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Man Breaks Down Why Strict Parents Unwittingly Set Their Children Up For Failure Later In Life
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Man Breaks Down Why Strict Parents Unwittingly Set Their Children Up For Failure Later In Life

Person Explains How Strict Parenting Sets Kids Up For Failure In A Viral Thread“Moral Of The Story Is: Rebel”: Person Breaks Down Why Having Strict Parents Sets You Up For Failure In This Illuminating ThreadTwitter Thread Explains How Having Strict Parents Sets You Up For Failure Later In LifeMan Breaks Down Why Strict Parents Unwittingly Set Their Children Up For Failure Later In LifeTwitter Thread Explains How Strict Parenting Sets Up Kids For Failure In Different Areas Of LifeMan Writes A Wise Thread On How Strict Parents Set Their Kids Up For Failure Later In LifeMan Breaks Down How Strict Parenting Sets Children Up For Failure Later In LifeMan Writes An Explanation On How Strict Parents Unwittingly Set Their Kids Up For Failure Later In LifeMan Breaks Down Why Strict Parents Unwittingly Set Their Children Up For Failure Later In Life
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We all had that one friend at school who had to be back by 8pm no matter what. Some say putting discipline on their kids is healthy, but when does it become too much?

And although harsh discipline strategies like yelling and spanking are no longer something that millennial parents would tolerate (after often having experienced a fair share of that from their own parents), that doesn’t mean strict parenting tactics have become redundant.

Recently, a Twitter user @theyaobansah shared an illuminating thread on how “having strict parents sets you up for failure later in life.” So he broke down the ways that growing up with strict parents affects your walks of life, like career choices and relationships, and the thread has resonated with many people. Amassing 64.4k likes and 17.3k retweets, it shed light on the scope of damage that overly controlling parents can sometimes cause.

Image credits: theyaobansah

Image credits: theyaobansah

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Image credits: theyaobansah

Image credits: theyaobansah

Image credits: theyaobansah

Image credits: theyaobansah

According to the recent survey conducted by Zero To Three, 73% of parents named parenting as their biggest challenge in life. However, when it comes to disciplining their children, parents seem to use a wide range of tactics, but many are not seen as the “most effective” approach in raising kids.

More than half of parents, 57%, said that they honestly struggle with figuring out the most effective way to discipline, while 42% say they do not want to yell or raise their voice as quickly as they do. Moreover, 35% agreed that they lose their temper too fast and that they’re not happy with that.

The same survey showed that parenting styles and approaches are slowly shifting from that of the previous generation’s moms and dads. While moms and dads say that the way they were raised is a primary influence on their own parenting, many say they are more positive and present and use fewer harsher discipline tactics than their own parents used with them.

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As a result, roughly half of all millennial and Generation X parents see themselves as being more positive and present, which gives hope that needlessly harsh discipline is finally becoming redundant.

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Denis Tymulis

Denis Tymulis

Author, Community member

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Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

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Denis Tymulis

Denis Tymulis

Author, Community member

Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite

Author, Community member

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Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Read less »

Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite

Author, Community member

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other than the title suggests, this is not really about strict parents. It is about unrealiable, selfish, controll-feaky ones. Parents needs to be strict in the literal sense to a certain degree, because the worst that you can do to your kids is to be neither reliable nor consistent in your decisions. This means, that an occasional "no" is a "no", even if it is strict sometimes – unless there is a good reason to abandon what you decided earlier. Being strict does not imply not listening to your children and being up for reason! However, the basic relationship should be built on trust, in both ways. And this includes letting children take their own decisions as often as reasonable, and that from a very early age on. This naturally limits the degree of strictness and will lead to a balance. And it particularly means to always treat children with respect and dignity – from changing the first diaper on.

Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents I admire are strict about certain things (such as doing homework and chores), but allow their children to express themselves. They also tailor expectations and approaches to each child, based on each child's character and abilities. I was raised by strict over-protective parents (so not well-prepared for adulthood), so I'm impressed by their kids being responsible young adults when I was out partying way too much at their age.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strict parent: be polite, do your chores/homework, at least try new foods, do your best .... punishment is a sad face and a lecture and you feel bad ..........CONSTRICTIVE parenting: You do as I say or I beat you down with words and/or fists There is a difference. Mom was strict. Dad was constrictive. Mom saw her children as small people. Dad saw as slaves to obey him and who knows what-else. .......Strict as in having rules is fine. CONstrictive ----- punishment for normal behaviors like not being perfect ----- is NOT.

Pepper DeVoe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Mom sounds like your Dad. Any advice on how to talk to her about my problems? I have tried but she tells me "I'm being dramatic."

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Lila Wells
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another thing: Absolutely wrecked my social life. If I finally made friends, my parents never letting me out if the house or having any sort of social media (even Pinterest!) made me lose all of them

Juliette Schulze
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg this. Whenever I bring up getting social media or even texting apps (I was only allowing WhatsApp when I turned 13 and my parents read all my texts and had to approve what people I texted with) my parents would get annoyed and tell me that people shouldn’t rely on social media to make friends. But the truth of it is, when you don’t have stuff like that it’s harder to connect with people and when that connection isn’t there you eventually start losing friends.

Load More Replies...
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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other than the title suggests, this is not really about strict parents. It is about unrealiable, selfish, controll-feaky ones. Parents needs to be strict in the literal sense to a certain degree, because the worst that you can do to your kids is to be neither reliable nor consistent in your decisions. This means, that an occasional "no" is a "no", even if it is strict sometimes – unless there is a good reason to abandon what you decided earlier. Being strict does not imply not listening to your children and being up for reason! However, the basic relationship should be built on trust, in both ways. And this includes letting children take their own decisions as often as reasonable, and that from a very early age on. This naturally limits the degree of strictness and will lead to a balance. And it particularly means to always treat children with respect and dignity – from changing the first diaper on.

Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents I admire are strict about certain things (such as doing homework and chores), but allow their children to express themselves. They also tailor expectations and approaches to each child, based on each child's character and abilities. I was raised by strict over-protective parents (so not well-prepared for adulthood), so I'm impressed by their kids being responsible young adults when I was out partying way too much at their age.

Load More Replies...
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strict parent: be polite, do your chores/homework, at least try new foods, do your best .... punishment is a sad face and a lecture and you feel bad ..........CONSTRICTIVE parenting: You do as I say or I beat you down with words and/or fists There is a difference. Mom was strict. Dad was constrictive. Mom saw her children as small people. Dad saw as slaves to obey him and who knows what-else. .......Strict as in having rules is fine. CONstrictive ----- punishment for normal behaviors like not being perfect ----- is NOT.

Pepper DeVoe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Mom sounds like your Dad. Any advice on how to talk to her about my problems? I have tried but she tells me "I'm being dramatic."

Load More Replies...
Lila Wells
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another thing: Absolutely wrecked my social life. If I finally made friends, my parents never letting me out if the house or having any sort of social media (even Pinterest!) made me lose all of them

Juliette Schulze
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg this. Whenever I bring up getting social media or even texting apps (I was only allowing WhatsApp when I turned 13 and my parents read all my texts and had to approve what people I texted with) my parents would get annoyed and tell me that people shouldn’t rely on social media to make friends. But the truth of it is, when you don’t have stuff like that it’s harder to connect with people and when that connection isn’t there you eventually start losing friends.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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