Couple Searches For Server After Long Wait, Refuses To Tip On $200 Bill Because Of What They Found
It seems that everyone has an opinion about tipping culture, but no one can agree on the rules. What is good service? How big of a percentage does it deserve? These questions are hard to answer definitively, especially when people’s livelihoods are at stake.
However, Reddit user RoseKaKe believes he and his wife have just had an experience so bad that it wasn’t worth anything. The couple were repeatedly ignored by the staff and their night didn’t really start for nearly half an hour. So after the bill arrived, they got up without leaving a single penny.
Now, the man wants to know if it was the right move, so he’s asking the members of r/AITAH to share their opinions on the situation.
This man and his wife received service they believe deserved a 0% tip
Image credits: msvyatkovska / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
So he told their story online and asked if others agreed
Image credits: RoseKaKe
Most view tipping as a form of performance review
Image credits: zinkevych / freepik (not the actual photo)
In many places, tipping expectations have changed over the past few years. For example, according to a 2023 Pew Research survey of nearly 12,000 adult Americans, about 72 percent say they are being asked to tip service workers more frequently than in the past, and only about a third say it’s “extremely or very easy” to know when and how much to tip.
Shubhranshu Singh, a marketing professor at Johns Hopkins University, thinks there have been two major reasons for this.
One is the pandemic. We started tipping people we didn’t use to and more than usual as a way to support workers at a time of crisis. The second is the technology around how we pay. For instance, companies behind electronic payment screens, such as Square, usually get a cut of each transaction, so creating software that encourages tipping (and in bigger amounts) means more money for the business.
A recent Bankrate survey found that 59 percent of Americans view tipping negatively. This includes:
- 37 percent who believe businesses should pay their employees better, rather than relying so much on tips;
- 34 percent who are annoyed about the pre-entered tip screens they encounter at coffee shops, food trucks and elsewhere;
- 14 percent who would be willing to pay higher prices in order to do away with tipping; and
- 11 percent who are confused about who and how much to tip.
The survey also discovered that a majority of people (64 percent) say the amount they tip is most influenced by the quality of service.
This makes sense. If the employer is placing the burden of paying their staff onto the customer, then the customer must also receive the right to set the rate.
In that sense, tipping becomes like a form of performance review—an immediate feedback system where the quality of the interaction directly impacts the reward, rather than an obligation to make up for the employer’s greed.
No wonder we say “the customer is always right.”
People have had a lot of reactions to the story, and most of them said the couple did nothing wrong
But some disagreed with their decision to leave without tipping
Some also shared other similar cases
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Those YTA... she should have tipped after having to find her server TWICE? who was dicking around on her phone instead of doing her job? GTFO. Although I would have walked out once I saw her on her phone the second time and made a point of telling her why.
Yeah they pissed me off. I don't have to have worked as a server to know you only get tipped if you go above and beyond. Entitled c***s.
Load More Replies...Utterly NTA. And the YTA's are brainwashed idiots that think people should be paid for literally not doing their job. Tipping culture needs to be stopped right now!
A tip is NOT an entitlement. It is EXTRA. I refuse to tip more than 10% EVER. I didn't force you to take this job, and I am paying a pretty penny to eat - I am not responsible for your income, that is between you and your boss. I also don't tip at Home Depot, Walmart, or McDonalds, or any drive-thru or counter service. Stop acting like you are entitled to 20% of the total. You don't like being dependent on tips, find another job.
Are americans so brainwashed by their corporations that still believe stuff like “They pay their bills with that money so you have to tip them anyways” or “you don’t dock IKEA worker’s salary if he makes a mistake” This arguments are so stupid. I pay my bills with my job. If i don’t do my job, i grt fired. Nobody is gonna not fire me because “i pay my bills with that money”. You are not entitled to other people’s money. Tips are not an obligation from the others cause you need it. And also, you cannot dock IkEA worker salary cause you don’t pay it, you don’t tip him either
Americans are dumb and haven't figured out that we can repair the system by simply not using it. If nobody tips, the waiters and waitresses will become their own salary advocates seemingly overnight. They will rant and rave about any employer leaving it up the cheap customers to pay their workforce.
Load More Replies...Not tipping on a 200 dollar bill is a better screw you than just walking out. BUT, in this day and age the server will probably make a snot cry video about your ill treatment of her and how she was like sooooo disrespected for not doing anything wrong.
Just reply with the real story. Especially if I see the server sitting looking at their phone, I make a picture of it. Then post the pictures in said reply
Load More Replies...Waiters are human, so it's not impossible for them to sometimes forgot something, especially when busy. However, If you have time to use your phone, the situation could not have been really busy. Also, it seems that they didn't even get an apology, either from the server or the manager, and that's what sets me off. A healtfelt apology accompanied with free desserts or something would have made that mistake feel much less damning.
If you pay by card, and have to add the TIP on the slip, just write "Pay attention to your guests, instead of to your phone!", instead of $ 0
Load More Replies..."If you ever worked in the service industry..." B***h please, I have. S****y service gets no tips. I tended bar in college and made bank, because I was hoofing it.
If the service is so bad you're going to tip 0% you should have just left.
TIP: To Insure Promptness. No Promptness? No money. Simple as that. And post an accurate review on all major platforms, including the server's name. Pink slip coming
NTA, but it is imperative that as a customer you complain to the General Manager about the abysmal service you received. This way the server can be disciplined in some shape or form, otherwise, the server may very just size you up as a cheapskate while the manager doesn't know anything about your bad experience.
Tipping by default is so off to me. As a default at worst it is such a "condescending" action in my mind... as in : "There you go peasant take my scraps" kind of vibe to it. There needs to be some rework of tip culture. The employer needs to make sure they pay their ppl. Not create this f****d power dynamic where a worker has to depend on random ppl who have nothing to do with them or their worl to survive the month.
The MW is insufficient for anyone to survive on no matter what kind of work they're doing. Servers DO NOT earn less than minimum wage. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/15-tipped-employees-flsa Raise the damned minimum for everyone!
Load More Replies...This can only be the US. Everywhere else pays their servers a living(ish) wage, so not tipping would be a bit of a slap, but nothing remarkable.
Servers earn minimum wage in the US. They can potentially earn (much) more through tips but cannot (legally) earn less. The MW in most states is shamefully below a living wage no matter what the work is. ALL MW earners should be able to support themselves with dignity, that's what we need to focus on fixing.
Load More Replies...I had a "service" charge added to my bill automatically. The service was terrible and the food sub standard. I told the manager to remove the "service" charge as I wasn't happy with the service. Reluctantly he removed it. How many people have this automatically added to their bill and pay the bill without checking?
Who is saying YTA in this situation?!! Like seriously. Are you dumb? Yes they need tips but if they need them maybe they should actually do their jobs!!!!
That's extremely frustrating. Especially shunning Queer folks. I would have done the same thing if went to a restaurant and my waitress ignored me the whole. I'd left the place without tipping. I do not blame anyone for feeling the same way. I'd also called the manager and told them about the situation.
The yta people ARE the A**holes!! NO tip for BAD service! Not up to me to pay your wages! Do your job right!
I seen a few of these where the waitress/waiter were on their phones. Maybe these restaurants need to ban there servers having phones on them while they are working.
Tipping is meant for good service. This is not good service. I would not have tipped and also talked to management. If they did this randomly to one customer makes me wonder how many others they did this too. Tip or no tip at the end of the day if it weren't for the customers they wouldn't have a job. I'm not saying that there aren't horrible customers . I don't agree with the term " the customer is always right". But at the end to the day its the customer that the restraunt depends on customers to keep them in business. At the same time you dont want to p**s of the staff so they don't spit in your food. So courtesy and respect is a two way street. People need to keep in mind that tipping is extra money its not meant to be apart of your income.
Tipping is meant to save business owners money on wages. The onus of paying worker wages falls to the customer. People should stop tipping altogether.
Load More Replies...If the food itself was good, ask to see the chef so you can provide your compliments in person to them. Give the chef the tip in cash that you wish to provide for them alone. Make sure the server us aware that no tip will be provided to them as their service was not up to standard and let them know that a call will also be made to management to discuss the matter as they were not providing the service that management is paying them to undertake.
I talk to the manager, and if they refuse to help (only had that happen once), then I leave. Last spring I was with a group at a restaurant that assigns tables to servers as they arrive. It was busy, and I knew some of the staff because I went there often. After 15 minutes, I approached the manager, she apologized because they forgot to assign us a server, and we (table of 6) got two free appetizer. In another situation, halfway through our meal our server told us that they were going on break and another server was taken over. The new server never showed and we needed things like water and soda refills (also could not order dessert). I approached the manager, got an apology, got 50% off of our meals, and was able to designate the the tip went to the first server.
I've worked in the service industry and tipping culture has gotten way out of hand. I'm done with it I refuse to tip unless the service is excellent.
People are saying contact the management. Where is the management? The wait staff is supervised by the manager. Is he, she or it in the back doing nothing too? Pay with an Amex and then have the card rescind the payment because you didn't get what you paid for.
Your point about the manager is 100% correct. Your recommendation to commit fraud through Amex is 100% criminal. The bill was for the food that was received and consumed. It has nothing to do with the server.
Load More Replies...Those YTA... she should have tipped after having to find her server TWICE? who was dicking around on her phone instead of doing her job? GTFO. Although I would have walked out once I saw her on her phone the second time and made a point of telling her why.
Yeah they pissed me off. I don't have to have worked as a server to know you only get tipped if you go above and beyond. Entitled c***s.
Load More Replies...Utterly NTA. And the YTA's are brainwashed idiots that think people should be paid for literally not doing their job. Tipping culture needs to be stopped right now!
A tip is NOT an entitlement. It is EXTRA. I refuse to tip more than 10% EVER. I didn't force you to take this job, and I am paying a pretty penny to eat - I am not responsible for your income, that is between you and your boss. I also don't tip at Home Depot, Walmart, or McDonalds, or any drive-thru or counter service. Stop acting like you are entitled to 20% of the total. You don't like being dependent on tips, find another job.
Are americans so brainwashed by their corporations that still believe stuff like “They pay their bills with that money so you have to tip them anyways” or “you don’t dock IKEA worker’s salary if he makes a mistake” This arguments are so stupid. I pay my bills with my job. If i don’t do my job, i grt fired. Nobody is gonna not fire me because “i pay my bills with that money”. You are not entitled to other people’s money. Tips are not an obligation from the others cause you need it. And also, you cannot dock IkEA worker salary cause you don’t pay it, you don’t tip him either
Americans are dumb and haven't figured out that we can repair the system by simply not using it. If nobody tips, the waiters and waitresses will become their own salary advocates seemingly overnight. They will rant and rave about any employer leaving it up the cheap customers to pay their workforce.
Load More Replies...Not tipping on a 200 dollar bill is a better screw you than just walking out. BUT, in this day and age the server will probably make a snot cry video about your ill treatment of her and how she was like sooooo disrespected for not doing anything wrong.
Just reply with the real story. Especially if I see the server sitting looking at their phone, I make a picture of it. Then post the pictures in said reply
Load More Replies...Waiters are human, so it's not impossible for them to sometimes forgot something, especially when busy. However, If you have time to use your phone, the situation could not have been really busy. Also, it seems that they didn't even get an apology, either from the server or the manager, and that's what sets me off. A healtfelt apology accompanied with free desserts or something would have made that mistake feel much less damning.
If you pay by card, and have to add the TIP on the slip, just write "Pay attention to your guests, instead of to your phone!", instead of $ 0
Load More Replies..."If you ever worked in the service industry..." B***h please, I have. S****y service gets no tips. I tended bar in college and made bank, because I was hoofing it.
If the service is so bad you're going to tip 0% you should have just left.
TIP: To Insure Promptness. No Promptness? No money. Simple as that. And post an accurate review on all major platforms, including the server's name. Pink slip coming
NTA, but it is imperative that as a customer you complain to the General Manager about the abysmal service you received. This way the server can be disciplined in some shape or form, otherwise, the server may very just size you up as a cheapskate while the manager doesn't know anything about your bad experience.
Tipping by default is so off to me. As a default at worst it is such a "condescending" action in my mind... as in : "There you go peasant take my scraps" kind of vibe to it. There needs to be some rework of tip culture. The employer needs to make sure they pay their ppl. Not create this f****d power dynamic where a worker has to depend on random ppl who have nothing to do with them or their worl to survive the month.
The MW is insufficient for anyone to survive on no matter what kind of work they're doing. Servers DO NOT earn less than minimum wage. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/15-tipped-employees-flsa Raise the damned minimum for everyone!
Load More Replies...This can only be the US. Everywhere else pays their servers a living(ish) wage, so not tipping would be a bit of a slap, but nothing remarkable.
Servers earn minimum wage in the US. They can potentially earn (much) more through tips but cannot (legally) earn less. The MW in most states is shamefully below a living wage no matter what the work is. ALL MW earners should be able to support themselves with dignity, that's what we need to focus on fixing.
Load More Replies...I had a "service" charge added to my bill automatically. The service was terrible and the food sub standard. I told the manager to remove the "service" charge as I wasn't happy with the service. Reluctantly he removed it. How many people have this automatically added to their bill and pay the bill without checking?
Who is saying YTA in this situation?!! Like seriously. Are you dumb? Yes they need tips but if they need them maybe they should actually do their jobs!!!!
That's extremely frustrating. Especially shunning Queer folks. I would have done the same thing if went to a restaurant and my waitress ignored me the whole. I'd left the place without tipping. I do not blame anyone for feeling the same way. I'd also called the manager and told them about the situation.
The yta people ARE the A**holes!! NO tip for BAD service! Not up to me to pay your wages! Do your job right!
I seen a few of these where the waitress/waiter were on their phones. Maybe these restaurants need to ban there servers having phones on them while they are working.
Tipping is meant for good service. This is not good service. I would not have tipped and also talked to management. If they did this randomly to one customer makes me wonder how many others they did this too. Tip or no tip at the end of the day if it weren't for the customers they wouldn't have a job. I'm not saying that there aren't horrible customers . I don't agree with the term " the customer is always right". But at the end to the day its the customer that the restraunt depends on customers to keep them in business. At the same time you dont want to p**s of the staff so they don't spit in your food. So courtesy and respect is a two way street. People need to keep in mind that tipping is extra money its not meant to be apart of your income.
Tipping is meant to save business owners money on wages. The onus of paying worker wages falls to the customer. People should stop tipping altogether.
Load More Replies...If the food itself was good, ask to see the chef so you can provide your compliments in person to them. Give the chef the tip in cash that you wish to provide for them alone. Make sure the server us aware that no tip will be provided to them as their service was not up to standard and let them know that a call will also be made to management to discuss the matter as they were not providing the service that management is paying them to undertake.
I talk to the manager, and if they refuse to help (only had that happen once), then I leave. Last spring I was with a group at a restaurant that assigns tables to servers as they arrive. It was busy, and I knew some of the staff because I went there often. After 15 minutes, I approached the manager, she apologized because they forgot to assign us a server, and we (table of 6) got two free appetizer. In another situation, halfway through our meal our server told us that they were going on break and another server was taken over. The new server never showed and we needed things like water and soda refills (also could not order dessert). I approached the manager, got an apology, got 50% off of our meals, and was able to designate the the tip went to the first server.
I've worked in the service industry and tipping culture has gotten way out of hand. I'm done with it I refuse to tip unless the service is excellent.
People are saying contact the management. Where is the management? The wait staff is supervised by the manager. Is he, she or it in the back doing nothing too? Pay with an Amex and then have the card rescind the payment because you didn't get what you paid for.
Your point about the manager is 100% correct. Your recommendation to commit fraud through Amex is 100% criminal. The bill was for the food that was received and consumed. It has nothing to do with the server.
Load More Replies...
41
57