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Folks Are Cracking Up At These 30 Things Straight Guys Said While Being Flirty, As Shared Online
Though everyone craves attention, this urge is frequently seen negatively by our society.
From a technical point of view, attention does wonders for our development and social skills. Plus, it shields vulnerable people, like the elderly and those with illnesses, from potential isolation.
That said, whether we crave it to feel good about ourselves or otherwise – all reasons are valid, so why should we be so ashamed to recognize it?
Even though everyone is aware of how nice it is to have someone's undivided attention, the issue is that not many folks know how to utilize it wisely, especially those individuals who try to impress someone with whom they want to develop an intimate relationship (yes, I'm talking to you, you flirtatious kings and queens).
Well, today, Bored Panda decided to gather a collection of hilarious tweets that summarize what it's like to be hit on by a typical straight man.
Image credits: Tony Alter (not the actual photo)
This post may include affiliate links.
First and foremost, the definition.
The brains of the internet, Wikipedia, describe the term flirtation as a "social and sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, or if done playfully, for amusement" – in short, a person's acts that usually indicate a playful sexual interest in another.
Now, you may not know this, but flirting provides a number of benefits for your health; for instance, it greatly impacts your self-esteem. Picture this, you've had a terrible week, called up your pals and proposed a nice outing to a bar; you flirt with strangers just for jokes, yet when they give you the same energy, you feel wanted and worthy.
Ideally, we should be able to build that confidence without depending on people we'll likely never see again, but having a little fun never hurt anybody.
Human beings are social creatures; we are literally hardwired for connection.
However, in order to establish that connection, we must communicate, and as many of you know, sometimes it's not as easy as it might seem, so this is where flirtation comes in handy.
Approaching people may be tricky, especially in the social media era when everyone is so used to being able to premeditate what they want to say, and, of course, for those who suffer from social anxiety. Initiating flirty small talk gives you the ability to step up your communication game, as during those moments you're not clouding your brain with the things you want to say next; instead, you're just going with the flow.
And as for those who struggle with anxiety, playful conversation helps to break down the barriers, and the idea of not having to get caught up in the potential "end goal" eases the nervousness that comes with the whole dating malarkey.
Now, let's talk about the stars of today's show – men.
According to the "Flirting with Meaning: An Examination of Miscommunication in Flirting Interactions" study that was published back in 2004, in general, people tend to flirt for these exact reasons: sex, fun, exploring, esteem, and relational and instrumental motivations. Men, in particular, however, have a propensity to regard flirtation as more sexual than women do.
Could this be the cause of some guys' abject failure at flirting? Who knows, but we do know that if done wrong, it can be a tragedy.
The thing is, you have to read the room before initiating a conversation.
Some individuals do a poor job, which frequently leads to trouble. Unwanted attention and inappropriate pick-up lines can turn the situation awkward real quick – and who knows, maybe you'll even get a drink or two thrown at your face.
While it would be a great help, there isn't a special guide that will turn you into a natural flirt, yet there are a few things you might want to keep in mind.
If you're looking for a long-term connection, it's vital to keep your cool and not over-romanticize your approach. Hitting someone with a cheesy romance film quote will either turn them off or scare them away all together – so take a chill pill.
Also, don't be a creep; no one likes a stranger that's being way too sexual. And while expressing interest through touch is a common tactic, be smarter and keep your hands to yourself.
Lastly, drop the "Where's my hug at?" Just drop it.
We hope that you've enjoyed this somewhat icky yet incredibly humorous collection of flirting tactics. Let us know which one you dread the most!
Stems from the dangerous misguided observations of people who tell girls that if some boy is mistreating them it must mean they have a crush on them. You know, “Boys will be boys, tee-hee”. I never heard anything that reeks of horseshit more than coming to that dangerous conclusion. And I expect way better behavior from my MEN.
That’s the point you excuse yourself to the ladies room and leave via the back door
I hate it when some men goes after us just because we're latinas. "Ooh, I like latinas", dude what about my personality.
My mans IS very lucky, thank you for noticing. It is a four-leaf mans. I water it every day. I consulted an astrologist and a fortune-teller to make sure I acquired the luckiest mans available.
no i dont i actually do not. Where did asking for your number go?
Wish I could upvote more than once. I get asked for my Snapchat at least once a month for real.
What's your Snapchat? (Please don't hate me I'm only doing this for the joke)
Load More Replies...LMAO I didn't think this was considered flirting, my crush asked for my Snapchat. I told him I don't have Snapchat, because I didn't at the time.
The one that gets me every time: you're gorgeous. (No reply) you're so beautiful, want to hook up? (No reply) why aren't you answering me baby girl? (No reply). He then sends the infamous dic-pic. (No reply). F*ck you. You're fat and ugly and I'd never date you! (Still no reply and the interaction took place in less than a ten minute span).
Some of these are true but others not so much. Like the "hi" one, are you for real?! So men can't say hi to a woman now huh?
Some of these aren't that bad. Ice breaking sentences can be hard and a cheesy pick up line can be difficult for some people. You don't have to be mean about rejecting them.
When the grocery cashier if i have plans for the rest of the day. Just putting away these groceries.
My Instagram bio clearly states me being happy with my SO, yet every time I get these messages from men "wanting to be friends and getting to know you", I always tell my SO, who also gets his fair share of female friend requests... I just don't get it.... Just from a bio pic someone decides they want to get in contact but they don't take half a minute to read a bio and save themselves the trouble ;) I always respond with telling them they've got their apps mixed up, we're not on tinder but insta, so bye XD
A random guy I HELPED at supermarket just Ask me to take my sunglasses off. I asked him why, of course it was to *see my eyes*, I told him no and that seeing my eyes wouldn't change his life. Fun fact : in France we have a catch phrase saying "is your dad a thief ? Because he stole all the stars from the sky and put it in yours eyes". In summer I don't wear skirts anymore to avoid those men, but you are NEVER safe
LOL someone once DMed me on instagram (i had an insta account for about 3 months and I deleted it soon after this story occured) and said I was hot, I told him I was aseggual and he never said anything after. The sick (in a bad way) thing here was, he was in his 30s and I was still a minor
Not really a pick up line, but the guy and I had been getting to know each other. Gonna make myself look a little bad here: I mentioned wanting to go to England to a guy-- partly cause of my English major and all the literary ties-- and he said "why not go to London, where Shakespeare was born?" My social anxiety legit had me thinking that I was wrong my whole life and London wasn't actually in England because this guy's comment implied that it wasn't, and I was too flustered to realize that this person I barely knew could be wrong. (Overall a good guy though, good dance partner, also he was wrong about Shakespeare, not born in London). To this day I have to google it before I tell this story because my anxiety keeps going "but what if you're wrong?" 😅
These reminds me of once when I was young. This migrant worker comes up to me and says: Hello little sweatheart" (Translated imperfectly from danish). I nearly collapsed with laughing. I am 6 ft. he was about 4ft. 6. I understood of course, that he didn't mean to insult me, so after laughing I told him, that little is best to use, if you are actually taller than the woman. Reading all these put downs make me think, that some women are unnecessarily harsh. Even if the man is a little inept he may not mean to be belittling you.
Yeah, but somehow these asshats still get to have intercourse..., do the math
The one that gets me every time: you're gorgeous. (No reply) you're so beautiful, want to hook up? (No reply) why aren't you answering me baby girl? (No reply). He then sends the infamous dic-pic. (No reply). F*ck you. You're fat and ugly and I'd never date you! (Still no reply and the interaction took place in less than a ten minute span).
Some of these are true but others not so much. Like the "hi" one, are you for real?! So men can't say hi to a woman now huh?
Some of these aren't that bad. Ice breaking sentences can be hard and a cheesy pick up line can be difficult for some people. You don't have to be mean about rejecting them.
When the grocery cashier if i have plans for the rest of the day. Just putting away these groceries.
My Instagram bio clearly states me being happy with my SO, yet every time I get these messages from men "wanting to be friends and getting to know you", I always tell my SO, who also gets his fair share of female friend requests... I just don't get it.... Just from a bio pic someone decides they want to get in contact but they don't take half a minute to read a bio and save themselves the trouble ;) I always respond with telling them they've got their apps mixed up, we're not on tinder but insta, so bye XD
A random guy I HELPED at supermarket just Ask me to take my sunglasses off. I asked him why, of course it was to *see my eyes*, I told him no and that seeing my eyes wouldn't change his life. Fun fact : in France we have a catch phrase saying "is your dad a thief ? Because he stole all the stars from the sky and put it in yours eyes". In summer I don't wear skirts anymore to avoid those men, but you are NEVER safe
LOL someone once DMed me on instagram (i had an insta account for about 3 months and I deleted it soon after this story occured) and said I was hot, I told him I was aseggual and he never said anything after. The sick (in a bad way) thing here was, he was in his 30s and I was still a minor
Not really a pick up line, but the guy and I had been getting to know each other. Gonna make myself look a little bad here: I mentioned wanting to go to England to a guy-- partly cause of my English major and all the literary ties-- and he said "why not go to London, where Shakespeare was born?" My social anxiety legit had me thinking that I was wrong my whole life and London wasn't actually in England because this guy's comment implied that it wasn't, and I was too flustered to realize that this person I barely knew could be wrong. (Overall a good guy though, good dance partner, also he was wrong about Shakespeare, not born in London). To this day I have to google it before I tell this story because my anxiety keeps going "but what if you're wrong?" 😅
These reminds me of once when I was young. This migrant worker comes up to me and says: Hello little sweatheart" (Translated imperfectly from danish). I nearly collapsed with laughing. I am 6 ft. he was about 4ft. 6. I understood of course, that he didn't mean to insult me, so after laughing I told him, that little is best to use, if you are actually taller than the woman. Reading all these put downs make me think, that some women are unnecessarily harsh. Even if the man is a little inept he may not mean to be belittling you.
Yeah, but somehow these asshats still get to have intercourse..., do the math