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19YO In Tears As She Can’t Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed
I remember the first time I went clubbing and the loud music was enough to burst my eardrums, so I knew this was definitely not my scene. Of course, over time, I got used to it, but the first times always stick with you in a way, don’t they?
Anyway, speaking of clubbing, the original poster (OP) was furious with her son for abandoning his sister when they went clubbing in London. Folks online were left in a heated debate as some felt the mom was right while others said that her daughter was old enough to look after herself.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
When people go clubbing for the first time, some enjoy it while some don’t even know why they went
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s son lives in London and his girlfriend works in the entertainment industry, so they took his 19-year-old sister to a party with them
Image credits: maxtheblackcat
Image credits: Maurício Mascaro / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After midnight, they got a call from their daughter and she was hysterical as she saw people using substances and she couldn’t get a cab in her panicked state
Image credits: maxtheblackcat
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her brother and his girlfriend weren’t answering their phones and she couldn’t go back in as the security guard wouldn’t let her in
Image credits: maxtheblackcat
Image credits: Jacob Bentzinger / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Fortunately, a few girls saw her in that state and put her in a cab so she went to the hotel and her parents calmed her down
Image credits: maxtheblackcat
The poster was furious at her son for abandoning his sister, but her husband felt that she was being unreasonable as he shouldn’t have to babysit his adult sister
Today, we dive into a story that completely divided netizens while they intensely discussed how the situation went down. What happened was that the poster’s 25-year-old son’s girlfriend who works in the entertainment industry invited OP’s 19-year-old daughter to go clubbing with them and a few models.
Now, the poster tells us that her daughter had a very sheltered life coming from where they were, and although she was skeptical about the situation, she didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity and decided to go. Little did she know just how badly things would end up!
In the middle of the night, the poster and her husband got a call from their daughter, and she was hysterical as she had seen someone use substances, some men had grabbed her waist, and she couldn’t find her brother. In all the frenzy, she had run out of the club and the security guard wouldn’t let her back in to find her brother as her name wasn’t on the list.
Well, the concerned parents also called their son and his girlfriend but neither of them answered and their daughter was so scared that she couldn’t even get a cab. Fortunately, some girls saw her all shaken up, so they put her in a cab and sent her to the hotel, where her parents calmed her down.
This is where the real conflict arose as the poster felt very angry at her son for abandoning his sister, knowing it was her first time clubbing. On the other hand, her husband felt that she was being unreasonable to expect their son to babysit his adult sister. He also said that it was naive of OP not to think that models use substances, and if their daughter wasn’t confident, she shouldn’t have gone in the first place.
Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After the poster vented online and sought advice, people were of two opinions regarding the story. There were some who totally understood her anger at her son as they claimed they would never do something like that to their younger siblings knowing it was their first time clubbing in a big city.
Research suggests that, in the UK, an estimated 9.5% of people aged 16 to 59 years (approximately 3.1 million people) reported using a substance in the last 12 months. As sad as it sounds, it’s quite a high number, and folks online felt that the 19-year-old reacted quite extremely when she saw someone use substances.
They also found it questionable that she was not able to get a cab on her own and blamed the poster for being an overprotective parent. According to Youniverse Therapy, “Adult children from overprotective households have low self-esteem and self-worth, and may lack the resilience and confidence that are essential in order to face the world.”
It looks like what they claimed seems to be true. They also agreed with her husband that it was not their son’s job to look after his adult sister, and they felt that she could’ve made a better decision by waiting outside the restroom or finding her brother before getting out of the club.
In the comments, the poster explained that later they got a call from her son and they sat and discussed how things could’ve been dealt with in a different way. She mentioned that it was unfair of her to be so angry with her son and she didn’t want to judge the life of his girlfriend’s model friends, but she said that her daughter had learned her lesson.
She also updated that her daughter was going out with them again and this time, she felt more confident, and in a way, the poster was proud of her for trying to overcome her fears. What would you have done in OP’s shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks were caught in an intense debate as some felt her anger at her son was justified while others found it strange that her “golden child” didn’t know how to get a cab
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What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 1 month ago
Son said he'd look after his sis + didn't. Don't promise to do something if you're not going to DO it.
Tabitha 1 month ago
Looking after a younger sibling should just be automatic anyway. This was a naive and somewhat sheltered teenager in a noisy crowded club in a big city, with people snorting coke and older men being sleazy. FFS, a big brother’s radar should’ve automatically activated and been keeping close tabs on his baby sister’s whereabouts. And yes, if he didn’t want the responsibility, he should’ve said no to her tagging along.
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Bookworm 1 month ago
Mom needs to stop helicoptering and actually equip her adult daughter to take care of herself. To me keeping an eye on someone doesn't mean babysitting them. It means if you notice something wrong you go check on them. Otherwise it's their responsibility to find you if they need something. If she's incapable of getting herself home she has no business going out without mommy to take care of her.
Nicole Weymann 1 month ago
I agree that at 19 you should be able to extricate yourself out of this kind of situation (i.e. call a taxi, leave a message for brother, and go). On the other hand her brother PROMISED to look out for her, and when she very actively looked for his help he couldn't be found or reached by phone - meaning he wouldn't have been able to notice anything more seriously wrong, either. HeII, at that point I, as little sister, would have been worried about something happening to *him*.
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AKA AKA 1 month ago
at 19 she should be old enough do this this own BUT her brother promised to look after her so NTA
Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
Don’t ever think someone that young can truly take care of themself. I worked in a beach resort, and there were so many heart wrenching stories of young people, who just graduated from either high school or college so 18-22 years old, whose parents let them come to the beach for a week, alone with just their friends and no older person chaperoning (and I don’t mean the 22 year old chaperoning the 18 year olds, I mean an actual adult). Unless they were raised in a rough neighborhood, they have no clue about the absolute shittiness of some people in the world, and how they would take every advantage of someone so vulnerable. Rapes, beatings, and murders happened every summer, all of which could’ve been prevented if the kids were properly chaperoned by someone who can spot trouble before it happens and get them TF out of there. 18-22 year olds, and even some much older than that, simply do not have the experience to recognize, or the self-confidence to take control of , situations that get out of hand, or to even notice everything start to go bad. Especially when everyone, including themselves, are drinking. Someone older, mature, and experienced would’ve predicted it happening, stayed sober, and done everything they could to nip it in the bud. Someone older would also have the moxie to tell unwanted guests to leave, voluntarily or in cuffs—-and would already have the police on the line while doing it. They could also see through the b******t lines used by sleazy types on impressionable young people, and separate the kids from the creeps before anything bad happened. So yeah, a naive and sheltered 19 year old would be very vulnerable to the vultures in a situation like this, and her brother put her in actual danger by not keeping tabs on her whereabouts, and doing everything he could think of to find her when he lost sight of her.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 1 month ago
Son said he'd look after his sis + didn't. Don't promise to do something if you're not going to DO it.
Tabitha 1 month ago
Looking after a younger sibling should just be automatic anyway. This was a naive and somewhat sheltered teenager in a noisy crowded club in a big city, with people snorting coke and older men being sleazy. FFS, a big brother’s radar should’ve automatically activated and been keeping close tabs on his baby sister’s whereabouts. And yes, if he didn’t want the responsibility, he should’ve said no to her tagging along.
Load More Replies... Bookworm 1 month ago
Mom needs to stop helicoptering and actually equip her adult daughter to take care of herself. To me keeping an eye on someone doesn't mean babysitting them. It means if you notice something wrong you go check on them. Otherwise it's their responsibility to find you if they need something. If she's incapable of getting herself home she has no business going out without mommy to take care of her.
Nicole Weymann 1 month ago
I agree that at 19 you should be able to extricate yourself out of this kind of situation (i.e. call a taxi, leave a message for brother, and go). On the other hand her brother PROMISED to look out for her, and when she very actively looked for his help he couldn't be found or reached by phone - meaning he wouldn't have been able to notice anything more seriously wrong, either. HeII, at that point I, as little sister, would have been worried about something happening to *him*.
Load More Replies... AKA AKA 1 month ago
at 19 she should be old enough do this this own BUT her brother promised to look after her so NTA
Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
Don’t ever think someone that young can truly take care of themself. I worked in a beach resort, and there were so many heart wrenching stories of young people, who just graduated from either high school or college so 18-22 years old, whose parents let them come to the beach for a week, alone with just their friends and no older person chaperoning (and I don’t mean the 22 year old chaperoning the 18 year olds, I mean an actual adult). Unless they were raised in a rough neighborhood, they have no clue about the absolute shittiness of some people in the world, and how they would take every advantage of someone so vulnerable. Rapes, beatings, and murders happened every summer, all of which could’ve been prevented if the kids were properly chaperoned by someone who can spot trouble before it happens and get them TF out of there. 18-22 year olds, and even some much older than that, simply do not have the experience to recognize, or the self-confidence to take control of , situations that get out of hand, or to even notice everything start to go bad. Especially when everyone, including themselves, are drinking. Someone older, mature, and experienced would’ve predicted it happening, stayed sober, and done everything they could to nip it in the bud. Someone older would also have the moxie to tell unwanted guests to leave, voluntarily or in cuffs—-and would already have the police on the line while doing it. They could also see through the b******t lines used by sleazy types on impressionable young people, and separate the kids from the creeps before anything bad happened. So yeah, a naive and sheltered 19 year old would be very vulnerable to the vultures in a situation like this, and her brother put her in actual danger by not keeping tabs on her whereabouts, and doing everything he could think of to find her when he lost sight of her.
Load More Replies...
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