If "it's just a joke" then why didn't the driver find it funny. Racists always try to excuse themselves with that wafer thin justification.

Racism is always learned, so you have to break it as soon as possible, or it will stick maybe forever in its head. (i wrote maybe because, some people learn later one, but its more likely, the don't. )

NTA, and the husband enables the racism, so he needs a lesson as well. Maybe ask him what jokes are funny at the expense of an entire race. F**k that.

Well it's blatantly obvious where the son gets his behavior from.

I thought the excess punishment was going to be the essay. I’m shocked the dad thought the in-person apology was too far. These actions absolutely warranted an apology. However, writing the essay, and reading the apology letter may be a bit much. You’re kinda making the delivery guy do some of the parenting. Personally, I have social anxiety. I don’t want to stand there awkwardly while some random kid reads me a letter and essay. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and let’s move on. However, action needed to be taken regardless.

So called jokes that I used to find funny are now mortifying. Mom is NTA.

I am Chinese. I volunteer my time to listen to people vent anonymously. During the pandemic, I've received some racist comments online just for being who I am and I have been stereotyped in real life, too. The husband here needs a lesson, too.

You're an amazing mother. Well done. Your husband should learn from you. And your son will never forget this.

My only issue is 'Forced... to write an sincere apology', It's not sincere if it's forced. Also making him read it aloud will only breed contempt if he hasn't understood/learnt from the mistake. The 2 papers were a good idea, I going to assume [the mum] read them to make sure the message got across.

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“It’s just a joke” doesn’t make it acceptable. What if that same person mocked your culture or made racist comments, hm? Just bc it is a “joke”does NOT justify nor condone it, and it’s probably the fathers fault that the child made the comment in the first place

Creative, just and reparative punishment. A+ for parenting from me. Too harsh? How?

Mom did exactly the right thing. Hope her son truly learned the lesson.

Bravo!! This, people, is called parenting. More parents should actually try it sometimes.

I'm relieve to know that there are other parents out there that are willing to teach their children, even when it's tough.

The people who say "it's just a joke" never seem to be able to take the joke when they are the punchline.

Watched a 1967 documentary last night. 3 Bible salesmen cracking racist jokes. One was trying to hard sell a Spanish American woman and telling her how fiery tempered the Spanish women are, in an effort to bond with her and make the sale. His way of saying I understand your culture. My, how times have changed. Most people just think racist these days, but know to keep their mouths shut. Most.

Let me add in my voice as a half Chinese person. I don't have much to add. But in my opinion, a simple sincere apology letter should be enough.

I think her punishment was perfect. My mom had similar punishments, not for the same scenario I was too afraid of hurting people's feelings to make such remarks, but because I took terrible care of my diabetes as a child. I more than once had to write papers on the consequences of poor care with my disease and read it to my dad, or I'd have bto he the one to tell him my latest a1c and answer his questions on why I didn't take care of myself (angsty teen who was a daddy's girl, it was the only thing that got a reaction beyond "whatever, I don't care"). The idea is reflection and education on just what was done was wrong. She didn't beat him for his insensitive and terrible remark, she made him reflect on it through the assignment, and take accountability by making him read it to the poor man that had to endure the comment.

Lost all meaning of a joke: A joke will always "offend" someone. Doesn't mean it's racist/sexist/what ever. It's supposed to be funny. Stereotypes support the essence of a joke: You couldn't have blonde jokes without the stereotype. Blondes aren't stupid, of cource, I guess their stupidity levels are the same as any other hair color. BUT: Blondes trying to fit (just) the image of a sex bomb are generally thought to be stupid enough for a stereotype. And actuall, that's where the blonde jokes began. Back in the 80s. Don't claim that some of today's celebrities don't fall into that category...

100% support the handwritten (or typed) apology. The child was not shamed, as he was not forced to air his misdeeds in public in front of strangers, people who knew nothing of his egregious behavior. He was literally required to apologize to the actual person who he offended. Which is what grown-ups do. Apologizing is what people with high moral standards do. At least one religion, Judaism, has an entire day dedicated to people apologizing to those who they have wronged the previous year.

When I was a teenager and before I was old enough to drive, I had a bad habit of sneaking out at night to hunt for cars I could take joyriding. I never trashed them and usually returned them... I just loved driving! Well, I got caught once and it turned out the car belonged to a barber in a nearby shop... which is exactly where my mom took me for a haircut a few days later, and where I took a lot of well-deserved crap from the barber and his associate barbers. That was a super humiliating experience and I don't think I learned any lesson beyond "don't get caught again," but I still have a ton of respect for what my mom tried to do for me that time.

I would have also not allowed the son to share in any of the Chinese food. I'm sure they probably had some nice American cold cereal in the pantry. And I'd be concerned about what kind of influence the father is, and what kind of punishment he thought would "fit the crime."

YES-OP is DEFINITELY NTA, dad/son both RACIST ASSHOLES! Poor delivery man!!!

defintely NTA. It may well have helped the son to get the perspective of the delivery guy. That is called empathy, not the worst of traits.

Ughhhhhhhh! So not only is your son a racist you have a sexist husband with a “it was just a joke” mentality. First off your son learned it somewhere, people aren’t born racist and I’m willing to bet your husband is the teacher. I’m not saying get a divorce, but you should certainly open your eyes and question what kind of person your husband is and turning your son into. Definitely NTA.

I'am against the racism in any way... but.. sometimes we should be more.... well... accepting. I don't know what was there... Was it racist? Was is stereotype or it was really just a joke?.... I mean... we had a tv commercial spot here in Czech Republic about a woman, who came to the chinese restaurant with her pug... and told them "Take care of my Bobyka."... and then while later the chef came there with the food, and proudly said "Bobyka!".... I mean, yeah! its Stereotype... but... it's just a joke! I mean, you need to see the bigger picture. Do I joking about cat meat in my food from vietnameese restaurant? Well... sometimes, yeah... Do I REALLY mean it? NO! I just joking... Sometimes you just need to difference between stupid joke and racism

How funny would it be if they were black

I actually thought it was funny too, but it's not nice to upset the driver or Chinese people. Humour can be offensive but it shouldn't be abusive. The mum got it right.

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/30/harrowing-footage-shows-dog-yelping-barbecued-alive-street-market-12151916/

Dad doesn't like the punishment because it shows him up

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He didn't find the "joke" funny because in many parts of the world Asian's do eat cats. I feel sorry for the cats, not the driver.

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We all know by now that it is only social acceptable to be racist towards whites. Providing they are men and straight and not disabled.