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If you’re a person who dates men, what’s the first thing that catches your eye in a potential suitor? Is it how they can make you laugh without even trying, how they surprise you with coffee or flowers for no reason other than to make you smile, how they never fail to ask you about your day and actually listen to how you’re feeling, or how they have an extremely large and expensive collection of sneakers in their closet that no one is allowed to touch? Chances are, it’s not the latter. 

But for some reason, men often have a warped sense of what others actually find attractive and impressive. From bragging about being a workaholic to boasting about their video game skills, women on Reddit have recently been sharing the things men think will impress them that tend to have the opposite effect. Below, we’ve gathered a list of these unappealing tendencies, so be sure to upvote the ones that make your roll your eyes as well. 

Keep reading to also find an interview with dating coach Hayley Quinn to hear her thoughts on the topic, and then, if you’re interested in checking out a Bored Panda article discussing things men have no reason to feel insecure about when dating, you can find that right here!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs The d**k pic. They expect us to be impressed, actually it just makes us run away and block.

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BobTDG
BobTDG
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No-one finds this attractive. I'm attracted to men and women and I don't think it's attractive either

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To gain some insight on this topic from an expert, we reached out to UK-based dating coach Hayley Quinn, who was kind enough to have a chat with us about why it’s so common for men to say the wrong thing when trying to impress women. “One of the most common dating questions men might have is, ‘How do I impress her?’,” Hayley told Bored Panda. “Men often enter into the world of dating believing that women need to do certain things to make women like them: Whether that's having a witty story to share, taking her on the perfect date, or driving a fast car.”

“We are all consumers, and often the stories we are told through the media about what romance is all about, don't tally up with people's experience of it in real life,” she explained. “Ironically, trying to impress often comes across as try hard and insecure. If a guy's tried to impress you in a way that's had the opposite effect (provided he hasn't said anything that's inappropriate or offensive), try to look past that initial faux pas to his intention, which is often to build a connection with you.”

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#2

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Please drop the “alpha male” shtick. It’s exhausting.

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Vix Spiderthrust
Vix Spiderthrust
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And based on science so bad that the guy who published the paper has retracted his findings.

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#3

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Driving like a lunatic while you're in the car, Yeah you are so hot when you could potentially kill us both...Not!!

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But we can’t completely blame men for accidentally saying the wrong things, because none of us are immune to it. “Trying too hard, in the wrong ways, to impress someone isn't just something heterosexual men do,” Hayley says. “We can all be guilty of wanting someone to like us so much that we're no longer authentic with them. If you're a woman dating a man, be mindful of when you also might be going into ‘performance mode’. Are you spending too much time trying to show him why he should choose you, instead of experiencing the relationship and also working out if he's good for you?”

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#4

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Gym selfies.

Any kind of macho posturing. I like secure men. Not ones who have to make a point of how "alpha" they are.

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InvincibleRodent
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Additionally, referring to oneself as an "alpha"/"sigma"/any letter of the Greek alphabet.

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#5

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Being an "expert" on anything and everything, while simultaneously never admitting they don't know something.

Just admit when you don't know something! I won't think less of you! Quite the contrary.

Ackbar_and_Grille , svitlanah Report

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#6

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Talking about their skills in bed. Those who are good at things don’t need to brag about them.

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When it comes to things men can do or say that might actually impress women, Hayley says, “Often the most impressive qualities are candor and authenticity. Rather than hiding behind overly elaborate gestures, or a chat up line you've been rehearsing, share your truth. If you can be open with someone it builds emotional intimacy with them.”

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“Just be mindful to keep your conversations playful, and light, in the early stages of getting to know someone,” she added. “This signals to the woman you're dating that you're not that emotionally invested yet, until you get to know her better. By demonstrating to her that you also have high standards for the women you interact with, and that you haven't chosen her yet, you do a lot to present yourself as a man who is self confident, and attractive.”
#7

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Insulting other women as a way of ‘complimenting’ me.

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Kitti B.
Kitti B.
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! It just shows how this man would act like behind a woman's back or if they broke up

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#8

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Telling me how to do things I already know how to do.

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Hotdogking
Hotdogking
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god this just reminded me of one time this guy in my sister’s class tried to mansplain periods to her. Yes, you read that right. F*****g. PERIODS!! 😬😬

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#9

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Owning a surplus of weapons

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Finally, we asked Hayley if men should be given the benefit of the doubt when they say these unappealing things, or if they should be taken as red flags that women should steer clear of. “A lot of men might make a misguided comment or two in the early stages of dating. Provided he hasn't leapt over your personal boundaries, I would be empathetic to a little bit of humble bragging, or trying too hard on a first date,” Hayley says. “As he relaxes more, he may become more confident with you.”

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“However, do be careful of any behaviors that could be love bombing,” she warns. “Love bombing is when a potential date, or a guy you've only known for a short period of time, tries to sweep you off your feet with elaborate gestures and gifts. Whilst this might feel romantic, remember that he hasn't actually had time to get to know who you really are, and these sweet gestures could be a facade for his desire to control you.”

If you’d like to learn more dating advice or reach out to Hayley for help in your own love-life, be sure to visit her website right here!
#10

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Telling me any story where you slide in details about how some girl was flirting with you or otherwise wanted you “so bad”….

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Szirra
Szirra
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can comfortably assume the other girl was just nice and said Hallo or doesn’t even know the guy exists.

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#11

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs The size of their p***s, the size of their bank account, the size of their house ... the size of basically friggin' anything.

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#12

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Trying to low key assert how wealthy they are. I went on a date with this guy one time who kept hinting at things he could afford and kept mentioning how lucky he was to have such a good salary. On top of that he didn’t ask me anything about myself. It just felt icky to be honest. I want to form a genuine connection dude.

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scag$y
scag$y
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just theorising so please don't downvote me to hell. But I think young lads are embarrassed to discuss their feelings about the opposite sex, in case they get ridiculed. They see James Bond, Stormzy or David Beckham with all their designer clothes, fancy watches and supercars, and think that's how to be attractive to women. So that's how they approach dating. They keep getting rejected but can't understand why. Eventually, they meet a girl who likes that stuff too, and they get married, become influencers and spend their shallow little lives wondering why nobody likes them.

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#13

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Big muscles. I think other men are often attracted to them though.

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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big muscles and too small t-shirts look absolutely ridiculous, contrary to the expectations 🙃

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#14

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Talking about fights he had gotten in. I once went on a date with a guy who brought up fights he had gotten in in the past at least 5 separate times, I felt like I was on a date with a high schooler but he was mid-20s.

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Xottel
Xottel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once got into a fight as a teenager. After a serious brawl I suggested we call it a draw. My opponent just nodded their beak and swam back onto the pond.

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#15

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Doing something dangerous or reckless. You’re an adult! Please do not drive like a getaway driver or an F1 racer! I don’t want to die on the highway because you need to impress me with your driving skills! I’m not impressed - I’m terrified, angry, and (assuming I survive this) taking a Lyft home.

This goes for whatever other dumb s**t guys do that could result in loss of life or limb or catastrophic property damage.

ktkatq , jacoblund Report

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Hotdogking
Hotdogking
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In fairness, we don’t always do that stuff to impress women. At least in the case of me and my mates, we do stupid and dangerous stuff because we think, “Oh, this’ll be a laugh” or, more commonly, “hold me beer and watch this”. By the time the thught of, “this may cause us some great injury,” we’re already doing it. I could probably fill a “Why women live longer than men” list all by myself lol

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#16

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Trying to talk to you about something you're knowledgeable in and they are not but they spew this surface level b******t as if it should be impressive. They're explaining to you/mansplaining your area of expertise. They don't ask you more because they want to know more, they often quiz you " wow, you actually know something" or the compliments are backhanded or patronizing (like that's impressive for A GIRL)

Completely different than trying to relate/convey your mutual like of a subject. You don't have to be on the same level to talk about a subject, but it comes with a tone that respects your thoughts also and isn't abkut showmanship.

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#17

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Any kind of uninvited intimate contact... like that time at the fitness park, I was throwing myself at the climbing wall on my 7th circuit, and out of nowhere, I felt hands on my a*s *helping* me over the wall and he actually had the balls to walk around the wall to offer to train me

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Magpie
Magpie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG that is a grope by any other name. Creepy, uninvited and patronizing.

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#18

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Talking about themselves 24/7. Anything and everything. For crying out loud, ask a question.

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Magpie
Magpie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And *listen* to the answer, take it in, remember it and maybe even respond to what I actually said.

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#19

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs B**ching about their Ex. Honey, No. You're telling on yourself.

One-upping me. I sometimes do comedy and if they find out they tend to try to "tell me this one you can use on stage" and sweetheart your recycled Dad joke only gets a laugh when I'm telling my mates how sad you are.

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Megan Curl
Megan Curl
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First comment, very funny - should have just stopped there.

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#20

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Massive compliments although you barely know each other, without any actions what so ever. Talk is cheap. I'm not sold.

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#21

Revving their engine at a stop light.

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#22

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs That they read a book or watched a movie written/directed by a woman - and liked it! - so now they are an expert on women’s issues. Substitute in any marginalized group and it’s just as cringey.

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Groundcontroltomajortom
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least this is misguided ignorance rather than full blown ignorance. They're trying which is more than some!

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#23

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Body counts for how many women they've slept with.

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#24

If they want to explain my feelings to me, when I haven’t asked for it, then it’s over lol

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Donkey boi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My therapist tried to do his all the time! Glad I left him!

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#25

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Cars. I prefer the reliable beater that screams “I’m paid off!” and “he’s financially sound!” Anything flashy or expensive and I’m not looking twice… especially if it’s a big truck.

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big truck = republican. If I were a woman I'd never date a guy with a pickup truck. I find them invariably patronising, patriarchal, and racist.

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#26

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Money. It's really transparent and just unattractive to me in general when someone constantly talks about money.

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James016
James016
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't talk about money as I don't have any to talk about

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#27

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs I went on a first date with a university professor who brought out his positive end-of-term eval scores. Spent a good 15 or so minutes reading some of them to me and explaining that he got first or second highest in his dept. before asking me to rate him on his first date skills.

I was enjoying a good buzz and couldn’t help but find it amusing. We also got into how his dad never gave him validation growing up

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Fembot
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that last bit though ;) there’s clearly a sense of humour in there

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#28

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Working all the time or staying up all night for projects. I like sleep and balance

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Megan Curl
Megan Curl
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This could be a red flag, or it could also be situational, but if it bothers you, moving on is the best choice.

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#29

Talking about partying and girls. Like "look at all the girls I've gotten!" Nothing makes me lose interest faster.

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#30

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Not something specific, but I am not super impressed by general bragging - humble or otherwise. Being genuinely humble is much more impressive to me!

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Mickysixxx
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me neither, I never brag. Actually some of my friends say I'm the most humble person they know............

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#31

Shouting into the streets how much they're into you. When I see it in movies now I shudder. Protip: they will shout into the streets that they hate you when you break up - and since they can't regulate their emotions that is ~scary~.

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Szirra
Szirra
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same for men who love bomb. They will hate bomb once it’s over.

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#32

Locker room-type talk. I've been out with dudes that didn't know how to talk to a woman. I'm sure this sort of convo would impress their dude-bro friends, but not a woman. This mostly happened when I was younger.

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David
David
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Locker room talk seemed gross to me even when I was a teen boy in the HS locker room.

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#33

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Being "funny". A natural sense of humor is very attractive but I've been on too many dates with guys who tried to awkwardly cram their tight five into casual conversation. You start to feel like a captive audience more than an active participate on the date and the non-stop riffing bulldozes any chance at a genuine connection.

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Hotdogking
Hotdogking
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Allow me to play the Devil’s advocate and say that they could be using it as a coping mechanism to calm their nerves. Don’t get me wrong that does sound really annoying, but don’t immediately assume their doing to impress you. Although, that kind of only applies to meeting them for the first time upon further inspection

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#34

Bragging about how many followers they have on Instagram or how their friends are Instagram famous.

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#35

When they say they have no red flags. Stupid me

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#36

Acting like sexual attraction to someone is somehow soooo flattering. Dude, please.

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Lama
Lama
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, the whole 'you should be honored I'm into you' thing. Very tiresome.

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#37

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Calling themselves a feminist or a "good guy." Texting that they just got back from the gym.

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JoyfulZebra
JoyfulZebra
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just trying understand: is this person saying that guys can't be feminist, or are they talking about guys who talk about how "feminist" they are while being sexist?

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#38

Talking about their 'very sophisticated' wine/liquor/beer/food standards, or any monologue that paints them as the arbiter of good taste or worthwhile interests/hobbies. Also, treating other people's otherwise wholesome interests as stupid or basic or something.

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#39

Their car, fancy clothes, trying to show off their “knowledge” and “intellect” by mansplaining things to me and giving unsolicited advice, being too “generous” or as I’d like to call it “flippant with money”… basically anything showboaty. I do not want to eat at a tapas restaurant which will cost us $70 each for potatoes and sardines and cocktails PRE-COVID. Like dude we work in the same industry I know approx how much you earn. Leasing that $55k car just tells me that you 1) live with your parents and 2) are not saving as much money as I am with those spending habits.

Clearly I had a guy in mind lol.

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Xanther
Xanther
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can tell a lot about a person based on the Car, Phone, and Watch they have. Like, surprisingly a lot about them and their personality.

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#40

Bragging about the other girls you’re dating and what you’re doing with them.

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Pink Aesthetic
Pink Aesthetic
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's such a red flag, treating women like they're something you own

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#41

Putting down other men, although I am encountering that a lot less as I get older.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably because as the men you date get older, they find it hard to pick the other men up in the first place. The idea of it is already hurting my back.

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#42

“Nothing Makes Me Lose Interest Faster”: 45 Things Men Do To Impress Women That Are Actually Turn-Offs Virtue signaling - so transparent

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#43

Acting entitled to admiration for having a home, a car, and a job.


Like, congrats? You are an adult. Having basic adult responsibilities does not make you “successful.”

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#44

Talking really loud about how amazing you are.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Er... I can think of a demographic which does this and it comprises about 150 million people.

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#45

Providing a quasi highlights reel about their career.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, if it’s a first-date and you’re getting to know someone, the question about work will obviously come up…maybe they’re just over sharing?

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