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Woman Shares What Happens To Praised ‘Smart Kids’ When They Grow Up, And It’s Hard To Argue
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Woman Shares What Happens To Praised ‘Smart Kids’ When They Grow Up, And It’s Hard To Argue

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Many of us deal with feelings of failure and inadequacy every now and then, after all, it’s part of the great struggle called life. However, those emotions often haunt those, who grew up constantly being called ‘smart’ and ‘talented’, when praise was handed out by parents, teachers and other influential figures in their lives, for being naturally good at something, not for working hard to achieve it. And that eventually gets a growing individual hooked on external validation as they slowly start to base their personality on it. Unfortunately, as one grows, the praise becomes less frequent, leading to feeling inadequate.

A couple of weeks ago, author Valerie Valdes brought up this issue in a Twitter thread, detailing the process and where it can lead an individual. “My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I, of course–and I wanted to help if I could” Valerie told Bored Panda. She also shared her thoughts on “tools” to deal with the problem. “When it comes to mental health, it’s hard to not only identify a problem in a way that resonates with people, but also to find methods for coping, and I tried to provide both” she said. Scroll down below to read the full thread and don’t forget to share your own thoughts in the comments!

More info: Twitter

Valerie Valdes is an author from Miami who started a thread discussing the issue of being called a “smart kid” growing up

“My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I” she told Bored Panda

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People were quick to share their own feelings

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Giedrė Vaičiulaitytė

Giedrė Vaičiulaitytė

Author, Community member

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As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats).

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Giedrė Vaičiulaitytė

Giedrė Vaičiulaitytė

Author, Community member

As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats).

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Caroline
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was also one of the "smart" kids, getting high grades, praised by teachers, expected to achieve so much later in life. Yet I never had a job I liked/wanted, my bank account hovers precariously low and I hang towards the bottom of the social ladder. I do feel like a failure. I did not fail my whole life as I have found the love of my life and we have amazing kids, but as a person, I crashed and burned instead of rising high. The praise in my youth only increased the stress of meeting others' expectations and crushed my self confidence.

r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"a Twitter thread" Why is it always a "a Twitter thread" and never a facebook or reddit post? The character limit on twitter is ridiculous. If you must use twitter at least write the whole thing out in pastebin and then just post the link.

Parmeisan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ohhh, there are going to be dozens of comments about how she's doing this for attention. I think very few people who go viral were actually seeking that level of attention, they are just talking things out with their social circle. Even if she was hoping this would reach the wider world, her goal was probably just to start a conversation and help other people to feel not alone.

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Caroline
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was also one of the "smart" kids, getting high grades, praised by teachers, expected to achieve so much later in life. Yet I never had a job I liked/wanted, my bank account hovers precariously low and I hang towards the bottom of the social ladder. I do feel like a failure. I did not fail my whole life as I have found the love of my life and we have amazing kids, but as a person, I crashed and burned instead of rising high. The praise in my youth only increased the stress of meeting others' expectations and crushed my self confidence.

r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"a Twitter thread" Why is it always a "a Twitter thread" and never a facebook or reddit post? The character limit on twitter is ridiculous. If you must use twitter at least write the whole thing out in pastebin and then just post the link.

Parmeisan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ohhh, there are going to be dozens of comments about how she's doing this for attention. I think very few people who go viral were actually seeking that level of attention, they are just talking things out with their social circle. Even if she was hoping this would reach the wider world, her goal was probably just to start a conversation and help other people to feel not alone.

Load More Comments
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