Trick-or-treating is supposed to be a great bit of fun, from the costumes to the abundance of candy for the kids to enjoy later. It’s also a great way to build a sense of community, as people visit their neighbors, interact, and just have a good time.

But one mom ended up having to blacklist a house in her neighborhood because the people there refused to give her autistic child any candy. This quickly spiraled into drama, as the neighbors attempted to retaliate. People discussed ableism and what it means to be a good neighbor while giving OP some advice.

Going trick-or-treating should be a magical time for children

Image credits: Charles Parker (not the actual photo)

But a mom discovered that one house would simply not give her autistic daughter any candy

Image credits: Anton Rudyk (not the actual photo)

Image credits: u/halloweengoodiebags

Ableism is cruel, misguided, and ugly

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

While we have no way of knowing exactly why these neighbors refused to give candy to specifically an autistic child, their actions do follow pretty standard definitions of ableism. To those who are not familiar with the concept, congratulations, but simply put, it means to discriminate against someone for a physical or mental disability.

As horrible as it sounds, for much of human history, people with disabilities have been regularly and systematically excluded from society. In the United States, where material conditions were relatively better, ableism was only legally defined in the 1970s. Up until then, people could exclude the disabled from public life, if they so choose. Some locations even had horrible “ugly laws” which actually prohibited some people with disabilities from showing themselves in public.

Researchers believe that ableism comes from a variety of factors. Firstly, people who grow up in environments where they are not taught to treat the disabled as fully-fledged human beings will often see them as lesser than themselves. This may stem from old-fashioned beliefs about Darwinism and misguided ideals regarding who “deserves” to live.

Ableism and entitlement often go hand in hand

Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)

While trick-or-treating isn’t defined by law, meaning that these neighbors could choose to exclude OP’s daughter, their actions are antithetical to the entire idea of a community. Instead of doing something nice, they refused to back down over a technicality, ruining their reputation in the long run. It’s actually hard to imagine a good reason not to give a six-year-old a candy bar when you have her sibling’s ones right before.

As often happens with horrible, entitled folks, the neighbors seem to be trying to do some damage control and claiming the whole thing is blown out of proportion. This is a classic strategy of bigots who do at least realize that the majority of the population does not at all support their beliefs. As a result, they have to turn to excuses and obfuscation.

Neurodivergency is more common than many people might expect

Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)

Regardless of what these neighbors believe, neurodiversity is quite common. Researchers believe that at least 15-20% of the human population is neurodivergent to some level, with the real number likely being a lot higher. After all, it’s pretty hard to measure, hard to self-diagnose, and hard to spot in the “wild” except in extreme cases.

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As many of the comments noted, there is no reason for these neighbors to act the way they do. There was not a scarcity of candy, demanding that every single child repeat a phrase is just demeaning, and their refusal to accept OP’s explanation is, ironically, quite small-minded. An adult being cruel to a six-year-old is without a doubt something that needs to be called out.

Readers thought the neighbor’s behavior was shocking

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