You gave her a kidney, maybe that's a turn on for her. You just need to turn her off, then on again, that'll reset it.

i spat out my water🤣

how many bananas is that?

Aussie here, I think we're already doing that but not telling anyone. Not even ourselves.

Brandon just got, very appropriately, dunked on

Keep mentioning his height.

This is a lot funnier than it should be.

i just slipped and fell 🤷‍♀️

My M.O.

I always have mixed feelings when I stump the expert. On the one hand, I feel somewhat validated that they couldn't fix it either, and yet I still want my problem solved.

My friend (59) and I (61) joke all the time about not remembering a word for something. My latest word was beltloop - hers was an iron.

I keep a small flock of ducks and quack at them frequently. They usually ignore me but every once in a while, all their heads snap around as if to say, "WHAT?"

Including yourself

Well, I'm technically a boomer and I'd like to annouce that I successfully managed to "tap" my card to pay for something.

I feel seen.

I shall be known as Nomu

Nah, I'll fill up on the salad instead. I love that stuff! (minus the tomatoes though- I'm allergic to raw ones)

Wait till you get a set of food containers

🤫

all the time

Well now. Huh.

Toad in the hole anyone? Spotted d**k for dessert?

Heaps better!!

what the hill!

“A cutie in the death cab is worth two in the bush.”

And now the rest of the world will be simultaneously laughing at America and living in fear of the repercussions for the next four years during the destruction of our democracy.

They did a survey in Danmark to see if anyone would vote for Trump, 96% said no, Dennis, and Bettina said yes, and have now been sent to live on a small island just off Greenland.

Unfortunately, your little family humiliation doesn't stay in your own yard. The s**t is high-speed propelled over the fences 360 degrees into the entire neighbourhood and even hitting people who don't even know that your family exist.

There was a ‘debate’ on a UK morning show the other day on whether the tangoed toupee would be good for the UK. The answer is very clearly no. Why try and even debate it? Felt sorry for the presenters having to try and argue the other side for so long, just incredibly awkward

We will stare, because your private family humiliation doesn't stay privat and concerns the rest of the world. You basically are the local mafia family with multiple hundred members that are getting into everyone's business and are about 5 min away from having a full blown shootout in our global neighborhood.

"destruction of our..." you missed out economy.

I think it was about the Biden debate, no? I wonder how the campaign would've looked like if he stayed in the race.

how about 'math'. its a fast way to lose friends😂