They said it, “family comes first” - well you’re family too, and they definitely aren’t putting your needs first. NTA, your parents sure are though.

Parentification of a 15 year old child is horrific child abuse. And her mom crying about work/life balance when her life decisions have led her daughter to have none during her childhood is disgusting. If you can't afford both the money and time to take care of your children, don't ****ing have them.

Nta, you have the right to be a kid. Yeah, it's ok to help out but you need to stand up for yourself. Have a civil and calm discussion with your parents about how things are

My mother, the oldest of 9 (all from the same parents), was parentified from a very young age, so much so that she didn't want kids and only had us by accident (thought she couldn't get pregnant and abortion wasn't legal here - not that she would have done that, but it wasn't even an option). I don't doubt she loved us, but she'd already raised like 5 other kids. She still had terrible depression and anxiety, but it wasn't recognized as such in the middle of the 20th century. It's a terrible thing to do to your child.

Yeah, this is abuse, straight up.

This isn't going to be fixed by a discussion between the kid and the parents. They need a third party perspective. Not randoms on on BP and Reddit, but a social worker.

"You are making your child raise your other children. Don't tell me *you're* stressed."

OP absolutely knows how hard it is to balance work and family, she's going to school and covering most of the parenting. Unfortunately, the parents are unlikely to change, high school is going to be tough, it's unlikely they will let OP have much of a social life. The hard part will be getting through it and focusing on ensuring she's in a good position to leave home ASAP. Can you take classes that get you university/credit? Can you graduate early? Throw yourself into your escape plan. But it's going to be awful. Best of luck.

"Family comes first." Do the three younger siblings even know their parents?

I seriously question the "working late" argument. Mummy and daddums are cheating on each other.

Why is it always the entitled scummy people in a family that say things like "just do it to keep the peace" and "family comes first", when they never, ever think of doing something to keep the peace and put their family first?

I can understand it if the family is so poor that they will be homeless unless the parents work every second at their minimum wage jobs. But if this isn’t the case, start being gone. Stay over at friends or relatives. For example, if they expect you to babysit on Saturday, get up early and tell them before they leave for work that you have a school thing and you’ll be back on Sunday, byeee! and run out the door. They’ll go nuclear and blow up your phone but don’t respond beyond a text. Hold your ground and ignore the punishments and guilt trips, which is very hard to do.

My parents in law were devote catholics. They produced 14 children of whom 8 survived. My wife was 8 y.o. when her mother put her on a chair, to watch the rice cooking.

Your parents may have been raised in this way where the oldest, be it them or a sibling, took care of the youngest so it's normal for them to use the family first guilt trip. Just because that was the way they were brought up doesn't make it right. Also, that's quite a gap between you and your siblings. I have read about certain cultures creating this gap in order to have an elder child available to help with the younger ones. Could that be the case here? You're a teenager and It's time to set some clear boundries. If you don't now, you will grow up never knowing what healthy ones are. Do some research on your own. There is so much available to you online that will give you guidance. Keep in mind that you can show love and respect and still have healthy boundaries and a life of your own. Take a stand and stick to it.

I knew a girl who raised her half siblings all under age of 6 and she was 16. Her mom partied and got pregnant every year it seemed(never saw her not pregnant) I moved away a yr later and found out from a aquatince that she had a mental breakdown and killed herself from stress

It is sort of funny when the mother tells her daughter, that family comes first, when she evidently doesn't put her family first herself.

When this young lady gets ready to start to college you can bet that her parents will want her to wait till your siblings have graduated from high school. They will try to keep her home bound till it's to late for her. Then they will be mad that she resents the whole family.

Parentification.

In the UK we have safeguarding leads in all schools, they are there to help any child who is facing struggles at home or at school. This would definitely fall under safeguarding laws here, the fact that your parents use you as childcare and parent in their considerable absence is very concerning to me. You should speak to the US equivalent, presumably a school counsellor, and lay out your concerns.

Seriously? This kid is being denied her childhood just so she can take care of kids her parents were to cheap to hire a babysitter for? And she can't even complain? That is just so unfair. She better move out asap or move in with some other relatives who won't treat her like a free 24/7 nanny.

This is just another case of people having kids and expecting other to take care of them. Don’t have kids if you can’t or worse, won’t take care of them. It’s not your oldest child’s responsibility to be their parent.

I knew a chick who kept her oldest out of school to watch the youngest three so she could go to school. Which would be bad enough. But she didn't go. She just kept hooking up with some creepy dude off Tinder. I gave her to the end of the week to get him in school or I would turn her in. She did enroll him but I still had to go no contact. Her children were like accessories to her. It disgusted me.

Is this simple. Yes you should help out. Here and there. In large families this is normal. Having said that... you are young and deserve to enjoy your life as once these years are gone, there's no getting them back. Try to strike a compromise. 50/50. You will help out 50 percent of the time. The other 50 percent of the time, you get to be a teenager.

As for jobs not hiring until they're 16, she could go around to the neighbors and ask if she can clean their house or do other chores for them for an agreed amount of money per hour or per chore. She already has great references by taking care of the other kids and their house!

I think you are a lovely person that's going to grow up a very rounded unselfish person. Good luck in your future

Its not fair but its a common reality when you are poor. Mom and dad would rather be home with the kids than working multiple jobs. The older kid gets stuck watching the younger ones because a babysitter costs $15/hour and mom makes $7.25/hr at Walmart that night. Poor people often end up having kids because its needed free labor. Its why birth rates go down in countries when affluence goes up. The poster has every right to a childhood but its up to all us adults to change the world so they can have one.

Crazy

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Nobody is noticing the comment that she is 15 starting high school! You start high school at 11 or 12. Makes me think this is a fake scenario, to rile up the internet. I am not saying the scenario does not happen but in this instance. WELL!

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All the people terming this as abuse are absolutely nuts, and we're not talking about a 10 year old watching a gaggle of children under the age of 5, it's a teenager who is old enough to get a learners permit, old enough to get a job, and is a few short years away from being out of the house. The kid days are gone, now it's time to learn about being an adult. I agree that having 4 kids is irresponsible in a myriad of ways, but they're already here, and they're expensive. Should one of them quit their job? Standard of care would drop pretty quickly. In the U.S child care ranges from $10-$30 an hour, which could very well amount to one, or both parents quitting their jobs, again standard of care and comfort would drop steeply. The way things "should" be and the way things actually are, have absolutely nothing to do with one another. Your plans probably won't work out how you want, because life isn't fair. Sometimes you have to choose the least bad option. It's not abuse, it's reality.