In a perfect world, we would never have to worry about encountering anyone dangerous. But sadly, that’s just not the reality we live in. And if it makes you feel safer to know a bit of self-defense or to carry around pepper spray in your purse, more power to you!

Most of us who take these precautions do so for the peace of mind, without ever actually intending to use our weapons or skills. But one woman recently decided to defend herself against her mother’s boyfriend after he entered her room unannounced. Below, you’ll find the full story that she posted on Reddit, as well as a conversation with Dr. Maryann Amirshahi, Medical Director at the National Capital Poison Center. 

This woman was less than thrilled when her mom invited her boyfriend to move in with them

Image credits: Miguel_SR (not the actual photo)

So when he barged in on her changing, she didn’t hesitate to retaliate

Image credits: Image-Source (not the actual photo)

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

Image source: AcanthisittaNew7036

It’s important for teens to be given space and privacy

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Seeing your parents enter into new relationships can often be difficult. Even as an adult, you may still feel like a child to your mother or father, and it can be challenging trying to squeeze a new person into your relationship. They might not have as much time for you, and they might start prioritizing their partner over you. Plus, if you don’t like the person your parent is dating, it’s easy to become bitter and frustrated.

In this particular story, it sounds like the mother’s boyfriend did not respect the boundaries set by his partner’s daughters. It can be strange enough to have an adult man move into your home when you’re only a teen, but having him barge in on your bedroom can quickly feel like your privacy has been violated. Privacy is incredibly important to teenagers, and it is something they should all be entitled to, Verywell Family notes.     

While it can raise red flags if your teens are too secretive, allowing them space and privacy is a great way for parents to build trust with their kids. As they are going through puberty and developing, teens should have the freedom to explore and develop their own interests, have the choice to keep their bodies private from their family members and be allowed to build confidence without having their parents constantly looking over their shoulders.

“The active ingredient in pepper spray is capsaicin, which is contained in many of the peppers that we eat, such as jalapeños”

Image credits: Andrew Magill (not the actual photo)

On the other hand, when teens aren’t allowed space and privacy, it can lead to frustration and bitterness. It can also encourage kids to lash out or intentionally start keeping secrets from their parents. And, of course, it can escalate to situations such as this one. To learn more about pepper spray, we reached out to Dr. Maryann Amirshahi, Medical Director at the National Capital Poison Center. Dr. Amirshahi was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain what exactly pepper spray is.

“Pepper spray is what we call a lacrimator, or something that increases tear production. Lacrimators have been used for over a century. The intent of using a lacrimator is to temporarily disable someone without causing significant harm,” Dr. Amirshahi explained. “They have been used in combat, for crowd control, and on a smaller scale for personal protection. Pepper spray is just one type of lacrimator.”

“The active ingredient in pepper spray is capsaicin, which is contained in many of the peppers that we eat, such as jalapeños,” the expert continued. “Capsaicin is also found in arthritis creams and was what was in the chip that was part of the popular ‘One Chip Challenge.’ The most common effects that occur in patients exposed to pepper spray is irritation of the eyes and mucous membranes (the mouth and nose). You can also get skin irritation.”

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“One of the best ways to describe how it may make you feel is if you have ever cut a hot pepper and touched your face before you washed your hands,” Dr. Amirshahi says. “Some people might experience trouble breathing, particularly if they have asthma or other lung problems. Rarely, people have more severe reactions to pepper spray, particularly if they are exposed to a large amount, but this is much less common.”

“Pepper spray is only meant to be used to help you get out of a scenario where your safety is truly at risk”

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

We also asked Dr. Amirshahi how she feels about individuals having pepper spray on them, and she shared that she actually carries some around herself. “I have worked in the emergency department for many years, and I find myself walking to the parking lot alone at 2 in the morning regularly,” she explained. “Pepper spray is only meant to be used to help you get out of a scenario where your safety is truly at risk. If you are going to carry pepper spray, it is important to know how to use it, so that you do not harm yourself or someone else unintentionally.”

The expert also noted that pepper spray is relatively safe as far as chemicals go, as the ingredient is in some of the foods we eat. “In fact, other chemicals that were used as lacrimators in the past were more toxic, and pepper spray actually replaced them as a safer alternative,” Dr. Amirshahi added. “If you want something that does not contain chemicals at all, there are products out there that flash and make loud noises that are available for personal safety.”

But as with anything else, it’s important to use pepper spray wisely. “Be sure to keep it out of the reach of children, as they can accidentally spray it on themselves or someone else,” Dr. Amirshahi says. “If you do end up having to spray it, wash your hands after you get to safety. If you get sprayed accidentally, you should wash yourself off. If you get pepper spray in your eyes, run them under water for 10-15 minutes. Be sure to remove and discard your contacts if you wear them. Remove any contaminated clothing and jewelry and wash them. Get to a well ventilated space. Expert help is always available from poison control by phone or online.”

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We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article, you can find one discussing safety tips right here!

Some readers assured the woman that her self-defense was justified

Others, however, called her out for overreacting

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