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In one of her pieces for The Guardian, writer Gaby Hinsliff argues that it's time for people to stop rolling their eyes whenever they hear someone say "modern male struggle".
To get a better understanding of what it entails, let's take a look at a Reddit thread that asked the platform's men what they want to stop being judged for.
From their physical features to how they behave in public, continue scrolling to check out some of their top-voted replies.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Being short. Literally no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they *can* control.
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
Literally I’ve never understood why people (especially men) get judged for being short
RELATED:
#2
Drinking cocktails instead of beer. Or “girly drinks”. It’s my money dammit and I’m gonna drink something that tastes good
#3
Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids, the majority of men arnt pedophiles.
Dan Padgett 2 years ago
I sometimes get funny looks when I'm at the park with my own kid. Majority of men are not pedophiles and woman can also be them... So yeah.
#4
Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok, but in adulthood I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone.
#5
complimenting another man.
Rocke-Road 2 years ago
This is so true! Men should be treated the same respect as talking to a someone of the same gender as a woman does!
#6
Having hobbies people define as effeminate.
Such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that.
Elaborating, I love gardening myself, I have a growing garden myself and it has helped immensely with anger issues I used to have, and I’ve had guests over who always assume it’s a product of my wife’s work, which is why I mentioned it.
Liam Walsh 2 years ago
All of which are jobs that men do, some quite famously so. Really silly to think it is effeminate when it's a hobby.
#7
Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer.
Dan Padgett 2 years ago
Pffft, I took it all, then took my holidays right after it. Wasn't just my wife who made the baby.
Michael Travis Risner 2 years ago
Sounds like you're fortunate to have had a job where you HAD paternity leave. When my son was born I cashed in all of my vacation hours. My work didn't have paternity leave.
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Elin Sandman 2 years ago
Me and my husband took our paternity leave at the same time and both stayed home with our baby for 10 months. We aren’t rich at all but managed! People were so chocked that my husband was at home with me caring for the baby. We are doing it again in January!
Jane Ellen 2 years ago
Yes, but she put a lot more time and effort into it, and not just the fun part at the start!!!!!!!
Lene 2 years ago
My bf took up to 2-3 months paternity leave for each of our 3 kids. I really like that he had the opportunity to bond with each of our kids like that. :)
Henry Shane 2 years ago
We don't have issue's doing this if it makes sense to do, no one stops us or makes us feel abs about this. All you get it congratulations and gifts.
Bubs623 2 years ago
My son in law is taking his now and it has been a huge blessing. He and my daughter live with us and my daughter had an extremely traumatic birth and labour. I was able to help her heal physically and mentally and he was able to take care of the baby. It was a group effort and he was able to bond with the baby. It has been amazing to watch them. This may be a blanket statement, but in my experience, men who are becoming fathers now are way more involved, more hands on, more interested and educated on taking care of newborns.
Martin Krogh 2 years ago
Actually, in Denmark I think it's seen as a very manly thing - like a grown up thing to do, when the man takes the portion of leave he can with the baby :-)
#9
Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes we're too exhausted.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Most of me is always ready for sex. But the body, unfortunately, is not a democracy.
#10
Taking long showers. I wish that I was able to take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I'm having a wank.
I just want to enjoy hot water, it's relaxing.
Mihai Mara 2 years ago
That's what a wanker would say :)))))) Joke aside, don't waste water for taking 30 minutes showers.
#11
Stoicism. I get it's the modern era and people wanna be open about their feelings and be free to cry. But it cuts both ways. If a man wants to keep their emotions private and in check, he shouldn't be judged as being regressive or cold.
Valerian Haven 2 years ago
Everyone is different and experiences emotions in unique ways. We should all be able to express that how we see fit as long as we are not hurting or hindering others or ourselves. No two people experience emotions the same way. So who can say what is right and what is wrong.
#12
not peeing standing up. sitting is so much more comfortable
#13
Being shy
Michael Largey 2 years ago
We who appear strong and silent are more often timid and terrified.
#14
For not having a house, not having a car, or not being financially stable. I'm doing what I can, ok?
#15
Getting physically taken care of, for instance massage, spa that kind of thing. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing.... especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, you know "man" stuff
#16
Expressing ourselves.
My wife is pregnant and has a full time job, since she’s been pregnant I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, taking care of her (When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day, I refuse to have her do any work) etc. This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, vehicle maintenance, etc. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed.
I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my a*s lately, but anyone on the outside think men do nothing during this time. Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (Or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband.
I get it though, there are some really s****y guys out there and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama.
#17
Parenting kids, Working in primary education and being babysitters. People just automatically assume that when a man is doing these things that he’s a pedophile and not to be trusted. But women are never suspect? It doesn’t make sense. If you are concerned with protecting your kids from unsavory individuals, do a background check.
Martin Krogh 2 years ago
I'm a father of 3 - all past the kindergarten era. Some of the very best, and most popular pedagogues was the men - they had an awesome take on the kids, played with them very different than the female pedagogues, and was loved by the children. However they were forced to work under crazy conditions, could never be alone with a child, not change a diaper. I sadden me that the law suspected them, so they had special rules... They were the best!
#18
Existing.
I'm not a rapist because I'm out at night. I'm not a predator because I have a child in my company. I'm not dangerous because you're defenseless. I'm not a creep because you can't tell why I'm there. I'm not an incel because you don't have empathy for men.
#19
Getting a sports car or new clothes or s**t. I couldn't afford the cars I wanted when I was younger. It's not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn't when they were younger. Maturity is not defined by one's hobbies or interests. And I just like the car.
#20
Taking the sudden wide step to free our balls from sticking to our thigh
Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
I've unironically worn certain sex toys under my clothes because they prevent this. I swear someone should invent a bra for balls
#21
Having trust issues with women. We are suppose to accept women have trust issues with men, but guys are taken less seriously even when they have solid reasons.
Kawazoe 2 years ago
Women have been awful to my hubby in the past, cheating on him, being violent towards him etc. I admire him for not becoming bitter, though he'd have every reason to. We talk things through so there are no trust issues, luckily I understand myself enough to explain why I sometimes act the way I do. Boys and men have often treated me like I'm less than and I'd say I'm more bitter at times than he is.
#22
Being close to their parents. Just because a man is close to his parents/ mother doesn’t mean he’s a “mamas boy.”
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
And nobody ever considers that maybe their parents need support and not the other way around
#23
Bringing up something that bothers them about their partner, from the major to minor issues.
Honestly, having to deal with the 2 hour long fallout about how said issues make YOUR PARTNER FEEL after they hear it, makes it not worth it. So that s**t gets bottled up.
#26
“Patriarchy” or being a sucessfull white man even though I was born in poverty..
It’s not my fault the world was how it was before I was born.. I don’t belittle women or think they are lesser..
Eric Speed 2 years ago
True - you don't have to be judged for something what was created before your time. But you have the responsibility to change things now. Just not to think that women are lesser is unfortunately not enough for a change. Work actively against patriarchic structures whereever you can!
#27
Being happy. Idc if we're wearing PPE and everyone on this jobsite is a depressed alcoholic, I'm gonna whistle once in a while and wear my SpongeBob socks.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
My husband has an insulated Hello, Kitty lunch bag that he carries proudly. I worked a corporate job that I loved. I was the VP/Operations assistant and for Christmas one year he gave me a hot pink lunch box (with thermos!) with Mickey & Minnie Mouse at a 50's style diner with a card that said "remember not to take yourself too seriously". Loved that guy.
#28
Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn't mean they can't handle kids or don't like kids. Most likely, it just means they're new to it.
#29
Complimenting women. I was walking past this lady with brilliant bright pink hair and said "I love your hair". She looked at me like I was insane... :(
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
It's either flattering or creepy - depending on how the guy looks. Being judgy based on appearance is something both genders do. (In reference to the red flag "How a man treats ugly women")
#30
I’m a woman but Id like to share based on what I’ve seen other women judge men on that they genuinely should not be. There’s more but these are the most immediate thoughts.
-liking to spend time with their SO. It’s amazing how many women think it’s weird their man actually wants to spend a lot of time with them
-wanting to/hanging with the boys
-liking/playing video games
-liking/playing with toys
-taking care of themselves (grooming, self care)
-not being handymen
-crying, being vulnerable
-seeking or needing help with mental health issues
-not wanting kids
-not being financially stable or secure or just generally not having their career life together by a certain age
-still living with parents in late 20’s+
What do you think ?
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
maswartz 2 years ago
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
Load More Replies...
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Dirk Daring 2 years ago (edited)
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Rocky Wheelwright 2 years ago (edited)
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
SomeoneTookMySweetRoll 1 year ago
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Brent Haskins 1 year ago
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
XenoMurph 2 years ago
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
Load More Replies... 
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
maswartz 2 years ago
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
Load More Replies... Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Dirk Daring 2 years ago (edited)
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Rocky Wheelwright 2 years ago (edited)
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
SomeoneTookMySweetRoll 1 year ago
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Brent Haskins 1 year ago
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
XenoMurph 2 years ago
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
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