Men Are Listing Things That Society Deems ‘Too Girly’ But They Like Them Anyway (40 Posts)
Stereotypes heaped on top of even more stereotypes. Sometimes it feels like life is just one never-ending generalization about how people should act instead of looking at the reality of how they actually behave. Case in point, the men of Reddit have been sharing all the things—big and small—that they love doing but that society considers to be feminine or ‘just for girls.’
And, you know what? The thread, started up by redditor Schright_dwute, is surprisingly refreshing. It’s full of honesty, good humor, and so many genuine answers, it might just help you relax and forget all of your troubles for a moment. It’s pleasant to read about people talking about what they love.
Check out some of the best responses below, upvote your fave ones, and let us know what you thought of the topic in the comment section below.
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I'm a guy with hair down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. One evening, I was hanging out with a bunch of friends when one of them decided she wanted to braid my hair. Oh my God did it feel amazing! I love the feeling of someone else playing with my hair.
I'm a woman and I don't like that feeling. See? It's a matter of taste, not gender! :)
I sleep with stuffed animals. I’m a grown man. I do not care.
Crying and showing strong emotion is not something I like but everyone always says "boys don't cry" and I'm sick of that.
Relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, told Bored Panda upfront that both men and women are completely free to do whatever ‘girly’ or ‘manly’ activities they want. However, Dan highlighted the simple fact that people will always judge one another and there’s nothing we can do to change that. Instead, it’s best to focus on how we feel about being judged.
“Even the most popular and most liked people in the world are negatively judged. There’s no escaping being judged. So, you just have to do what you want to do in life. You are here to live your own life on your own terms, not the life that others seem to want you to live.”
He continued: “It may upset some people, but they are not living your life. They don’t feel the way you feel. You’ve just got to go ahead and spend your time doing the things you really want to do deep down.”
Some women's bodywash/soaps/lotions. The men's stuff just smell like overaggressive nose-destroyers. The fact that these products are marketed to two different sexes doesn't even make sense...
Sitting down while peeing. Much more comfortable, I dont have to worry about aim, if I get the urge to poop im already ready.
My bf does this too. I love that the seat is always down, and I don’t have to wipe the floor after he visits <3
However, Dan also pointed out that the reality is that many women will negatively judge a man who openly engages in ‘girly’ activities when it comes to feeling attracted and considering them for romantic, committed relationships.
“If a woman goes on a date with a guy who loves to knit, arrange flowers around the house, fuss over his sense of fashion and wear a little make up to look at good as he can, she may worry that he could secretly be gay or bisexual. She may not be right, but she could suspect that based on the way he thinks and behaves,” relationship expert Dan explained.
Ballet. I've always liked the look of ballet dancing, and when I was 20, after I got into amateur theatre, I started training in ballet. I've been very fit most of my life, I played football for 10 years, won athletics at school and I cycled everyday. Out of all the fitness training I have done over the years, Ballet is by the far the most difficult "fitness training" I have ever done, and a hell of a lot more fun than anything else.
Ballet takes way more strength than people realize. How else do you think those dancers are able to stay on their toes for so long?
I haven’t seen this yet, so... color. I feel like society wants me to to just wear black/grey/white/navy blue, and it’s stupid. I have a pair of pink jeans that i love!!
I do enjoy tea parties with little cookies.
“She may also worry that if she were to get into a committed relationship with him, he might end up cheating on her with men. Alternatively, she may worry that she’ll end up feeling like she’s in a relationship with a woman who is trapped in a man’s body, rather than a man who is happy and comfortable being a more traditional, masculine man,” he said.
“Once again, she may not be right about her suspicions, but it would be understandable for her to be concerned about those types of outcomes with him if those are not the relationship outcomes she wants,” the expert explained.
“So, while it’s totally fine for a man to engage in traditionally ‘girly’ or ‘feminine’ activities, it’s important to understand that what people accept (i.e. men can do girly things, women can do manly things) and what people feel sexually attracted to, are often two completely different things altogether.”
Skincare! Using basic toner, moisturizer, and sun screen. It has long been considered ‘girly’ to do these but it leads to interesting conversations with girls! Also it feels good to have a routine before bed and taking care of my skin!
My purse. Okay, it's a brown leather bag, like a mini messenger bag, but seriously--it's my purse. I carry my phone, my keys, a little cash, a couple masks, some floss, hand sanitizer, a pen, a couple guitar picks--you know, purse stuff. My wife loves it--it's been years since I've asked her to shove my junk in her purse.
a bag/purse is very convenient. and men with purses/bags are a blessing. yes! freedom from shoving random s**t including mobile phones, battery packs, etc into others' bags. got my ex-boyfriend a tiny backpack (he's a big guy) and he absolutely loves it. now he also carries treats for street cats and dogs in that teeny backpack. <3
Makeup. My skin isn't the best and I have a few acne scars that I don't love, so one time I borrowed some concealer from my sister who's the same skin tone as me and put it on. It was amazing, I couldn't tell I had it on at all, and it worked like a magic eraser for all my blemishes.
I don't use it all the time, but it does make me feel better if I have some on before going out sometimes. And no one ever expects it cause I'm a fairly manly looking brown dude with a pretty big beard. Little do they know I go home and wipe my makeup off while watching New Girl.
Schright_dwute’s thread got more than 18k upvotes, 69 awards, and got over a whopping 11.7k comments which just goes to show that a great question can start a wildfire of a discussion. Their fellow redditors debated everything from how nice hugs are (they really are) to how powerful ballet is and more.
However fun and refreshing the thread on r/AskReddit might be, it does raise some serious issues. Specifically, about how gender stereotypes are deeply rooted in society. As well as how people can feel pressured to heavily edit their passions, goals, and aspirations just for the sake of appearances and their reputations.
Sewing and designing clothing. I’m not talking about screen printing cringe phrases on bulk purchased shirts I mean full on outfits and garments.
I accidentally bought women's shower gel once and now use nothing else. It just smells so much better.
I totally agree I think men's body shampoo smells like they've bathed in cheap cologne.
If you truly love something, whether it’s an activity or a ‘girly’ product, you’ll embrace it no matter what anyone else says. Who cares if the world thinks you’re effeminate? You’ll be the best darn knitter on Planet Earth and you’ll change the world.
But that’s far, far easier to say than to do with unseen (but always present) expectations breathing down your neck. Your confidence will be tested when you’ve got countless people looking at you weirdly like you’ve done something ‘wrong.’
Researchers reviewing theories of masculinity point out that men are expected to maintain a ‘stiff upper lip’ during times of emotional distress and upheaval. In short, men are expected to remain masculine through “emotional control, rationality, responsibility, and successful action.” Emotional expression is ‘allowed’ only in private but not in public.
Pina coladas. Honestly any fruity drink. Got me f***ed up if you think I’m not gonna enjoy every sip of a drink I’m paying for
My grown, six foot tall, bearded, taekwondo grand champion brother likes My Little Pony. Not in a weird way, either, he just really enjoys the art and plotlines. He draws ponies and he actually met his girlfriend through a fan club. They draw ponies together and they're both pretty dang good at it.
Being the little spoon, crying, being spoiled
I’ve slept with a lot of guys lol. I’ve never known a man to not enjoy little spoon. I think that’s just a TV thing. Everyone switches spoon size, depending on what side of your body and bed you’d rather lay on.
Back in 1976, sociologist Robert Brannon put together an American model of manhood and what the ‘script’ for men in the 20th century was like. There were four main things that made a man, well, a man, in the context of the culture in the US.
According to Brannon, one of the four key tenets was not leaving room for any ‘sissy stuff,’ which meant putting vulnerability and openness to the side. The emphasis was on bottling up emotions so you weren’t perceived as weak.
Hugging your friends could be nice
Dude I don't care about you're gender if your my friend HUG ME
When I am depressed, I just listen to sad songs and cry instead of drinking or keeping everything bottled up inside. Also, deodorants designed for women.
I like those are the two you thought of. Both very important in very different ways.
Watch romance comedies, some of them are funny, relaxing, and generally good movies.
The second tenet was that men ought to strive for power, respect, and maintain a positive reputation among their peers. Social status and financial success were the name of the game back then and it was expected of you to try and become a leader in your local community.
The final two tenets of the American masculinity blueprint, according to Brannon’s research, involved being confident and self-reliant like a ‘sturdy oak’ that’s always graceful under pressure, as well as being tough, aggressive, and adventurous.
Crocheting. It's very relaxing and you create useful things. But almost every pattern I find is some kind of female clothing or accessory. There are pet toys but those are the only exceptions.
Look at older magazines. They have patterns for whole families, since women used to make stuff for all family members.
Getting asked out.
Echoes of this blueprint can still be felt to this very day. Whether you see these features as something to be strived for or avoided, biological or merely social, is entirely up to you. But there are some major problems that come with repressed emotions.
Being unable to meet expectations while also being forced to keep your issues and emotions to yourself can lead to mental health issues, including depression which can, in turn, lead to suicide.
I generally wear all black, but I wear hot pink sunglasses as my accent color.
I also have a really unique necklace I like that they don't make a "masculine" version of. So I just bought the women's version cause I'm not that fragile lol
Manicures. I've only had it done twice but man it was so relaxing. Just having a moment of peace to myself not to mention the way my hands felt afterwards worth every penny.
When you’re ‘not allowed’ to ask for help or to talk about the problems that are making your life hell, you’re leaving yourself more vulnerable than you would if you reached out, saying that you’re unable to deal with your issues yourself. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s facing reality and the brave thing to do.
Strawberry Açaí Lemonade from Starbucks. That stuff is so good but you have to deal with all the comments on your fruity pink drink.
Pusheen! Pusheen is cute, and makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I have Pusheen mugs, mousepads, plushies, pillows, blankets, bedsheets, Halloween decorations, Christmas decorations, cat bowls, cat toys, stationary, and the first book ("I am Pusheen"). I get e-mails from the Pusheen store, and I subscribe to the official sites on social media (the ones where I have accounts, at least).
YAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!!!! I love Pusheen!!! I have Pusheen Bowls and cups!!! A have pusheen books and posters!! I have like 20 of the plushies!!! im in 7th grade...I'm a guy............... PUSHEEN IS MY LIFE...................................................................................................................
Accessories. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings, etc. Don't give me those ugly "tough guy" woven leather straps, I want a pretty silver chain with a fake-ass sparkly jewel hanging from it
I will gladly exchange my pretty silver chain with a sparkly jewel for a normal sized silver skull that does not weigh my neck down like an anchor. Seriously, those I find seem to be marketed to necks of steel.
In your opinion, why does society frown upon people who behave differently than they ‘should’ according to their gender, dear Pandas? What can be done about this? What’s an activity or a thing that you absolutely adore but that society would consider to be ‘too girly’ or ‘too manly?’
Hand cream. Whenever there’s some in a bathroom I’m definitely going for that. Makes for soft awesome-smelling hands and finger joints that don’t look like tree bark.
A nice, hot, relaxing bath every once in a while. And a quality massage at a spa.
Women’s gymnastics. Their weight to power ratio is ridiculous.
The weight to power ratio in tennis is also ridiculous. It doesn't matter if you're fifty pounds, if you have enough strength you can win a tennis match.
Chocolate covered strawberries. Or chocolates in general. Especially as valentine's day is coming up, why the hell do the women always get the chocolates???? [Damn], give me some chocolates please. (I actually just buy them for myself).
Women's deodorant. My pits smell like cucumber and lime. Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.
There's a lto of deodorant that's "not gendered". If you like the smell, use it!
Expressing my feelings. I have to shut them down when I get the classic "man up".
No Full Name. No-one needs to be told to suck it up. People feel, let them. We've probably all come across someone we consider 'overreacts' and is hard to deal with but even then they've probably got reasons why they've ended up that way. I'm fecking fed up with people thinking that emotion has anything to do with gender.
Currently using my housemates “glitter unicorn” shower foam and I unashamedly love the way it makes me smell every day.
I love sweeter cocktails and drinks in general. Just cause I'm a man doesn't mean I want to drink beer and whiskey
I can relate to this, from the other way round. I'm a woman, and I love whiskey and beer, but often get comments from other women who laugh/judge me not liking wine much 😬 Gendering drinks is soo annoying!! 🍷🍺🥃
I love lavender, vanilla, and baby powder scented things.
I accidentally bought a baby powder version of my normal deodorant and loved it. I can’t seem to find it anywhere these days though.
It’s funny to me how some scents are considered feminine.
Or do they consider male things smart and powerful and female things stupid and weak?
Load More Replies...I never used man shower product, the smell is dreadful, I did wore summer dress in the 90's, I'm a big fan or Romcoms and I'm a straight guy. I think I never cared about the gender of things, as long as I like them the rest is useless
Me too. I have never used smells as a gender thing. If I have a favourite perfume, I would love a man to be wearing it because I am attracted to that smell in the first place.
Load More Replies...It's incredibly freeing to stop listening to and abiding by the sexist rules that came from the generations before us. I loved reading all of these. If something makes you feel good or makes you happy then who cares what anyone else thinks, at the end of the day it's your life, it's your body, it's your mental health, f*ck the haters. Do you boo!
Gendering products is a GIANT CON by advertisers and the companies that produce the stuff. It allows them to target several niches and create redundancy of products... it's plain stupid and we as consumers need to resist their ploys.
This 💜! And I love that several of the posts are from straight men, so as not to just fire up under gay stereotypes.
I don't believe in these "gender norms." I think it's just dumb. Whenever I'm changing my clothes, my younger brother comes up to me and says "(Name), I love your outfit! It's so cute!" And then gives me some fashion advice. I think it's great if men like fashion or other things considered girly
One of the biggest things for me is clothes. because I am quite short and slim, but with fairly large hips, thighs and buns because of the type of sports I do, I find that women's clothes tend to fit me better than men's, especially yoga pants/leggings plus I like the greater variety of styles and colours of women's clothes
lol I buy men's trakky daks because they have pockets in them, women's one only have a tiny pocket or none.
Load More Replies...Just because a man likes “girly” things does not mean he is gay. Just how girls who are “tomboys” aren’t always lesbians.
Speaking of "genders" - it is built in society so much. We go to the kids hair salon and one side is pink with flowers (which is science!) and barbie cars. The other side is blue, outer space, and has police and race cars and fire trucks. My daughter used to choose police and fire, but at 7 she picks pink (This is either social or natural.) My 4 year old (well, 4th tmw) would pick any but with covid they closed down most of the seats so he has no real choice. The stylists ask what barbie car she wants and and if he wants the police car or fire truck. The dental hygeinist we had was very open about girls being pink and boys being blue. She only offered the feminine toothbrushes to ny daughter and blue to our son. I would say "they also have blue and green" and "they have pink and purple, too".
One of my brothers came to stay with me for a few weeks and he used my shower gel. When I went to visit him, he had bought the same brand for himself to use. He said he liked the smell and the way it made his skin soft.
Just do what you like guys. Life is too short to worry about what people, that aren't living your life, think. You do you, the haters can kick rocks.
This is weird. I'm an older, straight acting gay guy. And all of this is so totally normal to me - like the music/film you like; the clothes you wear; the food and drink you enjoy; the movies you appreciate; take care of your looks; do what makes you comfortable - dance, theatre, cuddly toys. Whatever. For the love of god be in touch with your emotions. I'm not disagreeing with this post but it feels rather 1980s. Have we not moved on? How sad.
my bro used to love mlp and getting his nails painted. this kind of thing has stopped now and i think it's because he feels like they're too girly.
I come from a family where it doesn't matter. I wear men's jeans I have a scar and the men's sit high enough not to irritate it. My 6'2 truck driver uncle is the best seamstress I have he tailors all my cloths. Plus he knits. My other uncle is a big tough guy as well he's a real cowboy type but he loves flowers he can name, cultivate and revive over 100 types of plants.
I have 4 sons, and I'm kinda glad that their father was never a the picture after we divorced. Because I was able to raise them without the stigma a lot males grow up forced into them. I always told them that it doesn't matter who they love, as long as they are treated right and vice versa, and HAPPY! I also taught them that if flipping burgers is something you love, great! But be the best you can be. Just..be..happy.. life is way too short to be living your life miserable. My sons love shopping, and ironically I don't. Lol My twins have had had long hair, (mid back) since they were 11. Only deal was they had to take proper care of it. Never dressed My twins identically. Just because they're identical twins, they're two different individuals! They wear pink, etc. They're all in they're young 20's now, and it's always amazing how each one is so individually unique. And they're not fazed about buying feminine products. I think they love shoes, clothes and accessories more than I do.
Woman are emotionally and physically strong, women may cry but bottling up feelings is horrible and it’s especially worse when you have yes choise.
Horses! While not historically so, it is girly nowadays, unless you aspire to athletic career. I am an only guy riding at my stable.
Do not use deodorant soap, it dries out your skin. Use soaps that have lotions, it so much better for dry, weathered skin.
As a kid I always felt like I needed to play with girlie things like dolls. And I kinda liked them but not always. I would rather have climbed trees and such, which I often did. I love how my friends are raising my Goddaughter, though... she has all her interests, which include everything from Disney princesses to dinosaurs. She loves playing with rocks and sticks, and they encourage it all.
I loved the article, but watching Edward make a fool of himself was almost as entertaining.
Also watching sports! Im a woman and for some reason people dont like me watching football?
Also watching sports, im a woman and people dont like me watching football for a reason?
To me it's sad that a lot of this stuff has been limited to the province of "women's stuff". The whole idea of feminism was inclusivity, on both sides. I love Midleton and riding horses over big fences.
Any man who doesn't do/like/buy/wear/etc something because it's "girly" is just an idiot with very fragile masculinity... Btw, what's the deal with people caring about other people's opinion on, I don't know, anything? That's just sad!
On the other hand, you can't do exactly what you criticise. Making over generalizations saying that "everybody" or "society as a whole" criticises what you do is also wrong. Not everyone thinks like that, on many of the examples most people probably don't care what the rest does.
Or do they consider male things smart and powerful and female things stupid and weak?
Load More Replies...I never used man shower product, the smell is dreadful, I did wore summer dress in the 90's, I'm a big fan or Romcoms and I'm a straight guy. I think I never cared about the gender of things, as long as I like them the rest is useless
Me too. I have never used smells as a gender thing. If I have a favourite perfume, I would love a man to be wearing it because I am attracted to that smell in the first place.
Load More Replies...It's incredibly freeing to stop listening to and abiding by the sexist rules that came from the generations before us. I loved reading all of these. If something makes you feel good or makes you happy then who cares what anyone else thinks, at the end of the day it's your life, it's your body, it's your mental health, f*ck the haters. Do you boo!
Gendering products is a GIANT CON by advertisers and the companies that produce the stuff. It allows them to target several niches and create redundancy of products... it's plain stupid and we as consumers need to resist their ploys.
This 💜! And I love that several of the posts are from straight men, so as not to just fire up under gay stereotypes.
I don't believe in these "gender norms." I think it's just dumb. Whenever I'm changing my clothes, my younger brother comes up to me and says "(Name), I love your outfit! It's so cute!" And then gives me some fashion advice. I think it's great if men like fashion or other things considered girly
One of the biggest things for me is clothes. because I am quite short and slim, but with fairly large hips, thighs and buns because of the type of sports I do, I find that women's clothes tend to fit me better than men's, especially yoga pants/leggings plus I like the greater variety of styles and colours of women's clothes
lol I buy men's trakky daks because they have pockets in them, women's one only have a tiny pocket or none.
Load More Replies...Just because a man likes “girly” things does not mean he is gay. Just how girls who are “tomboys” aren’t always lesbians.
Speaking of "genders" - it is built in society so much. We go to the kids hair salon and one side is pink with flowers (which is science!) and barbie cars. The other side is blue, outer space, and has police and race cars and fire trucks. My daughter used to choose police and fire, but at 7 she picks pink (This is either social or natural.) My 4 year old (well, 4th tmw) would pick any but with covid they closed down most of the seats so he has no real choice. The stylists ask what barbie car she wants and and if he wants the police car or fire truck. The dental hygeinist we had was very open about girls being pink and boys being blue. She only offered the feminine toothbrushes to ny daughter and blue to our son. I would say "they also have blue and green" and "they have pink and purple, too".
One of my brothers came to stay with me for a few weeks and he used my shower gel. When I went to visit him, he had bought the same brand for himself to use. He said he liked the smell and the way it made his skin soft.
Just do what you like guys. Life is too short to worry about what people, that aren't living your life, think. You do you, the haters can kick rocks.
This is weird. I'm an older, straight acting gay guy. And all of this is so totally normal to me - like the music/film you like; the clothes you wear; the food and drink you enjoy; the movies you appreciate; take care of your looks; do what makes you comfortable - dance, theatre, cuddly toys. Whatever. For the love of god be in touch with your emotions. I'm not disagreeing with this post but it feels rather 1980s. Have we not moved on? How sad.
my bro used to love mlp and getting his nails painted. this kind of thing has stopped now and i think it's because he feels like they're too girly.
I come from a family where it doesn't matter. I wear men's jeans I have a scar and the men's sit high enough not to irritate it. My 6'2 truck driver uncle is the best seamstress I have he tailors all my cloths. Plus he knits. My other uncle is a big tough guy as well he's a real cowboy type but he loves flowers he can name, cultivate and revive over 100 types of plants.
I have 4 sons, and I'm kinda glad that their father was never a the picture after we divorced. Because I was able to raise them without the stigma a lot males grow up forced into them. I always told them that it doesn't matter who they love, as long as they are treated right and vice versa, and HAPPY! I also taught them that if flipping burgers is something you love, great! But be the best you can be. Just..be..happy.. life is way too short to be living your life miserable. My sons love shopping, and ironically I don't. Lol My twins have had had long hair, (mid back) since they were 11. Only deal was they had to take proper care of it. Never dressed My twins identically. Just because they're identical twins, they're two different individuals! They wear pink, etc. They're all in they're young 20's now, and it's always amazing how each one is so individually unique. And they're not fazed about buying feminine products. I think they love shoes, clothes and accessories more than I do.
Woman are emotionally and physically strong, women may cry but bottling up feelings is horrible and it’s especially worse when you have yes choise.
Horses! While not historically so, it is girly nowadays, unless you aspire to athletic career. I am an only guy riding at my stable.
Do not use deodorant soap, it dries out your skin. Use soaps that have lotions, it so much better for dry, weathered skin.
As a kid I always felt like I needed to play with girlie things like dolls. And I kinda liked them but not always. I would rather have climbed trees and such, which I often did. I love how my friends are raising my Goddaughter, though... she has all her interests, which include everything from Disney princesses to dinosaurs. She loves playing with rocks and sticks, and they encourage it all.
I loved the article, but watching Edward make a fool of himself was almost as entertaining.
Also watching sports! Im a woman and for some reason people dont like me watching football?
Also watching sports, im a woman and people dont like me watching football for a reason?
To me it's sad that a lot of this stuff has been limited to the province of "women's stuff". The whole idea of feminism was inclusivity, on both sides. I love Midleton and riding horses over big fences.
Any man who doesn't do/like/buy/wear/etc something because it's "girly" is just an idiot with very fragile masculinity... Btw, what's the deal with people caring about other people's opinion on, I don't know, anything? That's just sad!
On the other hand, you can't do exactly what you criticise. Making over generalizations saying that "everybody" or "society as a whole" criticises what you do is also wrong. Not everyone thinks like that, on many of the examples most people probably don't care what the rest does.