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25 Teachers Share The Inappropriate Things Their Students Did That They Secretly Thought Were Hilarious
Interview With Author
You might not realize it, but teachers are people, too! [Overly dramatic gasp!] We know, we know, it’s a shocking revelation, isn’t it? The fact of the matter is that the people who taught us in school (and are teaching your kids right now) have far more in common with us than it appears. Oh, they might appear strict, but they’ve got a sense of humor, too!
The teachers of Reddit banded together to share some truly hilarious tales in a fun and entertaining thread on r/AskReddit. User u/Grouchy_Factor asked them to share some stories about the times they had to discipline their students for inappropriate comments or behavior, but they secretly thought that they were being hilarious.
Check out these teachers’ awesome posts below, and upvote the ones that made you chuckle, dear Pandas. Do you have any similar stories to tell? Do you work in education? We’d love to hear from you. If you have a moment, pop down by the comment section and share your thoughts with everyone.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the thread, u/Grouchy_Factor. They told us about the inspiration for the thread, and shared a couple of absolutely hilarious stories from their own school days that had us giggling in our coffee mugs. Read on to see what they had to say.
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#1
South Indian immigrant kid. Strong accent. Kids were riffing "yo momma" jokes. Kid hems and haws and gets everyone's attention, then drops: "I, too, would make fun of your mother, excepting that cows are sacred in my culture."
According to u/Grouchy_Factor, the inspiration for their thread on r/AskReddit was the 1981 teen comedy, 'Porky's.' The male students are caught peeking in the women's showers and are sent to the principal's office. "Yet the male student suspects are giggling so much at this absurd situation that the principal couldn't help but laugh at the end," the redditor told Bored Panda.
They also shared a couple of extremely memorable and funny situations from their school days. "When I was in '80s high school accounting class, the teacher was discussing 'contra-assets,' or assets that are entered in books as a negative amount. He asked the class what other words used 'contra-' as a prefix, he must have been expecting 'contrary' or 'contradictory,'" they said.
"However in my thought process, the first word to quietly slip out of my mouth was 'contraceptive.' The teacher and other students near me immediately burst into laughter, and other students who couldn't hear me said, 'What? What did he say?' I was pretty embarrassed."
RELATED:
#2
We were doing some very basic fermentation experiments in high school, the one where you add in different amounts of yeast, warm water, and sugar in flasks and you place a balloon over the top to see which one expands the most (aka produces the most carbon dioxide). Anyways, one of the groups overdid it and their balloon exploded sending a gooey yeast mess all over the four group members. One of the kids stands up, removes his goggles, and shouts "I f*****g love science!" at the top of his lungs. This happened to be during an observation. The admin was also trying to suppress her laughter.
#3
Male teacher here. Teaching sex Ed. Going over methods of protection. I was talking about condoms and this guy said, “Hey, Mr. G4m3c0cks, you know that barcode at the base of every condom?”
I said, “Don’t think I’ve ever noticed that.”
He replied, “Oh, I guess you ain’t gotta roll yours down that far, huh?”
I laughed probably harder than I should have.
That's not all, though. "Also in high school math class, he was talking about how the absolute value is represented in writing. That is, chopping off the + or - sign and just showing it as a positive only. This is done by placing the expression to find absolute value within two vertical lines, like |-6| = 6, or |-2x| = 2x. On a xy graph, this has the effect of plotting only positive points for y, or right of center vertical axis. A normal parabola made from y = x² results in a plotted graph that resembles two curved arms joined and reaching up from the 0,0 point. If you change the formula to y = | x² | the result is a single arm on the right side," redditor u/Grouchy_Factor shared the context for what came next.
"The math teacher was of Italian origin and had the reputation of being somewhat loud and flamboyant in class. He asked (shouted) to us: 'First there are two arms. Then there is one arm. Where is other arm??' A classmate of mine immediately blurted out: 'Ask Mr. O______ !' Mr. O at our school was another math teacher but for real he had only one arm. It was obviously a very insensitive comment but I still found it absolutely hilarious in context," they explained what happened.
"I had to cover my mouth with the palm of my hand to force the laughs inside, and thus don't remember the reaction of the teacher or other students. I felt that if I laughed out loud, I would look just as guilty as the perpetrator and may even be at risk of punishment. Definitely a memorable moment in high school. Ironically, this person was well respected and became the valedictorian of my graduating class and he's a successful doctor at present."
#4
Elementary PE class was getting lined up to leave the gym. Biggest kid in my class bent over and of course, had half of his butt crack pop up the back of his pants. The smallest kid in class with his high pitched voice proceeded to yell, "Release the Kraken!".
I was getting ready to get on him when the big kid started to lose his mind laughing. Once he started, the rest of the class and myself started. Big kid was an awesome young man and said he thought it was hilarious.
#5
I had a limited number of pencils to give out so I grabbed a handful of colored pencils and told kids they could use them if they needed to.
The one black student looked at me and said "oh sure, giving me the COLORED pencil again"
We both burst out laughing, pro tip kids if the teacher laughs then you're going to get away with it
#6
My wife, a middle school teacher, once told a kid to walk over and flip off the light switch so the class could see the overhead projector easier.
so...he walked over and gave the switch the bird.
Humor actually helps you retain information better. If educators feel like their students have a hard time remembering difficult information, they can try explaining everything with a dash of comedy. The funnier it is, the more likely they’ll be to remember it!
Meanwhile, laughter helps reduce stress and tension, boosts your immune system, relieves pain, and can be a weapon against anxiety, as well as depression. All in all, it’s essential that you remember to laugh throughout the day—and keep others laughing, too!
#7
I teach kindergarten. One of my sweetest little girls, coming inside from recess, smiles and says “man, it’s f*****g cold outside!” I asked her to repeat herself, and sure enough, I heard her correctly. Hard not to laugh
honeyk 1 year ago
i love when little kids use swear words... it's cute and funny. If it's organic and they're not saying a word bc you laugh or bc they are being feisty.... none of that. just naturally saying 'hey mom! what the f**k are you doing?' or 'what the hell is this s**t?' but in their cute little voices and completely sincere. it's absolutely hilarious. i mean come on people! they are just words. not a big whoopy doo!
#8
Kid printed 1000 copies of Danny Devito photoshopped into a chip and labeled "Danny Dorito" and taped copies of it everyyyyyywhere
#9
My daughter, cutest little blond haired thing around 3yo at that stage was in her car seat behind me en route to the crèche when someone cut me off. I didn’t shout but I just leaned on the horn for what seemed like forever.
When I finally let off the horn and sat back in my seat this concerned little voice from behind me asks: “Daddy, is that guy a c*nt?”
Humor and laughter provide so many benefits. And there’s definitely a spot for both of them in the classroom. Of course, there have to be certain limits: it’s best to avoid swear words, raunchy jokes, and making teachers’ lives hell just because they’re in a position of authority. Remember: they’re human beings, too.
Some level of discipline definitely has to be maintained in the classroom. If every single kid says and does whatever they want, there’s not much point in school at all: there would be chaos and nobody would learn anything. Oh, it’d probably be fun, but the things that the students would learn would be very limited.
At the same time, school shouldn’t be a place where students are scared to speak their minds or express themselves. There’s a balance to be found here, but it really depends on the institution, the educators who work there, and even the kind of expectations that parents have for their children.
#10
I teach preschool, 2.5/3yos. We have a student with a speech delay. He talks but it's not terribly clear. Except during an incident last week. A little girl was being mean to him. He said "Sally is being a B***H!".
We paused.
Coworker: Um...oh! A witch! You called her a witch, right? Like from Halloween?
Kid: No! She's a B***H. Not witch! Sally is a b***h!
Very hard to correct him (and tell mom about it) with a straight face.
To be fair, he wasn't wrong. She was kind of being a b***h to him at the time.
Cyber Returns 1 year ago
Don't teach him to replace it with slapper! Neighbours kid got confused with the girl who kept pinching him and thought it was an instruction
#11
Some kids at a local school painted a penis on top of the library (flat roof) no one knew until it was spotted on Google earth. It was in the paper, just search 'yarm school library penis'. Hilarious.
#12
9th grade student did a report on Whaling. The rubric required images on every slide and, to get their points, students needed to explain their image. Thinking that I wouldn’t notice, he decided to use images of Sperm Whale penises. A new photo on every slide of large pink whale d***s breaching the ocean waves from all angles. I asked him to explain his images. He said, “well, that’s where you get the sperm.” With a very straight face I asked him to come in at lunch. With grave seriousness, I explained that, now that he had exposed 30+ kids to whale penises, we would need to let his parents know. So, he called his mom and, voice cracking he said, “mom….I put a whale penis on my slides,” and started to cry. His mom talked to him about making good choices and how this might effect how others perceive him. But, later, when his mom chaperoned a field trip, we laughed and laughed. She made him tell his dad later that night and once they were alone, his parents laughed until they cried. I shared the presentation with my boss and we thought it was so funny. How brave!! How stupid!! This is my most famous story in my group of friends and I love getting to tell it at gatherings.
If you ever happen to find yourself in a situation where you let slip something funny, but it's completely inappropriate, your goal is to embrace whatever awkward or embarrassing feelings that bubble up. Running away from your embarrassment or pretending that you did nothing wrong can lead to deep-seated feelings of shame. On the flip side, showing signs of mild embarrassment makes people respect you more because they see that you're honest about what happened.
#13
Once had a kid with ADHD, regularly late, really late. One time he turned up and I said, John, you're late again it's nearly 11 o'clock. He replied, what's the problem, you're open all day!?
#14
My wife is a teacher and had to tell off a group of her kids for consistently calling another kid Karen (not her name).
Problem is, the kid in question is definitely a Karen and my wife secretly thinks its hilarious.
#15
Kindergartener shoved her hand into the spinach at the salad line in lunch, held it up and shouted, "leafs is for sheep!" Before throwing it in the ground in disgust.
I had to walk away while another teacher scolded her for wasting food because I couldn't keep a straight face.
#16
I handed a detention to one of my ninth-grade students, and he tried begging his way out of it. He eventually said, "Who do I have to kill or sleep with to get out of this?"
He was not aware that the administrator in charge of discipline had quietly entered the room immediately prior to this. (This was the hilarious part.)
I later related this event to the middle school football coach, without naming the student. He replied, "That sound like something {Actual name of student} would do."
#17
First day of school, I'm learning names of my freshmen and taking attendance. I get to one of my last students and his name is a little challenging to pronounce. I give it a shot and ask how I did. He responds in a very flamboyantly, stereotypically gay voice:
"Umm... that's fine but I don't want to be called that."
Me: "Okay, what would you like to be called?"
"Why don't you call me...Daddy"
#18
I noticed a bunch of kiddos in homeroom being sketchy as hell, sneaking things into their backpacks from their sleeves, etc. Heard one say “what if they search you?!” and “What happens if you take it in school?” Kids are not slick or smart, and did not realize I was standing two feet away from them and could hear every word. One of them was selling something.
More than half the people I grew up with are dead from substance abuse. So I assumed the worst, that it was like, opioids or something. And these are scrawny tweens we’re dealing with here. Lives could be at risk. I genuinely care about these guys too.
So I do what I gotta do, report it, etc. Kids involved get taken into the main office.
Turns out, little dude was selling multivitamins saying it was… Viagra.
Middle school is wild.
Like what was the goal?
#19
A friend of my parents was acting in a University play as Poseidon, who was evil and had various dastardly monologues throughout detailing his nefarious mind.
Anyway, a group of school kids sat in the front row in the audience, all about nine years old.
In the middle of a particularly intense and malicious speech, one of them stood up and shouted, 'F**k off, Poseidon, you’re a w*nker!'
ConstantConstance 1 year ago
Don't underestimate how many swear words a nine year old knows, especially a British one
#20
Had to discipline a student for getting a whole class to sing Stacy's Mom to a pupil called Stacy. Which was really, really funny.
#21
I teach 7/8 year olds at the minute. At lunch time I overheard Child A say to Child B that they can't eat something because they have a nut allergy, then Child C comes in with the comment "but are you allergic to THESE NUTS?" as he cups his balls/pants.
I had to give out to him of course, but I was laughing on the inside! As the child was in tears for getting in trouble haha.
#22
A student signed his name "Dixie Normus". That gave me a good chuckle.
#23
After telling kid he needs to buckle down and get work done..
He point blank told me that if I just sit there on my a*s all day, he can sit on his a*s and not do work too.
Ballsy move kid. It didn't pay off as I sent him downstairs but I still chuckle about it.
#24
Had a lovely senior class that I adored. The girls started asking if they could be like my daughters (I was 28 when this convo happened). And I say “of course!” And another says “can I be your favourite daughter?” And I laugh and say “of course!”.
Then one of my boys says “can I be your favourite step-son?” And I had to keep a straight face and send him out.
My male coworkers had tears and were pissing themselves with laughter when I told them.
He then had to explain to our principal and his mother what the reference meant.
#25
I was an assistant teacher at an after school program a few years back. It was towards the end of the day when parents and family were picking up the kids.
There was an older, plus-sized woman (presumably a student's grandmother) waiting for one of the kids to get their things together. Another kid points at the woman and says rather loudly, "Why does she have no neck?!"
I quickly and firmly scolded him to stay quiet, but managed to keep my laughter in until I made it to the break room.
ShyWahine 1 year ago (edited)
Took my 4 yr old nephew to the swimming pool at the hotel we were staying at. Passed by the jacuzzi with an extremely hairy man in it (we're talking thick, dark hair covering entire chest, back, and arms). My nephew turned to me and whispered loudly, "Why is that man wearing a sweater in the hot tub?" 😳😬
What do you think ?
Kel_how 1 year ago
I had a b*tch of a 4th grade teacher; she was super mean, sarcastic, and dismissive. Well, one time the class wouldn't stop talking, so she kept saying, "excuse me" to get our attention. Finally, I burst out, "you're excused!" I was so shy and quiet, but something just came over me.
Littlemiss 1 year ago (edited)
It's amazing what kids will come out with. One 4 year old told us her mother used to have a naughty cupboard she had to sit in (we never did find out if it was true). Another child told at morning talk, how his parents grew special plants in the roof of the house, a policemans kid that also attended told his Dad. The following week the first child told everyone how the pigs came to his house and took the plants away. The list goes on.
Nonna_SoF 1 year ago (edited)
My mom is a teacher, kindergarten and 1st grade. She has a student who she suspects needs glasses, the school arranges and pays for an eye doctor appointment, the student proceeds to steal $3,200 worth of eye glass frames. With the mom watching. On surveillance camera. The mom tried to deny it. Apparently didn't notice the obvious cameras.
Sh_alien 1 year ago
When my 12 year-old was a toddler, my husband, her older sister and I were all coloring together at the kitchen table. We were having fun talking and giggling, and all of a sudden my beautiful baby with the most angelic face you’ve ever seen and sweetest softest voice exclaimed, “WHERE’S THE F*****g beige??? I didn’t even know she was aware that beige is a color that exists. My husband and I immediately burst out laughing, while my oldest, who was about 4 years-old, just looked a little panicked and confused. Funny thing is, she HATES swear words, now. She’s very strait-laced. We’re not sure how that happened.. . I also recall a moment when she just said “sh*t sh*t sh*t” repeatedly for no reason.
Via Hawk 1 year ago
In school the other week (I’m a freshman btw) this kid who always skips class with his friend saw the friend waiting outside the door, he asked to use the bathroom and the teacher, who clearly knows he skips, but is required to send him if he has to go, says as he leaves “what’s so exciting about the bathroom?” And I came up with this joke on the spot (I am proud of myself). And I didn’t even pause to think of the trouble I would get in, but I said “mrs [teachers name] surely you know, all the s**t happens in the bathroom!” And we all were quiet for a minute , then my teacher goes “ba dum chhh”. And this kid who sits in front of me goes “mrs [teachers name] are you really gonna let that slide?” And she says “it was actually pretty funny. So I’m gonna let it slide this once. But via, don’t swear in my class again ok?” It was really funny actually
Alison Long 1 year ago
Do you spend much time around children? I do, and these are totally believable.
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Kel_how 1 year ago
I had a b*tch of a 4th grade teacher; she was super mean, sarcastic, and dismissive. Well, one time the class wouldn't stop talking, so she kept saying, "excuse me" to get our attention. Finally, I burst out, "you're excused!" I was so shy and quiet, but something just came over me.
Littlemiss 1 year ago (edited)
It's amazing what kids will come out with. One 4 year old told us her mother used to have a naughty cupboard she had to sit in (we never did find out if it was true). Another child told at morning talk, how his parents grew special plants in the roof of the house, a policemans kid that also attended told his Dad. The following week the first child told everyone how the pigs came to his house and took the plants away. The list goes on.
Nonna_SoF 1 year ago (edited)
My mom is a teacher, kindergarten and 1st grade. She has a student who she suspects needs glasses, the school arranges and pays for an eye doctor appointment, the student proceeds to steal $3,200 worth of eye glass frames. With the mom watching. On surveillance camera. The mom tried to deny it. Apparently didn't notice the obvious cameras.
Sh_alien 1 year ago
When my 12 year-old was a toddler, my husband, her older sister and I were all coloring together at the kitchen table. We were having fun talking and giggling, and all of a sudden my beautiful baby with the most angelic face you’ve ever seen and sweetest softest voice exclaimed, “WHERE’S THE F*****g beige??? I didn’t even know she was aware that beige is a color that exists. My husband and I immediately burst out laughing, while my oldest, who was about 4 years-old, just looked a little panicked and confused. Funny thing is, she HATES swear words, now. She’s very strait-laced. We’re not sure how that happened.. . I also recall a moment when she just said “sh*t sh*t sh*t” repeatedly for no reason.
Via Hawk 1 year ago
In school the other week (I’m a freshman btw) this kid who always skips class with his friend saw the friend waiting outside the door, he asked to use the bathroom and the teacher, who clearly knows he skips, but is required to send him if he has to go, says as he leaves “what’s so exciting about the bathroom?” And I came up with this joke on the spot (I am proud of myself). And I didn’t even pause to think of the trouble I would get in, but I said “mrs [teachers name] surely you know, all the s**t happens in the bathroom!” And we all were quiet for a minute , then my teacher goes “ba dum chhh”. And this kid who sits in front of me goes “mrs [teachers name] are you really gonna let that slide?” And she says “it was actually pretty funny. So I’m gonna let it slide this once. But via, don’t swear in my class again ok?” It was really funny actually
Alison Long 1 year ago
Do you spend much time around children? I do, and these are totally believable.
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