Dad Sets An Example By Supporting His Son Who Quit His $45,000 Job And Asked To Stay With Him
InterviewNeedless to say, whether you are a helpful person in general, or pick it up along the way, becoming a parent cranks that quality up to eleven whenever your kid needs help.
But this one dad online not only jumped right in to help out his son, who had recently quit his job and was asking if he and his whole family could stay with him, but also turned it around to serve as a wholesome reminder that all parents ought to help their kids recoup from things like abusive workplaces.
More Info: Reddit
Being a parent means being the ultimate pillar of support for your kid… it’s in the parent’s ‘job description’, you know
Image credits: Halcyon Styn (not the actual photo)
So, last week, Reddit user and father u/watkinobe, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for an interview, shared a story on r/AntiWork of how his son quit his $45,000 a year job, without any prospects whatsoever, and asked if he, his wife, and his 2-year-old daughter could move back in until he gets back on his feet.
“Antiwork can be somewhat anti-boomer. As a boomer, instead of being defensive, I thought an example of how older generations can make meaningful contributions to pushing worker’s rights forward was to be more supportive of our own children who are often victims of the very dynamics shared in r/antiwork,” explained Watkinobe.
And one such parent has recently shared a story of support for his son, turning it into a reminder and example for all parents
Image credits: watkinobe
You see, Watkinobe’s son got a job right after finishing college and was as excited as he could ever be, but the job turned toxic with bosses who micromanaged, owners who ruled with an iron fist, and demanding deadlines, no doubt among many other things.
The son, being a family man himself, felt he had a duty to provide for his family, so quitting a job like he did was not a sound decision for him. However, when he later called dad, trying to manage the situation he and his family were in, asking to come back home for a few months, dad, without any hesitation, told him to come over—it’s a big house, everyone’s welcome.
There was a sense of shame, there were apologies, there were promises of a fast bounce-back. “Son, you have nothing to apologize for. No job is worth what I see this job doing to you,” responded Watkinobe, reassuring him that he should come over and take care of himself first before springing back into action. There were no timelines, no promises needed, no strings attached.
Image credits: watkinobe
“After moving in with us, we were sad to see the toll on our son’s mental health was worse than he let on,” elaborated the father. “This was true for his wife as well. We often forget spouses can bear the burden of their partner’s workplace stress.”
Watkinobe also said that the heaviness that weighs on a parent when their child is suffering is also the most challenging part in handling parent-child situations like this.
Soon after this occurrence, the story found its way onto r/AntiWork on Reddit, spun as a reminder and as a piece of advice for parents that they ought to provide a ‘safe haven’ from abusive workplaces, that they ought to trust their kids to make the right choices, and to encourage them in their decisions.
Image credits: watkinobe
And the wholesome message was heard. The post was soon met with great support, garnering over 71,700 upvotes and a whopping 621 Reddit awards, spawning quite a bit of engagement in the form of 3,800+ comments (as of this article).
“When I made the post, I headed out to do some Christmas shopping and other to-do’s not even thinking the post would get many upvotes,” expressed Watkinobe his surprise with the reception. “Needless to say, I was shocked when I checked Reddit that evening. I remember thinking I must have really touched a major heart issue with the many, many young people who follow the sub.”
Many among the commenters said how awesome of a parent Watkinobe is, and that he ought to be proud of doing parenting right. Others shared their own stories, either about their parents being or failing to be supportive, or the jobs they quit. Yet others thanked him for being a great role model and sharing the story.
Needless to say, people online loved it, effectively saying Watkinobe should get an award for parenting right
“Having experienced an extended time of unemployment myself related to the pandemic, I think it is important to establish and maintain a routine that includes self-care and reflection,” pointed out the dad. “We are Mid-Westerners and this part of the country is known for a relentless work ethic. Practicing mindfulness to dispel the feelings of shame is really important.”
Watkinobe concluded on the following note: “The thing I would add is that the antiwork movement really needs to be inclusive. ‘OK Boomering’ and other ageist comments get in the way of attracting as many people to the cause as possible. My father was a union member. My family has always been pro-labor. I am delighted to see the power of social media being turned towards labor rights and activism. I really meant it when I said we all have a role to play in reducing worker exploitation in the United States.”
You can read more and see more of the community’s reactions by checking out the original post here. But before you go, tell us your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below!
471Kviews
Share on FacebookGood parent. My first job at 14yrs old, my grandmother said she wanted half my weekly wages for "digs" (a child's 'rent' to their parent). 2weeks before my 16th birthday (legally an adult in scotland) she told me "i'm not paying to take care of you anymore, get out". I asked her where I was supposed to go at 15yrs old, she said she didn't care, she'd cancelled the scholership I won to get into private school, and just to get out of her house. I'd have murdered for parents like OP actually caring about their child's wellbeing and not just about money.
As a parent in Scotland I have a spare bed for anyone suffering under such circumstances- my oldest is 17, I can't imagine telling her to get out, she's perfectly ok to take her time, leave then come back if she wants - this is her, and my other children's, home while I still live
Load More Replies...One of my greatest fears in life is that I have no backup. There is no family safety net for me, in fact, I had my father move in with me so I could take care of him the last few years of his life. I felt so stuck for so long. I couldn't make a mistake anywhere because if I did, my husband and my father would also be out of a home. My husband was finishing up college while I was working and getting my Masters so he wasn't working so he could help take care of the house and my father. I was suicidal a lot and would have dreams where I was arrested or shot and therefore, didn't have to go to work and when I woke up and I was fine I would cry hysterically because I had to go to work. If you are in that position, best advice I can give you is to dedicate at least 3 hours a week to applying to other jobs. You can't stay in that environment though I know not everyone has the ability to just leave. Make it a bigger priority for yourself.
My whole employment history is based on avoiding the A-holes, and removing myself from their black hole of despair. Choosing happiness, good mental health, and knowing it is not you but the endless amount of cruel, self-serving dbags. What you do for a job does not determine who you are as a person. Never let them take that away.
If you make that a cool meme, I will share it everywhere. It took me decades to reach that view - I've worked for actual f'n criminals - wage slave is a real thing.
Load More Replies...My parents took me out of my tiny apartment when I was unemployed and heavily in debt. I moved back to my parents when I was 25, it took 2 years to get out of debt and another year to be able to stand on my own two feet again. They supported me during that time and not a single accusation was heard. I am still very grateful to them today.
I am a full time carer for my 2 frail elderly parents in part because throughout my life they have never failed to care for me and my siblings. I always had a job but my sister and brother were not so lucky. There was never a time we were not there for each other. Re evaluate what family is if you need to. Family is the people who absolutely will not let you fall and always be there when no one else in the world will. That is the truth about being human and why we thrive in communities, we are interdependent social animals and get thru life together.
Same here, but fortunately not full time carer, I still work. They have been wonderfull parents and I felt it's the least I can do to take care of them till the end.
Load More Replies...We have a 30 year old autistic son. People have talked about putting him in a home with other autistic people so that he can be more independent. As much as I would like to, he's not ready for it. I'm not going to push him out the door when he still has a lot to learn about taking care of himself both mentally and physically. He's getting there..but he always has a safe place to go when things don't work out.
How come I'm crying reading this father's sharing. He reminded me of my conversation with my mom some months ago. I quitted my office job 2 months already but I didn't want her to know. But I can not hide anymore and I told her everything that happened, my depression working there, difficult conversations with the manager, unfair situations, ...and she said I was righ to quit. Then occasionally she sent me some money even though I said nothing abt it... I had to ask her to stop sending me money. Thank you mom!
My son, in his 30's, had been knocking himself out at dead end jobs and a couple of businesses that didn't work out. He asked if he could move back home and take the courses he needed to get into the career he wanted. I agreed, and he did intense online courses for over a year. I never asked for rent, and I paid for his food, let him borrow my car, and gave him lots of moral support. It was a tough time for him emotionally, and he got alot of flack from other family members for living with his mom. He is now working at his dream job, over $100,00 annually, has moved into his own place, and has a wonderful girlfriend. I am so happy I gave him the support when he needed it to get back on his feet :-)
A father who puts his (adult!) sons mental health as a priority AND admits to mistakes?! Is this America?! I'm in complete shock. How wonderful would it be if it were recognized and accepted in this country that mental health is Paramount to any citizen being a successful, healthy, and contributing citizen! The father foresaw an unsuccessful future for his son and grandchild and did everything he could to remedy it in the healthiest way possible. Not even a hint of toxic masculinity here. Just simply wonderful, and (unfortunately) surprising
You guys are amazing. I love my parents, they raised me to believe work and money are the mist important things in the world. I now know after 24 years of therapy my mental health is the most important thing .
My son gets something in head, and there is no talking him out of.it. He quit the job he had, and enrolled in a CDL school, he paid for it himself, he never went to school after high school, he went straight in the Marine Corp. He just thought he would love over the road truck driving. I was really excited for him, he had finally found what he wanted to do. He had 4 weeks training, and then on his own, and he realized he hated over the road truck driving, so he quit. But drivers are in such high demand right now, I was not worried about him finding a job, which he did. He starts soon, and now I am super excited for him again.
Is this a rare example? In Mexico, mostly, no parent will let their sons and daughters alone in bad circumstances.
excellent parent, but also lol imagine getting as much as $45k a year, i wonder what that's like
I was in my 40’s when my mum opened her door. She supported me in my decision to leave my ex, put a roof over my head. She was in her 70’s. She refused to take a penny from me so I could save to get back on my feet. ❤️ I miss her
No job is worth sacrificing your mental health. Unfortunately it's easier said than done.
just because a child is 'grown' doesn't mean you still don't try to help or feel that they are not your problem. if you love your child(ren) you help them when and if they need it. and, there is a huge difference between helping out and enabling. i get annoyed when i hear parents express how they believe that if they give any help at all then the kids will always depend on them. not true if you raised them with confidence. sometimes life isn't fair and people need help.
THIS. You don't stop being a supportive parent when your kid turns 18, or when they move out/get a job/start a family. My mom has been there for me, helped me out of crappy times when she can. As long as your grateful and not taking advantage of your folks, this is what family is for.
So the son had trouble with his job, got into a fight with his boss and rage-quit his job. Fortunately, he’s privileged enough to be about to move back with his parents and will be supported by them. This is not something we should be cheering. Instead, the son should have acted like an adult. When he realized the job wasn’t working out for him, he should have searched for another job - it’s a really strong job market right now. The best time to get another job is when you have a job. Then he could have left the stressful job with some dignity and a good reference. Instead, he burned his bridges and is now dependent on his parents. Not a good look.
My dad likewise stepped up. Iwas in an abusive marriage. Dad told me to meet him outside with a suitcase and toiletries. He was 25 me whisked me away to safety, bought whatever I needed, and I slept for about 3 days in safety. This is the ONE place he wont come to harass me.
Load More Replies...Good parent. My first job at 14yrs old, my grandmother said she wanted half my weekly wages for "digs" (a child's 'rent' to their parent). 2weeks before my 16th birthday (legally an adult in scotland) she told me "i'm not paying to take care of you anymore, get out". I asked her where I was supposed to go at 15yrs old, she said she didn't care, she'd cancelled the scholership I won to get into private school, and just to get out of her house. I'd have murdered for parents like OP actually caring about their child's wellbeing and not just about money.
As a parent in Scotland I have a spare bed for anyone suffering under such circumstances- my oldest is 17, I can't imagine telling her to get out, she's perfectly ok to take her time, leave then come back if she wants - this is her, and my other children's, home while I still live
Load More Replies...One of my greatest fears in life is that I have no backup. There is no family safety net for me, in fact, I had my father move in with me so I could take care of him the last few years of his life. I felt so stuck for so long. I couldn't make a mistake anywhere because if I did, my husband and my father would also be out of a home. My husband was finishing up college while I was working and getting my Masters so he wasn't working so he could help take care of the house and my father. I was suicidal a lot and would have dreams where I was arrested or shot and therefore, didn't have to go to work and when I woke up and I was fine I would cry hysterically because I had to go to work. If you are in that position, best advice I can give you is to dedicate at least 3 hours a week to applying to other jobs. You can't stay in that environment though I know not everyone has the ability to just leave. Make it a bigger priority for yourself.
My whole employment history is based on avoiding the A-holes, and removing myself from their black hole of despair. Choosing happiness, good mental health, and knowing it is not you but the endless amount of cruel, self-serving dbags. What you do for a job does not determine who you are as a person. Never let them take that away.
If you make that a cool meme, I will share it everywhere. It took me decades to reach that view - I've worked for actual f'n criminals - wage slave is a real thing.
Load More Replies...My parents took me out of my tiny apartment when I was unemployed and heavily in debt. I moved back to my parents when I was 25, it took 2 years to get out of debt and another year to be able to stand on my own two feet again. They supported me during that time and not a single accusation was heard. I am still very grateful to them today.
I am a full time carer for my 2 frail elderly parents in part because throughout my life they have never failed to care for me and my siblings. I always had a job but my sister and brother were not so lucky. There was never a time we were not there for each other. Re evaluate what family is if you need to. Family is the people who absolutely will not let you fall and always be there when no one else in the world will. That is the truth about being human and why we thrive in communities, we are interdependent social animals and get thru life together.
Same here, but fortunately not full time carer, I still work. They have been wonderfull parents and I felt it's the least I can do to take care of them till the end.
Load More Replies...We have a 30 year old autistic son. People have talked about putting him in a home with other autistic people so that he can be more independent. As much as I would like to, he's not ready for it. I'm not going to push him out the door when he still has a lot to learn about taking care of himself both mentally and physically. He's getting there..but he always has a safe place to go when things don't work out.
How come I'm crying reading this father's sharing. He reminded me of my conversation with my mom some months ago. I quitted my office job 2 months already but I didn't want her to know. But I can not hide anymore and I told her everything that happened, my depression working there, difficult conversations with the manager, unfair situations, ...and she said I was righ to quit. Then occasionally she sent me some money even though I said nothing abt it... I had to ask her to stop sending me money. Thank you mom!
My son, in his 30's, had been knocking himself out at dead end jobs and a couple of businesses that didn't work out. He asked if he could move back home and take the courses he needed to get into the career he wanted. I agreed, and he did intense online courses for over a year. I never asked for rent, and I paid for his food, let him borrow my car, and gave him lots of moral support. It was a tough time for him emotionally, and he got alot of flack from other family members for living with his mom. He is now working at his dream job, over $100,00 annually, has moved into his own place, and has a wonderful girlfriend. I am so happy I gave him the support when he needed it to get back on his feet :-)
A father who puts his (adult!) sons mental health as a priority AND admits to mistakes?! Is this America?! I'm in complete shock. How wonderful would it be if it were recognized and accepted in this country that mental health is Paramount to any citizen being a successful, healthy, and contributing citizen! The father foresaw an unsuccessful future for his son and grandchild and did everything he could to remedy it in the healthiest way possible. Not even a hint of toxic masculinity here. Just simply wonderful, and (unfortunately) surprising
You guys are amazing. I love my parents, they raised me to believe work and money are the mist important things in the world. I now know after 24 years of therapy my mental health is the most important thing .
My son gets something in head, and there is no talking him out of.it. He quit the job he had, and enrolled in a CDL school, he paid for it himself, he never went to school after high school, he went straight in the Marine Corp. He just thought he would love over the road truck driving. I was really excited for him, he had finally found what he wanted to do. He had 4 weeks training, and then on his own, and he realized he hated over the road truck driving, so he quit. But drivers are in such high demand right now, I was not worried about him finding a job, which he did. He starts soon, and now I am super excited for him again.
Is this a rare example? In Mexico, mostly, no parent will let their sons and daughters alone in bad circumstances.
excellent parent, but also lol imagine getting as much as $45k a year, i wonder what that's like
I was in my 40’s when my mum opened her door. She supported me in my decision to leave my ex, put a roof over my head. She was in her 70’s. She refused to take a penny from me so I could save to get back on my feet. ❤️ I miss her
No job is worth sacrificing your mental health. Unfortunately it's easier said than done.
just because a child is 'grown' doesn't mean you still don't try to help or feel that they are not your problem. if you love your child(ren) you help them when and if they need it. and, there is a huge difference between helping out and enabling. i get annoyed when i hear parents express how they believe that if they give any help at all then the kids will always depend on them. not true if you raised them with confidence. sometimes life isn't fair and people need help.
THIS. You don't stop being a supportive parent when your kid turns 18, or when they move out/get a job/start a family. My mom has been there for me, helped me out of crappy times when she can. As long as your grateful and not taking advantage of your folks, this is what family is for.
So the son had trouble with his job, got into a fight with his boss and rage-quit his job. Fortunately, he’s privileged enough to be about to move back with his parents and will be supported by them. This is not something we should be cheering. Instead, the son should have acted like an adult. When he realized the job wasn’t working out for him, he should have searched for another job - it’s a really strong job market right now. The best time to get another job is when you have a job. Then he could have left the stressful job with some dignity and a good reference. Instead, he burned his bridges and is now dependent on his parents. Not a good look.
My dad likewise stepped up. Iwas in an abusive marriage. Dad told me to meet him outside with a suitcase and toiletries. He was 25 me whisked me away to safety, bought whatever I needed, and I slept for about 3 days in safety. This is the ONE place he wont come to harass me.
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