I had two uncles when I was growing up who did everything together, both had YMCA-style moustaches, never had any girlfriends, and lived together with three cats.
Didn't realise they weren't just close friends until I was sixteen. "Oblivious" doesn't even come close.
[deleted] , Ricardas Brogys Report
i couldn't swallow pills until a month ago and when i finally did it my mom applauded me with tears in her eyes and wrote it down in my baby book. i'm 23.
[deleted] , Christina Victoria Craft Report
So a little back story first. I was a really annoying and persistent child. My mother used to tell me that I couldn't accompany my parents out to dinner because "children aren't allowed in restaurants."
Fast forward 20 years and my girlfriend and I are out to eat. When a child runs by being a little shitball I say, "Remember when children weren't allowed in restaurants?"
No...nobody does.
pooveyfarms , Rod Long Report
I thought orgasm was a nice word for fart when I was 10. Told my mom I had so many orgasms that my stomach hurt.
[deleted] , Keren Fedida Report
I went to Catholic schools growing up. Other kids went to public schools. I thought there were two religions: Catholic and Public.
[deleted] , Constanza S. Mora Report
As a kid my uncle would play this joke where he would put his hand on your head and make like a jellyfish squeezing your head a little, and say “this is a brainsucker, know what it’s doing? Starving!”
I would always laugh but did not get it until I was like 25
patinaYouUgly , Henry Söderlund Report
I don't know why but whenever someone mentioned that a piece of furniture (or often the dashboard of a nice car) was walnut, I kind of thought they meant the nut and shells all crushed up and smoothened and I wondered how they did it. Then, in my thirties, I realised they probably make it from the tree. Felt like a right walnut that day.
livid54 , YUSUF ARSLAN Report
I always thought that if a guy didn't hold his penis while he was peeing, that it would whip around like a fire hose.
[deleted] , Tim Wildsmith Report
There is a difference between "dish soap" and "dishwasher soap.".
I was a rookie in the fire house and put the dishes into the dish washer after morning oats and lunch. I proceeded to the load the dish detergent tray with the same soap that I was using to scrub the dishes in the sink...poor choice.
We wind up running a few calls in the afternoon on the engine. When we finally get back to the station and I'm restocking/wiping the rig down, my captain walks out and asked if I started the dishwasher. I said yes. Then we proceeded to go into the kitchen where there was literally a three feet deep sea of bubbles in the kitchen. The engineer and firefighter on duty thought it was hilarious, as did my captain, but being the rookie, I was embarrassed as hell. I opened a door to the outside and used our ventilation fan to blow as much of the suds as I could out the door. After restarting the dishwasher, more of these bubbles started coming out of the dishwasher. I had to rinse that dishwasher out so many times to get rid of all of the residue from the dish soap. The crazy part is, I didn't put that much soap into the machine.
And that, kids, is how I earned the nickname, "Bubbles."
TLDR: Don't put dish soap into a dishwasher...dishwasher soap only.
Edit: I was 21 when this happened.
fireslayer17 , Mohammad Esmaili Report
As a young child, I would tell my father, "Dad, I'm hungry." He would stop whatever he was doing, extend his hand, and say, "I'm Bill." It infuriated me. For years this went on.
One day, I say, "I'm tired." He responds his usual response and I begin to say, "Daaaaa.....Oh! Oh my god! I GET IT!"
There are very few times I've seen my dad laugh that hard. I was 18.
dianasaurusmex , Marcela Rogante Report
Until i was 19 and away at college i did not know that milk curdles or bread molded. I grew up in a family of 8 and we went through that stuff so fast.
Trugem6 , Helena Jacoba Report
Fruit Loops are all the same flavor. I was 27, and I still remember the shock of finding out Toucan Sam had been lying to me my whole life.
sfw8580 , Etienne Girardet Report
when i was about 9 my mother told me that a slut is a woman who likes to have fun. i started describing myself as a slut and i did for about a year or 2
adhdgf , Timothy Meinberg Report
Oh this question was meant for me.
I was 16 years old when I learned “flooriting” was not a word.
I grew up watching a LOT of SpongeBob and it was my favorite show. In the show, SpongeBob always fails his driving test because he will always “floor it” instead of driving slowly. When I was little I thought that “floorit” was a single word that meant to go fast and always assumed that someone could be “flooriting” or going very fast.
Fast forward to driving school. I’m in the car with the instructor and another student. I’m driving slowly on the highway and someone aggressively passes me. I made some nervous comment like “man, he’s really flooriting!” And the car just gets really quiet for a second. Then the other student in the car goes, “flooriting? What?”
And that’s when I realized. It all crashed down on me at once. FLOOR IT. It was two different words. It meant putting the gas pedal on the floor. I was shook. I kinda gasped and couldn’t even respond because I was overwhelmed.
It’s been 8 years and I still have never had such a strong, sudden realization of anything. And secretly I still kinda use “flooriting” in my head sometimes.
greenoctopusink , JESHOOTS.com Report
An old co worker was 21 or 22 when he discovered that Ponies aren't just juvenile horses, but like another thing entirely. He spent an entire day walking up to anyone he could find going "Hey did you know" it was hilarious.
CGY-SS , Tim Green Report
I was like 10 when I found out I'm Indian. From India. Little kid me always thought it meant I was Native American and I told people as much until around third grade when I found out that India is a country.
DimensionalNet , Prashanth Pinha Report
I just recently learned that when you buy a stick deodorant, you can remove the little plastic protective cover by just rotating the feed wheel at the bottom. You DON'T need to use your teeth like a fucking animal.
Captain_Hampockets , Charisse Kenion Report
Black people don't have an extra muscle in their leg that makes them better at sports. (I grew up in a very racist small Kansas town.) Was actually taught that by a fifth grade teacher. Found out in college when my ignorance made me look like a bigot.
Broncos_Fan , Philippa Rose-Tite Report
At seven years old, I realized that the moon is not the back of the sun.
A few years later, it turns out that no matter how good you are to your cat, it doesn't grow up to be a dog.
Sparky62075 , Ganapathy Kumar Report
I didn’t know how to write in print until my first year of college. Up to that point, I only learned cursive, and my teachers were so happy that someone willingly used cursive that they just went along with it.
Hugh_manateerian , RODNAE Productions Report
I asked my senior year drama teacher if I could go to the nurse because I just queefed in the bathroom. Learned the hard way that's not same as throwing up.
datboyEVZ , Adhy Savala Report
the end pieces of a loaf of bread keep the bread fresher, longer, so you should not eat them until the very end of the loaf.
This I learned at 52.
The_Patriot , Fredrik Rubensson Report
I was deep into my teens when I realized it’s “make ends meet” instead of “make end’s meat”. I always visualized it as procuring the last bit of food you could in tough times. Wrong!
um8medoit , Chris-McKee Report
That the delete key on the keyboard deletes to the right of the cursor. Backspace deletes to the left and I would always move the cursor to hit backspace instead of just hitting delete.
BetsyPeachBucket , Ujesh Krishnan Report
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
you can't make twins by [making love] really hard.
Someone told me that you get twins when the embryo splits and how that happens is by [making love] really really hard.
So I'd see these like people out in public with their twins and be like "these [friggin] perverts! Just walking around like they aren't sexual deviants!"
I think I was about 15 when I found out that is indeed, not how it works.
Outrageous_Claims Report
I have a friend who kept getting blisters on his feet. His fiance realized that his shoes were two sizes too big. He thought you were always supposed to buy shoes like that, because that is how his mom used to buy his shoes when he was a kid. He is 28, graduated from Notre Dame with an engineering degree.
ChicagoButtas Report
I was 17 in American History class when I felt the need to ask my professor how the slaves took care of all of the rabbits on the cotton plantations, and why it was never in any of the textbooks... That was the day I learned cotton came from a plant and not cottontail rabbits...
SleepyTheCat Report
When I was younger and friends parents would ask me if I had any siblings. I would respond with "No, I'm a lonely child".
Was embarrassed that I never realized it was "only child".
[deleted] Report
That you should apply for a job even if you don't possess all the listed required qualifications, since it's apparently not actually required most of the time.
dottmatrix Report
That envelopes are inexpensive. Growing up, my parents didn't have much money, so they were very frugal and didn't waste anything. I drew on an envelope one time and my mom fussed a bit because I already had drawing paper and envelopes were only for mail and that I shouldn't waste them. Fair enough.
When I moved out for college, I didn't really need to mail anything because email existed and I lived close enough to home to just drive there if I really needed something. When I did have to mail something, I just bought an envelope and stamp together at the post office. It was expensive, but it just reenforced my thought that envelopes are expensive. Paying bills online came about around the time I graduated, so again, I infrequently needed envelopes, and only bought one at a time when I did.
After getting married, my wife volunteered to handle all of our bills and taxes because she likes doing it. So again, I am not buying envelopes.
Finally, at age 38, I found my daughter drawing on an envelope. I gently chided her and told her that envelopes are too expensive to just draw on them and to use her drawing pad instead. My wife overheard me and asked what the hell I was talking about. I explained and she laughed for ten minutes before she calmed down enough to show me the box of 40 envelopes she got at the dollar store. Lesson learned.
philosofik , Rhodi Lopez Report
Diagon Alley = diagonally. Sure, easy, someone pointed that out when the books first came out.
Knockturn Alley = nocturnally. I was yesterday years old for that one.
willsington Report
I'm 20 and learned last week that shoes over a telephone wire signifies a nearby drug dealer. Up until then I just thought it was a dumb way to get rid of a pair of old shoes.
ElektroBoy Report
my brother recently just found out that a rum and coke is not a "roman coke." he kept making the joke, "when in rome" when we were drinking one night and i finally had to ask what the fuck he was talking about.
[deleted] Report
I'm 23 and last year I asked my girlfriend to get some Zoup whilst she was out.
After a 20 minute discussion, me mostly saying "You know, the lemonade", I found out that Zoup is in fact 7UP.
I've been saying Zoup for the past 8 years, why did no one correct me!
VenatusUK Report
That "French kissing" and "oral sex" are two completely different things.
Jai137 Report
At age 35 I learned that the spices in the grocery store are arranged alphabetically.
Howdysf Report
I was 33 when I learned that Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, etc were Christopher Robin's toys and their adventures were his imagination. I had thought they were magical animals he met in the woods.
[deleted] Report
When a machine is not working it is "out of order" There is not a French phrase "Ala Vorder" that means a machine is not working.
Busey_DaButthorn Report
I like to think that I'm a reasonably intelligent person... however, it didn't dawn on me until I was about 18 that the "meat" on cows, pigs, chickens, etc was muscle tissue. I just thought it was kinda weird that some animals had "meat", but humans don't. Then one day it just kind of dawned on me, and I was like, "Ohhhhh...... well, shit."
YonderPricyCallipers Report
How utterly obnoxious and self absorbed I used to be. Been working really hard to not be that person anymore
JurassicCheesestick Report
So, here goes. I must have been a flatulent little shit, because when I was reaaaaally little(2,3,4) my parents decided it would be a fun idea to convince me that my farts were a crime. I guess it started with a small lie and snowballed from there. Sometimes we'd be driving on the highway and see someone pulled over. "Cops caught him farting," my dad would say. Or we'd pass a speeding-trap and my mom would say, "Cops! Hold in your farts!" and we'd all squeeze our butts and squeak with relief when we passed by.
When I was seven they told me Uncle Tim was arrested for gassing a crowded movie theater. At the time I did not know he was selling weed.
I remember being kind of interested in the law, and hearing on the news that someone important had been accused of something(which had a long and complicated name) and my dad said it meant blatantly farting out loud in public. I think it was perjury, but it might have been embezzling or something in Latin. And this was around when the Lewinski scandal happened, so for a while I thought the President of the United States was being impeached for loudly ripping ass in front of a Federal grand jury.
Anyway, I spent the next several years believing I was a Batman villain every time I ate beans. I was in the double digits before I realized they were just fucking with me.
trampabroad Report
I didn't know that the sound you make when you snap your fingers came from the middle finger hitting the ball of the thumb. I don't even know why I didn't know that. I just never thought about it
2Blitz , SidewaysSarah Report
Pickles are pickled things. Like - you can pickle onions and eggs. Gherkins are pickled cucumbers, they’re not just pickles.
MalevolentPumpkin67 Report
i've posted this before, but i was well into my 30s before i realized anne frank actually died in the holocaust. i thought she was a survivor, like elie wiesel.
[deleted] Report
How to pump gas. I'm moving from NJ to CA. I still don't think I'm ready to do it alone, I'm afraid I'll fuck something up and explode the car.
*19 years old
lilburrito Report
That television and movies don't reflect actual dialog in reality. I had a hard time when I was a kid with social situations, and I knew that but I couldn't place why, so I decided to start imitating popular movie characters. I was eating lunch with a group of other kids and decided to try a Hermione Granger line. I turn to the kid next to me, with no preamble or context and go, "Do you EVER stop eating?". He never spoke to me again.
[deleted] Report
Age 30: That dishwashers don't fill up like a washing machine, they shower the dishes from all angles.
I was always afraid to stop the dishwasher mid cycle.
Expert__Witness Report
I was about 28 (31 now) when I learned wrecking balls are real. I had always assumed they were purely cartoon nonsense, like ACME and Animaniacs.
I still think its fucking ridiculous to scale up a midieval flail and run it into things to demolish them; no part of that has ever safe or a good idea.
Solkahn Report
I used to believe that humming birds were mythical creatures and not even real. I saw one at one point and lost my shit.
walnut_of_doom Report
This is fucked up, but I didn't learn how to fart until sometime in high school. Up until then, I thought every time I felt some pressure in my bowels, it was my body telling me I had to take a shit.
I'd go sit on the toilet several times a day, only to be met with smelly air. It usually didn't take longer than a minute to realize it was just a fart, so I really didn't mind.
Then, for some reason, one day I felt some bowel pressure, and I just thought "fuck it, I'm just going to shit my pants", and let loose. Turns out it was just a fart. Actually, it probably wasn't like that at all, as I don't remember the exact situation that led to my moment of clarity. I can say however, that ever since I have learned to fart, I've been a happier person. I think.
Klanko Report
I thought the phrase "dawned on me" was "don-donned me" until I was like 29
vicshat Report
I was 19 before I realized that boys have a little hole in their boxers and stuff. I only had a sister growing up, and when I started doing home health where I would have to dress clients, I used to get so confused on how to figure out what part is the front cause a lot didn’t have tags. It wasn’t until my friend mentioned the hole that I said “what hole”
fibbonaccisun Report
That Sandy Cheeks' name on Spongebob is a joke about when you get sand on your butt when you go to the beach.
I've been watching that show since 1999 and just realized this a couple days ago. 18 freaking years...
multiplesarcasms31 Report
Once you own a home you still pay a shitload in taxes. I always figured if I bought my place it would be free living the rest of my life.
TopScruffy Report
I was in my 30's when I realized that the Ore-Ida in "Ore-Ida Tater Tots" stood for Oregon-Idaho.
I'm from Washington State.
nwcubsfan Report
I was 8 when I finally learned there was no r in the word "idea."
For context: I am from Boston.
Raven4869 Report
I was 16 in 2010 when I learned that Eminem and Slim Shady are the same person (I didn’t listen to rap AT ALL growing up).
When I told my mother, who is wildly more in touch with pop culture, she just looked at me like I grew a dick out of my forehead while laughing and said “no shit, dumbass.” I deserved that one
IrishWithoutPotatoes Report
That your lotto numbers don't have to be in the order drawn to win.....
squanchy78 Report
I hooked up with a girl that just found out that Alaska wasn't an island.
She thought it was an island because on a map of the U.S., Alaska and Hawaii are down in the left corner.
alex6219 Report
No one ever told me not to put metal in the microwave (I guess I just never happened to put anything metallic in them). Learned that freshmen year in college when my spoon sparked and scared the hell out of me.
read_it_online25 Report
I don't want to gross anyone out but I didn't realize until I was pregnant that you deliver the placenta AFTER you deliver the baby. I thought it all just came out at once. I cried that day I found out. I'm 26 and due in June.
MindyS1719 Report
I knew the word paradigm. But I'd never knowingly seen it spelled. I consider myself decently intelligent but I read out paradigm as para-dij-um and asked what the fuck word it was.
Daramun Report
That I don't have to keep my underwear on when I shower by myself. I finally stopped wearing it in the shower when I was around 13-14. My younger sister and I used to shower/bathe together (up until 10yrs) all the time and always kept our underwear on. So I thought we were supposed to and that it was normal.
iDontLikeYouAnyway Report
I'll admit it. I'm 24 and I had NO idea the NBC logo was a peacock until like a few years ago. I always thought it was just a bunch of colored panels. I asked my dad why the purple one has a chip in it. That's when I realized...
SymphonyInPeril Report
I recently how to show my 25 year-old roommate how to change a lightbulb. When he asked what he should do with the dead one, I suggested he take it out back and shoot it.
whiteboyday Report
Tampons. I thought you couldn't pee if you had one in. So much waste. My mom kept yelling at me "WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE TAMPONS"; I drank a lot of water, peed roughly 5-8 times per day.
DFTBAwesome Report
I thought PC meant personal computer. And "oh that guy is so PC" meant he was online too much...up until 3 or 4 years ago
Eaj1122 Report
I learned in my mid-twenties that the term “afternoon” literally means all the hours that are after noon.
cheddarbunnii Report
Until I was like 13 or something, I always wondered how the baby didn't slip out of the mom when she was taking a shit.
I was not a smart child.
Inorezyou Report
Wrestling isn’t real. This was 2 years ago.
Edit: The fighting, yes, I didn’t realize that most of the brutal moves I saw as a kid were fake. I was a huge fan of like WWE (or was it WWF?) when I was like 7 or 8, I haven’t watched or cared about any of it since I was at least 10. I’m 29 now, and even a South Park episode didn’t clue me in until my nephew offered to show me how to do his favorite wrestling move. This led to him telling his grown ass aunt that wrestlers don’t really fight like I believed they did. I swear, I thought some of these dudes hated each other or were rivals, like basketball teams or something, and really got paid to beat the living hell out of each other. Yes, I still feel dumb. That South Park episode though made me realize that the storylines were scripted - again, I was a little girl who liked to watch Mick Foley hurt himself, or Stone Cold Steve Austin fight the Rock or whatever, it was fun to me. I just never gave it a second thought growing up that these dudes didn’t hate each other and fought in a cage for a championship belt. my 12 year old nephew just kinda blew my mind a few years ago.
alyisdead Report
That Washington, D.C is not in Washington state. I'm Canadian.
binkystew Report
That Luke destroyed the Death Star in A New Hope. I thought the newly built and not yet finished Death Star in Return of the Jedi was just a partially damaged Death Star from the first film.
okcomputer_ Report
Illegal drugs are a lot more accepted in society than I would have thought.
Edit: it's weird that when you're a kid you're told that drugs are bad. Then you are told that every system designed to teach you that drugs are bad (the DARE program, anti drug PSAs) are ineffective/funny even though you didn't get into drugs because of these systems (aka I didn't laugh at DARE program or anti drug PSAs). Then you read Reddit posts on how drugs ruined lives but at the same time society approves of marijuana use. I get to the point where I just want to go "Hey, society, I give up. Am I supposed to do drugs or not?"
jsmitter Report
I thought the refs on NFL just had naturally loud voices when telling penalties. My brother and dad played along with it so I was 100% convinced. I just learned a couple of years ago they have microphones. I'm 24 years old.
Jiilllzzz Report
The players can’t see the first down line in American Football
oreomagic Report
Until I was seventeen I didn't know what the other 98% was when a carton of milk said 2%
I know it's from Parks & Rec, but when I heard Dwyer say it I realised I didn't know either
Cyanide_Revolver Report
Not myself but a 21 year old female acquaintance today informed me that she only just learnt that Winston Churchill was in fact, white.
Hayha Report
Not nescessarily learned, but i only came to the realisation that 'anti-gravity' chambers werent actually a thing at about the age of 20
Findmeinadream Report
The months of the year in order. I missed that day in school.
Jimi1967 Report
I always thought a person was in an 'acoma'! It wasn't until I saw it written down I learnt it was 'a coma' Big face palm moment!
Boomer-Town Report
Driving a car. In my country people living in families owning a car usually learns driving quite early. I am 31 and learnt driving last year.
ashofspades Report
I didn't learn Baking Soda and Baking Powder weren't just interchangable names for the same thing until I was in my late 20s.
I made some pepperoni and mozzarella puff pastries for the CFB National Championship game. They came out terrible and everyone was lolling at me, including my sister's douche husband Kevin.
I peed on Kevin's toothbrush when I used the bathroom later that night.
CheesecakeFactory4ev Report