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30 Parents Who Are Turning Their Teens Against Them With Their Infuriating Actions
Families are built on love and understanding, and most do a pretty good job of raising their kids. For example, in 2023, 70% of American adolescents rated their relationship with their parents as high-quality (at least an 8 out of 10). However, every home has its issues.
Reddit user Kissableecassy recently posted a simple but revealing question: "Teenagers, what's something your parents do that secretly drives you insane?" Nosy questions, rude remarks, violations of personal space; in just a few days, they have received thousands of comments, ranging from inconsequential to hurtful, and they serve as reminders that even seemingly small habits can leave a lasting impression on someone who is still searching for their place in the world.
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#1
When I tried to talk about my feelings or the things my mom did that hurt or upset me, she just immediately turns to this distraught “I’m such a terrible mother!” And the whole conversation stops being about me, working through my issues, and listening to my emotions because I have to side track to comfort HER.
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#2
Making comments when you are doing something productive.
I had a depressive episode when I was a teenager and one day i had finally the strength to clean up my room and it felt sort of liberating. I was actually enjoying it until my mother came into my room said "oh you are cleaning your room like I told you a thousand times".
It killed all my drive. Suddenly i wasn't doing it for myself but for her. It made my depression just much worse.
When your kid is doing something productive, don't say anything. Don't mention it, don't make a comment, just treat it like a normal thing.
Nadine Debard 5 days ago
OMG this, exactly. Or when you're finally about to do something productive and your parent comes and tells you to do it, cuts all the energy.
To get an opinion from the other side of the barricades, we contacted Vicki Broadbent, writer, director, broadcaster, and founder of the award-winning family and lifestyle blog Honest Mum.
She has a toddler, tween, and teen of her own, and told Bored Panda, "I think parents, and I'm guilty of this myself, often forget what it's like to be a teenager, especially as our generations grew up in completely different worlds."
Vicki, author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (the US and Canada) said, "The social media pressures apparent now are huge and most teens would rather stay in and socialize online as opposed to being out in the park or at a disco like I did at their age."
#3
Every single time I would have my girlfriend over my dad would act like he was super proud that I was getting laid and start making all of these weird inappropriate comments about sex and getting girls.
It was just awkward and embarrassing. We aren't douchey frat bros talking about my latest conquest... that's my girlfriend and you're my father. I don't want to talk about sex with you, and I don't want you to make weird sexualized comments as if she was some piece of meat.
#4
Turning everything into a lecture. if im telling you that something bad happened, i dont always need it turned into a life lesson😐.
Many share her sentiments. There are big debates about what it's like to be a teenager these days, and technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.
For example, among the 69% of U.S. parents of 13-to-17-year-olds who say being a teenager today is harder than it was two decades ago, 41% blame social media, 26% cite technology in general (other than social media), 16% point to additional societal pressures and expectations, and 15% believe it’s due to the world or country changing in a negative way.
#5
Coming into my room a lot and without warning, constantly dragging conversations on to make a point, my mom sometimes tells people personal things about me which is also annoying.
Rali Meyer 5 days ago
Well, upvote, actually downvote. You know what I mean. It's unacceptable.
#6
I’m now in my 20s but my mom started doing this whenever I was a teenager and still hasn’t stopped. She’ll say something like “you’re probably going to get mad at me for saying this, but…” and then tell me something unnecessarily rude about my appearance or weight that is entirely unhelpful and uncalled for. I’ve started cutting her off and telling her that maybe she just shouldn’t say it then, but it was a lot harder to stand up to her when I was 14.
T.M.P Janssen 5 days ago
Oh, do I have a sibling I havent met? Sounds like my Mom. "You know me, I'm always honest!" Yeah, but it doesnt have to be uncalled for like this.
"I know I can often be too hard on my teen and tween for being online too much and have to remind myself that the internet is a huge part of their socialization with others, be it playing games or chatting. It's just important to monitor usage to keep them safe," Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum added.
"Parenting teens can be challenging as you help navigate and support them through hormonal changes, friendship woes and the pressure of exams. It takes empathy and tolerance, rather like raising a toddler! Try not to take teens' rages personally. My greatest advice is to try to access therapy yourself so you can show up as the parent you want to be. By doing the above, you will nurture and grow your bond."
#7
My mother always offers to help me, but if I let her, she brings up every individual task she's helped me with the next time she's upset and tells me I've done nothing to deserve her help or her kindness. Now she's angry that I never accept her help and she doesn't understand why I never take gifts from people before knowing what's expected of me in return.
Alfred Wessex 5 days ago
My dad was always “teaching” me how people couldn’t be trusted. He’d do things like imply he would do X for me if I did Y and then not following through once I did. He thought he was teaching me to look out for myself but it just made me not trust him. I think he had okay intentions but it ruined our relationship.
#8
When my parents commented negatively on anything i said or did as their first reaction. It taught me to keep secrets, tell lies and avoid informing them of anything until right before or after it happened.
They once wanted me to get a job, so i did. It was full time seasonal and paid well, just 30min drive. Scolded me for not finding something closer. Made me call my manager and apologize for wasting their time and resign. THEN got mad at me for that and made me call back my manager and ask for my job back, within 10min. I was 16 or 17 at the time.
Next time i got a job i told them as i was leaving the house to said job.
It was really frustrating growing up and always expecting a negative reaction out of the gate.
Broadredpanda 5 days ago
If you’re still going through this today, I’d be NC or at the least LC!!! It’s not healthy for your mind at all. May lead to mental health problems. Hopefully it won’t get that bad.
Fortunately, teens are reporting notable improvements in their mental and physical health, happiness, and motivation compared to the pandemic period. Currently, 45% say their relationships with immediate family have become much or somewhat better, while 49% report the same for their closest friendships. Additionally, 45% feel more motivated, 42% describe themselves as happier, and 49% believe their physical health has improved. Meanwhile, 36% note progress in their mental health, reflecting a positive shift in overall well-being.
#9
I’m an adult now, but my parents used to have a tendency to say “she should NOT be wearing that” when they’d see a plus sized girl wearing literally any normal piece of clothing. Mini skirt, short dress, crop top, tank top.
I’m very thin (due to an eating disorder in High School) and dated girls until I was 24. The 3 major girlfriends I had during that time were all heavier than me, and they’d even say it about them, usually immediately after they’d leave the room. My mom is on the heavier side, so I’m sure it was just self consciousness and lack of confidence on her part, but it drove me f*****g *nuts.*
At one point I remember turning to my mom and saying “and what SHOULD she be wearing?” She didn’t have a response.
#10
I work a full 40 hours a week but if I spend my saturday playing video games, its all i do.
Willie D'Kay 2 days ago
If video games are all you do in your non-working time and it makes you happy, go for it! It was earned!
#11
"I can't find that cat WHAT IF SHE ESCAPED?" "I can't believe you said that, you're totally going to get bullied" "Are you SURE you know where your classes are? I know you checked twice already, but check again" "Why didn't you respond to my text fifteen minutes ago? I was about to call the police!" "Don't go that far up the driveway, someone might kidnap you" "Those pants look baggier on you, have you lost weight? Are you sick? What are you hiding from me?"
... guess who just got diagnosed with anxiety at age 20!
Kise Miarse 5 days ago (edited)
In my 40s and Mom is still trying to displace her anxiety onto me. I feel OP's pain.
#12
Be homophobic (I’m closeted).
Say No to Downvoting 5 days ago
This just breaks my heart so much. I marched in a pride parade with “Free Mum Hugs” and hugged several people this position. I can’t bear the thought of my own kids every feeling this way.
#13
Bursting in my room w/o knocking and then leaving the door open afterwards.
Gavin Johnson 5 days ago
My daughter is 14, I haven’t entered her room without knocking for about 6 years. We all deserve a level of respect and privacy, I’m not hung up about ‘it’s my house so I’ll go where I want’. My daughter and I share the property, she won’t come into my room without knocking and I afford her the same privilege. It ain’t difficult is it?
#15
Not a teen, but still live with my parents. There's a lot of little things that get on my nerves but the one thing that I absolutely hate is my mom asks about my day only to immediately start scrolling on her phone completely ignoring me when I tell her. It's even worse when she randomly starts listening and has no idea what I'm talking about. Worst of all is when I confront her about this she always denys it.
Also my parents love to play videos on their phone out loud especially when I'm trying to read or watch something.
#16
Murmuring, banging the door and not talking to me for days instead of telling me what’s wrong.
#17
They talk all the time about how smart I am. As if I were a child prodigy, a Sheldon Cooper. It bothers me because they place too many expectations on me.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 days ago
It is common for children who are intelligent to be pressured too much to live up to the parents experience stations and suffer breakdowns and mental health issues because of it.
#18
Commenting on my weight.
Bookworm 5 days ago
I wasn't self-conscious about my weight until I was maybe 15, and my mother refused to buy a shirt I wanted unless I got it a size too big, because she thought the line between the two different colors on the shirt 'emphasized my stomach.' I've been worried about what my stomach looks like ever since.
#19
Not a teen, but now that I'm older, a frustration I have is the way they would get annoyed I was doing something imperfectly and then get huffy and take over instead of teaching me the correct way. Despite the fact my mother was an excellent cook, I learned very little about technique or meal planning, cause she would just take over any time I struggled. Might've been easier for her in the short term, and it mildly irked me as a kid, but now I feel really stunted in some areas she absolutely could've helped me in with some more patience.
Rali Meyer 5 days ago
This concerns many actions. There are 100s of different ways to do things. Even boiling an egg. And either way you can eat it.
#20
My Dad works for a company that makes various snack foods. For some reason they always have a s**t tonne of wafer crackers and they always want me to take them. Wtf am I going to do with 1kg of crackers?
Anyone’s parents work for a cheese factory? I got the hook up for wafer crackers.
#21
Telling me I’m angry when I raise my voice but complain they can’t hear me because I’m quiet and mumbly. I can’t help constantly talking in a whisper, but if I speak louder apparently I’m being rude. And now I question if I have anger issues or not because everything I do is me being “angry” according to them.
Erla Zwingle 5 days ago
Of course you're angry -- they are screwing with your brain and spirit. You should be angry. But it's time to fight back. Every time they start this routine, immediately fake deep concern for their hearing. "Are you having trouble hearing me? That's distressing. Have you had a hearing test lately? Maybe you need hearing aids." "Hearing loss is a terrible thing and also puts you at risk in some situations. They're giving a free test at the pharmacy on Saturday, I think you should take it." "I'm worried about your safety if you're having trouble hearing, especially when you're driving." "Costco gives excellent hearing tests and their hearing aids are very reasonably priced." "I'm very sorry that you can't hear me. This doesn't seem like a good sign. Can your doctor give you some advice?" "Can you hear me now? What about now? No?" Don't stop until you've DRIVEN THEM INTO THE GROUND.
#22
It’s when parents don’t listen. They compare my life to theirs. They say, “When I was your age, I had it harder.” That doesn’t help.
Life now is stressful in new ways. School, friends, and social media are hard to balance. Sometimes, I just need them to listen. I don’t need a lecture or a fix. Just listen and try to understand.
Parents, if you’re reading this: we aren’t saying your life was easy. We just want you to see that ours isn’t either. A little kindness goes a long way.
Debbie 5 days ago
Hehehe sometimes I say: Back in my day.... and my son started saying "In the middleages" so now it's a joke between us. I start, you know, in my days, in the middleages, if I was bored my parents told me to take off my socks and play with my toes. Same as his eyeroll - teens are SO good at eyerolls. I've complimented him on it regularly, and even asked for an eyeroll every now and then after I said something. Now everytime he does an eyeroll he waits untill I watch (or repeats it) and we both have to laugh about it. Somehow it instantly can lift the mood.
#23
Every acknowledgement of her wrongdoings is followed by a "but." like how about you just stop making excuses for yourself and say "the way I acted was out of line. I'm sorry.".
kzys59pcrp 5 days ago
The “but” should only be put in to say what the parent did wrong when apologizing. Like when your kid didn’t listen and you yelled at them. Yes they should have listened but you shouldn’t have yelled. So in apology you should say “You should have listened but I’m sorry for yelling” instead of “I’m sorry for yelling but you should have listened.”Word placement matters.
#24
My mother does a lot of stuff I don't like, but one thing that drives me insane is her and my uncles talking about music.
"Music was so much better when we were young! Now they only make stupid songs you can't even dance to during a party! So glad we were raised on good and artistic music!" And so on.
Well since they were children of 80's and 90's what could that music be? Queen? Nirvana? Whitney Houston? Britney Spears? Maybe someting less mainstream?
Well, dear people, they are talking about Bryan Adams. They want all the music to sound like Bryan Adams. They think that good music ended with the end of Bryan Adams' carrier. They think that Bryan Adams was the last one truly good musican and after that, this world has only ever produced the worst songs imaginable. I don't know what else to write.
They act like listening to Bryan Adams's songs is this very niche and special thing that "youngsters" just don't understand, like it's opera or something.
I don't have anyting against the fact that they like a musician I don't really like, but they are so damn pretentious about it, while telling me to get off of my "high horse" for listening to music without words. I just like instrumentals. It's absurd.
#25
Not a teen, but something my dad said he learned from me when I was a kid was to not compare me (and my siblings) to other people’s kids.
Our mom used to always do that, she would constantly say “Why can’t you be more like **name**?” It bothered me because it wasn’t like she was comparing “bad” kid to good kid. She just had friends whose children were talented in ways that she had hoped we would be (musically, academically, in sports.) We had our own talents and did average in school, but that was still grounds for not being good enough.
I felt comfortable telling my dad how hurt I was every time mom said those things. So he said he learned right away to not compare us to others like that (my parents are still married, this all happened under the same household.).
Dusty's mom 5 days ago
Would have been nice if Dad spoke up for you when Mom was on a comparison rampage.
#26
Telling personal information to anyone who gives them 5 minutes of their time.
Michael Largey 5 days ago
Telling people things about me that were lies because it made a good story.
#27
Everything I do is wrong. I get asked by Dad a lot why I don't tell him things, but whenever I do he has a problem with it.
#28
Adult now, but it was definitely second guessing anything adventurous I wanted to do. Going out to a party... watch out, they do d***s at parties. Going on a road trip... watch out, you could get hit by a drunk driver. Going on a vacation... watch out for thieves and muggers. Just a constant burden of worry and warning for anything I wanted to do.
And that burden became so heavy I just stopped trying to do things after a while, or simply would do things without telling them. Sometimes I think they were so worried that I might die that it never crossed their minds that I would never live.
#29
Interrupting my relaxation time constantly.
#30
Spying on my bank account even though I'm 18 now. I just don't want her seeing my purchase history.
What do you think ?
Mari 5 days ago
Parents are just people. They make lot of mistakes. But it is the intention that counts: is their intention to help you (even in a wrong way) or to destroy you?
L Sarris 5 days ago
100%, one day you will know what its like to be shut out of your kids life after spending over 10 yrs with them occupying your every moment. A lot of these sound like awkward attempts to communicate with a hostile or sensitive teen. Rejection hurts parents too.
Load More Replies...
Debbie 5 days ago
I can see the viewpoint of the teenagers, but I wonder if they can see the viewpoint of the parents? about a quarter of the posts were toxic/very wrong imo, but the others only if it was in extremes. Some of them I found amusing because they are so true, and when I was a teenager I'd have joined the complaints, but now as a parent I see the other side. As a parent, you have to teach your children to talk, show them how to behave, how things work etc. You teach them when you raise them. Those lectures? It's the teaching that is ingrained in my mum-being. I can still get SO annoyed when my mom reacts seriously to a joke, and then I roll my eyes to my sister (I'm 44) like... it was just a joke... And I do the same to my son! I try not to do it as much as my mom, but the knowledge just wants to come out sometimes. I'm my parents child, and I'm a parent. I'm not perfect, and the teenage years is when children realize this. Mom has flaws and annoying habets. Mom is only being human....
Bookworm 5 days ago
Where do I start? My mother emotionally terrorized me growing up, mostly because I did badly in school due to the symptoms of what I suspect was undiagnosed ADD, and *she* always got As in school. She still brings several of these incidents up as 'funny stories,' and I can't say anything because I can't move out and if I get upset and ask her to stop, she gets offended and refuses to drive me to work so I have to get a ride share I can't afford. Dad was and remains a spineless human who says infuriating c**p like 'you can't blame the sky for being blue' when any of this is mentioned, and once left me alone in the house with Mom to go for a jog immediately after I told him she'd threatened to hit me. Hopefully someday I can get out of here.
dancebunny 5 days ago
My, my what a lot of perfect children we have here. When I was young I moaned about my mother, she moaned about her mother. Today’s teens will also be considered dumb, cruel, out of touch etc when they are parents of teenagers. Wish I could be around to see it 😆
The Redhead 5 days ago
I'm in my 40's now but throughtout my life it my parents always freaked out whenever I told them anything, so I always felt awkward talking to them. One incident that stands out to me & I associate with not discussing my life, friends, etc with them happened when I was in the 6th grade. A friend at school claimed to me and a few others that she had been "discovered" by a film maker. I knew she was just making up a story, in an attempt to get me to believe her she said "well don't be surprised when a limo pulls up to your house." At home that night I was telling my parents the story over dinner and my dad said to be in an authoritarian way "you'd better not run off to California." I was 12 years old I wasn't stupid, I knew she was lying. But in that one moment I made up my mind to keep my social life to myself. For the most part I still keep my life to myself.
Michael Largey 5 days ago
A schoolmate of mine tried to commit suicide. His mother told him that she would pay for one - and only one - session with a psychiatrist. Decades later when she died, he was not at her bedside.
steaky 5 days ago
Haven't heard it the last two year's (distance does help) Whenever I actually would express my feelings, she always said in a very loud way " finally you are expressing yourself". Thanks mum, that reply doesn't help at all. Having autism and difficulties with emotions is not the one thing I need to be reminded off, whenever I feel in such a stress I no longer can hide my emotions.
Ruth Watry 4 days ago
One of 7 kids. Always telling us that the other 6 were better than me (set all of my siblings against each other - we rarely see each other as adults), and only bragging to the family or neighbors if it made he look like a good mom (she was not).
Debbie 4 days ago
Bp, The list is now shortened to the first 30, the rest is behind a paywall and I have commented on something that is lower in the list. I cannot see replies to my comment and although I can see my comment via my profile, I can't edit or delete it. If I can't edit, delete or respond to replies then don't make my comment behind the paywall visible to people!!!
Cosmos in your eyes 5 days ago
I'm a parent to an almost teen. I appreciated learning from teens reading through their thoughts! Thank you all for sharing, some of these stories will help me be a better parent to my almost teen. <3
Rahul Pawa 5 days ago
Ok, here's my notes on how to be a better parent: 1) Listen. 2) Be kind. 3) Don't make it about me. 4) Respect privacy. 5) Don't gossip. 6) Don't compare my kid to other kids. --- I think I can do this! 🤓
TotallyNOTAFox 5 days ago (edited)
I'm not a teenager, but what really drives me insane lately is that my mother forces engagements with me and my nephews every time we visit my sister. "Your uncle can do that with you", "Does your uncle get a hug too?" etc. - I have 0 zero interest in interacting with children, and I honestly couldn't care less about my sister's family
Mari 5 days ago
Parents are just people. They make lot of mistakes. But it is the intention that counts: is their intention to help you (even in a wrong way) or to destroy you?
L Sarris 5 days ago
100%, one day you will know what its like to be shut out of your kids life after spending over 10 yrs with them occupying your every moment. A lot of these sound like awkward attempts to communicate with a hostile or sensitive teen. Rejection hurts parents too.
Load More Replies... Debbie 5 days ago
I can see the viewpoint of the teenagers, but I wonder if they can see the viewpoint of the parents? about a quarter of the posts were toxic/very wrong imo, but the others only if it was in extremes. Some of them I found amusing because they are so true, and when I was a teenager I'd have joined the complaints, but now as a parent I see the other side. As a parent, you have to teach your children to talk, show them how to behave, how things work etc. You teach them when you raise them. Those lectures? It's the teaching that is ingrained in my mum-being. I can still get SO annoyed when my mom reacts seriously to a joke, and then I roll my eyes to my sister (I'm 44) like... it was just a joke... And I do the same to my son! I try not to do it as much as my mom, but the knowledge just wants to come out sometimes. I'm my parents child, and I'm a parent. I'm not perfect, and the teenage years is when children realize this. Mom has flaws and annoying habets. Mom is only being human....
Bookworm 5 days ago
Where do I start? My mother emotionally terrorized me growing up, mostly because I did badly in school due to the symptoms of what I suspect was undiagnosed ADD, and *she* always got As in school. She still brings several of these incidents up as 'funny stories,' and I can't say anything because I can't move out and if I get upset and ask her to stop, she gets offended and refuses to drive me to work so I have to get a ride share I can't afford. Dad was and remains a spineless human who says infuriating c**p like 'you can't blame the sky for being blue' when any of this is mentioned, and once left me alone in the house with Mom to go for a jog immediately after I told him she'd threatened to hit me. Hopefully someday I can get out of here.
dancebunny 5 days ago
My, my what a lot of perfect children we have here. When I was young I moaned about my mother, she moaned about her mother. Today’s teens will also be considered dumb, cruel, out of touch etc when they are parents of teenagers. Wish I could be around to see it 😆
The Redhead 5 days ago
I'm in my 40's now but throughtout my life it my parents always freaked out whenever I told them anything, so I always felt awkward talking to them. One incident that stands out to me & I associate with not discussing my life, friends, etc with them happened when I was in the 6th grade. A friend at school claimed to me and a few others that she had been "discovered" by a film maker. I knew she was just making up a story, in an attempt to get me to believe her she said "well don't be surprised when a limo pulls up to your house." At home that night I was telling my parents the story over dinner and my dad said to be in an authoritarian way "you'd better not run off to California." I was 12 years old I wasn't stupid, I knew she was lying. But in that one moment I made up my mind to keep my social life to myself. For the most part I still keep my life to myself.
Michael Largey 5 days ago
A schoolmate of mine tried to commit suicide. His mother told him that she would pay for one - and only one - session with a psychiatrist. Decades later when she died, he was not at her bedside.
steaky 5 days ago
Haven't heard it the last two year's (distance does help) Whenever I actually would express my feelings, she always said in a very loud way " finally you are expressing yourself". Thanks mum, that reply doesn't help at all. Having autism and difficulties with emotions is not the one thing I need to be reminded off, whenever I feel in such a stress I no longer can hide my emotions.
Ruth Watry 4 days ago
One of 7 kids. Always telling us that the other 6 were better than me (set all of my siblings against each other - we rarely see each other as adults), and only bragging to the family or neighbors if it made he look like a good mom (she was not).
Debbie 4 days ago
Bp, The list is now shortened to the first 30, the rest is behind a paywall and I have commented on something that is lower in the list. I cannot see replies to my comment and although I can see my comment via my profile, I can't edit or delete it. If I can't edit, delete or respond to replies then don't make my comment behind the paywall visible to people!!!
Cosmos in your eyes 5 days ago
I'm a parent to an almost teen. I appreciated learning from teens reading through their thoughts! Thank you all for sharing, some of these stories will help me be a better parent to my almost teen. <3
Rahul Pawa 5 days ago
Ok, here's my notes on how to be a better parent: 1) Listen. 2) Be kind. 3) Don't make it about me. 4) Respect privacy. 5) Don't gossip. 6) Don't compare my kid to other kids. --- I think I can do this! 🤓
TotallyNOTAFox 5 days ago (edited)
I'm not a teenager, but what really drives me insane lately is that my mother forces engagements with me and my nephews every time we visit my sister. "Your uncle can do that with you", "Does your uncle get a hug too?" etc. - I have 0 zero interest in interacting with children, and I honestly couldn't care less about my sister's family
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