Speaking as a former foster child, this story about having to pay for a foster child's surgery is absolute b******t. The state completely covers all medical expenses--ALL of them, including dental. The parents are using their son to grandstand in front of their family, friends, and neighbors. This nonsense should have been reported to Social Services years ago. They would have then determined that these people were not financially fit to raise the kids, and had them placed elsewhere. On top of that, if it was determined that the stipends were misused, the parents would have been required to reimburse the state.

I adopted two of my foster kids and can tell you that they had state health insurance until they turned eighteen. We also had to prove that we were able to provide for their needs, all their needs, before being allowed to adopt! It sounds like this is a bid to get their hands on your college fund for selfish reasons! Don’t let them guilt trip you into anything before you have all the facts!

They don't want him going to college because they would lose a slave to help them with their other children. He's been parentified and they're trying to trap him there forever to do their job.

I hope that 17 year old kid gets out of there ASAP. His parents are monsters.

Many others have said there are holes in this story about medical care for foster and adopted kids. There’s Medicaid if nothing else. Anyway, these parents are money bottomless holes. The grandparents realize this. Op can pour every penny of their college fund and every penny they ever earn into this hole and it won’t fill it up, people who have bottomless money holes are trying to fill another need. To speculate, the parents are trying to prove that they are selfless and loved. I also think they want to turn OP into a third parent, dedicated to caring for the children and possibly replacing them in the future, rather than one of the children.

In addition to what the others are saying re foster/post adoption care services, you can get insurance through the marketplace for like 500$ for a family, if not less. I used to work for Blue Cross Blue Shield and one thing i learned is that only medically unnecessary surgeries are forced to be paid out of pocket. Say the doctors believe it only has a 1% chance of improving the child's life. With all the resources out there, these parents obviously just want to take away the one asset their oldest son has and prevent him from doing better with his life. I hope he had an eye opening from all the helpful comments and moves out. Im the eldest child and was a live in maid, babysitter and source of income as i found out when i turned 18 and moved out that my mom had stolen all of my social security money, 900$/ month for the 3 years after my dad passed. (They bought their 4 bedroom house in 1998 for $32,000 so my money was 3x the mortgage each month, definitely not reasonable expenses)

I don't think this would be a problem in any other civilised country. The education and health care would be free. The parents might be AH anyway neglecting OP's other needs but the rest wouldn't be a issue.

My sister and her husband adopted their son at birth and he is still covered medically, they don't have to worry about it until he's I believe 18.

OP should move out ASAP. It sucks for the little girl to have such irresponsible adults caring for her, but not his burden to bare at all. Let them figure it out. I wonder if the parents can be reported. They should not have kids.

NTA and if you can, ask to move in with your grandparents. That way you'll be safe. God forbid if the parents took out life insurance on you. I don't mean to be morbid, but WTF? Why sooooo many fosters? Money. Now they want more money? Seriously are you sure they are all adopted? No checks coming in? Your parents are class A scam artists and they want your money. Get out now!! Let them worry about their issues, those issues are NOT YOURS. Not your kids, not your problems. And for anyone thinking I'm outrageous I knew an adoptive mother who sold her child to pedophiles. the FBI got involved and the horrible mother sits in jail. Hopefully for the rest of her life. There are some awful people out there that will do anything for money. Go live with your grandparents for a year or two, go to college, and live your life. Be safe.

Get a gofundme started for her surgery...Its your parents job to pay for her medical and not yours. If the get to treating you too bad then ask your grandparents if you can stay with them. You deserve to go to College and be the someone you want to be. God bless you

I'm suspecting that the parents are padding their estimate substantially to get as much money as possible out of the account. I would insist on speaking to the sister's doctor, and the hospital billing department, to find out what the real story is. What are the projected benefits from the surgery? How much do they estimate it will cost? Do they have any programs to help fund surgery for an uninsured child, or could she have access to medicaid? Do they have a payment plan that could let the parents pay over time? The answer to that last one is almost 100% certainly yes - they don't expect anyone to be able to pay quarter of a million out of pocket. The kid needs to move out ASAP, and move in with grandparents. He should keep his college fund, or at least ask his grandparents to help him get to the facts, and make any payment direct to the hospital, not via the parents.

This story personally reminds me of why some people should never have kids and why some people should never adopt or foster. This happens in my own family and me and my sibling are both bio. Fake or not these situations happen sometimes and it's pretty much the reason why I think some people shouldn't have a kid live with them. Sometimes no good comes from it.

There's no need to take your money at all. You are not the one responsible for paying for surgeries. Your parents could start a "gofundme" or get a loan or take a second out or get a 2nd job for a few years. There are many options. Demanding a child give up something is not a successful way to handle your life's challenges when other options are available. The parents are probably jealous of the money. Beyond that, I think they're over pricing the operation. I don't know where you live but the average price in the US for complicated surgeries is about $100,000, so if you feel you need to ante up I'd be asking for an pre-surgical bill of sevices so you can see for yourself. No bill....no money. If they say they can't get you any just know I have gotten them. It will have doctor costs, hospital costs, and anesthesia costs. Then they can call the insurance company up and ask how much they will pay. OR just say no. It is not your responsibility.

Foster parents get funds from the state to foster each child. They also get medical coverage for those children. If they were able to adopt a child, that child has medical coverage for a number of years there after. Your parents just want access to the money your grandparents gave you. Don't be a fool and give away your future.

Hospitals also provide financial aid or even waive the costs of surgical procds, etc when their is financial need. They just have to apply.

NTA. It was my understanding that foster parents were given a stipend. I don't know if your passengers still foster or what. Your parents say that your not helping financially takes away your sister's future. But college is YOUR future. I get that she's 5 and not to blame. However, you aren't her parent not are you responsible for her. It's amazing that her surgery costs relatively close to your college fund. If you are in the US, your parents should be on the ACA - Affordable Care Act. If they truly don't have insurance, please talk to your grandparents. It might be important to use a bit of your college fund to get on the ACA so you don't have any unwelcome health surprises.

These "parents " seem like they love the recognition of taking in all these poor unfortunate souls. So many questions I'd love to ask this young man... Who are they setting themselves up to impress? The community in general? Their church (if they have one)? Do they know another couple who has successfully fostered/adopted several children? They're obviously screwed up and I guarantee they have a motivation no matter how twisted it is. There's something in this for them, it's not just mental illness...what are the odds of a married couple having the exact same delusions? The grandparents are onto them, though. He never mentions either parent working (which would be a great way to have health insurance). I'd bet them $270,000.00 that they're making a living off of the foster kids. What would happen if he told them he'll ask the grandparents for $30,000.00 out of his fund as soon as they withdraw $30,000.00 from the other 8 kids' funds? I'm not convinced those funds exist

This sounds fake....

Parent of a biological kid with serious medical issues. There is a medicaid waiver ( Katie Beckett) that provides medicaid to kids with severe issues even if the parents make decent money. These parents are LYING to the OP to make him feel guilty and hand over the money. They absolutely are not paying for an operation or anything else.

NTA, I agree with many whi say talk with Grandparents and see if you can move in with them. It isn't your responsibility to fork over you college fund to your parents. My opinion is that you need to get out of that house, your parents are toxic to you. They need to get a wakeup call that you are not their fallback bank! Once you get a job after college I feel they will continue to look to you to provide for the family. I'm happy you have the support of your Grandparents as your parents are lacking hugely in that area. Wishing you the best in the future.

Their parents can get shafted.

Honestly.. I know it sounds like not much of an answer. But the so called parents need therapy. This sounds like compounded mental issues. So many questions and possibilities and none of them good.

I agree with everyone here, but Im wondering if its a surgery not covered/approved by insurance?

This is another poor creative writing exercise. As Darth Starfish says below - too many holes in the story for it to be at all believable. If you're going to copy/paste reddit threads, please look for more truthful ones. But good on the fictional grandparents for socking away almost half a million in less than ten years.

Good ol' Americans arguing amongst each other about whether one kid can go to university or the other one get essential healthcare. They really don't see the absurdity of the situation they're in, do they?