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“She Packed A Bag”: Man Blows Off Wife’s Cleaning Demands, She Finally Loses It
Disagreement on house chores is one of the root causes of arguments among married couples. That accounts for 55% of survey respondents in the UK and 25% in the US, which went as far as divorce.
The couple in the story you’re about to read is part of these statistics. The man is a stay-at-home dad who couldn’t keep up with his working wife’s cleaning standards. The bickering and name-calling pushed the woman to leave with their kids and bunk at her mother’s house for a while.
The tension urged the author to ask the AITAH subreddit if he was in the wrong, to which he received candid responses.
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House chores are one of the common reasons for arguments among married couples
A man was unable to meet his wife’s cleaning standards, causing a major fight
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
He detailed the list of chores he deals with daily as a stay-at-home dad, which he found excessive
Image credits: Gary Barnes/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The bickering urged the wife to leave with the kids for her mother’s house and the husband to ask the internet for answers
Image credit: amithehubslob
Traditional gender roles play a role in the uneven distribution of housework that leads to rifts
Image credit: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to author and marriage consultant Sheri Stritof, traditional dynamics among husbands and wives often lead to housework disputes.
Her article for Very Well Mind mentioned how chores that “involve greater autonomy” are often characterized as a “man’s work.” These may include lawn mowing, sorting out household finances, and repairing whatever’s broken.
Stritof says that “repetitive” and “mundane” chores are usually associated with women. These may be cooking, doing laundry, or washing the dishes.
As Stritof also pointed out, uneven distribution of household chores may lead to severe repercussions. Couples may experience decreased marital satisfaction, increased distress, and worse mental health, all of which may increase the risk of divorce.
The role switch wherein the author is the stay-at-home parent and the woman is the breadwinner could contribute to their misunderstanding. It may have exacerbated the couple’s clashing perceptions about cleanliness and organization.
Household chores aren’t the root of the problem
Image credit: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to couples counselor and licensed psychologist Dr. Heather Z. Lyons, housework could help couples understand each other better.
“Through housework, we communicate levels of importance in the relationship, we show our partners that we recognize them, uphold or challenge gender roles and connect,” Dr. Lyons said in an interview with NBC News.
The couple’s inability to meet each other’s standards has resulted in conflict, which has led to the wife running to her mother’s. Based on the author’s story, they didn’t seem to take a more diplomatic approach and instead went straight to name-calling.
In such situations, Dr. Lyons advises couples to hash things out and “get to the heart of how you feel,” whether it’s burdened or unsupported. According to her, this could explain what triggered the ill feelings for both parties.
The husband did recognize his fault and the need to help more around the house, which is a good sign of progress. Credit goes to him for that.
What do you think, readers? Do you agree with how the situation ended?
The husband provided more information through the commenters’ questions
Most people thought he was being a jerk
But a few were on his side
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What do you think ?
Little Wonder 3 months ago
"She thinks the bathroom needs to be cleaned weekly". My dude. Yes.
Nikole 3 months ago
This article made me tug at my shirt collar in an, “Oh no… Are these people correct?” kind of way. Note to self: try harder.
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DarkViolet 3 months ago (edited)
This guy is living like he's single. You can't do that when you have a family. Leaving dishes in the sink for a couple of days is setting the table and ringing the dinner bell for ants, roaches, and vermin. Once you allow your house to get nasty, it will take a lot of outside help (and a pretty penny) to get it back to being decent. As a SAHD, it isn't too much to keep up with the chores. If it is, then hire a housekeeper and nanny, and go back to work. But don't expect your family to tolerate living in a frat house. You're too old for that.
Funhog 3 months ago
Throughout the entire post, OP was just complaining about his shared responsibilities of daily living, regardless of being a SAHD. The clincher was his choice of words in his edit -- that he realizes that he needs to "help" more around the house. His mindset is clearly that the cleaning responsibilities are his Wife's and that he "helps" her out whenever [if ever] he cleans, even if he's cleaning up after himself.
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sturmwesen 3 months ago (edited)
Bath and sheets weekly is how we do it and I am a slob. Even I think letting dishes in the sink for 3 days is gross. They should at least be cleaned the next day. He sounds like a frat boy.
Comment Deleted 3 months ago
This is why I think it is a fake story. This sounds like a frat boy complaining that his Mom is on his back about cleaning his room.
Load More Replies...
Little Wonder 3 months ago
"She thinks the bathroom needs to be cleaned weekly". My dude. Yes.
Nikole 3 months ago
This article made me tug at my shirt collar in an, “Oh no… Are these people correct?” kind of way. Note to self: try harder.
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 3 months ago (edited)
This guy is living like he's single. You can't do that when you have a family. Leaving dishes in the sink for a couple of days is setting the table and ringing the dinner bell for ants, roaches, and vermin. Once you allow your house to get nasty, it will take a lot of outside help (and a pretty penny) to get it back to being decent. As a SAHD, it isn't too much to keep up with the chores. If it is, then hire a housekeeper and nanny, and go back to work. But don't expect your family to tolerate living in a frat house. You're too old for that.
Funhog 3 months ago
Throughout the entire post, OP was just complaining about his shared responsibilities of daily living, regardless of being a SAHD. The clincher was his choice of words in his edit -- that he realizes that he needs to "help" more around the house. His mindset is clearly that the cleaning responsibilities are his Wife's and that he "helps" her out whenever [if ever] he cleans, even if he's cleaning up after himself.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 3 months ago (edited)
Bath and sheets weekly is how we do it and I am a slob. Even I think letting dishes in the sink for 3 days is gross. They should at least be cleaned the next day. He sounds like a frat boy.
Comment Deleted 3 months ago
This is why I think it is a fake story. This sounds like a frat boy complaining that his Mom is on his back about cleaning his room.
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