Mom Asks If She Is Wrong For Not Backing Down On Her Child’s Teacher Calling Her The Proper Name
InterviewMost of us have a preferred name that we like to be called. May it be our official name, a shortened version of it, our surname or just some nickname that somebody once called us and then it just stuck. However, there are also the same names or nicknames that we hate to be called by.
And while sometimes it may look like a small thing, there are people who take this seriously. You know, a funny story, once I got called a shortened version of my name that I hated and I just started crying. So yeah, sometimes people take it seriously.
More info: Reddit
If a person asks you to call them by their proper name, it would be nice if you could listen to their wishes
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Mom shares that her 14 Y.O. daughter Alexandra doesn’t like to be called by any other or shortened versions of her name
Image credits: u/Sudden-Difference767
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
However in school, her Spanish teacher insisted on calling her ‘Alejandra’ as a Spanish version of her name
Image credits: u/Sudden-Difference767
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Despite the teenager’s corrections, the teacher ignored it, thus that’s when the mother decided to interfere
Image credits: u/Sudden-Difference767
She contacted the teacher and asked her to call her daughter Alexandra if it’s not that big of a deal for her
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared her story, asking folks in one of the most judgmental communities if she was being a jerk for not backing down on her daughter’s teachers calling her the proper name. The post received a lot of attention and in just 4 days it had over 22.3K upvotes and 9K comments.
The author starts her story by explaining that her 14 Y.O. daughter Alexandra doesn’t like to be called any other version of her name, just the original. In middle school, her Spanish teacher started calling her ‘Alejandra’ – as the Spanish version of her name. However, the teenager corrected the teacher and she respected it.
But now she is in high school, and a new Spanish teacher started calling her by the Spanish version of her name. The main difference was that even after correction, the teacher didn’t pay attention to the teenager’s request. After OP’s daughter came back upset, she decided to write an email to the teacher. After a little argument, the teacher gave up, but OP’s husband says that she blew it out of proportion.
Community members gave the author the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and discussed that OP was right to back her daughter up, but there were also opinions that it was not that big of a deal after all. “Just in case there was any doubt, my best friend is a John who has lived in Italy for twenty years, and nobody has ever – not once(!) – called him Giovanni,” one user wrote. “This is a prime example of how parents have become overbearing and exhausting,” another contradicted.
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Bored Panda got in touch with Samantha, who is a parental blogger and founder of Walking Outside in Slippers. She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding the importance of parents advocating for their children, when children should handle conflicts on their own and potential risks of always advocating for kids’ preferences.
“I feel it’s important for children to know they are supported by their parents,” Samantha says. She shares that despite encouraging kids to speak up for themselves, she respects parents’ decision to advocate on behalf of their kids’ wishes, especially when the child’s voice is not being heard.
“My daughter’s name is Josie, pronounced Jos-see, but people frequently mispronounce it Jos-zee. I don’t often say something when that happens because I understand the error, but it does bug me,” she shares. She states that she can appreciate a parent defending the correct pronunciation of their child’s name, but this situation seems a bit different. “Even so, I believe a teacher should respect the wishes of a child and parent when it comes to name pronunciation,” she added.
Now, speaking about situations when parents should allow their children to handle conflicts independently, Samantha shares that from her experience, empowering children to do that is important to their personal and social growth. However, some issues rise above their ability to handle. So, long story short, it’s on parents to use judgment on when and how to step it and help their child resolve conflict.
And finally, the parental blogger emphasizes that consistently jumping in to solve problems for a child isn’t doing them the service of teaching them independence and self advocacy. “You want to teach your children to resolve their own issues, which will be a tool they can use throughout their lives,” she states.
So guys, what do you think about this story? Was mom overstepping and daughter overreacting? Or was it disrespectful from a teacher’s side to call her the ‘Spanish version’? Write your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors had different opinions, though mostly folks wrote that teacher was in the wrong
If someone was called Miguel would we demand to call them Michael if they went to an English speaking country? A name isn’t just a name, it’s an identity, and by changing someone’s name without permission, it’s erasing that identity. I’m with the mum on this one.
I myself have an Italian name, yet I don't live in Italy, so my name isn't pronounced like the Italians would. However, when I go to Italy or the Italian speaking half of my country, they still pronounce my name the way I introduced myself and not locally. It seems like a really weak excuse to tell a student this would happen.
Good point about people in other countries using the person's preferred name. I'm in Canada and have colleagues from quite a few different origins. No one renames Alejandro or Barkhad. One colleague with a 4-syllable name shortened theirs, but that was their choice. Someone else kept all 3 syllables, so I practiced saying their name on my own.
Load More Replies...If teachers have to respect a student and refer to them by whichever gender they prefer, then they should sure as hell have to pronounce their name the way the student prefers. NTA.
Especially when the boy's French name sounds like a girl's name in English!
Load More Replies...If someone was called Miguel would we demand to call them Michael if they went to an English speaking country? A name isn’t just a name, it’s an identity, and by changing someone’s name without permission, it’s erasing that identity. I’m with the mum on this one.
I myself have an Italian name, yet I don't live in Italy, so my name isn't pronounced like the Italians would. However, when I go to Italy or the Italian speaking half of my country, they still pronounce my name the way I introduced myself and not locally. It seems like a really weak excuse to tell a student this would happen.
Good point about people in other countries using the person's preferred name. I'm in Canada and have colleagues from quite a few different origins. No one renames Alejandro or Barkhad. One colleague with a 4-syllable name shortened theirs, but that was their choice. Someone else kept all 3 syllables, so I practiced saying their name on my own.
Load More Replies...If teachers have to respect a student and refer to them by whichever gender they prefer, then they should sure as hell have to pronounce their name the way the student prefers. NTA.
Especially when the boy's French name sounds like a girl's name in English!
Load More Replies...
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