There should be a button to scroll to the recipe. Like, no Brenda I don't care that you live in Texas and your mother-in-law is really kind and bakes cookies for your 7 children.

He speaks the truth

Spend the rest of the meeting imagining painful ways that speaker should meet his/her untimely demise

Happiness comes from animals, other than humans

Grandma is savage!

Not looking forward to that loop.

the child is also a unicorn

I especially love it when there is 182 lids and none of them are the correct one.

Thank you, advice giving random stranger

I would also be impressed by an ice cream truck, but that's it

Ummm zero? Because someone cloned my Sim card and has been happily using my Google ever since and Gmail didn't Say jack s**t

Turns out they didn’t fall apart because you left… the ship was sinking while you were on it.

That dastardly ice cream, always out to get you

There have to be boundaries, human. This is my ball of slobber.

My Daughter used to think Amazon was magic when she was 6. One time she wrote a letter to the mail carrier to "bring me more Amazon boxes PLEASE!" and another time filled the cart up and hit the purchase button. Thank God I didn't have $9,116.

Writing this down next time I’m offended. It depends on the humor, though. If it’s plain rude and meant to belittle someone or something, it shouldn’t be funny at all. The person who said it has issues and is NOT actually happy

You can have a laugh with someone or at someone, it's all in the delivery. Plus read the room before you open your mouth.

There's absolutely some merit to this. There's also studies showing trolls are more likely to have psychopathic tendencies so it's really great not to be offended by everything, but sometimes people who aren't offended by anything but take delight in posting offensive things are psychopaths.

British humour is extremely self deprecating. If you don’t laugh at yourself, you don’t know yourself. Cruel mockery is an entirely different animal.

Sometimes they're happy because they get a kick out of offending people.

Yes! People take things WAY too seriously these days! Like the post about the guy arriving 10 mins late to pick up his wife from the airport

I can definitely relate

I don't agree, but I do envy those that laugh a lot.

Brilliant. Shame more readers don't follow that advice.

OMG, I so LOVE this one!!!

Giving jack sh!t about everything that doesn’t involve myself is pure bliss

I think anything can be funny in the right context. Nuance matters a lot in comedy

Ppl still using the words RACE & RACISM is the real failure. Human is the ONLY race.

Lol me why I've been band a few times.

I'm really into "utilitarian Christmas" or birthdays...batteries, chargers, cable tags, moldable glue, super cleaning products. A shoebox of these are surprisingly a big hit. Not for kids though.

I’d be creeps out, because my mind went to cannibalism

The I don't give a damn phase

And then the subwoofers kick in.

Here’s something: a successful marriage ends with one partner watching the other die.

I've found these music lyrics relevant & you can insert any day that you want to: "Well I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damn depressed"

All I want is a few days where I don't have to do anything! Is that really too much to ask??

I clean my house to the music I currently get drunk to, same as I did in my 20s.

For real!

There's probably very few things you can think of doing that haven't already been done in Vegas

Actually, getting exercise increases stamina for more exercise for more stamina for more strength and stamina for more exercise and muscles and health and

I’m having my ups now and that’s the best thing happening to me

Making this my new status update

I am dreading adulthood. Please just let me go back to kindergarten