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“Men, DO THIS”: Bartender Warns Woman About A Suspicious Guy, Inspires Others To Share Similar Stories (35 Stories)
Bartenders can be some of the most perceptive people out there. They can read the room and they can definitely notice when someone doesn’t have the best of intentions towards some of the other guests. In short, they have the power to be everyday heroes and protect their customers from men with dubious intentions.
Case in point, New Yorker Laura Motta shared a simple but very effective way how a bartender kept her safe from a potentially dangerous guy sitting at the bar. Her tweet immediately went viral, getting nearly 800k likes on the social media platform, and inspiring others to share similar stories.
People opened up about how they were protected or protected others themselves, whether in bars, on the street, or elsewhere. We’ve collected the most powerful stories. Scroll down to read them, Pandas. And if you want to open up about the times someone kept you from harm or you saved someone in need, you can tell us all about it in the comments.
More info: Twitter | LauraMotta.com
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#2
B181 2 years ago
Weird how we're supposed to consider this good. The OP blacked out, and woke up in another place, with people she didn't know. Please DO NOT do this. yes, it's cute in movies, but no, it's still very much kidnapping. If you see someone potentially drugged against their will and want to intervene - great. Call the cops and an ambulance; keep the person safe in the location they're in, and wait. A) In most countries this would still count as kidnapping B) date rapists are not always careful with what they're administering and how much - odds are getting them to a hospital to pump their stomach is the best thing you can do C) if someone DID drug her, the cops will want the drink in question for investigation and may want to interview the bartender and others about potential perpetrators. D) This group of people TOOK someone WITHOUT their consent, moved them elsewhere, and "kept watch over them" all night. Even with the very best of intentions, this is misguided.
Zaza 2 years ago
I once picked a drunk boy up off the sidewalk, where he was passed out. Had someone help me almost drag him to my place (that was half a block down the road). Kidnapping? He was barely legal drinking age, passed out, alone, outside. What do you think might have happened to him had I not put him on my couch? Robbed, beaten, maybe raped or worse? I'm a single woman, you think I'd sit on the street for hours waiting for help, risking my own safety? He was comfortable, safe, warm and dry, with someone to keep an eye on him, not 2 mionutes walk from where he crashed. You would call it kidnapping? The gall!
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Wend kirk 2 years ago
I was in Ft. Lauderdale in a youth hostel. A girl asked me to keep her company to go to a bar to dance. She set me up to be drugged as I only remember being put in a car by several men a few bits after that and waking up in my room with bruises in places I couldn’t have done to myself. Not all women help other women ☹️
Betsy Hirons 2 years ago
Those are some really cool girls! I hope there are many more out there like them!!
moonlit muffins 2 years ago
question where do these mysterious drugs put in the drink even come from? they shouldn't even be available
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
The girls didnt think to call the police and have her taken to hospital for monitoring the effects of being drugged with unknown, potentially dangerous, substance? Maybe cute, but really stupid.
#3
Nick Lasley 2 years ago
It's great that they helped, and I'm not saying they had any ill intentions because they obviously didn't, but it's weird that he didn't just stop the guy from tampering with her tire, or warn her about it, instead just decided to temporarily freak her out by surrounding her car.
Laura, based in New York, is an editorial director, content strategist, and lifestyle writer who specialized in travel. Her viral tweet and the entire thread that followed showed just how complicated and potentially risky real-life really is.
There are plenty of dangerous people lurking out there. But there are also kind folks who go out of their way to help a stranger. It’s the best and the worst of humanity. And sometimes a friendly bartender giving you a warning on their phone screen can be the only thing protecting you from future harm.
#6
Potty pagan panda 2 years ago
It would have been good to note his number plate and report to police. This a**hole might try with someone else :((
This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has written about bartenders rushing to the rescue of their patrons. For instance, Benjamin Smith, a bartender working in Los Angeles, explained to us in an earlier in-depth interview how bartenders create secret signals for customers to show that they’re in need of assistance. One such sign is ordering an ‘angel shot.’
When you order an ‘angel shot’ at a bar that has them, the bar staff know that something’s not right and will do everything that they can to protect you from unwanted attention and potentially dangerous customers.
#8
(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago
Good, but I think the bartender should've given her non alcoholic from the beginning, the other dude was obviously a creep. Still nice of the bartender, scary situation!
#9
Man in the ceiling 2 years ago
Good on him! More bartenders should do this if they spot someone acting shady around a persons drink.
“The angel shot has saved and will continue to save lives,” bartender Ben told Bored Panda that it’s vital that people know ‘angel shots’ exist to help patrons.
As a bartender, he has already had to step in to help some clients. “I have definitely had to Intervene in multiple situations where someone has felt uncomfortable. Most bars have security so they are helpful in assisting in these situations,” he said.
#12
According to the bartender, a vital part of working as a bartender is being able to read the room and people’s body language. The job is so much more than just taking orders and serving drinks!
“I think it’s key that bartenders are aware of their surroundings and pay attention to guest body language. I can easily tell if someone is uncomfortable or may need my help,” Ben explained to Bored Panda, adding that he was glad that his video helped educate industry workers, as well as guests, about the ‘angel shots’ secret signal.
#13
Mouse 2 years ago
I did something similar, just no one was around to hear me. I was waiting in a parking lot to pick up my husband from working late one night. Hear a noise, look up and there's a guy penguining it and having a good time with his hand. I thought if I turned on my highbeam headlights he would be embarrassed and stop. But, no, he used the lights like he was on stage somewhere and quite proud of the show he was giving me so I honked, still nothing, yelled at him, no reaction, just staring and getting a workout. I just shut off the lights while he did his thing and then he went back into work. Weird moment.
#15
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 2 years ago
It's great to see people actually being upstanders. Maybe all those seminars in school actually worked.
In LA-based bartender Ben’s opinion, ‘angel shots’ are “something we should all know about.” In that particular bar, there are 3 variations. For example, ordering an ‘angel shot’ with lime means that you need police assistance.
Meanwhile, the ‘neat’ variant means you need someone to walk you to your car because you don’t feel safe going out alone. Lastly, there’s the on-the-rocks version of the ‘angel shot’ that signals the bar staff that they should call you a taxi. Of course, these signals can vary from bar to bar and state to state. So it’s best to have a frank chat about these sorts of things with the staff if you visit a bar regularly.
#19
RJ The Drama King 2 years ago
If it looks like an abusive situation to others it might be one. Honey throw the whole husband out
Absolutely anyone can be a victim of harassment. However, some groups of people are particularly vulnerable and can become targets more often.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to put an end to harassment in all of its forms, told Bored Panda some time ago that harassment can happen anywhere. It’s something that isn’t restricted to a single place. It can happen on the street, in bars, in the supermarket, on social media.
#23
Man in the ceiling 2 years ago
It’s always odd how when predators get their odd plans foiled by decent people they get irritated like they’re getting majorly inconvenienced.
“At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” the expert noted.
#26
Destiny Harbour 2 years ago (edited)
To think that so many guys feel entitled to hunt women like prey and expect nobody to stop them!!
However, a strong and tight-knit community can help protect the most vulnerable members from potential dangers.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” Emily explained to Bored Panda.
#29
Katy McMouse 2 years ago
In cases like that, I think it would also be good to call the cops. It's one thing to be harassed in bars by drunks, but to have someone stone cold sober, in a store, following and sexually harassing you, is a whole other animal. You know that this isn't his first time doing this, nor is it his last.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she said that having a network of people you can trust can help you feel safer.
#33
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Never assume something like that. People often need protection from family too!
#34
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What do you think ?
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
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aceofspades 2 years ago
oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 2 years ago
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
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B181 2 years ago
Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
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MizAdeleM 2 years ago
In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
Jo Cooper 2 years ago
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
My O My 2 years ago
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
Janet C 2 years ago (edited)
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 2 years ago
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
Masen Silas 2 years ago
Id like to help but im usually the sketchy stranger, im also small and quiet as a man, even though I can fight, lol
Monkeywrench Productions 2 years ago
i wont ever help a woman again. you wanted your 4th wave feminism, you got it. you wanted your metoo and accused everyone of us. you got it. youre on your own.
Seabeast 2 years ago
Oh, ffs. If you can't tell the difference between expressing an interest in a woman and harassing her after she's made it VERY CLEAR she isn't interested, then you deserve to be alone.
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Rick Seiden 2 years ago
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
Load More Replies... aceofspades 2 years ago
oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 2 years ago
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
Load More Replies... B181 2 years ago
Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
Load More Replies... MizAdeleM 2 years ago
In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
Jo Cooper 2 years ago
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
My O My 2 years ago
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
Janet C 2 years ago (edited)
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 2 years ago
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
Masen Silas 2 years ago
Id like to help but im usually the sketchy stranger, im also small and quiet as a man, even though I can fight, lol
Monkeywrench Productions 2 years ago
i wont ever help a woman again. you wanted your 4th wave feminism, you got it. you wanted your metoo and accused everyone of us. you got it. youre on your own.
Seabeast 2 years ago
Oh, ffs. If you can't tell the difference between expressing an interest in a woman and harassing her after she's made it VERY CLEAR she isn't interested, then you deserve to be alone.
Load More Replies... 
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