Parents strive to provide their children with tasty and nutritious meals, but what happens when their kid’s tastebuds don’t match up with those of their peers?

A mother on Reddit is asking if she’s a jerk for packing her son “disgusting and inappropriate” lunches after she received a call from his teacher and heard that the food is “distracting for the other students and has an unpleasant odor.”

The woman doesn’t know what to do. Does she risk a fight with the school? Or upsetting her son by editing his menu?

This woman just received an unexpected call from her son’s teacher

Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto (not the actual photo)

And was told to stop packing him stinky lunch

Image credits: Ferks Guare (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

Image credits: flowergardens0

By the time a child is 5, they can eat a healthy balanced diet like the one recommended for adults.

However, it can be quite a hassle to find what they like. Pediatrician Claire McCarthy, MD, hears parents complain about it all the time.

“All children are picky eaters at some point or in some way during childhood; it’s part of how they assert their independence,” McCarthy wrote. “But some children are pickier than others, stubbornly refusing to eat everything except a few chosen foods.”

Image credits: Tanaphong Toochinda (not the actual photo)

An article published in the journal Pediatrics gives some insight into picky eating. Researchers looked at the habits of children ages 4 to 9 and discovered that picky eaters tended to stay that way. That means that moms and dads need to start early to prevent it, preferably before their child turns 2 (and that independent streak really sets in).

“Offer lots of different foods, including lots of different fruits and vegetables,” McCarthy said. “Don’t cook a separate kids’ meal. Let your child eat what you are eating (with one important exception: no choking hazards). That obviously works best if you are eating a variety of foods, so be adventurous yourself.”

So it sounds like u/flowergardens0 might actually benefit from changing up her kid’s menu.
The aforementioned study also found that when parents were very strict about the foods that the child could and couldn’t eat or were demanding about the child’s eating, the child was more likely to be a picky eater.

“Some of that could be a chicken-or-egg thing: when a child seems picky, parents might be more likely to want them to eat healthy or high-calorie foods — and really want them to finish them,” McCarthy explained. “However well-meaning this may be, it can make things worse.”

“Much of picky eating may be related to negative thoughts and memories about certain foods, or eating in general. The more that you are upbeat and positive about eating, the more likely your child will be that way too,” the pediatrician added.

Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)

Here are some ideas she shared on how to do that:

• Have family meals — and enjoy each other during them. “Eating together puts the emphasis on the social aspect of eating, rather than the food itself, which can be helpful,” McCarthy said. “It’s most helpful if that social aspect is pleasant, so put aside the devices and use mealtimes as time to catch up with each other, tell funny stories and otherwise enjoy the time together.”
• Don’t force a child to eat. Encourage them to try new foods, but don’t argue about it. Do not make them finish everything on their plate but try to not let them snack all day (or fill up on milk or juice) too; if possible, they should arrive at a meal hungry enough to want to eat.
• Involve your child in meal planning and preparation. “Look at recipes together; be willing to try new and different things,” McCarthy continued. “Take them shopping with you. If you have the ability to grow some foods or spices, have your child be involved in that, too.”

Hopefully, u/flowergardens0 finds a solution as well.

Some people believe the mom is doing nothing wrong, and also mentioned racism

But others said she should be more thoughtful of her son’s classmates

And some believe that “everyone sucks here”

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