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We all know that wisdom takes time. Just like when you’re a child and burn yourself with an oven, only to realize some surfaces are hot and you'd better stay away from them, so are the other things that require years of constantly learning through your own experience.
So when someone asked a seemingly simple question “What do people learn too late?” on r/AskReddit it immediately resonated with everyone. With 76.4k upvotes and almost 20k comments, we have some of the most illuminating answers below.
From protecting your ears from loud music if you don’t want tinnitus for the rest of your life, to realizing that salary is not the entirety of an equation when it comes to your job satisfaction, these are the things people wish they hadn’t learned the hard way but known it from the beginning.
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#1
You're not obliged to have children of your own. You can be happy and fulfilled without reproducing.
ben woskje 3 years ago
societies obsession with "when are you having kids"... and when you have a kid - "when are you having another" is all types of f****d up. Not everyone is cut out for having kids, some people cant have kids, some people just don't want kids.... leave them alone.
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#2
Don’t worry if you aren’t living an exciting or extravagant life. It’s okay to live simply and quietly. It doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life.
#3
The value of walking away from someone toxic in your life, even if it is your parents and family. If you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place, then do it. It hurts like hell for a long while, but it gets better and one day you realize how peaceful your life is and you find you only miss the family you wish you had had.
#4
Learning when to say no.
Learning how to apologise when it's your fault, and how to not apologise when it's not your fault.
#5
Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.
Isabela Ivan 3 years ago
You are not supposed to like everyone and not everyone has to like you
#6
Many college degrees have no job market.
Trade school is a financially solid option out of high school.
#7
A cat on his back inviting a chesty rub is a trap.
JamezyJamez 3 years ago
I'm really happy that all three of mine welcome them. When I have friends over, most are weary of my claims that their hands and arms are safe, but it's true!
#8
That it's possible to do everything right and still lose. Just life innit.
#10
That's being wrong and changing your mind is actually nothing to be ashamed of.
#11
Don’t ever think it’s ok to “talk” to yourself in a manner you wouldn’t let another human being talk to you.
The biggest abuser I ever had in my life, was my constant companion: the thoughts in my head.
We often take care to choose our words when correcting a child or friend... but if anyone had talked to me, the way I talked to me for 30 straight years, I would have murdered them... and probably got away with it too.
Be nice to yourself, you’re the only you, you have.
#12
That mental & emotional abuse are a real thing.
Red flags.
#14
That being a parent is not always "the most rewarding thing in the world".
Dark Pearl 3 years ago
It's stressful. My mother looks way older than she should, she's always tired and busy... It's horrifying!
#15
The value of a good/unconditional friend.
Vasana Phong 3 years ago
I would rather not have any , then have toxic ones, my husband is my best friend
#17
Knowing when to NOT be nice.
Dark Pearl 3 years ago
At least somebody gets it. My best friend is all sweet and innocent and overly nice, and I just wish that she would be a F*****G BITCH occasionally. Especially to me. I deserve it.
#18
How soul crushing, unproductive, impotent and wasteful worrying about things is.
#19
What not to share on the internet.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I think in the 90ies teens knew not to do this very well. Today's teens however seem to do the opposite and I find that quite worrying. It's going to bite at least some of them in the backside in a nasty way later in life.
#20
That the cliche "you never know when it's the last time you'll see to someone" should absolutely be remembered for every occasion. My best friend just died in a car accident this past Saturday, and the last time I saw him we got in an argument and he left and we didn't speak after that. I'm destroyed by it
lunar eclipse 3 years ago (edited)
Oh gosh. I couldn’t imagine. The last time I spoke to my mother, we had an argument. She went into a coma that night and passed away.
#21
That hating people who are different makes you nothing but unhappy.
#23
That some things can never be undone.
The actions you take and the words you speak will come back around sooner or later.
#24
How short life is.
#25
"Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everybody that helps you is not your friend." - Mike Tyson
Pink Floydian Panda 3 years ago (edited)
Did Iron Mike really say that? That is genuinely profound!
#26
The sun is the worst thing for your skin, it burns you, causes cancer, and gives you wrinkles. SPF is your friend.
Michelle M 3 years ago
100 upvotes for this. But the sun is also needed for Vitamin D..."in little amount"
#28
That happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests, hobbies, and commitments. You are not your job. Your romantic partner cannot be your everything, etc. It's so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close. And there is nothing wrong with caring about your job...you just need more to thrive. I see this so often in relationships. Two people meet and fall in love. They each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements, it's part of what makes them fall in love. But slowly, over time, they let those hobbies go. Stress gets in the way. Bills pile up. And then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever loved this person in the first place. Instead of being sexy and interesting they're just part of a routine.
TLDR: Diversify your interests and activities to be happy. Don't rely on a single person, hobby, or commitment to give you everything you need.
#31
How to communicate.
Michelle M 3 years ago
My grandma used to say that 'Communication is the key to any successful relationship'
#32
To appreciate their youth.
Isabela Ivan 3 years ago
I used to be very critical of myself as ateen, în my 20s....now at 37 i just think how dumb I was
#33
How to not give a [damn] about how others see you.
Seems simple enough for me now in my 20s, but back in high school there were many f**ks given about how others saw me. Ironically, those people that didn’t care how others saw them were often the more respected ones.
#34
Saying “I love you” or wanting to reach out to your family, friends, and loved ones, but crippling anxiety stops you. You never know when it may be too late to say these things, so be in the moment, and live/love in the present authentically.
#35
Interest rates, credit cards, credit score, money saving techniques, 401K. In other words anything that keeps you from being trapped by poor money management.
#36
To stop being afraid of asking or pursuing the things you want in life
Green Machine 3 years ago
No one else will help you be yourself. Don't live for others all the time.
#37
Social media can consume your life. It’s not all real, and not everyone posting pictures is having a great time, and not every “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SHOULD CATCH UP” is genuine.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
So much of social media consists of passing on the latest trendy meme, trolling, or arguing about politics. Very little real communication takes place.
#39
The importance of education. As a kid your always hear generic statements like, "This will help your career" but nothing specific enough to be useful.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I feel like the emphasize on education sucked the joy out of my teen years especially. So I don't agree with this one. Education is important, but don't align your entire childhood to some "career" in the future.
#40
You are your biggest limitation.
What do you think ?
pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
OH and that you can disagree with someone, even on something important, and that doesn't make them a bad person nor does it make you one
Rosie Buckingham 2 years ago
It does if they don't believe in equality. Yes, the are bad people.
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pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
OH and that you can disagree with someone, even on something important, and that doesn't make them a bad person nor does it make you one
Rosie Buckingham 2 years ago
It does if they don't believe in equality. Yes, the are bad people.
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