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10
Girlfriend Turns To Food Banks While Boyfriend Making $115K Sticks To Even Bill Splits
When it comes to relationships, some couples swear by splitting everything 50/50, while others may choose to go by income proportions or even pooled resources.
But what happens when one partner feels financially crushed while the other seems to thrive? One Original Poster’s (OP) story has stirred the internet when her partner of 10 years declared that their expenses should be always split equally despite making twice as much as she does, and it might make you rethink what fairness really means in a relationship.
More info: Reddit
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It’s super easy for lovebirds to swoon over cute gifts and candlelit dinners, but when money gets into the mix, things can get complicated
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s boyfriend earns a higher income and his insistence on splitting bills evenly leaves her financially strained and reliant on food banks
Image credits: chillerific
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her boyfriend’s higher spending habits and refusal to adjust the bills based on income differences stem from his belief that he works harder
Image credits: chillerific
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Despite a decade together, his resistance to marriage amid her financial stress makes her feel inadequate in the relationship
Image credits: chillerific
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author states that the situation has nothing to do with feminism, but rather that pooling resources would better reflect a loving relationship
Image credits: chillerific
Despite their love story spanning over a decade, her boyfriend’s unwillingness to compromise financially has left her feeling like a roommate rather than a partner
In a candid account, the OP shared how financial disparity and differing lifestyle priorities have put a strain on her 10-year relationship. She earns $47,000 a year, while her boyfriend rakes in $115,000. But the bills? Those are split right down the middle—well, almost.
He gives her a $37 weekly discount in exchange for an extra hour of housecleaning on her part. Beyond that, she’s left struggling to make ends meet in a high-cost city like Seattle, where even basic survival is tough on her salary.
Her boyfriend insists on living in Seattle for its proximity to his well-paying tech job, family, and friends, while she has no local support system. To manage her $1,600 rent (after the small cleaning discount), she’s resorted to food banks to stay afloat.
In a hypothetical scenario where he made $300,000 a year, he said he’d still expect her to pay half. His justification? He claims his higher income is the result of harder work and more stress, and he’d rather retire early than help balance their shared costs.
Adding salt to the wound, he recently forced them to break a lease early on an apartment he disliked. She couldn’t afford the costs of moving, but he insisted—and expected her to pay an equal share of the hefty penalties.
This dynamic, coupled with her unfulfilled desire to get married, has left her questioning whether he values her as a partner or simply as someone to share living expenses with. However, beyond dollars and cents, the woman’s deeper frustration lies in how she’s being treated.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to Forbes, money is a common source of conflict in relationships, often eroding trust and intimacy. While couples may agree on fundamental values, financial disagreements can arise because people’s beliefs about money are deeply personal.
These beliefs are shaped by family, personal experiences, and societal influences. In the case of the OP, the differing financial views between her and her boyfriend could be contributing to the strain in their relationship, as their values around money clash.
However, Online Theories emphasizes the importance of fairness in relationships regardless of beliefs. They state that relationships thrive when there is a balance of give and take, and fairness is essential for long-term satisfaction.
Following the equity theory, they explain that when individuals perceive inequality in a relationship, it can lead to negative emotions like resentment or dissatisfaction.
The unequal distribution of financial responsibilities, despite the OP’s lower income, may impact her emotional well-being, especially since fairness in household chores, decision-making, and opportunities for personal growth also play a crucial role in maintaining relationship harmony.
Netizens were appalled by the boyfriend’s selfish behavior, highlighting how his financial control is causing significant strain on her.
Others urged the OP to reassess her relationship, suggesting that her boyfriend’s actions indicate a lack of respect and care for her. “This man does NOT like you,” one user bluntly pointed out, while another described the situation as “crimson red flags.”
The OP mentioned in an edit that if she were in his position, she would pool their money despite the income disparity because that’s what a loving relationship looks like. What do you think—should financial fairness be a priority in relationships? Please let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Netizens rallied around the author to express their concern, but they told her point-blank that leaving the relationship is the best next thing
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What do you think ?
Mrs.C 2 weeks ago
Run, sis. And don't look back. That man does not love, respect, or even like you.
Ace 2 weeks ago
The comments above, and now here, about how to split things are to my mind completely insane. You're either in a partnership or you're not. This person is not. In principle it goes like this: you both bring in some money, rent and bills are paid, food is bought, excursions, social activities are then based on what the couple can afford out of what's left, not what one person can or cannot. When I first met my wife I already had a house (and a mortgage) and was earning about three times what she was. Later, and for most of the last 25 years, she was earning more than me. Never, not once in all of that time, did either of us ever conceive of buying or doing something personal based on who was bringing more money in. I'm raw right now, she died suddenly just yesterday, but I'm pleased to be able to say what I just did.
Load More Replies...
A girl 2 weeks ago
Early in my marriage I made a lot more than my husband. He insisted we split 50/50. My proposed solution was to live within his means, not mine. Which worked well because I could afford to fund my retirement meaningfully. If the BF really cared for her and still demanded 50/50, they should live within her means. As noted by many, guy is a walking red flag. Run like the wind.
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Man has got a roommate and a live in maid. Woman does not see this. This isn't a relationship. You'll be broke with no savings, he'll retire early and dump you. Get out now.
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 3 days ago
And if he dies, she can't even claim his retirement.
Load More Replies...
Michael MacKinnon 2 weeks ago
It's the dependency and who gets to make decisions. If he insists in living in a style she can't afford, that tells you what he cares about, and it isn't her.
Nils Skirnir 2 weeks ago
Not a partnership. You’re a sex toy and cleaner who pays half the bills
Fellfromthemoon 2 weeks ago
OP is subsidizing BF. BF pays waaaaay less for the apartement, gets a maid service and a bed warmer. In exchange he doesn't need to give up anything, including his wants and comfort.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
That's about the size of it. Summed up mathematically precise.
Load More Replies... 
TruthoftheHeart 2 weeks ago
I wouldn't put up with that attitude for a year let alone 10 years!
Vinnie 2 weeks ago
She's basically a room-mate with sexual benefits. Maybe she should charge for it.
Load More Replies... Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago
PLEASE LEAVE HIM! He doesn't even like you! I'm so angry at reading this that the vain in my head head is going to pop!
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
They Rent roommates. Even if you ignore all the other red flag c**p, the norm is to split bills according to how much you make, if someone makes double the other person, they pay 2/3 etc.
Id row 2 weeks ago
Either they live somewhere where she can afford the rent or he makes up the difference. He's an a$$hole for making her pay half for him wanting to break their lease because he didn't like the apartment, but he's not wrong for wanting to split bills. He does not owe her free living accommodations because he chose a career that makes more. These two simply aren't compatible, they want different fundamental things in the relationship. It's not sustainable as is.
Kate Johnson 2 weeks ago
If this was me, I'd make plans and leave without giving him a heads up, and one day he'd come home and find a note from me saying, "you're just not worth what you cost". Since he has so much money he shouldn't have a problem paying the rent by himself.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
She has to use foodbanks because otherwise she cannot afford the rent in the expensive place HE wants to live? How could she even agree to that? She's a massive AH - to herself. Folks, please! Yes, having a partner is nice, but you really don't have to degrade yourself like this to have one.
Je souhaite 2 weeks ago
she probably ASSumed he was dumb enough to just pay for her shortcomings
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 2 weeks ago
This relationship is 100% transactional. The OP should start charging for sex. If the BF protests, she can tell him she will engage in such activity for $300 per session. Wash his plate? It's $3.50. Make a pot of coffee? $12.30. OP needs to find a way to move out of this uneven, disturbing, and unloving relationship. It makes me sad.
The Starsong Princess 2 weeks ago
It’s ok to split expenses, especially at the beginning of a relationship. However, you need to live like a couple making a combined $94,000 per year for it to work (as if you each making $47,000) He wants to live like a couple with a combined $200,000. You can’t afford but he doesn’t care. He’s incredibly selfish and he will never marry you because then he would have to share his money. Stop paying rent and save your money to move out.
Panda Panda Bo Banda 2 weeks ago
I have no doubt this is just the tip of the iceberg. He sounds like the kind of guy that expects to always get what he wants.
Adam Belaire 2 weeks ago
For 115K and 47K, combined is 162K so buddy-boy should be contributing 70% of the bills as he makes more, not 50%
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 3 days ago
Now he can afford the apartment on his own. Go to a women's shelter. No more, say it louder in the back. NO MORE. Please don't waste your life for this narcissist. What would you tell anyone who told you this?
Midnightoil 2 weeks ago
Run fast!! Run far!! You deserve better. You need to learn to value yourself!!
KirklandMelissa Anderson 2 weeks ago
Bf is cold hearted and extremely selfish. He has absolutely no consideration or love for OP.
KirklandMelissa Anderson 2 weeks ago
Sounds like a business relationship that a personal one and he’s definitely taking advantage of her. I hope she dumped him.
Michelle Hardy 2 weeks ago
Dump him now. He has no interest in you as a wife ever going off what you say about the way he treats you. You deserve better.
Suzie 2 weeks ago
There are only two viable options. Either split the bills proportionally based on the difference in income or split them 50/50 with the understanding that you have to live within the lowest earners budget. Since this guy doesn't want to compromise on how they split rent or live within OP's budget then OP should tell this guy to bugger off.
Casey Payne 2 weeks ago
"Do you think financial contributions in a relationship should be split 50/50 regardless of income disparity?" Only if one of them was a doormat with a head injury. The most insulting thing in that article was the $37 weekly discount for housework. Not $35. Not $40. Specifically $37. What year is it? $37 is inadequate even for children's allowance money. The only disparity is that messed up relationship she thinks she's in. If she replaced herself with a sex doll for a week, the only that would change is that he would complain that she wasn't doing her chores. She should be packing as he casually explains to her why she doesn't get that $37 this week because he had to wash a glass.
audri 2 weeks ago
Maybe I'm just OLD but my spouse and I have no separate monies. When we decided to marry, it was based on trust. If you can't trust the person, why are you getting so involved with them?
Je souhaite 2 weeks ago
it's called sex that's why people get involved and they are not even married
Load More Replies... 
Lew k 2 weeks ago
When me an my wife first got together neither of us made much but by being a partnership and sharing resources we were able to afford a house and car. We've played leap frog with our earnings for 15 years supporting each other in situations where the other needed help to make a move that would benefit us both. The result is we make a bit over 3x what we did when we married. Neither of our incomes is shocking but together they equal a fairly comfortable life. Find someone that can be your partner and friend in addition to your spouse and you'll end up happier.
Sophie de Ronde 2 weeks ago
He is a user and will keep you from becoming a better version of you, just to keep his money to himself whilst lording it over you. Get out.
SirWriteALot 2 weeks ago
Well ... two things : when one person (in a LTR) makes significantly more money than the other you usually don't split bills exactly 50/50. Usually you work out a percentage system or sorts. That said, OPs idea of "pooling the money" is also not the right way to go; everybody is entitled to "fun money". Also wanting to retire early is not something that should be held against the guy. But I agree with most people here: too many red flags, this guy is not a good partner.
Crystal M 2 weeks ago
I make the higher wage and payed bills accordingly early in the marriage. He became used to living a certain way but was unwilling to help fund it and I was feeling taken advantage of. Though I made double, I was having to cut my personal expenses, start working overtime (for the first time in 15 years), etc. because of his spending. I can see both sides. I will never split finances again.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
This is exactly the opposite of what's happening here. In your case, your partner was UNWILLING TO CONTRIBUTE anything; not even what he could afford. Again, taking advantage of you. In her case, her partner is TAKING ALL THAT SHE HAS TO FUND HIS LIFESTYLE, while leaving her with nothing. It is a lifestyle based on his income; her contributions should be proportional to what she can afford.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 2 weeks ago
From reddit: "He is very principled. That's what initially attracted me to him. He's all about equality in a relationship." Treating everyone the same is not the same as being fair.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
He is not "principled" at all. FAIR in context means exactly that: FAIR. So he's a hypocrite. Because he's being anything but fair. If fire is necessary for everyone and in winter I charged $1 for fire; and someone with only $2 for their entire winter came to me and they had to pay the $1 while someone else has $100 for the entire winter and pays the same; someone is going to be dead at the end of winter. Am I being "fair"? Fair doesn't mean both get fire at the price that only one can afford! Fair is if both had $100 to spend and they pay the same. Fair is also if I, in the case where only one can afford fire, make it so that both can have fire.
Load More Replies...
Roberta Surprenant 2 weeks ago
Did she ever say that she loved him and wanted to be with him? Not that I noticed!
Disgruntled Pelican 2 weeks ago
How do you know "she was never motivated to make more money or go into a higher paying career"? Do you know her personally? If not, that's quite the statement. I also don't think it's a "financial sacrifice" to make sure your partner of 10 years is fed instead of going to the food bank, but that's just me.
Load More Replies... Mrs.C 2 weeks ago
Run, sis. And don't look back. That man does not love, respect, or even like you.
Ace 2 weeks ago
The comments above, and now here, about how to split things are to my mind completely insane. You're either in a partnership or you're not. This person is not. In principle it goes like this: you both bring in some money, rent and bills are paid, food is bought, excursions, social activities are then based on what the couple can afford out of what's left, not what one person can or cannot. When I first met my wife I already had a house (and a mortgage) and was earning about three times what she was. Later, and for most of the last 25 years, she was earning more than me. Never, not once in all of that time, did either of us ever conceive of buying or doing something personal based on who was bringing more money in. I'm raw right now, she died suddenly just yesterday, but I'm pleased to be able to say what I just did.
Load More Replies... A girl 2 weeks ago
Early in my marriage I made a lot more than my husband. He insisted we split 50/50. My proposed solution was to live within his means, not mine. Which worked well because I could afford to fund my retirement meaningfully. If the BF really cared for her and still demanded 50/50, they should live within her means. As noted by many, guy is a walking red flag. Run like the wind.
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Man has got a roommate and a live in maid. Woman does not see this. This isn't a relationship. You'll be broke with no savings, he'll retire early and dump you. Get out now.
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 3 days ago
And if he dies, she can't even claim his retirement.
Load More Replies... Michael MacKinnon 2 weeks ago
It's the dependency and who gets to make decisions. If he insists in living in a style she can't afford, that tells you what he cares about, and it isn't her.
Nils Skirnir 2 weeks ago
Not a partnership. You’re a sex toy and cleaner who pays half the bills
Fellfromthemoon 2 weeks ago
OP is subsidizing BF. BF pays waaaaay less for the apartement, gets a maid service and a bed warmer. In exchange he doesn't need to give up anything, including his wants and comfort.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
That's about the size of it. Summed up mathematically precise.
Load More Replies... TruthoftheHeart 2 weeks ago
I wouldn't put up with that attitude for a year let alone 10 years!
Vinnie 2 weeks ago
She's basically a room-mate with sexual benefits. Maybe she should charge for it.
Load More Replies... Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago
PLEASE LEAVE HIM! He doesn't even like you! I'm so angry at reading this that the vain in my head head is going to pop!
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
They Rent roommates. Even if you ignore all the other red flag c**p, the norm is to split bills according to how much you make, if someone makes double the other person, they pay 2/3 etc.
Id row 2 weeks ago
Either they live somewhere where she can afford the rent or he makes up the difference. He's an a$$hole for making her pay half for him wanting to break their lease because he didn't like the apartment, but he's not wrong for wanting to split bills. He does not owe her free living accommodations because he chose a career that makes more. These two simply aren't compatible, they want different fundamental things in the relationship. It's not sustainable as is.
Kate Johnson 2 weeks ago
If this was me, I'd make plans and leave without giving him a heads up, and one day he'd come home and find a note from me saying, "you're just not worth what you cost". Since he has so much money he shouldn't have a problem paying the rent by himself.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
She has to use foodbanks because otherwise she cannot afford the rent in the expensive place HE wants to live? How could she even agree to that? She's a massive AH - to herself. Folks, please! Yes, having a partner is nice, but you really don't have to degrade yourself like this to have one.
Je souhaite 2 weeks ago
she probably ASSumed he was dumb enough to just pay for her shortcomings
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 2 weeks ago
This relationship is 100% transactional. The OP should start charging for sex. If the BF protests, she can tell him she will engage in such activity for $300 per session. Wash his plate? It's $3.50. Make a pot of coffee? $12.30. OP needs to find a way to move out of this uneven, disturbing, and unloving relationship. It makes me sad.
The Starsong Princess 2 weeks ago
It’s ok to split expenses, especially at the beginning of a relationship. However, you need to live like a couple making a combined $94,000 per year for it to work (as if you each making $47,000) He wants to live like a couple with a combined $200,000. You can’t afford but he doesn’t care. He’s incredibly selfish and he will never marry you because then he would have to share his money. Stop paying rent and save your money to move out.
Panda Panda Bo Banda 2 weeks ago
I have no doubt this is just the tip of the iceberg. He sounds like the kind of guy that expects to always get what he wants.
Adam Belaire 2 weeks ago
For 115K and 47K, combined is 162K so buddy-boy should be contributing 70% of the bills as he makes more, not 50%
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 3 days ago
Now he can afford the apartment on his own. Go to a women's shelter. No more, say it louder in the back. NO MORE. Please don't waste your life for this narcissist. What would you tell anyone who told you this?
Midnightoil 2 weeks ago
Run fast!! Run far!! You deserve better. You need to learn to value yourself!!
KirklandMelissa Anderson 2 weeks ago
Bf is cold hearted and extremely selfish. He has absolutely no consideration or love for OP.
KirklandMelissa Anderson 2 weeks ago
Sounds like a business relationship that a personal one and he’s definitely taking advantage of her. I hope she dumped him.
Michelle Hardy 2 weeks ago
Dump him now. He has no interest in you as a wife ever going off what you say about the way he treats you. You deserve better.
Suzie 2 weeks ago
There are only two viable options. Either split the bills proportionally based on the difference in income or split them 50/50 with the understanding that you have to live within the lowest earners budget. Since this guy doesn't want to compromise on how they split rent or live within OP's budget then OP should tell this guy to bugger off.
Casey Payne 2 weeks ago
"Do you think financial contributions in a relationship should be split 50/50 regardless of income disparity?" Only if one of them was a doormat with a head injury. The most insulting thing in that article was the $37 weekly discount for housework. Not $35. Not $40. Specifically $37. What year is it? $37 is inadequate even for children's allowance money. The only disparity is that messed up relationship she thinks she's in. If she replaced herself with a sex doll for a week, the only that would change is that he would complain that she wasn't doing her chores. She should be packing as he casually explains to her why she doesn't get that $37 this week because he had to wash a glass.
audri 2 weeks ago
Maybe I'm just OLD but my spouse and I have no separate monies. When we decided to marry, it was based on trust. If you can't trust the person, why are you getting so involved with them?
Je souhaite 2 weeks ago
it's called sex that's why people get involved and they are not even married
Load More Replies... Lew k 2 weeks ago
When me an my wife first got together neither of us made much but by being a partnership and sharing resources we were able to afford a house and car. We've played leap frog with our earnings for 15 years supporting each other in situations where the other needed help to make a move that would benefit us both. The result is we make a bit over 3x what we did when we married. Neither of our incomes is shocking but together they equal a fairly comfortable life. Find someone that can be your partner and friend in addition to your spouse and you'll end up happier.
Sophie de Ronde 2 weeks ago
He is a user and will keep you from becoming a better version of you, just to keep his money to himself whilst lording it over you. Get out.
SirWriteALot 2 weeks ago
Well ... two things : when one person (in a LTR) makes significantly more money than the other you usually don't split bills exactly 50/50. Usually you work out a percentage system or sorts. That said, OPs idea of "pooling the money" is also not the right way to go; everybody is entitled to "fun money". Also wanting to retire early is not something that should be held against the guy. But I agree with most people here: too many red flags, this guy is not a good partner.
Crystal M 2 weeks ago
I make the higher wage and payed bills accordingly early in the marriage. He became used to living a certain way but was unwilling to help fund it and I was feeling taken advantage of. Though I made double, I was having to cut my personal expenses, start working overtime (for the first time in 15 years), etc. because of his spending. I can see both sides. I will never split finances again.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
This is exactly the opposite of what's happening here. In your case, your partner was UNWILLING TO CONTRIBUTE anything; not even what he could afford. Again, taking advantage of you. In her case, her partner is TAKING ALL THAT SHE HAS TO FUND HIS LIFESTYLE, while leaving her with nothing. It is a lifestyle based on his income; her contributions should be proportional to what she can afford.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 2 weeks ago
From reddit: "He is very principled. That's what initially attracted me to him. He's all about equality in a relationship." Treating everyone the same is not the same as being fair.
SpiderWoman13 2 weeks ago
He is not "principled" at all. FAIR in context means exactly that: FAIR. So he's a hypocrite. Because he's being anything but fair. If fire is necessary for everyone and in winter I charged $1 for fire; and someone with only $2 for their entire winter came to me and they had to pay the $1 while someone else has $100 for the entire winter and pays the same; someone is going to be dead at the end of winter. Am I being "fair"? Fair doesn't mean both get fire at the price that only one can afford! Fair is if both had $100 to spend and they pay the same. Fair is also if I, in the case where only one can afford fire, make it so that both can have fire.
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 2 weeks ago
Did she ever say that she loved him and wanted to be with him? Not that I noticed!
Disgruntled Pelican 2 weeks ago
How do you know "she was never motivated to make more money or go into a higher paying career"? Do you know her personally? If not, that's quite the statement. I also don't think it's a "financial sacrifice" to make sure your partner of 10 years is fed instead of going to the food bank, but that's just me.
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