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Allergic Teen Refuses To Change His Eating Habits, Mom Considers Giving Up Her Fight For His Health
Every parent, by default, wants the best for their child. Of course, in the sense that parents actually know what’s good. But sometimes, a parent’s understanding of a good life significantly contradicts how a teenager—or an adult child—actually sees it.
However, there are situations when neglecting parental advice is fraught with serious health problems for children, as it was for the kid of the user u/Electronic-Code9834, the author of today’s story, whose teen son flatly refused to change his diet due to an identified allergy.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is the mom of a 17-year-old son who was recently diagnosed with a wheat allergy
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mom was ready to help her son switch to a special diet, but the teen himself didn’t want to accept his new circumstances
Image credits: Electronic-Code9834
Image credits: Luis Rosero / Pexels (not the actual photo)
For the last 9 months, the mom has been fighting for her son’s health—mostly with his blatant neglect—but to no avail
Image credits: Electronic-Code9834
Image credits: Igor Starkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The boy kept sneaking bread, burgers, and whatnot—despite facing the harsh consequences of his allergy
Image credits: Electronic-Code9834
So, at one point, the mom found herself ready to give up—but she decided to seek advice and support online first
So, the story is actually very simple—but at the same time difficult—to resolve. The Original Poster (OP) has a 17-year-old son, and it recently turned out that he’s allergic to wheat, with all of the ensuing consequences in the form of a need to switch to a gluten-free diet. But don’t forget that the author is dealing with a 17-year-old teen!
The woman spent the last nine months desperately fighting for the son’s health, which the boy, apparently, blatantly neglected. The mother cooked him gluten-free food—he bought burgers at McDonald’s. She ordered dietary correct dishes in restaurants—he tried to sneak bread from someone else’s plate. And over and over.
As for his school, the original poster talked to the administration, and they said that they, of course, have gluten-free options on the menu, but that the author’s son would have to order such food himself. And he, as you can probably guess, didn’t do that. And his mom, by and large, couldn’t spend every minute with him to control his eating behavior.
More than once or twice, our heroine had conversations with her son, trying to appeal to his common sense, logic, and instinct of self-preservation. He listened, nodded, and agreed, but time passed, and everything returned to the sad status quo. It got to the point where the woman was on the verge of a “screw it” moment—nearly ready to just stop cooking gluten-free meals for her son at home and rely on him to do it himself.
Which, she fully realizes, would almost be the same as giving up on any diet at all. So the original poster desperately decided to ask for support and advice online: how pointless is her fight for her son’s health if he himself is strongly unwilling to stand with her in this fight? And will she be a jerk if she refuses to do anything at all?
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“In any case, one shouldn’t give up. Here, it seems to me, the health problems are compounded by adolescence with its inherent denial of problems,” says Iryna Stasiuk, an expert on syndromic therapy from Odesa, Ukraine, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
“And all this together leads to the fact that until the teenager has encountered really serious consequences, he doesn’t consider himself sick, doesn’t take it seriously.”
“What is needed here, it seems to me, is to invite him to a psychologist, conduct therapy for eating disorders. In any case, the psychologist will be able to find more effective approaches to explain to this woman’s son all the seriousness of the situation. Simply due to their experience and professional skills.”
“And, of course, the mom should go on fighting. In the end, sooner or later, the son will understand that she was right, and will be grateful to his mother for doing all this. The most important thing is that before he realizes it, he doesn’t encounter really serious consequences with his health,” Iryna summarizes.
People in the comments were very divided. Some were almost certain that the author had done everything possible and could now just throw her hands in the air—but they still advised she at least bring her son to therapy. “Please consider getting him a counselor who specializes in patients with other chronic illnesses, and/or teens,” someone wrote.
Other responders sincerely believed that this was a mother’s destiny—to try to help her child, despite his resistance. “If it’s mild-moderate allergy now, it’s going to eventually get worse with each exposure. Epi pens might not be a bad idea to have on hand if he’s going to eat wheat,” another person added reasonably, urging the mom to keep fighting. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this particular story?
People in the comments were divided in their advice for the mom, but they all agreed that the boy needed the diet
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What do you think ?
KatSaidWhat 2 days ago
I'm with the person who mentioned colostomy - I'd 100% be showing my kid what happens if you continuously destroy your stomach whether by your own hand or not. I have IBS which means my own gut does whatever it wants (doctor said my IBS has MPD). I live in fear of the colostomy and also throat cancer due to reflux and vomiting.
arthbach 3 days ago
It was very hard on me to go wheat-free (gluten-free) in my 40s. I knew I had to do it because my life was circling a black hole. It felt like a massive bereavement, and life was *so unfair*. However, making the choice meant life improved huge, greatly, immeasurably. It was hard enough in my 40s. I can't image how it would be for a teenage boy whose brain is far from fully developed. It's rebellion, but it's not directed at the parent; it's rebellion at life. - - - My recommendation would be for her to sit down and say what she thinks is going on (rebellion, grief, not wanting to appear different), but he is hurting himself. Then explain the pain parents have when they see their child self-destructing. Next, say she will always provide food that is safe for him to eat, and will encourage him to make the best choices for his health, but ultimately, it's his choice. Then stick with it. He needs to work it out for himself, although chatting with a therapist might well help.
Ge Po 2 days ago
Agree. He's 17. Old enough to know better, exactly the right age to not care and not want to be forced. Old enough to want to make his own choices. As a parent, it is important to offer support and guidance, but accepting that can not be forced. So many this age that have to learn things the hard way and all you can do is be there when the have to face the consequences and offer to help them so those consequences might not ruin their life further on.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 2 days ago
I'm with the person who mentioned colostomy - I'd 100% be showing my kid what happens if you continuously destroy your stomach whether by your own hand or not. I have IBS which means my own gut does whatever it wants (doctor said my IBS has MPD). I live in fear of the colostomy and also throat cancer due to reflux and vomiting.
arthbach 3 days ago
It was very hard on me to go wheat-free (gluten-free) in my 40s. I knew I had to do it because my life was circling a black hole. It felt like a massive bereavement, and life was *so unfair*. However, making the choice meant life improved huge, greatly, immeasurably. It was hard enough in my 40s. I can't image how it would be for a teenage boy whose brain is far from fully developed. It's rebellion, but it's not directed at the parent; it's rebellion at life. - - - My recommendation would be for her to sit down and say what she thinks is going on (rebellion, grief, not wanting to appear different), but he is hurting himself. Then explain the pain parents have when they see their child self-destructing. Next, say she will always provide food that is safe for him to eat, and will encourage him to make the best choices for his health, but ultimately, it's his choice. Then stick with it. He needs to work it out for himself, although chatting with a therapist might well help.
Ge Po 2 days ago
Agree. He's 17. Old enough to know better, exactly the right age to not care and not want to be forced. Old enough to want to make his own choices. As a parent, it is important to offer support and guidance, but accepting that can not be forced. So many this age that have to learn things the hard way and all you can do is be there when the have to face the consequences and offer to help them so those consequences might not ruin their life further on.
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