“Total Ignorance Of Science”: 40 Older Adults Point Out Weird Things That Are “Normal” Nowadays
Interview With ExpertMany cultures have proverbs about respecting your elders. In theory, they've lived for longer, so they automatically have more experience, and with experience comes knowledge, right? Maybe some people would like to argue that wisdom doesn't come from how old you are. Yet you can't deny that people who have more years under their belt might have a different perspective on current trends and events.
Well, one netizen had the idea to ask older adults which current social norms and things they find strange. The user u/-----Diana----- wrote: "What's socially normal now that you disagree with?" The people on r/AskOldPeople shared some things they're not entirely on board with. And their answers are actually insightful, not the old-man-yells-at-cloud kind.
To know more about the 'Grumpy Old People' myth and why older people tend to disagree with modern social norms, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Julie Erickson, a clinical psychologist and author of The Aging Well Workbook for Anxiety and Depression.
We also managed to have a conversation with the Redditor who started the discussion, u/-----Diana-----. The user from Romania was kind enough to tell us why she was curious about what older adults think of today's social norms. Read both interviews below!
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Our society being ok with total ignorance of science and some are even praised for it.
It's natural for people to have differing opinions. Sometimes, these opinions can differ because of age. And that's completely normal, too. Clinical psychologist and author of The Aging Well Workbook for Anxiety and Depression, Dr. Julie Erickson, says that different generations commonly have conflicting views over norms, values, and beliefs.
"Each generation has 'cohort beliefs,' which are beliefs held by people born at a similar time period," Dr. Erickson tells Bored Panda. "These beliefs are shaped by a variety of different social, political, cultural, environmental, technological, and economic factors of the time."
But to say that "all elderly people hate technology" would be too simplistic and untrue. And, honestly, pretty ageist. There's much more nuance to it than that. "It's important to recognize that there is tremendous individual variability in the extent to which older adults accept new social norms," Dr. Erickson observes. "Some older adults are quite capable of evolving their worldview. It's an ageist assumption that older adults are stuck in their ways or more resistant to change."
The widespread inability to spell words correctly or use them properly ( e.g. Their , There , They're ) and don't get me started on grammar.
Everything. I'm old. Get off my lawn.
The clinical psychologist says that some studies suggest the personality trait we call 'agreeableness' increases as people age. "That being said, as we get older, we tend to prefer what is familiar and personally meaningful," she also notes. "This can make some people less open to new experiences or worldviews."
When the world's changing so fast and in so many ways, it can become harder and harder to keep up with current trends. And that includes not only knowing who the most popular celebrities are or what the latest fashion trend is. It's more about things like what words or phrases might be inappropriate to use.
Kids (and some adults, but I mostly see kids) with tablets or phones at full volume out in public. I have no interest in hearing other people's games, videos, music or phone conversations.
I see this far more with retirees than with younger folks. Phone on speaker, full volume, blabbing it up about nothing regardless of setting. I don’t need forty minutes of Sylvia’s infected toenails.
Me: Hey, how have you been?
Them: Haven't you seen my posts on [social media platform]?
Me: I'm trying to have a conversation with you, not subscribe to your newsletter.
Being mad at me because I don't automatically know your pronouns... Just tell me if I'm wrong in a nice way and I'll adapt.
People changing their naturally born pronouns and expecting the entire world to magically know something which took them years to find out for themselves and exploding on them is the biggest douche move. Congratulations! You know yourself more fully now, but it doesn't give you the right to be a rude a*****e about it when others don't know. They expect people to know in an instant what took them years, maybe even decades, to find out for themselves. You're an idiot who thinks you now have an excuse to be rude and the masses will back you up because you are "different". People aren't hating on you because your pronouns don't align with the "traditional" sense; they're hating on you because you are an obnoxious, entitled a*****e.
Some people grow more anxious as they age because they feel like the world might be leaving them behind. Dr. Erickson says that this is a concern for people who subscribe to the narrative that it's all downhill from a certain age.
"We forget about everything we gain as we get older: wisdom, maturity, emotional stability, a clearly defined sense of self, not sweating the small stuff as much, and plenty of experience solving problems. It's about finding a way to use these strengths in a changing world," she explains.
Its now socially normal to not use caps or punctuation so that your thoughts are all one single stream of consciousness and really hard to read like reading ulysses but the kids dont even know or care what that is because they just want to get their thoughts all out at once without any regard for the reader and the annoyance it is to try to figure out what they are saying Signed: A pained English major.
Being around others while obviously sick. It’s been normalized because we have a garbage safety net that doesn’t allow people financially to take care of themselves and not make others sick. Or allow them to be off work to care for sick children. 40 years ago when unions were strong there were lots of sick days in lots of jobs and people mostly were able to stay home when really sick, in professional or union jobs anyway. There’s always been a segment of the working population that got screwed. But now more than ever we need generous sick leave policies in place for EVERYONE.
Corporations have groomed people into believing that taking sick time is a bad thing, that they aren't team players. Then the government started doing the same thing with covid and took away that safety net. STAY HOME when you are sick. If you physically can not then put on a damned MASK for everyone else's sake. It is NOT a sign of weakness, rather a sign of strength.
Since this is the Ask Old People category, I disagree with people being dismissive because I am old. I have at least one more sucker punch left in me for the next ‘ok boomer’ comment I get in person.
When my father was in his 70s & 80s, he would get annoyed by the "ageism" shown to him when out in public, at stores and even in the nursing home lived in for the last six months of his life. I'm not saying it's worse than the other "-isms" but it definitely is the one that seems ignored. This isn't about being treated differently because of dementia (how those people are treated is a whole other story), it was a much wider range of behaviours shown to him, including being talked to like he did have dementia, because people would presume he did. He would get frustrated and tell me "they treat me like I'm stupid" when an incident happened. He wasn't, his only crime was being an older person.
Bored Panda also had a short chat with u/-----Diana-----, the author of this thread. "I got the idea for the question one morning when lying in bed," the young Redditor tells us. The user shared how she lives in a Romanian village where a big portion of the population is over 50. "They have lots to complain about," the Redditor chuckled.
I'm really not comfortable will all the ads for betting and sports book platforms.
We can’t advertise alcohol, pharmaceuticals or nicotine in my country. However, we can advertise gambling. Guess which country has the highest amount of gambling losses? Edit to give more facts… we have HALF the entirety of the worlds slot machines, and the government gets 30% of every dollar put into them. And then add another 40% of tax from the owners of the slot machines for any gains on said slot machines.
Not being willing or able to just be superficially nice in social settings. Sometimes it's *okay* to just be pleasant instead of making your unique and specific viewpoint heard.
Pretending we're all fine when we're not has, in my opinion, acerbated a lot of mental health issues. Better to talk them out then act them.
Tipping on everything. Especially with those iPads that spin around and awkwardly ask you for 10% because someone got you a muffin from behind the counter. Make it end.
This is an everybody thinks this thing. It’s making for a hostile purchasing experience.
The inspiration for the question came from a lady in her mid-70s, u/-----Diana----- tells us. She overheard the woman complaining about how her grandchildren were always on their phones. The Redditor then went to r/AskOldPeople to ask the older adults what things the younger generation does nowadays that bother them. "The answers there tend to be intriguing generally," the user adds.
The assumption that if you say one thing you automatically believe something else. For example if you say that we should look at tightening up our gun control laws, that automatically means you're anti-gun and want to take away everybody's guns.
Yes, the total inability to appreciate nuanced arguments. "If you're not with us, your against us" mentality that just breeds polarisation.
Playing with your phone while in the presence of live conversation.
Politics being your entire identity. They did this to us on purpose to divide us.
"Religion" being your entire identity, "ethnicity" being your entire identity...
u/-----Diana----- also told us that she's heard her fair share of complaints about young people from her grandparents. "They're both about to turn 70 years old this year," she says. According to the Redditor, they like to talk about how the young generation is self-absorbed and how people became worse and worse after the demise of Nicolae Ceaușescu and the fall of the communist regime in Romania.
Peak Cpitalism; the wealthy amassing even more wealth and not caring about a decent life for everybody.
Declarations of "body count" to dating partners. I don't like the violent implication of the term, and I don't like intimate history being tallied like a score.
Never saying NO not your child.
It sounds very «boomer» - I know.
But I have two kids born early 2000s and one child born 2015, and just wow how many more kids are brats now.
Don’t get me wrong, kids have always been kids and act out, but now they are more rude.
We have always had the whole class in kids birthday and it has always been insane and loud, but with my youngest class I just can’t do it.
I call it laissez-faire parenting. No, you do need to teach your children respect and appropriate behavior.
However, u/-----Diana----- agrees with some things the older people shared in this thread. She feels sad about how many young people of her generation seem to spend too much time on their phones and are not living in the moment. And while she thinks that the rise of loneliness might be imminent, she remains optimistic. All we need is some meaningful human contact, she says.
My grandfather used to tell me that who you vote for is private. He and his wife never even shared with one another which candidate won their vote. I wish that was the case in modern times.
A couple of things but the biggest one by far is the ear bud culture which just bleeds into a level of rudeness and isolation that’s unsettling. You might find small talk tedious but I promise you, the connection to the outside world that small talk creates is a gift to you. Humans aren’t meant to be so isolated.
As a parent I give a lot of rides. I can’t tell you how many teens have gotten into my car without even a simple hi or hello and sat there silently with their head in their phone and their ear pods in.
Say hi. Talk about the weather for a minute. It might be dumb but we are human and civility and connection matter. Otherwise all you’ve got is that phone and your ear buds. It’s kind of a bleak existence.
The way that men are starting to call women "females" but when referring to men they say "men".
We are not lab specimens dude.
That every white woman who complains is a Karen. Sometime it’s a legitimate complaint.
Calling someone a Karen on Social Media has become such a lazy comeback for when you don’t agree with someone who appears to be female online.
I don't get why it's wrong to use punctuation when texting.
Also why can't they spell out the words! Seriously, you don't pay by the character anymore. Misspelling and no punctuation, or the dreaded all caps/no caps is not a flex.
Recording everything.
Recording fights. Recording car crashes. Recording traffic stops (your own or others) when cops have body cams and dash cams already. Recording people in the gym (yourself or others), recording in public and getting mad at pedestrians for ‘ruining the shot’.
Heck, people were even standing there like insane people recording the Super Bowl parade shooting. Like dude…LEAVE THE AREA OR HIDE. Don’t stand there drooling with a phone in your hand for internet clout or to sell it to the news.
Cops are infamous for turning off or obscuring their cameras when they know they're doing something illegal, people recording things has helped expose things that otherwise would lack the kind of evidence needed to take them to task. Additionally, while recording events like a shooting are terrible, footage like that has been used by law enforcement to apprehend perpetrators. It's not exclusively a negative thing.
Children having access to social media.
I think nothing good comes of it.
I got other parent friends who have no issue with their kids scrolling tiktok, or being on whatsapp groups (I was an older mum, my kid is still primary school age).
(She says, acknowledging the irony of posting this on reddit).
I went for a walk at a park recently. There was a guy entering the trail while holding his phone out and talking into it. Everyone got to hear his c**p instead of the relaxing nature sounds. Isn’t he special?
Since he wants to share his conversation with you, feel free to join in.
People posting their entire lives online. I'm probably excessively private but it's really crazy how people are so willing and even eager to broadcast their personal lives to the world.
I don't think people fully appreciate how possible it is to string together little details from multiple sources and form a detailed picture of someone's life. That should scare people.
I think that's about to get a lot scarier. I came across a tool that uses AI-powered facial recognition to search the web. I tried it with my own face using a fairly old low-resolution social-media profile pic in which part of my face is covered with a graphic. I don't have much of a web presence but it found pictures of me in a bar in another country, with different hair, beard etc, that my sister put on Insta. I couldn't help but think how easily this could be abused.
Wearing pajamas and slippers to go shopping. People, if you can't be bothered to put on fresh clothes, don't go out in public. Also, do they then wear those pajamas to bed? Ew!
Who cares? It's not affecting your life beyond the fact that you're choosing to pay attention to it.
Actually it makes you seem both trashy and lazy at the same time, and it also shows the people that say oh well, you want to sleep go home, and sure you have more shoes than a pair of slippers
Load More Replies...Aha. See, there is a real division here; and most of you are not seeing it. That's - normal, and the problem. These are supposed to be comments from elders- but the responses are to justify current behavior. What the elders did not clarify- since it was obvious to them - is that wearing sleepwear in public - was an egregious transgression in earlier times. Likely to get you picked up by the cops- and simply beyond the pale. Now- that HAS changed- but for them, their gut still reacts the same way. Horror!! Horror!!!! Not kidding. HORROR!!
so I'ma shed some light on this as a younger person who does this. I barely have enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning, let alone get dressed and actually go shopping for the food I need. If you care so much that's your problem tbh mind your business you have no idea what I'm struggling with every day.
Because none of us who get dressed to go out have struggled with anything as "horrible" as you have. Boohoo🙄
Load More Replies...LOL sounds like "people of Walmart". I don't mind the PJs much, it's the ones in the ripped/torn/obviously dirty clothes that annoy me (not that they just got off work, but that they wear this stuff all the time!) My folks would have NEVER let me out of the house without changing
Mind your own. Sometimes, getting up at all is hard enough for several days, yet done every day. I need some stuff, I'm not going to a fashion show or such, and if I'm ugly, look elsewhere, tell someone else, I don't care. What ever became of leaving people alone?
No. In public - you do not always get to do just anything. You have to mind everyones- not just your own. So elders believe.
Load More Replies...I find it absolutely ridiculous that convention should be more important than being comfortable. There is no inherent worth in certain clothes over others, all clothing conventions are just made up stuff, that humans decided, so why shouldn't we decide we can wear things that make us feel comfortable? We could decide that comfortable clothes are now the new chic clothes and then everyone can follow the clothing rules and still be comfortable. Why are we not doing that?
Lol. I like being as comfortable as possible, so I'll wear whatever the fvck I want. Also, no, I don't wear those same pajamas to bed, I have separate pajamas for everything.
Food for thought - I too dislike the "Walmart shopper" look. But instead of just hating - consider there might be reasons for it. I have known people who wore slippers shopping because their feet were too swollen to wear their regular shoes. I have known people who wore pajamas or other "sloppy" pants (yoga, sweats) because either due to temporary bloating or morbid obesity they didn't have anything in their size. Not every person who doesn't dress to your standards is lazy trailer park trash. Though I admit it seems like some are.
Look. I'm overweight because of my depression medication. I hate my body so I wear big shirts and pajama pants when I go to the store. Ok? Is that a good enough explanation? Leave me and anyone like me alone.
Like it or not, how you dress is a form of communication with the people around you.
Yes. And by wearing pajamas in public I'm giving the message "I don't give a fûck what's your opinion". If you feel offended, I still don't give a fûck.
Load More Replies...We out there so you have people to keep judging although I'm sure you'd find something else to judge if we disappeared. I don't need to get made up and fresh to go to the store. I'm not shopping to impress you.
To me this says, "I'm to lazy to even get dressed" unless it's a kid and it's Pajama Day at school lol
This is a thing people get mad about? Where I live, it's a totally normal thing to go about in public, stores, etc, without shoes and/or socks on. I didn't realize anyone was bothered by thus.
I throw my long coat over pj's/a onesie sometimes (knee length). I tend to wear sloppy, comfortable clothes and multiple layers anyway. I have chronic fatigue and joint issues and often my motivation levels are low and quite frankly IDGAF if you're judging me based on my clothes.
Wore this to the store on my way to work today. Not lazy - I’m a teacher (with a masters degree) and I dressed up for pajama day to celebrate reading month with my students who have literally just learned to read this year. Sooo perhaps find a different way to judge people.
I live in a small town. Normally I wear what I call lounge wear at home. Some people might consider them PJ'S. I have a PO box. Recentlly if I just need to check my mail I will leave them on and go to the post office to check my box. Most times nobody is in there. The post office workers are in the back working so I don't see them when I go in either.
Never seen it in any European country... Throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt barely takes any effort at all. If I don't have the energy to do that, which happens as someone with thyroid issues and chronic depression, I don't have energy to leave my house at all and will just stay inside. Leaving your home in pyjamas is gross.
Load More Replies...I think I'm going to try out one of Ye's wife's clothing options...in the Bible belt, where the citizens find an adult and Liquor stores offensive.
Load More Replies...For some pajamas are the only things they can wear that don't send them up the wall. If it comes down to me wearing PJs or not going out of my house at all, I'll wear my PJs. I have outside PJs and bedtime PJs.
I never see people in pyjamas and slippers shopping. I do see a lot of people in lingerie shopping.
Interesting to see these posts, and the extent to which Mainstream Media has pitted us against each other. Not healthy to hate because someone holds a different opinion than you. BTW, I agree. There's an appropriate way to go out into public. Sorry Millennials.
Did you know the oldest millenials are now 43 years old? Just asking.
Load More Replies...Do you still get on an airplane in your best suit or dress? No. Then relax
Emotional support dogs/pets pretending to be service dogs Dragging your dog every f-ing where. I love dogs,I foster dogs,I train dogs,I have 4 huge dogs....that don't go shopping/to festivals/everywhere with me. Also letting your dog with c**p recall off leash and thinking that screaming he's friendly makes it better. And not picking up your dogs s**t on hiking trails,that's just rude and ignorant. And petting strangers dogs,um no keep your hands to yourself please Those disgusting long nails some women sport like little wearable petri dishes. Talking about politics,money or religion in every social setting. It was so much nicer when people realized that not every gathering needed to be bombarded with contentious subjects.
I agree with most of this, if not all. It's just a little hard to decode without the use of punctuation.
The thought of if you can't accept me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.
That the following are OK with a large swath of the population:
Shoplifting
Fighting
Shooting each other
Yelling
Using outdoor voices indoors and drawing everyone's attention to you
Lack of customer service.
Vaping in public really bothers me. I hated it when restaurants and bars were filled with cigarette smoke before 1990 (or whenever that changed). Now, I hate seeing people vaping everywhere I go. I see it at concerts, in bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the gas station -- everywhere.
Basic manners. My gran must be affecting about 500 rpm in her grave, right about now.
Interrupting someone while they’re talking.
Maybe it’s just me bc it’s a huge pet peeve but I feel like I’m constantly being interrupted or people are always talking over one another. When I politely say, “excuse me, I was in the middle of talking” or “hold on a sec please so I can finish what I was saying” I get looked at like I have 3 heads or like I’m totally out of line when I say something about it.
Again maybe it’s just me, but imo interrupting people mid sentence and talking over others is now for some reason socially acceptable - by both adults and kids no matter the setting - and I don’t get it. Now I feel like the abnormal one for thinking that’s it’s rude or for feeling slightly offended when someone does it to me. Tbh I literally physically cringe when I’m there and witness it happening to someone else while they’re talking lol. It’s wild to me.
By the length of this post, I can tell YOU are the talker, and people only interrupt because you won't stop talking. I have a friend like this. The only way we have a conversation instead of her just talking at me the whole time, I HAVE to interrupt.
Sharing every aspect of yours and also your children's lives on social media.
I hate when my parents share photos of me online. I can’t imagine how someone feels when their parents post 20 times that.
Yaknow...... I wish people still dressed up *a little* more. I dine at some seriously nice restaurants and it's while overall I guess it's OK if someone decides to dine there in a t-shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops but I gotta say it sorta reduces my own experience, especially if we're celebrating a special occasion.
OK, I'll stop being grumpy now.
This is one I really don’t care about. You do you. As long as everyone is well behaved, my experience is unaffected.
Texting instead of sitting down and having an actual conversation especially about difficult topics.
On the flip side I have one child who struggles A LOT with expressing herself and talking about difficult or emotional subjects. Especially in person. So we text. It has probably saved her life.
Constantly doing stuff on your phone. The gym had to put up little signs on all the weight machines asking people to give others a turn instead of just sitting there on their phones – and the place is still full of people sitting on the machines glued to their phones. The effect when you walk into a room like that is eerie.
I’m much more of a phone addict than I’d like to be, but I’m trying to be more mindful and not just automatically reach for it every time there’s a lull, whether between sets or waiting for an elevator or whatever. Practicing my lost art of just looking around and thinking my thoughts and tolerating boredom.
Mine is that nobody is taught cursive anymore, and they surely can't read it! My fdil's little brother (19) couldn't sign his name for his driver's license and had to ask her to do it for him.
I was taught cursive but could never write it clearly. Gave it up in high school after a teacher insisted students write cursive, then gave me a 0 because she couldn’t read my handwriting. She called me an illiterate slob, so I later sent her a copy of my first novel signed (and printed) as such. Never received a thank you note. How rude…
Refusing to go one teenie tiny step outside your job description. If we all want to have a smooth work process sometimes you need to reach out to the other people involved in the process and work together to make things efficent.
Also, its no ones JOB to order more vacuum bags or sponges at work. If you see something that needs addressed for the good of the office, just f*****g do it.
This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.. lol.
Hey !! You forgot to mention the QR-code menu cards which are finding their way more and more often into (fastfood)restaurants. Give me one and i'm so fast out the door, you won't even know for sure I was there!
I love that I can look at the menu on my phone rather than a sticky old menu that hundreds of people before me have handled. I also am just fine with touch screen ordering, I can take my time to decide what I want rather than worry I'm wasting everyone's time being indecisive in a regular line.
Load More Replies...It’s not just Boomer perspective. I’m Gen X and agree with most of it. A lot of it is mostly about younger people having no self respect or respect for others. My three adult children were raised to have manners, show respect, consider others. I still have comments all the time from people about how well adjusted and polite they are, like it’s a rare thing these days.
Boomers whining about younger people are the worst sort of hypocrites, complaining about the very thing that boomers caused. You don't like young people's lack of scientific knowledge? Then WHY did you remove science education from schools and decide that beating curiosity out of kids was a "good thing"? You don't like young people's manners? Then WHY did boomers act so entitled and make the government act only in their own interests for 50 years? Nobody cares about you now because you NEVER cared about anyone but yourselves.
Most of the anti science spread online is by boomers as well.
Load More Replies...Most of this thread was just the end result of boomer behavior over the years. It's whining from people who f****d around and found out and don't like the consequences. Welcome to the world you helped make. The kids are all pissed because we get to spend the entire rest of our lives dealing with the consequences of older generations...
Who would've thought using and abusing whilst stripping your millenials kids of everything would back fire? "Respect is earned" - boomer saying. Ha.
Load More Replies...I was amazed at how many times I read one of these and it made me think of an orange man.
The orange clown has certainly encouraged people to be more open about how they are racist, homophobic, anti-immigration, misogynistic, blaming everyone else for their own shortcomings, and sadly the main stream media has helped him in this.
Load More Replies...I think that we as a society should absolutely respect and understand the perspective of older people. I also believe that about adults, children, and (as much as they are capable) animals. But respect and understanding isn't agreeing. If you believe respect equals agreement we have a problem.
Hey !! You forgot to mention the QR-code menu cards which are finding their way more and more often into (fastfood)restaurants. Give me one and i'm so fast out the door, you won't even know for sure I was there!
I love that I can look at the menu on my phone rather than a sticky old menu that hundreds of people before me have handled. I also am just fine with touch screen ordering, I can take my time to decide what I want rather than worry I'm wasting everyone's time being indecisive in a regular line.
Load More Replies...It’s not just Boomer perspective. I’m Gen X and agree with most of it. A lot of it is mostly about younger people having no self respect or respect for others. My three adult children were raised to have manners, show respect, consider others. I still have comments all the time from people about how well adjusted and polite they are, like it’s a rare thing these days.
Boomers whining about younger people are the worst sort of hypocrites, complaining about the very thing that boomers caused. You don't like young people's lack of scientific knowledge? Then WHY did you remove science education from schools and decide that beating curiosity out of kids was a "good thing"? You don't like young people's manners? Then WHY did boomers act so entitled and make the government act only in their own interests for 50 years? Nobody cares about you now because you NEVER cared about anyone but yourselves.
Most of the anti science spread online is by boomers as well.
Load More Replies...Most of this thread was just the end result of boomer behavior over the years. It's whining from people who f****d around and found out and don't like the consequences. Welcome to the world you helped make. The kids are all pissed because we get to spend the entire rest of our lives dealing with the consequences of older generations...
Who would've thought using and abusing whilst stripping your millenials kids of everything would back fire? "Respect is earned" - boomer saying. Ha.
Load More Replies...I was amazed at how many times I read one of these and it made me think of an orange man.
The orange clown has certainly encouraged people to be more open about how they are racist, homophobic, anti-immigration, misogynistic, blaming everyone else for their own shortcomings, and sadly the main stream media has helped him in this.
Load More Replies...I think that we as a society should absolutely respect and understand the perspective of older people. I also believe that about adults, children, and (as much as they are capable) animals. But respect and understanding isn't agreeing. If you believe respect equals agreement we have a problem.