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59
Mother Thinks Her Son Bullying Classmate About Her “Weird” Lunch Is Normal, Gets A Reality Check
Interview With Expert
Cultural sensitivity is one of those things we learn by interacting with people. And that starts at an early age: in school. Sadly, some children choose to tease others because of their culture. In fact, research has found that 23% of all bullying cases involve harassment based on race.
This 7-year-old did something similar, albeit not on purpose. He called his classmate’s traditional food ‘weird.’ And when the boy’s mother found out, she didn’t see what the big deal was. That caused an uproar online, with many folks accusing her of racism and inadequate parenting.
Bored Panda sought the expertise of the Associate Professor and the Coordinator of the Social Foundations: Multicultural Education Program Area Dr. Traci Baxley, who’s also a cultural and race identity coach for parents. She explained why it’s important to teach children cultural sensitivity and the best ways parents can do that. Read her thoughts below!
RELATED:
A 7-year-old girl was having her traditional lunch when a classmate made fun of it by calling it ‘weird’
Image credits: monkeybusiness / enavtoelements (not the actual photo)
But the boy’s mom didn’t see anything wrong with his behavior; the girl was just being too sensitive
Image credits: Pressmaster / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawaymomlunch
Kids as young as three or four might start noticing cultural differences such as food or customs
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Children start noticing and commenting on cultural differences at a certain age. A toddler probably wouldn’t do that, but a three or four-year-old might. Dr. Traci Baxley says this is perfectly normal behavior, and kids usually start doing it as early as preschool age.
“This is the time in their lives when they begin interacting more with others outside of their immediate family and become more aware of their surroundings,” she explained to Bored Panda. “During this developmental period, open, honest conversations that celebrate diversity and nurture their curiosity are critical.”
For parents who worry they don’t know how to broach the subject, Dr. Baxley has some possible scripts. Parents can say something like: “It’s great to ask questions about what you see and learn. It shows you’re interested in understanding the world around you!”
It’s also important to teach the child to be open-minded and sensitive. Parents might tell them: “Imagine if someone from another country was learning about our traditions for the first time. We’d want them to be curious and respectful, right? Let’s do the same.”
That said, a child has to feel safe to ask questions. The goal is for them to explore and learn without fear, shame, or judgment. “Approach them with understanding and encouragement to support their continuous growth,” Dr. Baxley says, suggesting a possible script: “It’s okay to be curious or unsure about new things. You can always ask questions here, and we’ll find the answers together.”
Parents should expose children to foods from different cultures
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some parents might find it hard to explain the concept of cultural differences in a way their kids can understand. According to Dr. Baxley, food can be a fantastic way to start teaching young children about cultural differences.
“It’s something they can see, touch, and taste, making it both relevant and relatable, and since everyone eats, it’s a universal experience. Parents should embrace their kids’ curiosity about the world. When kids notice different foods, customs, or languages, it’s the perfect chance to teach them more about those cultures,” she explains.
“By talking about these differences in a fun and engaging way, encouraging questions, and sharing stories, parents can help their kids understand and appreciate the diversity around them. This doesn’t just teach them new things—it helps them become more respectful and empathetic towards others,” Dr. Baxley says.
She suggests some simple ways parents can go about it:
Choose a recipe to cook together or go to a restaurant from a different culture once a month. Discuss the dish’s origins and the traditional ways it’s prepared and eaten. Compare and contrast the dishes to ones that your family is more familiar with.
Read children’s books from around the world. This can expand children’s understanding and appreciation of different lifestyles and perspectives.
Watch children’s films like Coco (Mexico), Moana (Polynesia), Ratatouille (France), Brave (Scotland) and Encanto (Colombia) that highlight cultural stories. Discuss the culture, landscape, and values portrayed.
If possible, attend cultural festivals in your area. This direct exposure to different cultures through food, music, dance, and crafts can be a rich learning experience. Plus, it’s a great chance to meet people in your extended community.
People in the comments gave the woman a reality check about teaching her son to learn how to respect other cultures
However, some backed the woman, saying the girl needed to grow thicker skin
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What do you think ?
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
Its always fun when the AITA poster is so shameless about showing what a p.o.s. they are. Even the ridiculous NTAs had a hard time keeping up with her this time.
Tyranamar Seuss 4 months ago
One was sarcastic and it's thrown in there like it was a serious NTA.
Load More Replies...
Jenny Barnes 4 months ago
When I was a child a new family moved into my school. they were Asian, I don’t know what country they were from. The young girl in my class has some meal that I couldn’t identify, I exclaimed to her, “OMG what is that??:” She looked all defensive until I said, “It smells delicious!:” I had a new friend!
- 4 months ago (edited)
Let me get this right... The OP expected the 7-year-old girl to learn to overcome insecurities in order to accommodate a 7-year-old boy whose mother won't teach him manners. There is a good advice in the comments, such as using different words. If she truly believes that he's curious, she can make differences interesting to him instead of "weird" - such as trying different foods.
UpupaEpops 4 months ago
I'm just surprised more people haven't said anything about OP having the audacity to send parenting articles to another parent who reached out to her about her son's behaviour. You can disagree with the other parent if that's what you want to do, but I think she showed it why her son feels entitled to act the way he did.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 4 months ago
Exactly this! And I noticed she posted no replies to any of the YTA judgments.
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 4 months ago (edited)
When I was a kid I read a novel called Onion Tears. It was about a young girl from Vietnam who has to move to Australia because of the war. She's hurting inside in all different kinds of ways, missing her home and her pets she had to leave behind. At school, the white kids mercilessly bully her on racial grounds, making fun of her name and also targeting the Vietnamese foods she brings for lunch. It's incredibly sad, but it has a happy ending. Why? Because those kids learn to do better. Because it's not on HER to fix the situation; it's on them and their parents and teachers.
Melissa anderson 4 months ago
Low life willfully ignorant racists raise their brats to be low life ignorant racists just like themselves.
Insomniac 4 months ago
Amusing how hard people are screaming to insist this isn't about race when it so obviously is. Think it through. The spelling and grammar indicates OP to be American. Only a White person (but not all) in a White-majority country would be oblivious to the exclusion a child would feel being mocked for eating different food. Americans whose families have been there more than one or two generations are pretty accustomed to the gamut of European cuisines (plus a few others), so for a kid to see a "traditional meal" he finds "weird," it would have to be from a culture he hasn't encountered before, which eliminates anything European. I'm guessing the girl is from a small minority South Asian or African culture, because the spice/flavour/scent profiles of those two groups of cuisines (emphasize groups - as in there are countless variations) differ significantly enough from what's available in at Golden Corral or Applebee's to catch the attention of an obnoxious kid whose mother won't parent.
Load More Replies...
Leoninus Fate 4 months ago
My sister was 13, First day she was in a new school, she poured her milk into her chocolate pudding, just as she always liked it, a group of 4 girls started calling her names for it telling her she was gross and it discussing to mix food to get her {like what?} and she was nasty for drinking it They did that to her daily for 2 weeks, and she never did it again in school {losing one of the fun things she got} passed that first day but they stayed on calling her names and telling others to stay from her.... No one would be her friend, she couldn't get them to be, or talk to her unless a teacher watched or they got something out of it, But god.... tormenting a 13-14-year-old kid that liked milk in chocolate pudding? What did they think pudding was made of? This was a Problem school...so these were kids flat out cheating, stealing, and some hurt people.... my sis problem? was like the rest of the family and had bad sicknesses and could make it to school a lot so they put her in it
Bette 4 months ago
As a parent AND an educator I have to agree with the majority of the YTA comments - and roll my eyes at the "teacher should have been on top of it" in the NTA comment! Yes, I am responsible for your child for a great portion of the day - but for 45 minutes at a time; and 25 children at a time. In addition, my primary goal is to educate the students, maintain classroom decorum. I need to presume BASIC principles of human behavior are taught at home so that I only need to reinforce them in the classroom. In this particular instance the victim's mother attempted to resolve the bullying of her child by reaching out to the responsible parent. Presumably she HAS spoken to her child about prejudice and the poor behavior of others. It is unfortunate that the bullying child's mother did not see the future ramifications of her child's (and her own) behavior.....which will only come to fruition.
María Hermida 4 months ago
This story needs a looooot more details. The kid may have been trying to be offensive or not, I don't know. When you see something for the first time it's normal to think it's "weird". I lived in different countries and I've seen a lot of really weird (from my point of view, obvious) food, and I didn't say anything, but I'm sure my face showed what I was thinking. Or perhaps he was trying to be offensive. It's difficult to know. The key point is the mother must actually *parent* her child and teach him about cultural differences and how to be respectful of other people's choices. What about teaching him "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing"? It's usually a good approach to "weird" situations. These days, I know asking a parent to actually parent their child is a totally revolutionary concept, but that's their job. Instead of being so worried about marks they should focus on raising decent human beings.
OneWithRatsAndKefir 4 months ago
It’s true that maybe he wasn’t trying to be offensive- kids that age can sometimes struggle to say what they really mean and might default to using words like ‘weird’, when they really mean it in a more positive way (weird in a cool way). But even if that was the case, once the other parent reached out to her, the mother should have still talked to her son and find new ways for him to express his curiousity.
Load More Replies...
Laura A Ivett 4 months ago
Anyone telling this trash mom she is NTA is an absolute garbage human, she is a s**t parent raising a s**t kid who is a bully. The audacity telling that m other she found some online parenting classes for building confidence so she can give her kid tips, WTF? The OP is in desperate need of parenting classes, wow, what an insufferable C word..
AD Sully 4 months ago
I could kind of see both points of view until the poster said she'd sent links for parenting articles to the other parent, holy sh*t that is so blatantly condescending, and her credibility disappeared. She's an a*****e.
Insomniac 4 months ago
You can see how a mother feels like she doesn't have to teach her kid manners? Okay, then.
Load More Replies...
Ghostsauce 4 months ago
Curiosity is an odd shade to paint xenophobia. "People get built different. We don't need to figure it out, we just need to respect it." -PB
Sophia Athene 3 months ago
I don't know why but when I read your quote, my mind supplied Pooh Bear (the Winnie kind) for PB!
Load More Replies...
Steve Hall 4 months ago
We are not all the same! We will never be all the same! Please stop trying to teach children otherwise!
All profits to charity 4 months ago
Manners. Nothing wrong with manners. Even if you’re right and the food is weird. Teaching manners is a nonstop job as a parent.
Aaaa Bbbb 4 months ago
Couldn't even make myself read any NTAs. Before you speak, ask three questions. Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If your comment isn't at least 2/3, keep it to yourself. It's not that hard.
magekaz 4 months ago
The bullying kid should be asking these same questions before he speaks. Kindly. Truthfully. And very necessary.
Load More Replies...
Jumping Jellyfishes 4 months ago
A major part of parenting is that you're constantly teaching them. Kids are like little sponges and love soaking up new knowledge (it's why zoos and museums are so fascinating to them). Here was a perfect opportunity to teach their child that different cultures enjoy different food. Kids love learning about stuff like that- especially anything food-related. You can also point out what your own child enjoys eating, a child from a different culture might think it's gross
Bertha Madott 4 months ago
In 1962 I started grade 9 at a very old fashioned convent school. Boarders and day students. I am of 100% Italian background. Most of the other girls were Anglo Saxon. Wherever you sat down on Day One is where you stayed. Classroom and cafeteria. I was with very nice “English” girls. One day my mom sent me to school with a yummy but messy meatball sandwich. “Ooooh what’s that!?!” Someone shrieked in horror. I went home and told mom. No more meatball sandwiches. A little while later she put a fresh fig in my lunch. Horrors!!!!! “It looks like worms!!!!” No more figs. Eventually decades pass and my dear mother ends up in an ultra deluxe seniors residence. Mostly Anglo Saxons. Food was good. They had very successful themed dinners, the Italian night was most popular. Other nights they served rapini, arugula, eggplant: typical Mediterranean vegetables). My mom’s comment: “we have our revenge”.
Valerie Woods 4 months ago
When is Mom going to gain adult sensitivities? She's a clod. Straight to a spice shop we'd go!
Janet L 3 months ago
Maybe the comments were innocent, but the mum refusing to shut down her sensitive little soul exploring the world is sickening. Step up and explain why his comments are hurtful - and stop patronising someone who is so much better at parenting than you by sending them parenting advice. Geez, how self unaware can you be?
blinkaoa187 3 months ago
Isn't a teacher saying 'save the drama for your mama' basically saying, 'if you're being bullied, don't tell me, I won't do anything about it'...
Hodge Elmwood 3 months ago
The NTA comments were mostly from other bullies. A seven year old is not too young to be a bully. That's when it starts.
Tonyah Mcanelly 4 months ago
I think the mother should have spoken to the child and let him know how words even unintentional can impact people.
Nancy Whiting 4 months ago
Children model what they see at home. I think my daughter was in 2nd grade when a budding bully pulled her glasses off her face and called her a butt-muncher. Good parenting wouldn't have taught that young bully those behaviors and words in the first place. The teacher ended up having to handle it because the crappy parents didn't. The kid describes the food as weird because he's been taught to react that way. He'll keep on with it unless he's taught differently.
Mark Childers 4 months ago
If the mother of the boy will not parent him, the mother of the daughter needs to teach her how to kick his butt. I do not condone violence, but bullying is evil. Sometimes there is only one way to deal with a bully.
R Dennis 4 months ago
OP isn't teaching her kid how to be politely curious. Could Ultimately Need Therapy...
Willem Andries Oosterhof 4 months ago
Teaching him J.D. Vance and Trump are weird is on the other hand totally correct parenting.
Laura A Ivett 4 months ago
You are a f*****g idiot, this has nothing to do with politics, yet here you are.
Load More Replies...
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
Its always fun when the AITA poster is so shameless about showing what a p.o.s. they are. Even the ridiculous NTAs had a hard time keeping up with her this time.
Tyranamar Seuss 4 months ago
One was sarcastic and it's thrown in there like it was a serious NTA.
Load More Replies... Jenny Barnes 4 months ago
When I was a child a new family moved into my school. they were Asian, I don’t know what country they were from. The young girl in my class has some meal that I couldn’t identify, I exclaimed to her, “OMG what is that??:” She looked all defensive until I said, “It smells delicious!:” I had a new friend!
- 4 months ago (edited)
Let me get this right... The OP expected the 7-year-old girl to learn to overcome insecurities in order to accommodate a 7-year-old boy whose mother won't teach him manners. There is a good advice in the comments, such as using different words. If she truly believes that he's curious, she can make differences interesting to him instead of "weird" - such as trying different foods.
UpupaEpops 4 months ago
I'm just surprised more people haven't said anything about OP having the audacity to send parenting articles to another parent who reached out to her about her son's behaviour. You can disagree with the other parent if that's what you want to do, but I think she showed it why her son feels entitled to act the way he did.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 4 months ago
Exactly this! And I noticed she posted no replies to any of the YTA judgments.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 4 months ago (edited)
When I was a kid I read a novel called Onion Tears. It was about a young girl from Vietnam who has to move to Australia because of the war. She's hurting inside in all different kinds of ways, missing her home and her pets she had to leave behind. At school, the white kids mercilessly bully her on racial grounds, making fun of her name and also targeting the Vietnamese foods she brings for lunch. It's incredibly sad, but it has a happy ending. Why? Because those kids learn to do better. Because it's not on HER to fix the situation; it's on them and their parents and teachers.
Melissa anderson 4 months ago
Low life willfully ignorant racists raise their brats to be low life ignorant racists just like themselves.
Insomniac 4 months ago
Amusing how hard people are screaming to insist this isn't about race when it so obviously is. Think it through. The spelling and grammar indicates OP to be American. Only a White person (but not all) in a White-majority country would be oblivious to the exclusion a child would feel being mocked for eating different food. Americans whose families have been there more than one or two generations are pretty accustomed to the gamut of European cuisines (plus a few others), so for a kid to see a "traditional meal" he finds "weird," it would have to be from a culture he hasn't encountered before, which eliminates anything European. I'm guessing the girl is from a small minority South Asian or African culture, because the spice/flavour/scent profiles of those two groups of cuisines (emphasize groups - as in there are countless variations) differ significantly enough from what's available in at Golden Corral or Applebee's to catch the attention of an obnoxious kid whose mother won't parent.
Load More Replies... Leoninus Fate 4 months ago
My sister was 13, First day she was in a new school, she poured her milk into her chocolate pudding, just as she always liked it, a group of 4 girls started calling her names for it telling her she was gross and it discussing to mix food to get her {like what?} and she was nasty for drinking it They did that to her daily for 2 weeks, and she never did it again in school {losing one of the fun things she got} passed that first day but they stayed on calling her names and telling others to stay from her.... No one would be her friend, she couldn't get them to be, or talk to her unless a teacher watched or they got something out of it, But god.... tormenting a 13-14-year-old kid that liked milk in chocolate pudding? What did they think pudding was made of? This was a Problem school...so these were kids flat out cheating, stealing, and some hurt people.... my sis problem? was like the rest of the family and had bad sicknesses and could make it to school a lot so they put her in it
Bette 4 months ago
As a parent AND an educator I have to agree with the majority of the YTA comments - and roll my eyes at the "teacher should have been on top of it" in the NTA comment! Yes, I am responsible for your child for a great portion of the day - but for 45 minutes at a time; and 25 children at a time. In addition, my primary goal is to educate the students, maintain classroom decorum. I need to presume BASIC principles of human behavior are taught at home so that I only need to reinforce them in the classroom. In this particular instance the victim's mother attempted to resolve the bullying of her child by reaching out to the responsible parent. Presumably she HAS spoken to her child about prejudice and the poor behavior of others. It is unfortunate that the bullying child's mother did not see the future ramifications of her child's (and her own) behavior.....which will only come to fruition.
María Hermida 4 months ago
This story needs a looooot more details. The kid may have been trying to be offensive or not, I don't know. When you see something for the first time it's normal to think it's "weird". I lived in different countries and I've seen a lot of really weird (from my point of view, obvious) food, and I didn't say anything, but I'm sure my face showed what I was thinking. Or perhaps he was trying to be offensive. It's difficult to know. The key point is the mother must actually *parent* her child and teach him about cultural differences and how to be respectful of other people's choices. What about teaching him "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing"? It's usually a good approach to "weird" situations. These days, I know asking a parent to actually parent their child is a totally revolutionary concept, but that's their job. Instead of being so worried about marks they should focus on raising decent human beings.
OneWithRatsAndKefir 4 months ago
It’s true that maybe he wasn’t trying to be offensive- kids that age can sometimes struggle to say what they really mean and might default to using words like ‘weird’, when they really mean it in a more positive way (weird in a cool way). But even if that was the case, once the other parent reached out to her, the mother should have still talked to her son and find new ways for him to express his curiousity.
Load More Replies... Laura A Ivett 4 months ago
Anyone telling this trash mom she is NTA is an absolute garbage human, she is a s**t parent raising a s**t kid who is a bully. The audacity telling that m other she found some online parenting classes for building confidence so she can give her kid tips, WTF? The OP is in desperate need of parenting classes, wow, what an insufferable C word..
AD Sully 4 months ago
I could kind of see both points of view until the poster said she'd sent links for parenting articles to the other parent, holy sh*t that is so blatantly condescending, and her credibility disappeared. She's an a*****e.
Insomniac 4 months ago
You can see how a mother feels like she doesn't have to teach her kid manners? Okay, then.
Load More Replies... Ghostsauce 4 months ago
Curiosity is an odd shade to paint xenophobia. "People get built different. We don't need to figure it out, we just need to respect it." -PB
Sophia Athene 3 months ago
I don't know why but when I read your quote, my mind supplied Pooh Bear (the Winnie kind) for PB!
Load More Replies... Steve Hall 4 months ago
We are not all the same! We will never be all the same! Please stop trying to teach children otherwise!
All profits to charity 4 months ago
Manners. Nothing wrong with manners. Even if you’re right and the food is weird. Teaching manners is a nonstop job as a parent.
Aaaa Bbbb 4 months ago
Couldn't even make myself read any NTAs. Before you speak, ask three questions. Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If your comment isn't at least 2/3, keep it to yourself. It's not that hard.
magekaz 4 months ago
The bullying kid should be asking these same questions before he speaks. Kindly. Truthfully. And very necessary.
Load More Replies... Jumping Jellyfishes 4 months ago
A major part of parenting is that you're constantly teaching them. Kids are like little sponges and love soaking up new knowledge (it's why zoos and museums are so fascinating to them). Here was a perfect opportunity to teach their child that different cultures enjoy different food. Kids love learning about stuff like that- especially anything food-related. You can also point out what your own child enjoys eating, a child from a different culture might think it's gross
Bertha Madott 4 months ago
In 1962 I started grade 9 at a very old fashioned convent school. Boarders and day students. I am of 100% Italian background. Most of the other girls were Anglo Saxon. Wherever you sat down on Day One is where you stayed. Classroom and cafeteria. I was with very nice “English” girls. One day my mom sent me to school with a yummy but messy meatball sandwich. “Ooooh what’s that!?!” Someone shrieked in horror. I went home and told mom. No more meatball sandwiches. A little while later she put a fresh fig in my lunch. Horrors!!!!! “It looks like worms!!!!” No more figs. Eventually decades pass and my dear mother ends up in an ultra deluxe seniors residence. Mostly Anglo Saxons. Food was good. They had very successful themed dinners, the Italian night was most popular. Other nights they served rapini, arugula, eggplant: typical Mediterranean vegetables). My mom’s comment: “we have our revenge”.
Valerie Woods 4 months ago
When is Mom going to gain adult sensitivities? She's a clod. Straight to a spice shop we'd go!
Janet L 3 months ago
Maybe the comments were innocent, but the mum refusing to shut down her sensitive little soul exploring the world is sickening. Step up and explain why his comments are hurtful - and stop patronising someone who is so much better at parenting than you by sending them parenting advice. Geez, how self unaware can you be?
blinkaoa187 3 months ago
Isn't a teacher saying 'save the drama for your mama' basically saying, 'if you're being bullied, don't tell me, I won't do anything about it'...
Hodge Elmwood 3 months ago
The NTA comments were mostly from other bullies. A seven year old is not too young to be a bully. That's when it starts.
Tonyah Mcanelly 4 months ago
I think the mother should have spoken to the child and let him know how words even unintentional can impact people.
Nancy Whiting 4 months ago
Children model what they see at home. I think my daughter was in 2nd grade when a budding bully pulled her glasses off her face and called her a butt-muncher. Good parenting wouldn't have taught that young bully those behaviors and words in the first place. The teacher ended up having to handle it because the crappy parents didn't. The kid describes the food as weird because he's been taught to react that way. He'll keep on with it unless he's taught differently.
Mark Childers 4 months ago
If the mother of the boy will not parent him, the mother of the daughter needs to teach her how to kick his butt. I do not condone violence, but bullying is evil. Sometimes there is only one way to deal with a bully.
R Dennis 4 months ago
OP isn't teaching her kid how to be politely curious. Could Ultimately Need Therapy...
Willem Andries Oosterhof 4 months ago
Teaching him J.D. Vance and Trump are weird is on the other hand totally correct parenting.
Laura A Ivett 4 months ago
You are a f*****g idiot, this has nothing to do with politics, yet here you are.
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