The idea of switching weddings could be given a positive interpretation, you dodged a bullet and it could bring you an your sister closer. BUT it shouldn't cost you a dime! No one needs to make a bargain of your sorrow, and no one close to you should even want that.

It's true there are 2 sides to every story but the poster made it clear that this is all very painful for her. If she was relieved and somewhat happy that she's not marrying a cheater then, maybe (very maybe), it would be okay to pass the wedding on to her sister, but the sister would have to fully refund her. And to potentially wear the dress is outrageous.

that's high level assholery from author's sister

it was supposed to be HER date. I can't imagine how would she feel every time that anniversary came up. also how could they expect her to have fun and enjoy her sister's wedding when she just got cheated on? I hope she cancelled the whole thing.

It's the fact she told everyone but you first. Then had the cheek to say 10 month repayment plan which trust from experience she'll start paying then let it die off slowly. You are not an a*****e you want to move on with your life and have time to heal. Besides which it's like you said you need that money for a holiday

Two words can deal with most dumbass requests by family members. F**K OFF!!

No money, no wedding. Period. If the sister feels great just taking over someone elses plans, ok. Weird, but why not. But to inform everybody about this and only THEN asking her sister if she is ok with it, is a giant d**k move. If I was in the shoes of the poster, I would pribably not atteend or at least not attend all of it. i certainly would not do it without payment upfront knowing that my sister is a selfish weasel.

This all could have been handled so much better. For the sister to just say, 'we're taking your wedding and I'm going to wear your dress, ok?' really sucks. They didn't even discuss it with her before they dropped that bomb. I would have told them all to go f themselves, too. But if they had approached me before they started planning and gently said, "I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did, I can't imagine what you're going through. But I thought maybe we could turn lemons into lemonade by using the venue and vendors, if that's ok with you. I promise to pay you back for everything and this is what I can afford to give you each month." And then leave out the part about the dress entirely. Get your own dress, that's going to be a heartbreak to see someone else in it no matter what. That's what would have angered me the most.

If I were the other sister I'd: ask the jilted sister how she felt about it. If she was okay with the basic idea, I'd darn well make sure I had a legal payment plan ready before asking her. If she said no, I'd give her a hug. (If, of course, she didn't pull a drama queen hissy fit over the question.) If I were the jilted sister, I personally might get some satisfaction sending wedding announcements, or even invitations to, jerk, his family and friends. But to sister, the first thing I'd say would be "Show me the money!"

Your money. Your planning. Your refunds. Either she could have gotten a loan knowing she could repay it then and there before asking or just kept quiet and supported you. You didn't do anything wrong. It's like throwing a party and having to cancel last minute. You went and returned what you could. That doesn't mean because you can't throw a party someone else gets to host it.

As per description, the woman was right to cancel the wedding; most likely would not get paid back.

so sorry

NTA. Her sister should've checked with her. She also should've been more considerate of her feelings.

I would have asked my sister if she'd like to take it over. However, that isn't happening. I can't imagine this girl's pain. Her fiance goes behind her back and cheats, and then her sister goes behind her back and the mother supports it. Her whole world is unstable, and she can't get the support and respect she needs from her own family.

this is why I'm down with eloping and surprise weddings

My sister would never ever do this to me.. Some people can be so selfish when it comes to their bussiness.. The only thing the sister have to do is to hold you and comfort you.. because that is sister are for..

I stopped reading when her story ended. She did the right thing and her family was f'd up for even asking such a thing never mind going about in such an underhanded way. It was almost as though they were waiting to tell her all of this until they knew she wouldn't be able to get any refunds. I hope she goes on a long vacation and the sister elopes to Vegas.

Emancipate. Get out of there. Not having a family is better than having...whatever the f**k this is.

Honestly, the sister taking over the wedding is something MY sister would do.

If possible perhaps the parents could have paid her back and then let the sister pay them. Unless, of course, they know that sister won't pay. The only mitigating factor for the sister is that she apparently volunteered to do a lot of the work. It really seems they could have come up with some solution. Finally, I'm pretty sure that wedding insurance is available. For a wedding this expensive it would have been worth it.

Yeah the whole thing stinks

Everytime I read one of these wedding stories, I feel bad for the OP and embarrassed for the family members that think that behaving like this is normal. I would never ever ask my sister who has been jilted by her fiancee if I can take over her wedding. It always seems like the person who wants to take over the wedding has pulled stunts like this their whole lives. If you are too lazy and too cheap to plan your own individual wedding then maybe you should be married at your local courthouse.

This is a Yes and No on the A**hole thing. I, like you, would have given the family a chance to buy the wedding off of you so you could get your money back...but the dress is off limits. That's too personal. And as far as your sister saying she'd pay you back half of the 60%..uhm..no. It's either the whole enchilada or nothing. If she can't cough up the money, let your parents reimburse your costs and then they can collect from your sister. As far as knowing that they are getting married at your venue, on your anniversary..that's just something you'd have to get over. It doesn't mean you have to go to the wedding, but..other than money..there is nothing in concrete saying that the venue or the date is solely yours and yours alone.

Again, Again, Again I wish to bring to your attention that you are only getting one side of the story. I think it is morally wrong to make a judgment without hearing from the sister and the mother. Why does Boredpanda insist on including these screwed up family dramas? Even Jerry Springer lets both sides vet!

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I am realizing that manz people have a very strange relationship with money. Rather than doing something that is rational and reasonable, they will rather engage in trouble...just for the sake of it.

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The groom didnt pay because hello...women go nuts over weddings..spending thousands they dont have just to have her day... My point exactly..its not his day