You have learned much young padawan, you are ready for the trials

DONT TOUCH ME

I live in Florida, I'm allergic to the sun, and I can't stand sunscreen! For a normal day out, I jump from shade to shade like a vampire!

Mommy tip... I used to have problems with my little one until I got one of those makeup sponges and started uses those. I even showed her how to do it so that she could help and it made a world of difference!

SPRAY ON SUNSCREEN The first time I saw that stuff my inner old man grumbled about it being more expensive and wasteful (compared to creams). But man, if you are trying to apply it on babies / toddlers it is SOOOO much easier than the lotion based stuff. Also if you are like me and don't like the feel of 'goop' on your skin, it is a bit less intrusive in that regard as well.

Or a typical housecat

Nope.

I <3 my IUD

Sun SCREAM

🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣

WAAA I DON’T WANT A RACCOON I WANT A PLATYPUS!!

Or if you hand it to them so they can do it themselves, they squirt out a literal baseball sized glob and try to rub it all on one arm.

There would be some fatassed mosquitoes around me.

Take my upvote

OH MY GOD. Free day on the last day of work. Office chair races, paper football tournaments, trashketball tournaments, wine and beer on tap...Yes please

Hold on a minute 🤔

Yeah that about about sums it up

We all must strive to be like him.

When is Duck Week?

Put it in your shoe! Totally safe and unsuspecting

*Laughs in teacher*

But maybe you could watch the sunrise. Or is that too early?

Note to self... buy popsicles.

If you figure it out, tell me! I'm asking for a friend.

Who's knocking on my window?? Oh it's just a big june bug thinking at some point my glass is going to disappear

Sorry, Mom

well I knew that, they also did birds

I kind of prefer that weather...

Yeah but by the time you get there you’re just handing them a bag of water and it’s not even that cold anymore

I remember when there was summer. Or seasons in general. Now it just gets hotter and colder and i still have to go to work.

I wish to be able to hibernate through the summer, give me winter!

Doing stuff in this heat in unbearable at times. I'll enjoy video games in a cool apartment.

And I woke up and chose...to stay inside a play games all day

BP did not censor the name?

"Today, only 1 kid was eaten alive by a bear, and only 2 received rabies from the family of squirrels who live in the westward oak..."

From this point forward, they shall be known as summer pumpkins

My parents stayed in their chairs day drinking and yelling at us from the shore...

He forgot to add "trip" to the list, especially if it was five hours to get to the campsite

I thought this was going a different direction... LOL

Dan here is dropping facts.

But the sand tastes so good!

Parent: who wants to be buried alive and left for dead! Kid: see Ryan Reynolds post.

It's the storage elves; they're tricky little buggers that love to mess with us

Hit myself in the nuts killing a mosquito... I've been ready for the pumpkin spice since last Saturday.

Probably counter productive tbh bc of the effort it takes to waggle the sandwich around

I was watching some children at field day as a teachers helper and they were rubbing two sticks together apparently I wasn’t supposed to mention flint and steel or teach them the proper technique

tbh with kids there is no vacation, it is their vacation not yours.

As long as she's happy and accounted for, enjoy! Pass me a beer...