Woman Forces 13YO Brother To Raise Her Kid, Refuses To Provide Payment, He Snaps After 3 Years
Would you babysit a kid full-time for 3 years for free? Believe it or not, some people actually do just that. You know how it is – being the youngest or the most “available” sibling somehow makes you the go-to babysitter. And, if you’re really “lucky”, it’s not just occasional, and you’ve landed yourself a full-time gig with zero pay and even less appreciation.
That’s basically what one Redditor went through for 3 years, all thanks to his sister’s questionable parenting choices. For him, this wasn’t a one-time favor – it was an actual job, except he wasn’t getting paid for it.
More info: Reddit
Babysitting for free is like having a job you never applied for, but somehow can’t quit
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This 17-year-old has been forced to babysit his sister’s 3 kids since he was only 13, with no pay, no time off, all while still in school
Image credits: Tatiana Syrikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The sister dumped her kids on her younger brother every day for 3 years, forcing him to babysit, despite him having homework or wanting to meet friends
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After 3 years of free babysitting, the teen finally asked for compensation for his hard work, but his sister said it’s his “duty as a sibling” to take care of them
Image credits: Novel-Heron-2297
After the sister announced she is pregnant again, refused to pay her brother and wouldn’t pick up her kids on time, the teen finally told her he will never babysit for her again
The story starts innocently enough, with the then 13-year-old OP (original poster), who lived with his grandma and two older sisters. Like any doting uncle, when his older sister had her first baby, he was thrilled to help out once in a while. But, what started as casual babysitting quickly turned into a full-time, unpaid gig.
Monday through Friday, the OP was clocking in at 3:30 PM, right after school, and not clocking out until 9PM. You’d think he still had his weekends for himself, but nope. Those were also up for grabs, if his sis decided she wanted to enjoy a child-free day. No compensation, no gratitude, no freedom. Just endless diaper changes, toddler tantrums and canceled plans with friends.
As if babysitting her first child wasn’t enough, his sister turned on the “baby factory” and had another kid. Plus, her boyfriend brought his own little one into the mix. So, our OP was expected to care for three tiny humans while their parents “worked”.
And by work, I mean his sister jumping from job to job and sometimes just not showing up to pick up her kids at all because she didn’t want them “ruining” her day. “Mother of the Year” award, anyone?
Finally, after 3 years of free babysitting, no freedom and some missed fun, our OP asked to be paid for the nanny gig. A totally reasonable request for someone basically raising three children, if you ask me. But sis dearest didn’t seem to think so and hit him with the classic “It’s your duty as a sibling” line. Oh, and she promised she’d pay him “someday.” Spoiler: that day never came.
At this point, the OP was 17 and, as most teens his age, he wanted to hang out with his friends. So, one day, he made plans to hit the mall with a buddy, something he rarely got to do thanks to his babysitting responsibilities. He gave his sister a heads-up that she needed to pick up her kid early. She left him on read, ignored his calls, and didn’t show up until 7 PM, well past his plans. Her excuse? She was “busy with a thing at work.”
At that moment, OP had enough of his sister taking advantage of him. He texted her a firm “No more babysitting. Ever.” And just like that, he reclaimed his life. Honestly, good for you OP! Three years of forced babysitting is long enough, don’t you think?
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When someone constantly takes advantage of you, it’s like signing up for a lifetime subscription to a headache, or in this case, diaper duty. The first step? Experts recommend setting boundaries and actually enforcing them. It’s not enough to just say “no”; you have to mean it.
Sure, it’s awkward, especially if the person is a family member or someone close to you, but your peace of mind is worth the temporary discomfort. Communicate your limits clearly, and don’t feel guilty for protecting your time and energy. If they continue to push, remember: it’s okay to distance yourself from people who refuse to respect you. After all, saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you sane.
But, as you can imagine, the OP’s big “no” and decision to put an end to free babysitting didn’t sit well with everyone. His grandma scolded him for not being “easier” on his sister, saying she had relationship troubles.
But the OP was clear: he’s not the kids’ parent, and it’s not his job to sacrifice his high school years for someone else’s mistakes. After all, it’s hard enough being a teenager even without having to parent some else’s kid.
When a child, or teen, is thrown into adult responsibilities, like caring for siblings or handling household tasks, at an age when they should be focusing on their own growth and development, they might be parentified. It might sound like some fancy psychology term, but trust me, parentification is about as glamorous as doing someone else’s dirty laundry—and I mean that literally.
The pros say that, when a kid is handed a full-on parenting job instead of just being allowed to just exist as a kid – think diapers, tantrums, and school drop-offs – it’s usually a product of parents who are overwhelmed, absent, or just plain irresponsible.
And the side effects? Oh, just lifelong stress, anxiety, depression, people-pleasing tendencies, and a nagging feeling that you’re responsible for everything. Let’s just hope our OP got out of there in time. But, if not, there’s always therapy to help with the healing.
What’s your take on this story? Should the poster have continued helping out, or did he make the right call by stepping away? Let us know!
Netizens are shocked by the sister’s behavior saying the teen should be allowed to live his life and he is not responsible for raising his sister’s kids
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I’ll get downvoted, but it’s well past time that both sisters got fixed
Surprise! Upvotes for you. They should NOT be having children.
Load More Replies...Hero, and NTA. He's done enough free labour for four years, and he's had enough. If granny or anyone else doesn't like it, they can step up and look after the kids.
Where are the parents? Okay, grandma may have health-issues, and not capable... but again, where are the parents? OP said, they are from Latin-America, where it seems, this is quite common... I have to say, that's a really shítty culture thing.
Its common not to pay your relatives to take care of your kids, and you wouldnt hire strangers. But you know what else is common in Latin American countries? Teenagers saying no and goofing off with their friends. It's not a continent of child labour.
Load More Replies...Next time she comes in the front door, you go out the back. Repeat until they get it.
I want to upvote this many times. But I'm only allowed one.
Load More Replies...Where is the guy who knocked her up and his family? Better yet take those kids to CPS and let his sister and their father get abandonment charges
There's mention of "family" and "tradition", but even grandma seems quite blasé about the sisters spitting out babies without any security of provision from the babies' fathers. In a "traditional" setting, surely grandma would be beating them black and blue for being the neighborhood bicycles? Unless that is the family's traditional employment?
Refuse to come home right after school, and wake up early on the weekends and leave before she can drop her child off. Follow your sister's example of not answering your phone. Also, if grandma refuses to step of and defend you, she should watch the child, regardless of her health (and maybe she will actually stick up for herself).
Stop being home. Tell them you are done babysitting, then leave the house at 6am and don’t come home until 10 pm every day. Go to the library to study or get a part time job. They will rant and rave but they won’t be able to do anything about it.
I don't know if it's possible in any Latin American country, but I would recommend that OP look into suing his sister for unpaid wages. The fact that she'd promised to pay him for babysitting her kids then reneged on said promise by pulling the old "family" line (and don't forget the boyfriend dropping off HIS own kid, so he's involved, too), she deserves to be taken to court and forced to pay compensation, not to mention be embarrassed to the point that folks in the community will point to her and say, "Mala Madre (bad mother)"!
The babysitting hours alone are sabotaging the op's future, because there's not enough hours in the day to try and look after the kids and study. Also op is not the father to them
Funny how all of these sperm donors aren’t expected to provide anything- time, money, supplies, etc., but it’s always the family members who are supposed to step up and step in to take the place of the mother’s p**s-poor decision making. If the father can’t commit to the baby or baby mama, and then the mom doesn’t want to commit 100% to motherhood, why should anyone else be expected to commit to this child? Your family members don’t owe you s**t for being a c**p parent. And I’m calling her a c**p parent because she’s dumping her kid on someone else full time for no pay. Good parents spread the burden by not overwhelming just one person with their child. They’re also grateful for any & all help they can get, & they show that gratitude & respect through money or other forms of payment/reimbursement for the time involved. No one owes you anything because you decided to pop out a crotch gremlin.
Load More Replies...I wouldn't have done it from the gate. Glad he finally grew a pair
If sus drops them off, call your parents and tell them, you are calling cps.
This is super annoying my best friend is a twin and her sister is constantly trying to get her to babysit her daughter who is a 6-year-old poop head that likes to lash out and scream and throw tantrums and her mother never spanks her hell to the no. She assumes because my friend is single and isn't married and has no children of her own she automatically assumes she has a free babysitter. Every time my friend tries to shoot her sister down to deny her her sister gets ballistic on her. It's honestly a classic narcissism. I feel bad for op. And I'm tired of people using but we're family as an excuse that's just leverage for them to take advantage of you. NTA.
There should have been at least a token payment of some kind all along, you are providing a service on a full time basis not just occasionally in a pinch. Even if this kind of arrangement is traditional in your culture she could at least definitely give you some money and some days where she pays for an outside babysitter so you can have a social life . Don't let this thoughtlessness put you off having kids one day, this tradition seems to let parents opt out of responsibility - he/she is with family so it's ok for me to shirk and live a half decently childless life while expecting a sibling to take on the responsibility, so does she also tell people things that happened between you and the kids but making out like it was her there? 😂
NTA. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. If English isn't your 1st language, this is very well written, unless it's a load of BS that someone's concocted. Also re : the last reply, is the censored word p a w n ?. If so, why has BP censored it ? You know, there are plenty of p a w n shops, as well as the other kind.
Absolutely refuse to ever watch those kids again! I'd tell them I will call CPS and report them for child abandonment if they ever leave the kids there again.
definably not the a*****e. I went through something similar. I could write a novel about it.
My brother and I had to do the same thing when we were around 7 and 8. We loved our sister and it was normal to be left at home all alone with a baby. Then our mom left our home country and moved to the USA because she wasn’t making financially. How did she solve her financial problems? She married a random guy and had another kid. Less than 10 years later she was a single mom again and guess who had to look after her kids🙄
Turn the sister in to CPS. You are not a parent. Your sister is abusive and a bad parent and now knocked up again. NO means NO. Live your own life from here on out.
I'd have been on the phone to CPS at 14. Not my job, let the lazy parents take the heat.
I suspect it might not be so simple in whatever country OP lives.
Load More Replies...I’ll get downvoted, but it’s well past time that both sisters got fixed
Surprise! Upvotes for you. They should NOT be having children.
Load More Replies...Hero, and NTA. He's done enough free labour for four years, and he's had enough. If granny or anyone else doesn't like it, they can step up and look after the kids.
Where are the parents? Okay, grandma may have health-issues, and not capable... but again, where are the parents? OP said, they are from Latin-America, where it seems, this is quite common... I have to say, that's a really shítty culture thing.
Its common not to pay your relatives to take care of your kids, and you wouldnt hire strangers. But you know what else is common in Latin American countries? Teenagers saying no and goofing off with their friends. It's not a continent of child labour.
Load More Replies...Next time she comes in the front door, you go out the back. Repeat until they get it.
I want to upvote this many times. But I'm only allowed one.
Load More Replies...Where is the guy who knocked her up and his family? Better yet take those kids to CPS and let his sister and their father get abandonment charges
There's mention of "family" and "tradition", but even grandma seems quite blasé about the sisters spitting out babies without any security of provision from the babies' fathers. In a "traditional" setting, surely grandma would be beating them black and blue for being the neighborhood bicycles? Unless that is the family's traditional employment?
Refuse to come home right after school, and wake up early on the weekends and leave before she can drop her child off. Follow your sister's example of not answering your phone. Also, if grandma refuses to step of and defend you, she should watch the child, regardless of her health (and maybe she will actually stick up for herself).
Stop being home. Tell them you are done babysitting, then leave the house at 6am and don’t come home until 10 pm every day. Go to the library to study or get a part time job. They will rant and rave but they won’t be able to do anything about it.
I don't know if it's possible in any Latin American country, but I would recommend that OP look into suing his sister for unpaid wages. The fact that she'd promised to pay him for babysitting her kids then reneged on said promise by pulling the old "family" line (and don't forget the boyfriend dropping off HIS own kid, so he's involved, too), she deserves to be taken to court and forced to pay compensation, not to mention be embarrassed to the point that folks in the community will point to her and say, "Mala Madre (bad mother)"!
The babysitting hours alone are sabotaging the op's future, because there's not enough hours in the day to try and look after the kids and study. Also op is not the father to them
Funny how all of these sperm donors aren’t expected to provide anything- time, money, supplies, etc., but it’s always the family members who are supposed to step up and step in to take the place of the mother’s p**s-poor decision making. If the father can’t commit to the baby or baby mama, and then the mom doesn’t want to commit 100% to motherhood, why should anyone else be expected to commit to this child? Your family members don’t owe you s**t for being a c**p parent. And I’m calling her a c**p parent because she’s dumping her kid on someone else full time for no pay. Good parents spread the burden by not overwhelming just one person with their child. They’re also grateful for any & all help they can get, & they show that gratitude & respect through money or other forms of payment/reimbursement for the time involved. No one owes you anything because you decided to pop out a crotch gremlin.
Load More Replies...I wouldn't have done it from the gate. Glad he finally grew a pair
If sus drops them off, call your parents and tell them, you are calling cps.
This is super annoying my best friend is a twin and her sister is constantly trying to get her to babysit her daughter who is a 6-year-old poop head that likes to lash out and scream and throw tantrums and her mother never spanks her hell to the no. She assumes because my friend is single and isn't married and has no children of her own she automatically assumes she has a free babysitter. Every time my friend tries to shoot her sister down to deny her her sister gets ballistic on her. It's honestly a classic narcissism. I feel bad for op. And I'm tired of people using but we're family as an excuse that's just leverage for them to take advantage of you. NTA.
There should have been at least a token payment of some kind all along, you are providing a service on a full time basis not just occasionally in a pinch. Even if this kind of arrangement is traditional in your culture she could at least definitely give you some money and some days where she pays for an outside babysitter so you can have a social life . Don't let this thoughtlessness put you off having kids one day, this tradition seems to let parents opt out of responsibility - he/she is with family so it's ok for me to shirk and live a half decently childless life while expecting a sibling to take on the responsibility, so does she also tell people things that happened between you and the kids but making out like it was her there? 😂
NTA. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. If English isn't your 1st language, this is very well written, unless it's a load of BS that someone's concocted. Also re : the last reply, is the censored word p a w n ?. If so, why has BP censored it ? You know, there are plenty of p a w n shops, as well as the other kind.
Absolutely refuse to ever watch those kids again! I'd tell them I will call CPS and report them for child abandonment if they ever leave the kids there again.
definably not the a*****e. I went through something similar. I could write a novel about it.
My brother and I had to do the same thing when we were around 7 and 8. We loved our sister and it was normal to be left at home all alone with a baby. Then our mom left our home country and moved to the USA because she wasn’t making financially. How did she solve her financial problems? She married a random guy and had another kid. Less than 10 years later she was a single mom again and guess who had to look after her kids🙄
Turn the sister in to CPS. You are not a parent. Your sister is abusive and a bad parent and now knocked up again. NO means NO. Live your own life from here on out.
I'd have been on the phone to CPS at 14. Not my job, let the lazy parents take the heat.
I suspect it might not be so simple in whatever country OP lives.
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