Man’s GF Harshly Judged By Family For Her Weight, She Gets Angry When His Sister Tells Her The Truth
What would you do if your family’s obsession with appearances led them to cruelly mock someone? Just imagine being from a clan where everyone looks like they’ve just stepped off a runway, and fitness is practically a religion. If anyone wanted to be a part of this fam, they had to be ready to hit the gym, or at least look like they did. That is until one family member brought home a sweet, plus-sized girlfriend who didn’t fit the fam’s cookie-cutter mold.
This is what the protagonist of this story, a spirited 23-year-old woman, had to deal with.
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Superficial family, obsessed with looks, constantly mock man’s plus-size girlfriend behind her back
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Woman gets fed up with the cruel treatment her brother’s girlfriend receives from their family and decides to confront her brother about it
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
The woman’s brother admits to his sister that he is not attracted to his girlfriend but she is a great partner and would make a good mom
Image credits: Анна Хазова (not the actual photo)
The woman tells her brother’s girlfriend the truth about what her boyfriend and his family actually think of her
Image credits: throwaway691500
The girlfriend’s reaction shocks the woman, after she gets called names for showing her the mean messages the family writes about her
Meet our leading lady (let’s call her Chloe), a young woman coming from a family obsessed with appearances. Chloe’s 28-year-old brother, Ben, is no different than the rest of the family. However, to everyone’s surprise, Ben has been dating Jia, a sweet 26-year-old woman who is not what this image-conscious family expected.
Jia is a sweetheart but she is plus-sized, so she doesn’t fit the family’s supermodel mold, and boy, have they made sure she knows it. They have whispered behind her back, cracked cruel jokes, and sometimes even made mean comments to her face, all under the guise of “just kidding.”
They once even Photoshopped Jia’s face onto a cow and printed it out. Yeah, you read that right. Ben? He barely did anything, stepping in only when things went way too far, like for the cow photoshoot.
Chloe confronted her brother about the situation but, to her surprise, he admitted he didn’t find Jia attractive. Ben said he thought his girlfriend would be a great mom and partner, so he was willing to overlook her “lacking”. Excuse us while we pick our jaws up off the floor.
According to an article on body shaming and its effects on a person, body shaming is harmful and can have lasting impacts on an individual’s self-esteem and mental health. “Experiencing body-shaming can interfere with your self-image and make you feel extremely self-conscious. Fears about being judged by others may cause you to limit or avoid social activities,” the article explains.
Thankfully, in recent years, there has been a significant push to combat body shaming and foster greater self-love and acceptance of our appearances. While body positivity is an ongoing journey, there are a few things one can do to overcome body shaming and build body positivity, starting with cultivating self-love and replacing negative self-talk.
The woman’s brother is mad at his sister for telling his girlfriend the truth, saying she didn’t have to know, and stops talking to his sister
Image credits: Diana Titenko (not the actual photo)
Now, let’s fast forward to a family wedding. Jia was politely but firmly excluded from the family photo because, as they put it, only married partners could be in the picture. That was the moment Chloe decided she had had enough of this cruelty. She took Jia aside and spilled all the tea, showing her the nasty messages from the family and revealing Ben’s true feelings.
Jia seemed sad at first, but she very quickly changed her attitude, calling Chloe the B word for telling her the truth. She also said that “she’s not planning on breaking up with her bf so she would rather remain oblivious to how his family viewed her,” Chloe recalls. Ben wasn’t any happier, cursing out his sister and insisting that Jia didn’t need to know the truth.
Navigating family and personal relationships is like walking a tightrope. It’s all about balance. While Chloe’s intentions were to protect Jia and expose the family’s toxic behavior, the method she chose for delivering the message might have been a bit too blunt.
Experts say that “to determine whether or not keeping your secret is justifiable, first be honest with yourself. If telling your secret will cause damage to your relationship, you have to decide if you can live with hiding it or if it’s best to reveal it and deal with the consequences.”
However, the moment you choose to deliver your message is almost as important as the message itself: “If you feel very emotional about it, wait until you calm down a bit. It will be easier to communicate when you can think clearly and speak calmly,” experts explain.
Since the truth bomb was dropped, Chloe has been ostracized by both Ben and Jia. They have remained together, but ignored her completely. This raises the question—did she make things worse, or did she do Jia a favor by telling her the truth? Share your opinions in the comment section.
Netizens side with the woman, saying she did the right thing by telling her brother’s girlfriend the truth
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
As sad as it is, the girlfriend was told what she should know (how the family and bf talk about her) so it’s her decision how to proceed. But no, OP is in the right in this situation.
Yep. When the harm of not being told what people are saying behind a person far outweighs the harm of being told, it's the right time to speak up. Ideally, Jia would have broken up with her boyfriend after that. It will be a broken heart marriage if she carries on like this.
Load More Replies...Maybe bro's sticking with Jia for HER inheritance. Maybe he thinks he can have kids with her + have side pieces.
Someone rhetorically asked if the family would support him cheating on her. He is likely to do so.
Load More Replies...NTA, and I pray that young woman walks away and finds someone who thinks she's a knockout. Also, f--- that whole fat-phobic, sh--a-- family. I was love-bombed by a dude and his whole family with wining and dining, then the weird talk of fad diets and my partner criticizing my diet and later body. Of course he was shocked I dumped him
Sounds like Jia already suspected there were opinions about her based on the family's "lighthearted teasing" of her. Likely she's far too use to the treatment to not recognize the teasing as the micro aggressions they were intended to be. It's quite possible Jia has self esteem issues which leave her believing she's not going to find better than OP's brother, and she's just grateful to have a boyfriend. Someone telling you "You can do better" doesn't hit the same if you don't believe you can.
Poor Jia. She obviously has no self esteem or self respect. When the time comes and if she marries into that family, she will slap herself for not having listened. Pobrecita.
I wonder if she's Japanese. I adore the country and culture for the most part... but their agressive hatred of anyone plus sized is truly toxic and they should be ashamed. Shes a wonderful person for showing the GF this, the truth hurts.
OP did the right thing, it's important to know that your potential spouse doesn't have your back. All you can do is treat people how you would like to be treated and move on.
That must have really hurt Jia's feelings. OP should not have shown the cruel messages, but found a different way of being supportive. We don't always have to act on our urge to be the hero - sometimes it's better to be a friend.
I dont think OP is an a*****e, but if the family has been making comments to Jias face and photoshopping her as a cow, Jia already knew.
I think Jia knew enough from their teasing, and I think she probably believes an a*****e boyfriend "I can change for the better" is better than no boyfriend. Lots of popular but toxic TV shows out there portray a hateful and abusive dark horse as the main love interest who must be swayed and humbled by the gentle, upbeat spirit of the main or secondary protagonist.
Load More Replies...I was her. Jia I mean. So damn desperate for "love" and attention, I settled for a man who was a narcissistic abuser and stayed with him for 25 years, gave him 3 kids. Then he got bored and cheated, then left me for his whore. OP did the right thing. One day Jia will relaize what she did and will wish like hell she'd listened. It might not be for a long time, but one day she'll relaize what a screw up she was about this.
NTA... this will eventually backfire on her & hopefully can be a wake up call that she should have run sooner rather than later. It'll be no one to blame but herself.
As someone who is obese, not even 'just' overweight, if I'd been told this, I would have broken up with the boyfriend right after giving him a deserving smack across his lying, two-faced face.
In one of the comments, OP is wortied about potential kids looking like mum and not dad. She is right to worry about the potential abuse of those kids. It is also possible that Jia is used to this attitude from her family and/or has low self esteem...
OMG, those poll option! There isn’t one drastic enough! I’d been SO angry (and hurt and betrayed and…), and would have thrown BF out right away and would never have spoken a word with his family again. That said, I wouldn’t have accepted their snide comments either. And if my partner hadn’t backed his family down in a situation like that we would have had a lot to talk about when we got home
Sounds like Ben is staying with Jia for her inheritance to me.
I think OP is the only balanced, mentally healthy person in the story. The boyfriend and his family are a pile of rubbish, and the girlfriend is an idiot. Why do people stay in toxic relationships? God only knows, but this one is not going to end well. However, she's an adult, and she can take her own (stupid) decisions. It's sad.
OP mentions that Jia has a sizeable inheritance coming, perhaps that is why her brother overlooks the "lack" ?
Well, looks like Jia’s willingly chosen her pretty boy Ben, so all OP can do is just stop trying to help and let things play out for them. Some people double down and get nasty toward someone trying to do them a favor by warning them about stuff like that, instead of thanking the whistleblower and moving on. OP needs to just sit back and let everyone else, Jia included, learn their hard lesson.
As sad as it is, the girlfriend was told what she should know (how the family and bf talk about her) so it’s her decision how to proceed. But no, OP is in the right in this situation.
Yep. When the harm of not being told what people are saying behind a person far outweighs the harm of being told, it's the right time to speak up. Ideally, Jia would have broken up with her boyfriend after that. It will be a broken heart marriage if she carries on like this.
Load More Replies...Maybe bro's sticking with Jia for HER inheritance. Maybe he thinks he can have kids with her + have side pieces.
Someone rhetorically asked if the family would support him cheating on her. He is likely to do so.
Load More Replies...NTA, and I pray that young woman walks away and finds someone who thinks she's a knockout. Also, f--- that whole fat-phobic, sh--a-- family. I was love-bombed by a dude and his whole family with wining and dining, then the weird talk of fad diets and my partner criticizing my diet and later body. Of course he was shocked I dumped him
Sounds like Jia already suspected there were opinions about her based on the family's "lighthearted teasing" of her. Likely she's far too use to the treatment to not recognize the teasing as the micro aggressions they were intended to be. It's quite possible Jia has self esteem issues which leave her believing she's not going to find better than OP's brother, and she's just grateful to have a boyfriend. Someone telling you "You can do better" doesn't hit the same if you don't believe you can.
Poor Jia. She obviously has no self esteem or self respect. When the time comes and if she marries into that family, she will slap herself for not having listened. Pobrecita.
I wonder if she's Japanese. I adore the country and culture for the most part... but their agressive hatred of anyone plus sized is truly toxic and they should be ashamed. Shes a wonderful person for showing the GF this, the truth hurts.
OP did the right thing, it's important to know that your potential spouse doesn't have your back. All you can do is treat people how you would like to be treated and move on.
That must have really hurt Jia's feelings. OP should not have shown the cruel messages, but found a different way of being supportive. We don't always have to act on our urge to be the hero - sometimes it's better to be a friend.
I dont think OP is an a*****e, but if the family has been making comments to Jias face and photoshopping her as a cow, Jia already knew.
I think Jia knew enough from their teasing, and I think she probably believes an a*****e boyfriend "I can change for the better" is better than no boyfriend. Lots of popular but toxic TV shows out there portray a hateful and abusive dark horse as the main love interest who must be swayed and humbled by the gentle, upbeat spirit of the main or secondary protagonist.
Load More Replies...I was her. Jia I mean. So damn desperate for "love" and attention, I settled for a man who was a narcissistic abuser and stayed with him for 25 years, gave him 3 kids. Then he got bored and cheated, then left me for his whore. OP did the right thing. One day Jia will relaize what she did and will wish like hell she'd listened. It might not be for a long time, but one day she'll relaize what a screw up she was about this.
NTA... this will eventually backfire on her & hopefully can be a wake up call that she should have run sooner rather than later. It'll be no one to blame but herself.
As someone who is obese, not even 'just' overweight, if I'd been told this, I would have broken up with the boyfriend right after giving him a deserving smack across his lying, two-faced face.
In one of the comments, OP is wortied about potential kids looking like mum and not dad. She is right to worry about the potential abuse of those kids. It is also possible that Jia is used to this attitude from her family and/or has low self esteem...
OMG, those poll option! There isn’t one drastic enough! I’d been SO angry (and hurt and betrayed and…), and would have thrown BF out right away and would never have spoken a word with his family again. That said, I wouldn’t have accepted their snide comments either. And if my partner hadn’t backed his family down in a situation like that we would have had a lot to talk about when we got home
Sounds like Ben is staying with Jia for her inheritance to me.
I think OP is the only balanced, mentally healthy person in the story. The boyfriend and his family are a pile of rubbish, and the girlfriend is an idiot. Why do people stay in toxic relationships? God only knows, but this one is not going to end well. However, she's an adult, and she can take her own (stupid) decisions. It's sad.
OP mentions that Jia has a sizeable inheritance coming, perhaps that is why her brother overlooks the "lack" ?
Well, looks like Jia’s willingly chosen her pretty boy Ben, so all OP can do is just stop trying to help and let things play out for them. Some people double down and get nasty toward someone trying to do them a favor by warning them about stuff like that, instead of thanking the whistleblower and moving on. OP needs to just sit back and let everyone else, Jia included, learn their hard lesson.
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