Gone are the days where you call over a friend, pull out a chartreuse platter (those big plates full of smelly cheese, salted meats, and random pickled things), and uncork a fancy bottle of your favorite vintage.

If you’re a busy parent with kids, then you are now sophisticated enough to appreciate the gentle balance between a string cheese and a cabernet, a fruit loop and a Riesling, a granola bar and a….red something. But if you are still looking for more great snacks to compliment that fine bottle of reasonably priced vino than look no further, because this mama has you covered.

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Let’s find the perfect pairings for those sting cheese and goldfish

Cabernet Syrah & Goldfish crackers

Let’s start with a nice full bodied red. This Cabernet Syrah has a full bouquet of blackberry, blueberry, and coffee. Wait, maybe I’m still tasting the remnants of this afternoon’s cold cup of pick me up. Either way, it pairs nicely with those stale goldfish crackers you’re sure to find floating around the back seat of your minivan.

Merlot & Oreos

There’s something so magical about an Oreo, and one could also argue the same about a full glass of Merlot. Therefore put two and two together and you can’t go wrong, right? Right!

Blended Red & Kinder Surprise Eggs

If you’re looking for a red, you can never go wrong with….red. These blends of….ummmm….red, always match up nicely with those Kinder Surprise eggs grandma likes to bring over and feed the kids while constantly forgetting that the biggest surprise of all, are all those tiny chocking hazards hiding inside.

Riesling & Lunchables

Ok I have to admit, these seemed like a good idea at the time, but that neon cheese I’m dipping those sawdust bites into is making me rethink every trip I’ve ever made to the grocery store. This is a warning to all of you out there, if you see cheese the color of a school bus, put it down and walk away slowly.

Bubbly & Smarites

If your a mom, then there is a 97.32% chance that you have bribed your kids with smarties and some point in their lives. We constantly have a box of these bad boys floating around the house, giving me bargaining power when it comes to potty training, and also as a quick sugar fix when my kids aren’t looking. These candy coded pieces of gold are also the perfect snack next time you pop the top off of your fruity bottle of bubbly.

Pinot Gris & Fruit Pouches

The refreshingly crisp citrus notes of a pinot gris pairs perfectly with that unlimited stack of fruit pouches you keep stashed away for those impromptu meltdowns and tantrums your toddler likes to pull out every time you’re in public. Also, if you mix these two together it counts as a full serving of fruits and vegetables.

Pinot Auxerrois

Although I’m 97% sure I have no idea how to pronounce this wine, I’m 112% sure that it pairs perfectly with a nice full tub of peanut butter. I’m also 78% sure that if I keep making up random stats, 43% of you will start questioning how much wine I drank while putting this list together.

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