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 12 months ago
That’s diabolical and I pray that I’m never able to fathom how anyone can justify such blatant hate towards and exploitation of other people!
Bonesko 12 months ago (edited)
They clearly aren't aware of what that exactly entails. I've been with my partner for 12 years. He has a debilitating spinal disease and let me tell you it is not f****** easy to deal with. It takes an actual commitment and a lot of work . It's not his fault. I absolutely love him, but it is not something that should be romanticized. It can be very trying on the best of days.
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#40
Stalkers.
ZafrinaKuu:
I was stalked by an ex for almost 5 years. It was one of the worst times of my life. I lived in constant fear. I'm 10 years out from him finally stopping (yes the cops were involved) and I've moved to a different state and I'm still scared that he will show up....yeah stalkers are horrible....
#41
Very specific, but those tumblr posts that romanticize living in an apartment with a lot of cats while it’s raining? Having a bunch of cats? No, they’re not low maintenance and cheap. No, there’s zero guarantee they’re going to like you or the other cats. If your six cats all got sick with URIs, your bank account is f****d. Living in an apartment with a lot of cats? You clean their litter boxes daily unless they live outside. They leave SO. MUCH. FUR. They will scratch up and knock down anything nice you have. I love my guys, but I wish I had thought a little more before adopting more than two because I didn’t realize how costly they’d be. They’re a commitment, people!
SnackbarKaat 12 months ago
My sister and her husband had 6 cats and when i Came to their house for the first time... I understood why the landlord wanted them out.
Huddo's sister 12 months ago (edited)
I love cats (about the only animal I really like) but I haven't had one since my childhood one died. I just don't have the energy or money to care for them.
TheStormIRide 12 months ago
poland for instance. or any country where being an apartment owner is still normal
Load More Replies... #42
As a teenager, I thought war sounded so cool. Too many Rambo movies.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
No, it's absorption of a "noble warrior" romanticism that severely underreports what combat is really like, and sells the notion of "fighting for what's good and right" as possessing the moral high ground. Even when there's a "good" side and a "bad" side at the macro level, it's all bad at the micro level.
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#43
Daddy issues.
#44
Open relationships.
Ace 12 months ago
In which case it is not really an open relationship. If both parties want it then it can work just fine.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 12 months ago
I have seen people get hurt when one partner wants a non-monogamous relationship and the other doesn’t. I have never been involved in such a situation and their experiences have simply reinforced my belief that such practices do nothing but harm those who engage in them!
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Seeing only people who got it wrong does not mean it's not possible to do it right. It mostly goes wrong because it's tried by people who don't fully understand what they're getting into.
Load More Replies... Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
I think open relationships are a lot harder to navigate than people seem to think.
John Cole 12 months ago (edited)
Personally, I've seen a few open relationships work and a good few fail. Like any other type of relationship. Seems to me the ones that start monogamous but become open when one person is much more keen on opening it than the other, and the relationship was not so solid to start with. What a shock!
Enlee Jones 12 months ago
I've read a lot of stories that go like this: Guy wants open relationship because he feels deprived somehow. Gal reluctantly agrees. Guy then can't get a date to save his life. Gal has dates lined up around the block. Guy wants to close the relationship and be exclusive again. Gal doesn't because she's having time of her life and getting laid three times a day. Guy goes on Reddit and whines about how it's so unfair. Reddit roasts him for being a moron.
Greenmantle 12 months ago
I don't really get it, but then again, I'm monogamous. Each to their own, we've got to be tolerant of others.
Black Cat 12 months ago
I don't understand this, why be in a relationship if you want to sleep around? Where's the security when your partner is off shagging someone else when you need them?
Sand Ers 12 months ago
"Relationship" ≠ "monogamy". It's not valid to treat the terms as interchangeable. You should have quit at "I don't understand this".
Load More Replies... #45
Being much smarter than your academic level. It’s hell when you know everything being said but you have to sit through it because you can’t attend the exam otherwise.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago
Both of my children are moderately gifted. I was so grateful they were identified at a school that already had extra funding for special education because all the teachers knew exactly how to handle it, and my kids are able to stay in regular classrooms with students their own age.
Sky Render 12 months ago
I used to just ignore the lessons and assignments, do my own thing, and ace every test. Teachers ranged from annoyed and vindictive that I didn't need their help to learn to being supportive of a student taking the initiative to learn above and beyond the curriculum.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
I did that. Really successfully, right up until it stopped working. Turns out relying on intuition instead of nailing down the fundamentals can bite you in the aß in Algebra...
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 12 months ago
Perhaps these smart students can put their brains to good use and tutor the ones struggling to get a passing grade.
Elladine DesIsles 12 months ago
Absolutely not, a child should never bear that responsibility. Teachers in fact lean on high-achieving students frequently; to be fair, in overcrowded and underfunded classrooms they often have little alternative. I carried lab partners and completed entire group projects on my own. It's the academic equivalent of parentification, and it is abusive. School was misery for me and took a massive toll on my mental and physical health until I switched to an arts-and-academics focused high school where all classes were at a university level.
Load More Replies... #46
Working on the beach. Sand between keyboard keys is NOT fun.
#47
Tiny homes.
Daniel Atkins 12 months ago
Watching those shows it seemed that they all had large dogs. Nothing against dogs but living in a house so small that when the dog farts you have to clear out seems unwise to me.
Maggie Fulton 12 months ago
My folks and I lived in places that are within the size range for some tiny homes. The upper range, yes, but within the definition. We called them “homes.”;
Sand Ers 12 months ago
Would you have preferred a couple hundred more square feet?
Load More Replies... #48
Having someone jelous of you. Maybe it can look like they simply care for you, but the line is very thin to becoming possessive.
#49
Large age gap relationships to freshly turned 18 year olds or younger (lana del rey 'aesthetic'/mentality).
Winter 12 months ago (edited)
It can work. My husband and I have just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. We've been extremely happy together since early 1986, i.e we've been together for 38 years, and married for 35 years. When I first met him, he was 19, and I was 38 - 20 years older than him. Everyone said that it wouldn't last 😊🤨 ...but here we are, still paddling the canoe in the same direction... and likely to keep going for another 35 years, unless one of us (or hopefully both of us!) happens to pop their clogs due to some unforeseen circumstance! 😁
#50
Genius kids. I am so glad my daughter is within the expectation. I would hate for her to struggle to fit in and be seen as different and "special". It's actually really hard to be a genius. I'm not talking from experience, though. I'm very average lol.
StrangeOne 12 months ago
Hmmm. Every movie I see about geniuses has it depicted as bleak and lonely. Like in Algernon
Michael Largey 12 months ago
Scripts about bright children living happy and healthy normal lives don't get made into movies. Statistically, gifted children are above average when it comes to mental health.
Load More Replies... keyboardtek 12 months ago
The one genius I knew ended up head of product development at Microsoft for years. Being very smart gives one the brain power to solve life's problems. I would much rather be a genius than a slow witted human.
#51
Misunderstood talented mad geniuses.
I mean, their results aren't. Dreadful existences though.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
Only dreadful if they are truly mad. But being exceptional in one thing can get a bit lonely as most people cannot relate when you talk about that topic.
#52
Only Fans girls.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
It's legal honest work (to the extent that any acting job is honest) and a hell of a lot more lucrative than a lot of other pathways available. Like any other line of work that can pour large amounts of cash on young people in a short period of time it can lead to issues. But's it's the money management that's the issue, not the work.
#53
Divorcing your stuffy spouse to “find yourself” or something.
#54
Old cars.
Don't get me wrong, I love classic cars. There's something about how they look, the simplicity in some of their design, the weird quirks, even just how it feels to slot a shifter into gear where you can feel you're moving a solid piece of metal.
That said, modern cars are better in about every quantifiable way. Overall they're more powerful, more reliable, take surprisingly little maintenance, more efficient, and safer.
Old cars are amazing... as a second car.
James016 12 months ago
Burying primary functions into a touch screen that you have to take your eyes off the road for is not better in any way.
WalterWhiteSavannah 12 months ago (edited)
People always say this, but literally every car with a touch screen that I've seen also has voice commands, and physical controls either on the steering wheel or dash (or center console). Current car is the first one to have a touch screen and every single thing I'd ever need to do is also available in physical buttons right on the steering wheel I can reach without even moving my hand.
Load More Replies... Bill Evs 12 months ago (edited)
It's 6 of 1, half a dozen of the other I find. Older cars have their obvious problems but pretty much can be fixed by any back street mechanic or even someone at home if they have the tools and skills. My friend purchased a new car last year, all singing and dancing. Basically a PC on wheels. However when something went wrong with it and he took it to his mechanic of years he was told they couldn't fix it. It needed to go back to the dealership where they couldn't even diagnose the problem. Long story short his car was in there for weeks and weeks until the problem was eventually sorted. He lives in dread of it happening again.
Chucky Cheezburger 12 months ago
Modern cars have their drawbacks as well. It's much more difficult to do your own repairs. Everything is controlled by a computer. If something goes wrong, it's rare that it can be limped home or to a service shop. And I have my doubts about the reliability, depending on make and model.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
I think cars peaked somewhere around 2005. Computerized engine management, but the rest of the car is still mostly analog. You don't have to go to a dealership to teach the computer how to recognize the new 12v battery you installed. And the power windows don't care if the radio is removed. Our 02 Ford Focus has over 250k miles on it with nothing more than routine maintenance and worn out parts being replaced. The motor has never been opened up, the automatic transmission is original, and it just keeps running. I keep reflexively wanting to replace it, but there isn't really any need. Plus, it's yellow. It's really hard to find an inexpensive used hatchback that's painted a color. Most of them are beige, or shades of grey.
Load More Replies... martin734 12 months ago
I disagree with this one. My main vehicle is a 1979 Land Rover and it does everything I need a vehicle to do. It is very easy to maintain and work on without needing to take it to a garage, a recent cylinder head gasket change took 3 hours and nothing more complicated than a torque wrench. True, compared to a modern 4x4 it is slow and uncomfortable, but at a recent country show, the only vehicles able to get out of the steep, muddy car park were older Land Rovers and a couple of old Land Cruisers, the BMW's and Audi's with their electronic 4x4 systems were stuck. I love my old Landy and If I do ever need to replace it I will almost certainly get another one.
Dog Mom to Zoe 12 months ago
Older cars don't turn into accordions when in a traffic accident. I'm talking 50's d 60's.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
You say that like it's a good thing. Any energy that isn't dissipated by the metal deforming is transferred into the passenger compartment.
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#55
Most plotlines in Love Actually.
#56
Cuddling while sleeping.
Black Cat 12 months ago
Same with walking with your arms around each other. It's bloody uncomfortable. Head on his shoulder, nah hurts ya neck.
keyboardtek 12 months ago
At a certain age. separate bedrooms for husband and wife make sleeping much better. Me with my spinal arthritis causing me to toss and turn all night, and my wife with her snoring keeping me awake, made for both of us to have rotten sleep.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 12 months ago
I think it would be nice to be the lil spoon sometimes. I think I'd feel protected and safe.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 12 months ago
Even as a kid, I hated when my mum would cuddle me when I slept in her bed. The feeling of her arm over or under my shoulder/neck was so uncomfortable.
#57
Genuinely, being in love with a narcissist. i’ve literally seen it. mostly from girls my age (14-16).
as someone medically diagnosed with npd i have enough awareness of myself and other narcissists to say it’s never ever going to be what you daydream. not to demonize us, but we suck. a lot of the time .
SleepyVampire 12 months ago
I've worked in the mental health field for years and technically speaking, a young teenager cannot be diagnosed with NPD. A 14-16 year-old with the diagnosis is pretty much unheard of.
Sand Ers 12 months ago
But does that mean they can't have it, or is it an academic rule because change is hypothetically possible until adulthood?
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 12 months ago
If you're in love with a narcissist, the two of you will always have something in common.
What do you think ?
Adam Benson 12 months ago
Domestic violence against men. I've lost count of how many times I've seen cartoons of a wife in curlers and dressing gown, holding a rolling pin and glaring at her obviously scared husband (as if our reaction is supposed to be 'uh-oh, what did he do wrong? he's in for it now!') Violence in any form is NOT funny.
James016 12 months ago
I remember an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show where they had this young man on describing the physical abuse he was suffering at the hands of his girlfriend. It was so bad that he jumped out of a second floor window to escape her. You could hear some of the audience sniggering as he was telling his story. Jeremy Kyle just snapped at them asking that if it was a woman sitting there, would they be laughing like that?
Load More Replies... Fabulous chocolate cookie 12 months ago
Social media. The addiction of the virtual likes and views, the constant need for validation from others and especially the fact you only see the positive things of people's life's while you are eating ramen noodles while being in a fight with your parents. And also how the algorithm creates echo chambers and fake news by only showing you things that suit the person's view and interests. Plus how dangerous challenges from tiktok result in actual deaths of children by for instance eating dishwasher disks or chocking yourself to feel a high.
MegDragon 12 months ago
Travel. Assuming you can scrape together the money and time to go…There’s opportunity for wonderful experiences, with a lot of careful planning, but it’s also tiring, and when things go wrong, they can go very wrong. It’s not all serene strolling the Thai beaches at dawn.
camomooey 12 months ago
I agree. I won a trip to Italy, and that was cool because I always wanted to go somewhere in Europe. Yeah, the trip was paid for, but one cancelled flight, one missed flight and having to sit in the airport in Paris for 10 HOURS OMG, (not our fault), and many other things that went wrong have turned me off of travel entirely. Also, I've gotten old now, and I prefer being at home. No more "adventures" for me, thank you.
Load More Replies... Adam Benson 12 months ago
Domestic violence against men. I've lost count of how many times I've seen cartoons of a wife in curlers and dressing gown, holding a rolling pin and glaring at her obviously scared husband (as if our reaction is supposed to be 'uh-oh, what did he do wrong? he's in for it now!') Violence in any form is NOT funny.
James016 12 months ago
I remember an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show where they had this young man on describing the physical abuse he was suffering at the hands of his girlfriend. It was so bad that he jumped out of a second floor window to escape her. You could hear some of the audience sniggering as he was telling his story. Jeremy Kyle just snapped at them asking that if it was a woman sitting there, would they be laughing like that?
Load More Replies... Fabulous chocolate cookie 12 months ago
Social media. The addiction of the virtual likes and views, the constant need for validation from others and especially the fact you only see the positive things of people's life's while you are eating ramen noodles while being in a fight with your parents. And also how the algorithm creates echo chambers and fake news by only showing you things that suit the person's view and interests. Plus how dangerous challenges from tiktok result in actual deaths of children by for instance eating dishwasher disks or chocking yourself to feel a high.
MegDragon 12 months ago
Travel. Assuming you can scrape together the money and time to go…There’s opportunity for wonderful experiences, with a lot of careful planning, but it’s also tiring, and when things go wrong, they can go very wrong. It’s not all serene strolling the Thai beaches at dawn.
camomooey 12 months ago
I agree. I won a trip to Italy, and that was cool because I always wanted to go somewhere in Europe. Yeah, the trip was paid for, but one cancelled flight, one missed flight and having to sit in the airport in Paris for 10 HOURS OMG, (not our fault), and many other things that went wrong have turned me off of travel entirely. Also, I've gotten old now, and I prefer being at home. No more "adventures" for me, thank you.
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