While joking about certain topics has become more prevalent, actually getting into the weeds and discussing things like mental health, social desirability, and being just self-conscious about everything rarely gets earnestly explored. Despite our better judgment, these things remain distasteful for public consumption and get sidelined.
So it’s not surprising that an internet user wanted to know what “socially unacceptable” things people actually thought about themselves. Answers ranged from brutally honest to poignant, so strap in, get comfortable, and be sure to upvote your favorites and comment your own, personal examples.
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I have no real desire to do anything extraordinary with my life. I just want to have my own little corner in the world, and not be bothered by anyone. Or bother anyone.
Add-on: WOW this blew up! Thanks guys 😊
As a woman I do not want kids.
I also think people should be able to choose voluntary euthanasia so they don't have to suffer if they don't want to (generally not for mental health problems but for physical ones).
Also, I don't follow rules because this post said one thing and I said three things, so there.
I wish we could also choose to have tubes tied before a certain age too. I’m finally 36 this year and asking the drs
I am a grown man who likes to play with action figures and yes I do make the noises to pretend they’re fighting it’s my hobby it relaxes me and yet I rarely tell people because they look at me like I’m a child why should we loose our sense of wonder as we grow?
We, humans, have a strange desire to appear in a way that we think will make people like or respect us more. In research, this is called social desirability bias and it is the bane of survey-makers across the globe. The long and short of it is that even in fully anonymous surveys, people will answer them in ways that they think make them look better. It’s not hard to realize just how much this can skew any data collection.
Beyond survey gathering, it also indicates that we feel a constant, omnipresent pressure to conform to certain standards publicly, even if we hardly follow them at home. We at some level are always aware of what is or isn’t socially acceptable and we’ll modify our public behavior to match. For example, people will state that voting is important and that they do it every election while not actually voting a single time.
I can never tell if I am a lazy person or depressed.
I feel like if you are not doing anything because you are somehow petrified into non-action, that is not laziness. That is fear of failure, lack of enjoyment (anhedonia), or some other reason... So I feel like if you cannot tell if you are depressed or lazy you are more likely to be depressed. No one chooses to do nothing if it makes them feel awful, just for... no reason? And so the problem is not that you are lazy, but that you think that you are. And overcoming that kind of thinking, to learn that your thoughts are not always correct, is an important step to healing.
I don't want to work.
I just want to live in a grassy field and eat fruit.
I don't wanna work. I just wanna bang on the drums all day!!!
Mental health is another topic that most agree is important to discuss but hardly ever broach the subject themselves. So one way people manage to accurately describe the way they feel is through humor. People joke about depression and anxiety quite often, despite both being relatively serious matters. The good news is that just joking about the topic can help alleviate some of the symptoms. Studies show that even a bit of humor can help take the edge off depression and help maintain happier relationships.
I’m a reasonably attractive, goal-driven woman in my 20s and I have genital herpes. Right before the first pandemic shutdown I was raped at a concert and got it as a result.
I’ve healed a lot from what happened and have very much come to terms with it and I accept it’s a part of who I am, but yeah, generally the perspective on STDs sucks and people are quick to joke about them/judge people who have them when in reality these things can happen to just about anyone.
Edit: I made this post right before bed last night and woke up to so much kindness from you lovely people. Thank you for the reassurance and encouragement, appreciation doesn’t begin to cover how I feel right now. The anniversary of when everything happened is coming up in a few weeks so naturally this has been on my mind a bit more. You’ve all made me feel a lot less alone and have given me a more positive outlook. Thank you so much.
As a fellow person who has been raped, I understand this girls pain about the anniversary, I was thinking about ending my life when it came up for me. Sending strength and love to this girl. Some men are trash.
I’m a woman and I’m completely disgusted by pregnancy, I don’t find it beautiful at all. It creeps me out.
On a fully separate tangent, nose-picking. Abhorrent. Childish. Disgusting. Also, we basically all do it. Despite how unacceptable it appears to be, most humans pick their noses roughly four times a day, no doubt making sure to be out of sight from any fellow nose-pickers. Due to it being so socially unacceptable, people vastly underestimate how often it happens, with only 75% of US respondents in one study believing that everyone has tried it.
I feel like I'm constantly analysing how to interact with people - every conversation I have feels like a performance and not the real me, like Im just mimicking other conversations I've read or heard.
I've got the same problem. Not autistic, but was bullied as a kid. Im pretty sure it stems from that.
I have no ambition to do anything. no dream job or passions either. I’m not depressed by any stretch but I just would be happy and fine if all I did was lay around all day and live off saved money. However most people are utterly disgusted by that so I lie and pretend I have a dream job or that I’m passionate about certain things I honestly only really do any of those things for money or to pass the time. I don’t care about any of them.
I work for money. If I had money I wouldn't work. It's that simple. Would find something to do, like a vegetable garden and reading, but certainly nothing stressful.
I am a pig farmer.
Most y'all eat your pork, but most people don't like to think of where it came from or how it got there. The number of times I've had people imply implicitly and explicitly that I am a murder is absurd considering a vast majority of them I know eat pork or love bacon. Outside of Reddit, I no longer tell anyone what I do.
What really gets me is that I take great pride in the high standards I keep at my farm. They have short and hard lives so I make sure they are taken care of and treated well by my coworkers.
Ok, away from the nose and on to daydreaming. Most of us do this as well, due to boredom or just an escape from reality. But some take it so far that it can begin to interfere with their real lives. This is often called maladaptive daydreaming or excessive daydreaming. Basically, it’s daydreaming so intense and frequent that the person begins to forget where they are, which negatively affects their academic or professional performance. Often this manifests as fake conversions people have in their heads. It, unfortunately, remains understudied and is not currently classified as a mental disorder.
I talk to myself as if people were listening even when I’m alone
I enact conversations l'm going to have or ones l wish l had if l could. But only alone at home.
My father was not a very engaged parent, but when school started trying to force me to be right handed, he went to the school for the first and only time. He told them “ the boy is left handed, let him be” and they did.
We also absolutely love some gossip. As one post here mentions, the person will leave earbuds in without anything playing to eavesdrop on what people are speaking about. Or think about going out to dinner and overhearing a terrible first date or argument from a nearby table. Most of us, myself included, would stop what we are doing and listen in. From an evolutionary standpoint, this is an important element of social grooming, but it also often seems childish and people do not want to admit to doing it.
I daydream wayyyy to much. I'm constantly day dreaming. At home, at work, while I'm driving, before I'm sleeping, while I'm eating. I'm always daydreaming.
Edit: I was not expecting this to blow up as much as it has. I'm really glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'll try to reply to everyone individually.
I think this is the only way I could live. Reality sucks way too much for me.
When I worked in a human transplant tissue lab I would talk to the (deceased) donors to make myself feel better about processing a person who died suddenly hours before.. like “hey Mrs. Byrd, how are we feeling today?” When she is obviously lying in pieces in a cooler about to be swabbed, irradiated, and transplanted in another human.
I don't think there's anything weird about this. It's treating the person with respect and dignity. Also, if your job goes right, they (or at least part of them) will soon be living again.
I think babies are obnoxious s**t machines.
I don't go out of my house if it's not extremely necessary
I have to go grocery shopping today, and I'm not looking forward to it. I absolutely will take the time to determine the best time to go in order to encounter the lowest number of people.
I hate kids and am a teacher. I’m a high school teacher and I enjoy teaching teenagers, but can’t stand kids under the age of 11.
i am 46 years old and whenever i come across a self opening door i make a small movement with my hand like i am using the force... i dont even control that consciously anymore its automated behaviour
I definitely do not know at what point expressing my desire to talk to someone crosses from 'reaching out in a friendly way' into 'annoying and impinging'.
And I worry about it !
EDIT: It is weirdly reassuring to see how many others feel similarly.
I've come to the conclusion I get annoying. Lost a lot of friends for interfering too much. When I like someone as a friend and have good times. I want to always be in those good times.
I'm suicidal. Passively, meaning I'm not making any plans. I'm safe and this is a constant for me. It feels like I can't tell my friends except in asking for help. I just want this to be something I can tell people because it's so significant in my inner world.
edit: i am getting professional help, i've been in therapy and medicated for a while. thanks for all your concern, im sorry i didnt say that in the original comment
I feel you. I am in a place now and have been for a while now where I want to die. I don't want to kill myself, I just don't want to live anymore. Really hard to bring that up with others, but the thought is in the forefront of my mind about 70-80% of my waking hours every day.
A can go for weeks without talking to anyone. I have no need to talk. I’d make a great vow of silence monk.
Used to love being w ppl. then they became exhausting. leave me alone please.
I **love** not having kids!
I have fake conversations with people i know in my head that result in me argumenting loudly to no one.
I met my wife at her wedding.
Edit: Holy s**t, that blew up. RIP my inbox. I posted this just before going to bed last night, sorry to leave you all hanging. I guess it’s story time!
My ex-wife and I went to one of her friend/co-workers wedding about 10 years ago (let’s call the friend Sarah). I had never met Sarah before. Over the years we kind of became friends but not particularly close. She’d come over to take care of our son once in a while when I was working nights and my ex had something going on, we went camping with her and her husband a few times, I even went to the movies with her husband once or twice. Sarah and I always got along really well. We had very similar taste in music, very similar sarcastic senses of humour.
Well, things started getting really s****y between my wife and I and eventually she left me. Sarah kind of acted like a buffer between us because things were tense and we still had a child to consider. This led to Sarah and I starting to have long conversations about pretty personal stuff. Little did I know her marriage was in trouble too. Her husband (let’s call him Dave) had essentially forced her into an open relationship that she didn’t want. She’d agreed to try it because she didn’t want to give up on it but by this point she’d had enough. I even called Dave and told him to sort his s**t out and stop doing this to Sarah. He did not and eventually Sarah left him. Through all of this she and I kept talking, almost like a kind of therapy. We were both going through really difficult things and being there for each other really helped get both of us through.
My ex, Sarah and some of my ex’s other friends were up at a cottage for a girls weekend, and on the Saturday night I get a text from Sarah saying she’s leaving because my ex had outed her for some very personal stuff in front of the other people there who she didn’t even know that well. Her plan was to sleep in her car and drive home in the morning. I was living between the cottage and where she lived and was worried about her so I told her to come crash at my place for the night, which she did (nothing happened).
After that we started hanging out more frequently and really started to become attracted to each other. Sarah had told me before this that she had feelings for me, I had still been trying to make things work with my ex and had told Sarah that we couldn’t because it would devastate her. By the time all this happened I’d started dating a little bit and had given up on working things out. I also wasn’t very concerned about how my ex would react anymore because she’d been pretty horrible to both of us for quite a while now. One thing led to another, and one night we just said f**k it. And that was that. We’ve been together about 5 years now, have a kid and couldn’t be happier.
I have spent unhealthy amounts of time imagining how radically different my life would be if I didn't mess up big time
I have an incredibly hard time talking to people I don't know.
I'm 34 years old and sleep with my childhood teddy bear and I refuse to pass it down to my child.
40 here, with my childhood blanket (my moms old robe) and still occasionally suck my thumb when I'm super stressed and tired.
When I'm out in public I sometimes put my earbuds in just to listen to what other people are saying around me, nothing playing on my end.
EDIT: Didn't really expect this one to get noticed and thank you for the award.
I don't care what I look like in public. I dress to be comfortable.
I'm the opposite. I used to be kind of pretty, but health issues have messed with my weight and altered the shape of my facial features, and I'm embarrassed about the way I look.
I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. No matter how much people scream “mental health matters” on their social media pages, the stigma is VERY MUCH still there.
EDIT: I wish I could go through and like every single one of your comments. Just know that I see you, I hear you, I recognize you AND your struggles, I appreciate you, and I wish you all the best!! Also PLEASE seek help when you feel like you need it. There are so many professionals out there who I promise will listen!
The dark truth is that if you really want to know what kind of people your friends are, get seriously ill. I don't think it's the easiest thing in the world to be friends with a bipolar person, because a bipolar person doesn't have an easy time with themselves either.
Id rather be naked about 80%of the time
If God had intended us to be naked, we would have been born that way. Oh wait...
I would rather sleep than talk to another person like, all the time.
I am a quiet person and work with a guy that never stops talking and only about himself
I shower once a week. Sometimes I go longer. I also have a hard time getting around to brushing my teeth.
I brought it up with my therapist and I’m trying to improve. Every time I have a good streak going, something f***s up and then I fall into weeks without cleaning myself. I don’t know what to do.
Even worse, I’m completely anosmic. So I can’t even smell myself, and often forget that I need to get clean.
I do the same thing mostly about brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and cleaning my room. I'm just to tired and stressed at the end of the day even though i do nothing but procrastinate.
I think my family are a bunch of self involved manipulating a******s and if they didn’t talk to me again, it might make my life easier.
I have never been in an emotionally deep and mutually trusting relationship. I want to be but I've never met someone who felt the same way. I'm very introverted and one poor relationship experience left me reeling for the better part of a decade.
I think this is more common than people realise. A lot of people have trust issues and self sabotage potential relationships. Many others will be in relationships that aren't particularly fulfilling but are either scared to be single or don't want people to assume there's something 'wrong' with them.
I am faking everything. Literally. I could not care less about anything. But I fake it all.
I am not saying that this particular person is dangerous, but this KIND of person can be VERY dangerous.
Can't stand brushing my teeth. I do it but hate it.
EDIT: Kinda sad the highest upvoted comment I have is about hating brushing my teeth lol. Please brush your teeth folks: my mom's are falling out because of her poor hygeine when she was younger.
I'm a hopeless people pleaser, i'm working very hard on that but i've been abused into being terrified of making anyone upset so i tend to let people walk on me and push limits until it's really breaking me before i start setting boundaries and it often results in hurtful situations for everyone involved.
I'm working on it though.
It might sound ridiculous, but I was born a left handed person. It was unacceptable in our family and I was forced to eat and write with my right hand.
Now, I can write with both but much faster and neater with my right hand.
In my dreams, I still write and eat with my left hand.
Edit: Additional information.
I was born in Feb1982..... in India.
Studied in a catholic school, a Jesuit School to be precise.... so Christian(Italian) beliefs.
Yes, I started eating with my left hand again as I use my right hand to wash and wipe my rear. Couldn't wash with my left.
Edit2: Thank you everyone.
I am also a left handed person born in India and I have lost the count of times when people pointed out how I was eating or writing with my left hand. Thankfully my parents are accepting and never forced me to change but I still get to hear a lot of ridiculous judgements from the society.
I think I’m autistic but I’m not diagnosed. I’ve been reading a ton of studies on ASD presentation in adults but I almost feel embarrassed doing so without a diagnosis.
I think I have Asperger's but I've been unable to find someone in my country who could do a diagnosis.
I have a voice in my head who I talk to out loud sometimes. Not like my inner thoughts but it’s like they’re another person. I know they’re not real but they make me think twice about doing or not doing something. Usually for the better.
I'm with you. We have conversations just like two people would. I often say my inner monologue is an external dialogue ;)
If offered, I would probably endulge in a drug and prostitue fuelled orgy
Whenever I'm cooking I pretend I'm on a cookery show and talk (in my head) to the imaginary audience. I'm a very witty and popular host. Was nominated for an imaginary Emmy a couple of years ago, although I didn't win.
One thing I have noticed a great deal is since Covid lockdown the amount of people who now prefer a much quieter life and less social interaction.
Ngl, overall, even with getting it, covid lockdown was a huge blessing for me, the only time I've had a near total reprieve from anxiety for a while
Load More Replies...sorry but this list is so funny to me. As for me, my weird thing is probably that when I'm reading a book and a dramatic scene happens, or a character does something awful, I put the book down, stand up, and start monologuing. I'll talk to the characters and completely chew out the ones I wish I could yell at, or rework the dialogue to fit what I want, or so on. TL;DR, I talk to book characters like they can hear me when I have emotions about the book.
OMG, someone who does this too?!?! I thought I was insane!!!! I’m not the only one!!! Oh god, it can get really vivid too. The story just gets too good and my heart feels like it’s gonna pop so I have to stop and start monologueing to the characters!
Load More Replies...Whenever I'm cooking I pretend I'm on a cookery show and talk (in my head) to the imaginary audience. I'm a very witty and popular host. Was nominated for an imaginary Emmy a couple of years ago, although I didn't win.
One thing I have noticed a great deal is since Covid lockdown the amount of people who now prefer a much quieter life and less social interaction.
Ngl, overall, even with getting it, covid lockdown was a huge blessing for me, the only time I've had a near total reprieve from anxiety for a while
Load More Replies...sorry but this list is so funny to me. As for me, my weird thing is probably that when I'm reading a book and a dramatic scene happens, or a character does something awful, I put the book down, stand up, and start monologuing. I'll talk to the characters and completely chew out the ones I wish I could yell at, or rework the dialogue to fit what I want, or so on. TL;DR, I talk to book characters like they can hear me when I have emotions about the book.
OMG, someone who does this too?!?! I thought I was insane!!!! I’m not the only one!!! Oh god, it can get really vivid too. The story just gets too good and my heart feels like it’s gonna pop so I have to stop and start monologueing to the characters!
Load More Replies...