Thry saved it for her specifically. And within a year of her not using it for what they ment they spent all of it. $30k is a lot to blow in a year.

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Hope you don't have kids then. They'll need stuff and you don't want to part with YOUR money.

As much as you love your kids, you do nothing for them if you coddle them as adults. This is why you have grown adults still living with their parents into their 30s. She made her decision they told her what would happen I think it's a great lesson learned, most kids don't have parents that can save for their education. She can work almost anywhere nowadays and have a company pay her tuition

Amen to that.

Wrong

Needs and wants are different. She previously chose to drop out tells me this isn't a need.

Yep yep.

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I hope you stay childless, jerk. DO NOT hype a child's hopes making them think you're doing something nice for them just to yank the rug out from under them when the time comes. The kid could have used that time to save for tuition cost if known sooner this would happen. Use your head MAGA jerk

No, she chose to drop out and live with her boyfriend at the time. Yes, she had her head up her a**e but that is her bad. Once you leave your home with a significant other you made a financial decision. Parents are not suppose to support financially in that aspect. You have now entered the real world. She chose not to go to school. However, They shouldn’t have spent that much and set some aside for maybe her wedding or something but she made her choice. I am not going to fully support a child financially if she chooses to leave with a significant other. I am a mother of five and five are girls. They know that we want them to pursue their education, a career, and be financially ready before they leave home. Will always be there for them if they need help. But this girl messed up. Jackass move on her part and the parents blew too much but I don’t think they are the aholes.

There is no ENTITLEMENT to anything. Choices have consequences. She learned that

It not like they spent it on a vacation, a home is an investment and asset, An upgraded kitchen adds value. And the home they renovated, or money from selling it may very well end up going to her in the form of inheritance. So saying they blew it is BS.

Exactly! My parents were poor and didn't save for me. My grandparents (dad's side) took on the role of being the people to invest in me. But when it came to education I paid my own way! Grandpa bought my 1st new car at age 16. I was already living with them full time then, was emancipated through my parents divorce and I set my grandmother as my legal guardian (which you still need for all legal purposes) I did trade school, and college after that. My grandparents kept me in housing and vehicle needs. They mortgaged their home 3 times over the years (that I remember) to update and remodel rooms and the outside and let me help with what it would look like with grandma. Now that they are gone, I know all those choices wasn't just to spend time with them. It was because they had always planned to leave it to me as mine (as it is now). I'd take that every time over my education. Some things need to be earned so you don't have entitled, ungrateful children.

Only useful if home is sold in next few years. In which case they will have the kitchen money back then to give to her. But most likely then kitchen is for them, which will add no value to anything, except maybe a house refi they might be able to do to pull $30k out of house....

It doesn't actually work like that. Most home improvements are not a dollar per dollar added value but even right after you complete them. Nice finishes may net you a slightly higher than average price per square foot if you sell, and they'll help the property sell faster. Buyers have more confidence in an updated home. However all upgrades should be done primarily for your enjoyment because you don't get added value. Your homes with is decided by the comparable homes within proximity of the house if your neighbor has a home that around the same size and sold at $300,000 you're not going to get $330,000 just because you updated the kitchen.

That's the problem with entitlement. Only thinking about $$ now. My grandparents left their home to me. I literally have the original bill of sale. $7,000.00 that's it! Today, IF I sold, that same home goes for 120,000.00. You know why? For one because prices aren't the same today as they were in 1960 when they bought it. Secondly, because they kept updating it and remodeling over the years. The value is in the updates, making it modern. However I'd never sell. It's now a generational home with memories to every update because they involved me in each one. Grandpa was a home builder, my walkin closet was built with his hands. Everything in my home has a memory for myself and my children. Any updates I make, I involve them. But even if I didn't, it's still for them and their future when I'm no longer here to help them. The value will go up by the time I'm gone, because that's just how life and things work. If you do it right, that is.

It's the parents money, she dropped out of school, they don't have to tell her anything about what the do with their own money

Can I love this more???

That's 1 thing if they spent it because they needed it or want to do something for their selves. But they spent it being spiteful because she moved in with her boyfriend. He stated they said if she leaves the house and go live with him they are spending the money. So basically if she would have stayed home and dropped out they would have never touched the money. Better spiteful parents

I got this vibe, too. It was a spite thing because how dare her live with her boyfriend. In 10 years or so they will wonder why their daughter is NC.

I would have wanted until she was 25 at least and talked to her about it. There’s still a lot to learn about life at 19 and 20.

And yet people like me actually managed to put themselves through school, graduate and be working in a real job. Yes I did, at 19 i had a 4 year degree, paid for with student loans, no free money, no scholarships. At 18 she was an adult, being an adult has responsibility, she was old enough to know better.

25 is being grown. So stop treating your kids like babies. Myself and my siblings were expected to take our adulthood on at 18 and we were all better for it. Sure a college fund would have been nice, but I got my MGI Bill instead on my own. When I took my classes I never was flaky because it was at my expense. I had an adult focus on my adult life because it was my responsibility. Saving adults from their responsibility is not a good parenting move it you want to raise healthy adult individuals. They're not babies anymore.

At least until 23, when she could apply for her own financial aid, and plan to pay for her bachelor's if she manages community college. After all, that money was meant to be an investment in her future, but money alone isn't anything without guidance when one is so young.

She can apply for it at 18, when she was an adult, I did.

I believe no matter what the age a person is, they still don't know what they want and sometimes even confuses it with their needs. But, at the age of 18 shouldn't they know the consequences of their own actions? If they don't, why make 18 years old the legal age? Base on the comments I've read so far, I see one common thing. They sided with the daughter because just like the daughter they never own up their mistakes and just conveniently blame anyone. Probably, it feels good to point fingers.

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more all these people saying she's too young blah blah. Ok then let's just stop charging anyone under 25 for crimes. "Eh the kid was only 20 when he stabbed a guy 15 times, he's only 20 he didn't know any better he's still young"

These are the same people living at home as leeches way past 18 without jobs or acting like actual adults. They want to claim to be adults without actually acting like one.

Yeah, Im under the impression the people saying shes too young are the ones who are relating to her situation. They don’t want responsibility and are most likely still living at home so they are advocating for themselves really.

Well, now she knows all about consequences. Her bad. Her parents warned her and she didn’t listen. Wanted to be with her guy instead.

This is essentially what I think too, the money shouldn't have been allowed to rot, but it also shouldn't have been used so fast

So, your parents don't touch their paychecks until you've gotten out of it what you wanted from it? The daughter was warned what her parents had planned I'd she dropped out and moved out and she "thought they were bluffing." Surprise! They'd already paid for a year of college and she didn't appreciate it. Why throw good money after bad? Also, she's not living with them and is an adult. Why should they go on financially supporting her and when should their financial support end?

It was her parents money, nobody has a say in it but them.

It's their money

This!!!!!

I just described the biology.

DAN13LG -Development isn't a single linear path. Consider the fact that you have to be 21 to buy and consume alcohol, marijuana, and tobacco products because we know that parts of the brain are still developing and those substances can have significant negative impacts on the brain, and you are at a greater risk for addiction. You can't rent a car until 21 in most states and if you're under 25 you might pay an extra fee, and insurance rates are often higher until 25, because people under 25 get in significantly more car accidents because of the part of the brain that helps control impulsivity and risky behavior. Unless you can show significant proof of independent income, you can't get a credit card by yourself until 21 because the part of the brain that can calculate the long-term consequences of something like credit card debt isn't fully developed and when combined with the impulsivity, banks and the government know it's a bad decision. (1/3)

(2/3) - You are taking things to the extreme with your example. Again development isn't linear and different parts of the brain which are in charge of different decision making processes develop at different rates. Ask a 5-year-old if it's okay to hit their friend when they are angry, chances are they will say no, but we do not expect them to be perfect at not hitting their friend when they are angry and know they will probably make a mistake and we provide some consequences and reteach, knowing that eventually they will be able to better manage their feelings as they get older. We let 16-year-olds drive, but we don't let them have friends in their car while driving for the first 6mo because while they are still learning the can't manage the distractions. Again, car insurance rates are higher because the rate of fender benders are higher - levels of development: teens and young adults are more likely to have a higher rate of minor accidents, not necessarily serious accidents.

(3/3) - Even if you think about things from a pure experience perspective it still makes sense for the parents to wait a bit. For example, when training to be a pilot, first you have a teacher that you fly with, then once they feel confident you can be safe on your own, they sign you off to solo. Then you fly solo to practice maneuvers and get more comfortable. Then you test and get your private pilot license. Congratulations, you can now have passengers, HOWEVER you cannot get paid to fly people. This is because we know that the allure of making money can cloud people's judgement and you might make a decision to fly under conditions you normally wouldn't, and you don't have enough experience to handle those marginal flight conditions. Once you have flown a certain amount of hours and done additional training with an instructor, you can test for your commercial, and that allows you to fly for hire. Development isn't linear, you need to gain experience, but you also need scaffolding.

If they could they would in court but they don’t. Guess the legal system draws the line at 18. Entitled crowd at 50.