As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

So when Reddit user and mother NoMarket159 learned about her daughter being wrongfully accused of bullying at school, she decided to help her in every way she could.

But as the woman explained in a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘, her initiative instantly received pushback from the parent whose kid ended up in her crosshairs.

This mom knew just how much effort her daughter had put into studying

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

So when her grades dropped considerably, she felt like something was wrong

Image credits: Daniel R. Blume (not the actual photo)

Image credits: NoMarket159

Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum thinks that it’s important for parents to find common ground with their child’s school

Image credits: Honest Mum

We at Bored Panda wanted to learn more about establishing a positive and collaborative relationship between families and their children’s teachers, so we contacted our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent. She is the founder of the acclaimed family blog Honest Mum and a multi-award-winning TV director and broadcaster, who can also be found on Instagram @honestmum.

“When approaching the school after issues arise, it’s important to remember they have the child’s interest at heart, as you do,” Broadbent told Bored Panda. “Parents should approach teaching staff in a calm and measured way, ideally in a face-to-face meeting to discuss ways to find out more about the issue and circumstances involved to garner a clear idea and to, of course, problem-solve together intending to resolve issues promptly.”

As a former teacher, and a mom of three, her best advice is to ask parents to “try not to take any feedback personally and to work amicably with the school to rectify issues. Most schools will want to follow their procedures (whether the issue is related to bullying or friendships) with a duty of care to the pupils involved.”

Broadbent, who is also the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), believes that all schools should have a robust procedure when it comes to bullying. “It’s important to remember children who bully are usually suffering themselves in some way and require support to help them stop hurting others,” she explained. “All children must be protected and the school is best placed to handle this. If you feel the school is failing in its responsibility, you can seek to complain to the board or the council depending on where you live.”

Unfortunately, this incident is just a drop in the bucket

Izzy Kalman, a nationally certified psychologist who has been working in schools and private practice since 1978, says that many serious cases of bullying begin with a false accusation.

“Kids and adults alike have become victims of relentless bullying, and some have even taken their own lives … Lawsuits against schools for failing to put a stop to bullying have proliferated,” Kalman explains. “In virtually all such lawsuits, the school is accused of doing little or nothing to stop the bullying, while the school insists that it has zero tolerance for bullying and followed mandated procedures.” Judging from the Reddit post, this particular school wasn’t taking the girl’s version seriously, either.

So how should we help a child who finds themselves in such a difficult predicament?

Kalman believes the answer to this question is through empowerment rather than protection. “We will never put a stop to the pain and tragedies resulting from bullying as long as we believe our duty is to protect kids from each other and to act as courts of law whenever a child complains about another,” he says.

“It is so much more effective to teach them how to handle hostility on their own. Furthermore, the lessons will empower them for a lifetime, because accusations and bullying are, unfortunately, not limited to the school years.”

Luckily, since this girl took a proactive approach and recorded evidence, it appears that she’s already on the right path.

Image credits: Ivan Aleksic (not the actual photo)

As the story went viral, the mom provided more information in the comments

People thought the author of the post did nothing wrong

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