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Relationships are all about communication, but let’s face it, that’s often easier said than done. The result is that in many, failed relationships, there are a decent amount of things that ended up left unsaid.
Someone asked people to share “the one thing you never told your ex?” and netizens spilled their guts. From heartbreaking revelations to funny tit-bits, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
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#1
That sometimes, while I was asleep, I'd wake to her petting my hair and telling me that she loved me. She said it in such a loving, quiet voice, it felt almost secret. In those moments, I had never felt so loved. I'd pretend to still be asleep while fading back into it so she wouldn't get embarrassed. We broke up later but I still cherish those moments.
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#2
The day I left was the best day of my life. Not the wedding, not when the kiddo finished kindergarten or high school. When I finally had enough and realized what was happening was abuse and it happens to men, too.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 8 months ago
It does happen to men too. I'm a survivor. My ex used to get whiskey drunk and beat the c**p out of me. I never hit back because I have 50lb on her and I'd be the one in jail. Glad she's gone and the restraining order makes sure that's the case.
#3
That he's gay. I remember the party in college where I walked in on him kissing our friend Daniel. We just never talked about it again. And once I announced the divorce, everyone mentioned that he was gay. They thought it was some big secret we were all agreeing not to discuss.
I just wish he'd get on with it and live his life openly now. But I realize there must be tremendous pain keeping him from that. So I'll keep loving him as a friend and family member, raising our daughter as coparents.
I'm happy and remarried. I hope he finds what he needs someday. He's an amazing dad.
It can be very hard to tell a person a hard truth, even, in fact particulate, if you love them. The truth hurts is an old adage for a reason and most of us don’t actually want to hurt the people who are important to us. It’s even worse when one is dealing with something that happened between them and an ex or really any important figure from the past.
While, in the moment, it might be easier to stay silent, psychologists believe that it still helps with closure. After all, the folks in this article still felt the need to share the words left unsaid with someone, even if it was random people on the internet.
#4
She wanted to improve her own fitness, so she wanted to work out with me. Every time we ran together I would run at half speed, breath heavily and pretend like I was exhausted. It helped her feel encouraged, that she was able to keep up, and that she was improving.
When we’d go out to Asian restaurants she’d insist on using chopsticks. She was terrible, so I always tried to out-do any blunders she made. If she struggled to pick something up, I’d pretend the chopsticks slipped out of my hand, or resort to stabbing food in an exaggerated way. I’m Asian… I’ve been using chopsticks longer than I’ve been using spoons and forks. She’d always gleefully laugh at me and never caught on to the fact that everytime she was done eating my chopstick errors significantly dropped.
Lastly, she loved falling asleep next to me but kicked and spasmed in her sleep. She was a heavy sleeper and I wasn’t so this sleeping arrangement didn’t really work out but she was always so happy to go to sleep and wake up next to me. A lot of times if she kicked me awake I’d sleep on the floor, get up slightly before her alarm, and scoot back next to her like nothing happened so she wouldn’t feel bad.
I got burned by that relationship pretty badly but I have every intention of continuing to do those little things for my future partners. Just waiting for the right person to do them for.
Kyra Heiker 8 months ago
It is never a good idea to make yourself "less than" to stay in a relationship. If you can't be yourself and act normal what's the point? There is a difference between acceptance and whatever the heck he thought he was doing.
#5
I know she faked an "emergency" phone call and left my apartment in a hurry one night because she had sh*rted herself. Unbeknownst to her there was some trace evidence left where she was sitting on the couch. I cleaned the spot, flipped the cushion, and I never let on that I knew what had really happened.
Brittany Grawe 8 months ago
Sort of small compared to the other confessions on this page, but this probably everything to her.
#6
The heartfelt letter she wrote to her dying bff was returned bc she put the wrong address. He passed away while the letter was en-route back to her. I threw it in the trash.
Zedrapazia 8 months ago
It's a horrible thing to happen, but better like that. The guilt would have eaten her up had she known, at least that's how I would feel in such a case, so it's better she never has to find out
Let’s face it, in many cases, it is best to discuss and divulge things early to not let them build up for later. Fortunately, many of the examples are a tad more lighthearted. It seems unlikely that someone is truly dying to tell their ex that, actually, they simply let them win at every board game.
#7
The real reason I broke up with her was because I caught myself going through her phone on a regular basis. The last time I did it, it hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew it was me and not her. I developed trust issues from past relationships.
I was so in love with her, I didn't feel she deserved to be with someone not in a healthy place.
I tried my hardest to trust her but couldn't. I still haven't gotten past her and it's been 6 years.
That behavior scared me so much, I haven't been in a relationship since and have focused on me. I think I scared myself so badly, I am avoiding relationships out of the fear I'll have the desire to do that again.
Now she's engaged and here I am... On Reddit. Confessing my crazy behavior.
Quint Bates 8 months ago
Hey, you noticed it and are trying to fix it. It shows that you are capable of changing unlike so many people out there who just keep on keeping on being crazy
#8
That his dog was seeking him out in her dying moments.
He had rescued a little girl from a dog fighting puppy mill, and raised her by himself until we met. I instantly loved her and for a year into our relationship I got to watch the two of them build trust and train and play everyday. She was his whole life as when he saved her, he had no one else regarding family or friends, in a very depressed state.
Around our 1 year anniversary she got sick. I woke up one day with a very bad feeling, only to look around and find her sitting in a pool of blood and p**s. Without hesitation we took her to the vet non stop and payed for any and every test we could. She was young still, 2 and a half.
They all came back negative, and she was a fully vaccinated dog. One Sunday, after 5 days of fighting with antibiotics and getting her to eat, cleaning up blood and p**s and taking out any savings we both had to pay off doctors, she passed.
They were both a sleep on the couch (we took turns sleeping) and I was dozing off from the exhaustion.
I saw her around 5am wake up, she tried moving around trying to get to her dad but she was too weak and he was too tired. I didn't realize what was happening, why she suddenly wanted to be with him so much.
I sat with her, telling her that it would be okay and the minute the vet was available we would head over for painkillers. We would find what was hurting her and that she wasn't alone. I covered her with a blanket and fell asleep on the floor before I realized it. 9 am same day she had joined the other angels.
To this day, I have some of her ashes and I just keep thinking I should of woken him up, or helped her. For the longest time he blamed himself for not being with her in her final moments.
We never found what killed her, autopsy wasn't an option.
rorschach-penguin 8 months ago
I... think I'm going to go spend some time with my own pets now.
#9
I know that wasn’t the dog’s fart.
After all, it’s no surprise that most gags in your average sitcom, inevitably, come from some characters miscommunicating or leaving something out. It’s a pretty common human experience at this point. So like with many things in life, it’s important to not beat yourself up too much and just use your best judgment.
#10
My ex's parents were separated, so we often found ourselves at her mom's place. Her mom, a high-powered CEO in New York, rarely engaged in casual conversation. However, one night, amidst her job stress, she surprised us by joining in for a laid-back evening. Nestled in her fantastic Manhattan loft, we relished the opportunity to escape our sweltering college dorms during the summer. On this particular night, as my ex and I stayed over, her mom seemed a touch envious of our city escapade and decided to join us for a nostalgic early 2000s movie and a nightcap. As the evening unfolded, my ex dozed off, and I couldn't help but notice her mom consuming the lion's share of the wine. She became unusually chatty, delving into personal questions and fixing me with a lingering gaze. When the movie ended, I suggested that i’d probably leave my ex on the couch and that i would probably just take the floor. However, her mom unexpectedly proposed sharing her bedroom. Politely, I declined, and it's a secret I've kept from my ex ever since.
#11
We should’ve broken up after that first fight 6 weeks in instead of 3 and a half years later. You’re my biggest regret.
Ashley Noelle 8 months ago
My ex and I should have stayed broken after our 8 month break up, or 3 year break up, or 8 year break up. 10 years it took and I'm still trying to put myself back together.
#12
I exposed her for stealing at work. Yahtzeeee.
Was stealing tips from a tip pool. So from all her coworkers.
#13
That I knew the last time she tried to talk me into having sex, she was trying to pin her pregnancy from her trip to Florida on me.
#14
That it isn’t normal for him (18) and his sister (23) to shower together on a regular basis…. And no it was not to preserve water because they were loaded af.
#15
Oooooh had to hop on the alt account for this one! When I was 22, I had a baby with my ex and we gave them up for adoption. I should have gotten an abortion, but I got scared so I ended up carrying to full term and letting a great family adopt them. Less than 5 people know about this. It's my biggest skeleton in my closet.
#16
She had a lovebird. it managed to get out the door, we spent weeks walking the neighbour's hood, putting up posters and scouring lost and found ads. unfortunately, within an a few hours of the first round of lost posters being distributed, I got a call (on her phone, she was in shower) from a woman who witnessed poor Lovebird being predated by crows. I went out to 'buy cigarettes', but actually went to the area where this was observed. I found a lot of little blue feathers. she was already heartbroken at the loss. I felt this news, this soon into the search would have crushed her.
Ashley Noelle 8 months ago
When I was 8 my cat was hit by a car and killed. Everyone knew except me. I spent weeks putting up posters looking for her before someone finally told me. I'm still mad about it to this day.
#17
It sounds harsh, but I would have loved to have talked with my ex about how neither of us really loved the other, but were both in love with the idea of each other, and that really f****d our relationship up, from day 1, and honestly I should have never tried to rely on her to fix my own pre-existing issues. I'm genuinely sorry I put her through that.
#18
We broke it off on good terms, but I wish I could’ve told him how much of a narcissist and an a*****e he was to me. He drunkenly asked me when I stopped loving him one night after we broke up… I stopped loving you 6 months into our relationship and stayed for 3 years bc I couldn’t afford to leave and be on my own and I became so used to the abuse that it was just normal at that point. I stopped loving you the first time you screamed “f**k you” into my face. You made so many excuses for your behavior and half of those were just blaming me when I did nothing wrong. You were explosive and short-tempered but everything was still my fault. You couldn’t care less about the things I wanted to do or the interests that I had, just you you you you you. He even left me with the dog I got him (whom I love very much and he is spoiled). Every weekend he’d be gone doing the things that I wish I could be doing with him, but I wasn’t invited or couldn’t afford it. AND THE LIES. I’d be surprised if he was ever telling me the truth. Deceit was the boys middle name, but I saw through it. Even when you didn’t think I did. I did.
I wish I could’ve said all of that but I left off on good terms because i’m wayyyyy too nice of a person. You live and you learn I guess. What a joke.
Thanks for the vent haha.
#19
Several things to each one of them
1- Im sorry that I fumbled breaking up with you but I needed a more active gf than just watching movies endlessly
2- i really wanted to spend my life with you but your decision that “you wanted to open our relationship” ended all attraction to you at that exact moment. I should have just walked away right there than demand it ‘stay closed’ and drag out the inevitable a few more months. You ended up leaving me anyways so w/e
3- your anger is why everyone youve dated dumped you, and why im dumping you too. Its not that we “are afraid of a smart woman” its you become petty and mean when you dont get your way. (Shes still single to this day)
4- i knew you cheated but you thought you were too slick.
#20
He made me reallyyyy uncomfortable with how often he "accidentally" s**t himself.
Accidents are accidents but there's a point where it's no longer an accident.
#21
That her passion and goals for her writing career did not match her talent and dedication in actually trying to achieve them.
#22
Just because you know interesting people, that doesn’t make you interesting.
#23
That she would make an awful mother and that’s why things ended.
#24
That I know damn well she cheated on me.
Edit to add: I never told her because it would have benefited no one. As a result, we had an amicable divorce.
#25
That she was a major catalyst in me making my life better. You we were my rock bottom. You made my life hell trying to help you and “fix” you.
It’s wild I spent the whole relationship terrified you’d out grow me, turns out I outgrew you and I am so happy. Happiest I’ve ever been. Go f**k yourslef.
#26
I knew he cheated for about 2 wks prior to the break up. I kept trying to give him chances to come clean on his own. He never did.
#27
That I felt the most at peace with him.
#28
Her parents pissed me the f**k off. Her mom was always complaining about everything, and her dad was a covid conspiracy theory nut case.
#29
That I accidentally dropped his Ducati on its side. Obviously I couldn’t pick it up, I was panicking and called a neighbor for help and both of us were able to pick it up. Thankfully nothing happened to the motorcycle. No scratches or anything.. but if my ex knew, he’d have a fit lmao.
#30
How bad his cooking really was. The best part about the very unpleasant break-up was that I no longer had to eat his food.
*Confused Screaming* 8 months ago
A lot of these seem like people just need better communication. You can easily get better at cooking, but he never will if he never knows
#31
The fourth time she stayed over at my house, she woke up crying in the middle of the night, talking like she was a kid, and saying how her family is at odds, and her dad hates her mom and thinks she’s ugly, but they can’t get a divorce because of Christian values. I just calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. She suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and stress-caused episodes, so I don’t think she remembers it happening. I didn’t bring it up the next morning or ever in the three years we were together; not even during our worst fights.
#32
I bought the ring from a buddy who robbed a jewelry store.
#33
He would make mashups/ DJ mixes and play his own music in the car. And they were f****n TRASH.
#34
That I broke up with her because she was just… too dumb.
Anne Jones 8 months ago (edited)
That’s not too bad. Stupid people really irritate me. It’s nothing to do with education. I knew a woman who could barely read and write (grew up in a war zone so minimal education) but she was incredibly intelligent. I’ve also met people who are so ignorant that I can hardly bear to be near them.
#35
I lost my virginity to her. Before we became a “thing” and she was just my friend I would lie to her about the women I slept with. This was in high school, man I still remember that night. Lmao, we ended up getting really serious, that relationship lasted 12 years. She would bring up the girls that I “supposedly” slept with and once in a while she would say that she ended up falling in love with a man wh*re. Lmao I never told her.
#36
His apartment was an absolute horror show. Like I don’t know how he put up with how filthy, cluttered and depressing it was, and I honestly felt embarrassed for him.
#37
That her family is and will continue to ruin her life. I have never met more narcissistic and pretentious, self diagnosing and delusional people in my entire life. I hope she finds the exit somehow, even tho she already had one.
Anyone-for-tea? 8 months ago
Do you think he meant self-aggrandizing….? Or maybe they spent a lot of time on Dr Google??
#38
That as much as I loved her, her lack of morals and social values meant we never had a future together. I could not imagine raising children with someone like her.
#39
I hired a divorce lawyer the day after she took the kids from daycare and ran off to her moms.
I was so stressed that I lost 5 lbs in 2 days due to stress from this. I convinced her to come back and just ‘make it work’ for The kids sake. But I knew I could never trust her again. I stashed $, gift cards, kids clothes & supplies at work and my folks house in case I needed to get the kids and get out fast. That was 3 years before the actual divorce. I regret nothing but hanging on so long. Now happily remarried w full custody 8 years now. FU ex wife.
Dainty72 8 months ago
There's bits missing here. Was she a terrible mother? It may seem so, but it's not stated. If she wasn't, that's not the best move for the children. If both parents are good parents then both should have 50/50 access. Obviously not if one parent is toxic and a bad parent. Too many people plan to get over on their partner by planning things and being sly when the other doesn't have a clue about their plan, making him have a huge advantage whit comes to divorce and custody. If she was terrible in most aspects then good for you. She/he can be a terrible partner, but a great parent! Love your children more than you hate each other. Why were the children taken from school and carted off to the mother's place? Like I said, a lot is missing here.
#40
I let her win at card games sometimes. Winner usually chose the movie but I didn’t want her to feel bad by beating her all the time and I wanted to keep playing. I played A LOT of cards in university and could probably beat her 90% of the time.
#41
That he was terrible in bed 🤷🏼♀️ and after he went to bed, I would have to finish myself.
#42
That his breath stank , (I had to remind him daily to brush his teeth).
#43
I wish I had told her how messed up her family dynamic was, how oppressed she was from that. I wish I had told her that life was more than academia and titles. And that I could’ve been more, but I was always going to be an outlier in her families eyes.
Riley Quinn 8 months ago
I'll never understand a person's loyalty to a dysfunctional family over self-loyalty.
#44
That I wish I've never met her.
Natalia Allen 8 months ago
I wanted so much to say this to my last partner. I never have and never could because he is the father of my child. Before people down vote me - the man broke me, my daughter was broken when he left us and I have lived with that brokenness for 10 years and still suffer the effects it had on my child to this day.
#45
How much she really broke me down. Took me years to get my mental back on track.
Dainty72 8 months ago
I went through this twice, but not for year on year because I got out early. It's awful and I hope you're well. The problem with me (maybe not a problem) is because of these issues, I've been on my own for 22 years, but that's by choice and I don't want to be with anyone. I'm happy now, hope you are too!
#46
That his dad revenge cheated on his mom after she had a relationship with another man while they were separated.
She swore me to silence after telling me once night but had to tell someone because her husband wouldn’t stop holding the fact that “she cheated on him” over her head for every argument.
Idgafwyt AllDat'N'ABagOfChips 8 months ago
Not sure of all the facts here, but it seems like mom was with someone else, when they were separated. That's not cheating, in most cases, but deliberately finding someone to have sèx with, just because you learned about your partner doing so, when you weren't in a relationship.
#47
You're not funny enough to be a stand up comic, and You're always going to be a barista.
#49
I faked it every time but I didn't want to hurt their feelings.
#50
That I have never let anyone get that close emotionally, before or since. We stayed friends afterwards, and I wouldn't have gotten back together if she wanted to, but to me we had something special for a while.
What do you think ?
Kim Lorton 8 months ago
Bad breath is also from having a stomach problem, or digestive issue, sometimes even mouth cancer. Continued bad breath means it’s time for a check up.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 8 months ago
One from me: he clearly had bipolar, and his doctor let him down by letting him think it was just depression and the ups were normal. The downs were a consequence of the ups.
Kim Lorton 8 months ago
Bad breath is also from having a stomach problem, or digestive issue, sometimes even mouth cancer. Continued bad breath means it’s time for a check up.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 8 months ago
One from me: he clearly had bipolar, and his doctor let him down by letting him think it was just depression and the ups were normal. The downs were a consequence of the ups.
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