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There is no shame in not knowing things, if you are willing to learn. Even just asking the right questions is a great start. However, it’s pretty important to note that for every “right” question, there are some semi-incomprehensible and downright dumb “wrong” questions.
Someone asked “What's the stupidest question someone ever asked you?” and netizens shared the most mind-numbing queries they’ve ever heard. So get comfortable as you scroll through, prepare to be deeply confused, upvote the most unhinged examples and if you’ve also heard a deeply dumb question, feel free to share it in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
-can you stay overtime?
-am I getting paid extra?
-you are already getting paid a salary
-I get paid for 40 hours a week.
-do it for the company
-what does the company do for me?
-it gives you a job
-I work for money. It's business. The company keeps me because it's profitable for the company.
Never work for free, kids.
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#2
Client called at 8am, livid, and said "You guys are a terrible company that can't even build a calendar app right, I tried to make a booking for 30 February and couldn't even find it. Tell me how do I make a booking for 30 Feb if it only displays till 29 Feb?"
Damned_Cat 2 weeks ago
I had a boss accuse me of deleting appointments from his calendar. It turns out that when he entered them on his phone, he was entering them for 1 or 2 a.m. instead of 1 or 2 p.m. The phone would sync to his computer calendar which was set to only show appointments between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m.
#3
Her: Whats the longest 5k you ever ran?
Me: 5k
Her: I thought there were longer ones?
Me: Yeah, 8k, 10k, half marathon, etc
Her: so the longest 5k you ever ran was a half marathon?
Me: what the f**k is happening.
#4
Was living in my spouses deceased grandparents house. Had a phone call:
Caller: may I speak to Mr. deceased?
Me: uhh no I’m sorry he passed away.
Caller: may I speak to Mrs. diseased then?
Me: she died recently too.
Caller: Well then when you you expect them back.
Me: Hopefully no time soon!!
#5
I am quite tall in comparison to the average height of where I live.
A coworker: "Don't you think you are being a bit inconsiderate, being so tall?"
I still don't know what they were trying to say.
Family's_disappointment 2 weeks ago
"Don't you think you're being a bit inconsiderate, by being so dumb?"
#6
_as I help my 94 year old granddad set up his walker next to the car, my 81 year old grandma and her two crutches_
Whyyyyy are you parked in the disabled spot?
It's for the nice views, a*****e.
#7
Person: "I can't move to England, I don't even know what language they speak!"
Me: "English... England... English..."
Person: "Are you sure?".
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 weeks ago
English person here. Cor blimey we don't half speak English.
#8
Was the IT admin for a small company at the time. The power went out, as happens occasionally. The secretary rang my phone and asked me if the phones were working. She did not say she was testing to see, but asked if they were working. over. the. phone.
#9
"Can you take off your glasses?"
"Yes... I can?" *Takes them off*
"I never knew you can take glasses off"
Madeleine Christiansen 2 weeks ago
When I was little I used to actually be dumb enough to believe that glasses were apart of people's bodies. Hugs to the person who said that!!!
#10
I was talking to someone and mentioned that I had visited Japan the previous year.
"Oh, is that where Japanese people come from?"
I was taken aback for like 3 seconds before I stammered out a yeah.
Bill Swallow 2 weeks ago
Oh, the urge to channel MAD Magazine's Al Jaffee's 'Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions'!
#11
Classmate: What race are you?
Me: Ethnically I'm Polish and Chinese.
Classmate: I knew you were mixed! But are you sure you're not Korean?
Me: Congrats, and yes, I'm sure.
Classmate: Nah man, you're kidding me. You're definitely Korean, I have friends that are Korean.
Me: I'm Chinese.
Classmate: Can you speak Korean?
Me: ...Good bye.
#12
I live in the Netherlands, and my mother is from Hong Kong. I had to do my dutch presentation about the protests happening right now, and my teacher asked a lot of questions that weren't talked about in the presentation itself. But of course I could answer them all, and even correct her a few times. My classmates later asked why I know so much about the subject, and so I told them that my mother is from HK. They then proceeded to ask me "why is your mother from Hong Kong".. I was so confused, and asked what they meant, and they just repeated the question...
#13
Working in a bar with an upstairs and downstairs, one of the new waiting staff at the end of the night during clean up asked me if she should sweep the dirt up or down the stairs. I said up the stairs and left her to it.
#14
"What are eggs made of?". Not like chemical make up, but if they had flour in them. Cause of the whites. If they had butter in them. Cause of the yolk. This kid (23 y/o) was a box of bricks.
Tiffany Marie 2 weeks ago (edited)
Some lady thought there wasn't a need for farms anymore and why bother? Then they were asked where do you think food comes from? She said.. duh!! The grocery store!
#15
I was the one asking the stupid question. When I was like 12 I was at a taco food truck at the county fair and my options were either a shrimp or chicken taco. I meant to ask ”is there a difference in price” because the fair always gets ya and instead I only said “what’s the difference?”
The lady said “Well one’s shrimp and one’s chicken.”
And I felt stupid.
#16
*trying to move one of those big, multi purpose weight machines, and they noticed it's set to its heaviest setting*
"Why don't we set it to its lightest setting so it'll be lighter?"
To their credit, they realized about ten seconds later why that was a dumb question.
UncleJohn3000 2 weeks ago
"The TV used to have a k**b marked brightness but it couldn't turn up the intelligence." ~ Gallagher
#17
I am a woman with a twin brother. I can't tell you how many people have asked me if we are identical twins...
#18
A: where can in find a security guard?
Me: Security is located in the pavilion over there. They can be reached 24 hours a day.
A: What if I need them at night?
#19
Everyday. Every single day at work.
Answer work phone “Dave speaking” “Hi can i speak to Dave please?”.
#20
Customer buying a bottle of water at a coffee shop: "Is this real water?".
#21
My mom asked me if Florida is in California. We’re Canadian and she’s been to both states.
Bill Swallow 2 weeks ago
Anyone can have an occasional brain fart. It's when you exceed your daily quota you got to worry.
#22
Most of my stupid questions come from my dog grooming customers.
The most recent was: “Do you use different scissors that cut the hair to different lengths?”
Yes, because that’s what your hairdresser does, right?
I also love getting variations on the question of “what would happen if the dog was ‘living in the wild’ and couldn’t be brushed?” It’s always asked by people who don’t brush their dog, causing it to be a jacked matted mess which I have to shave. Listen, Karen - when was the last time you saw a wild goldendoodle?
Joe Reaves 2 weeks ago
I can tell you from experience (I adopted a neglected bichon) that if they were 'living in the wild' they could lose limbs due to matting. Groom your f*****g dogs people.
#23
My friend and I went to a gas station while out cruising around and she bought some munchies. She put a five on the counter and the cashier stared down at it like she'd never seen such a thing exist, and asked, without moving...
"Is that a 5?"
To this day I have no idea why she was so flummoxed by a five dollar bill sitting next to her cash register.
#24
I used to work in retail when I was 16.
I was cashiering when a woman came up and gave me a coupon for 20% off the total purchase. When I told her the total she seemed displeased and asked me, “did it take 20% each item or the entire total?” And I had to desperately explain to her that it’s the exact same thing.
Rahul Pawa 2 weeks ago
When you do the rounding can slightly alter the price. Like if you add up the numbers and multiply by 0.8 and then rounding to the nearest penny could give a different answer then multiplying each item by 0.8, rounding to the nearest penny, and then adding them together. I can't imagine it would be more than a few pennies difference, not enough to matter to most people.
#25
"What did people in apartments do before stairs were invented?"
"Is kingdom come a place in China?"
Same person.
#26
"Where do you find the calorie info on shampoo? I can't find it.".
#27
I have two roommates. We split the cost of household supplies (toilet paper, paper towels, garbage bags, etc) I recently went to target and bought these things. divided the cost by 3 and told everyone what I was doing. One of them asked if this meant she "gets money back" because she had just venmo'd me January's rent. this is just one of many insanely stupid questions she has asked.
Mason Kronol 2 weeks ago
I’ll be honest, when I first moved out with a roommate and he moved out 6 months later I didn’t realize I had to pay rent at the first of the month for the next mont, not the end of the month. I was not prepared for life. I did my own grocery shopping and some things but suddenly being on my own in my late teens-early 20s and having to navigate banking, taxes, utilities, insurance and healthcare was scary. They don’t teach you that stuff in high school.
#28
I went to a high school that was majority white, and one day in class a girl asked me.. “So.. do black people.. like.. have black blood?”
I didn’t even have the energy to respond to the stupidity.
#29
When someone asked me where I'm from and I said "Venezuela" their response was "what part of Africa that in?".
General Anaesthesia 2 weeks ago (edited)
At least they seem to know that Africa isn't a country but they're confused with vuvuzela.
#30
I was born on an AirForce base. I remember in school one day we were doing one of those about you things that the teachers always assign on the first day and I put the base I was born on in the spot that asks where you're born. We then share it to the class (6th grade) and some kid dead serious asked me "so if you were born on an AirForce base were you born on the runway or something?"
*The base had a hospital and my dad was active duty when I was born that's why I was born there*.
Lost Panda 2 weeks ago
Since Air Force was mentioned... Rando: Oh you were in the Air Force, what did you fly? Me: I was medical... Rando: Oh, so you flew the medical helicopters? Me: ... yes... yes that is exactly what I did...
#31
"Is okay to swim with a dead dog in the pool?"
-Phone call I took while working at a pool store.
And no. No, it is not okay to swimming with a dead dog in the pool.
#32
We have twins. So many people asked us if we were trying for twins.
#33
Having dinner in the dining hall at University.
A friend asks me 'How big is a star? Could one fit in this room?'
I quietly let her know that one would probably not fit in the room...
#34
Worked at a living history museum and we always had a smoky fire burning to help create ~atmosphere~
One lady asked me, “Is that a real fire?” After years of working with the public, it took all I had not to reply, “Touch it and see.”.
S. Maxudov 2 weeks ago
I heard a story once about a street performer juggling torches. A cop was going to cite him for using an open flame in public without a license, so the juggler passed his hand through the flame quickly and said, "oh, no, it's just stage fire." And the cop said, "ok," and left him alone.
#35
A guy I used to work with asked me whether French and Italian were the same language. I appreciate that he was making an attempt to learn, at least.
#36
This is not a joke. I was in class for the first day of 9th grade and the home room teacher introduced herself: “My name is Ms.IDontRememberHerName and I’ll be your home room teacher for the 9th grade. She then asks the students to introduce themselves, and when the first person introduced himself the teacher genuinely said: “Nice to meet you. What grade are you in?”.
#37
I got a call from someone trying to use a web application I wrote. This application had been live for a year without problems, not it wasn't accepting this person's email address. After talking through what they were entering, including making sure they were putting "@aol.com" in their AOL email address, I started to crack open the code thinking that there was some weird edge case that they had triggered. That's when they asked: "Do I need to put my email address in the field that says 'email address'?"
Yes, they were putting their email address in a different field and wondering why it wasn't working.
Pandemonium 2 weeks ago
We code to make it idiot-proof but they keep churning out idiots who are idioter
#38
“What’s the difference?”
In response to me asking, “Would you like sea salt or oregano?”
I thought he was joking and responded, “Well, one’s sea salt and the other is oregano.” He got really mad and started going off “Well I could’ve told you that!” Luckily his friends weren’t douche bags and shut him up by telling him he was being stupid and it wasn’t a difficult question, he was just being a d**k while I was doing my job.
#39
*Me applying for a job*
Boss: why do you want this job?
Me an intelectual: I am hungry.
#40
“Wow, your English is really good. Do you speak Canadian?”.
#41
"Are lizards animals?" This was a highschool senior. They weren't joking.
#42
I was at the main desk of the library I worked in at the time. I picked up the phone and the caller asked, with no preamble or context, "Is this the library down the street?".
#43
As this moron pointed at Chinese writing on his shoes, he said: "hey, you speak Oriental, right? Can you translate this thing on my sneakers?".
#44
My girlfriends mom asked me if verbally Abusing my girlfriend is okay "if it's from her parent".
#45
"If you look up Google on google does it bring you to Google google?" This person was dead serious and that was the day I lost faith in humanity.
What do you think ?
Howl's sleeping castle 2 weeks ago (edited)
Instead of asking if I am a Christian this guy asked me if I am Jesus Christ. Took me 10 seconds to understand
BeesEelsAndPups 2 weeks ago
If you knew the number of people I've met claiming to be Jesus Christ, this question wouldn't be that strange. Anyways, are you?
Load More Replies... 07000 2 weeks ago
I can't remember the number of times I have been asked if I spoke Indian? Or if I spoke Hindu (a religion) or if I am a Hindi (a language). But I try to be understanding considering that India is a huge country and not many of those who have asked these questions have been to India. Btw, I am Indian, who is a Christian and who speaks only Tamil (i.e. that is the only Indian language, in addition to English and a bunch of other European languages).
Sanfranswty 2 weeks ago (edited)
When I was about 21, my mom told me that Hitlers mom tried to have an abortion but it didn't work.... I shouted "oh no" and was momentarily genuinely sad to learn that Hitlers mothers abortion was not successful!
Nat Rich 2 weeks ago (edited)
Eh? Sorry, I'm confused. It is sad it didn't work right?
Load More Replies...
Howl's sleeping castle 2 weeks ago (edited)
Instead of asking if I am a Christian this guy asked me if I am Jesus Christ. Took me 10 seconds to understand
BeesEelsAndPups 2 weeks ago
If you knew the number of people I've met claiming to be Jesus Christ, this question wouldn't be that strange. Anyways, are you?
Load More Replies... 07000 2 weeks ago
I can't remember the number of times I have been asked if I spoke Indian? Or if I spoke Hindu (a religion) or if I am a Hindi (a language). But I try to be understanding considering that India is a huge country and not many of those who have asked these questions have been to India. Btw, I am Indian, who is a Christian and who speaks only Tamil (i.e. that is the only Indian language, in addition to English and a bunch of other European languages).
Sanfranswty 2 weeks ago (edited)
When I was about 21, my mom told me that Hitlers mom tried to have an abortion but it didn't work.... I shouted "oh no" and was momentarily genuinely sad to learn that Hitlers mothers abortion was not successful!
Nat Rich 2 weeks ago (edited)
Eh? Sorry, I'm confused. It is sad it didn't work right?
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