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25 Y.O. Keeps Blaming “Pretty Privilege” For Sister’s Success, Gets A Reality Check
Not everyone invests a lot of money and time into taking care of their appearance. And that’s completely OK – everyone should do what they think is best for them. It becomes a problem when they make that someone else’s problem instead of theirs.
Like this woman, who always bugged her sister because she looked good. And when one day she lost it and told her off, family drama ensued.
More info: Reddit
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Is it wrong to tell people that they should care about their appearance instead of yours?
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
The woman’s sister keeps insinuating that she gets everything in her life just because she’s beautiful
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Jolly_Reference_7279
The woman says it’s not her fault that her sister doesn’t take care of her appearance, causing a rift in the family
A 25-year-old woman, whom the OP called Tessa, always kept saying that her sister has pretty privilege, while she doesn’t. And it would happen any time the sisters would see each other. So, the sister, the OP, just assumed that she was jealous.
And she assumed jealousy, because, well, Tessa doesn’t really care about her appearance, while the OP always makes sure to do her skincare, and her hair, and dress up nicely.
So, one day the OP was telling the story of how she passed a test to get a license for her job. And Tessa interrupted her by implying that she passed due to pretty privilege.
This made the OP lose it. She told Tessa to stop insinuating this thing over and over again, and added that it’s not her fault that Tessa is ugly. This event caused drama in their family because apparently everyone was split on who to support.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
But what if the “ugly” sister is kind of right? What if the OP did get some chances in life just because she is beautiful? After all, pretty privilege is a real thing.
Pretty privilege refers to the phenomenon of conventionally attractive people having more advantages and opportunities than those who are designated as less conventionally attractive. Or it could mean a phenomenon of people associating beauty with talent, intelligence, health, and all the other good things.
Experts say that people think that way due to our biology and psychology. For example, a symmetrical face, which is considered conventionally attractive, can be associated with strong genes. And evolutionarily, people tend to sway towards attributes that suggest strong genes for the survival of the species.
In other words, something about a symmetrical face, which happens to fit into what society thinks is a good-looking face, may indicate strong and healthy genes. So it makes sense for evolution to push people to want more of these genes, if only for the survival of the species.
When a person sees a good trait in a person, then they tend to associate a bunch of other good traits with them. And usually, it’s related to physical beauty. This phenomenon is something psychologists call the “Halo Effect.”
While we cannot be sure if it was actually pretty privilege that helped the OP to achieve what she wanted or just her hard work, we can be sure what the commentators thought. And they were divided. Some certainly said that Tessa seemed like an insufferable person and so the OP was not the jerk.
Others were of a slightly different opinion – they stated that both sisters were wrong here. There were some who even added that both of them sound like middle-schoolers. So, let’s say if the OP came to Reddit for reassurance that she wasn’t wrong, it’s quite likely that she did get it.
Folks online left the OP without a definitive answer – some said that she’s not a jerk, while others called both sisters jerks
What do you think ?
Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago
why does this whole thing just read as someone bragging about themselves?
GirlFriday 1 year ago
I went through this with my cousin. I work a professional job, in an office a few days a week, and often when she would want to meet for dinner it was after an in-office day so I was dressed up, hair and make up done. I would be met with petty comments about how I am trying to impress people, hoping I would get a free meal, drinks, etc. I couldn't take it any longer, I won't ugly myself up so she feels better about herself. I just stopped meeting her for dinners.
DarkViolet 1 year ago
For the first time since joining Bored Panda, I am going to rule this ESH. Tessa is probably jealous to the point of feeling the need to tear her sister down (called "leveling"). But wow, OP REALLY overstepped when she called Tessa ugly. That was uncalled for, and downright cruel. After she's calmed down, she should apologize to Tessa for that hurtful comment, but explain to her that attributing all of her accomplishments to "pretty privilege" makes her sound bitter and petty, and everyone else has noticed. Tessa has the options of either continuing to badmouth OP, or working on improving herself. OP should not make any more suggestions unless requested. Tessa should realize that her off-putting demeanor can cost her dearly in the long run. If she ever needs a place to stay until she gets a place of her own or needs to borrow money, her sources could be extremely limited, something she should consider.
dremetrius 1 year ago
Literally all she did was reinforce her sister's view that 'pretty' matters, thereby insulting them both! I quit reading at that point, I just can't.
Load More Replies... Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago
why does this whole thing just read as someone bragging about themselves?
GirlFriday 1 year ago
I went through this with my cousin. I work a professional job, in an office a few days a week, and often when she would want to meet for dinner it was after an in-office day so I was dressed up, hair and make up done. I would be met with petty comments about how I am trying to impress people, hoping I would get a free meal, drinks, etc. I couldn't take it any longer, I won't ugly myself up so she feels better about herself. I just stopped meeting her for dinners.
DarkViolet 1 year ago
For the first time since joining Bored Panda, I am going to rule this ESH. Tessa is probably jealous to the point of feeling the need to tear her sister down (called "leveling"). But wow, OP REALLY overstepped when she called Tessa ugly. That was uncalled for, and downright cruel. After she's calmed down, she should apologize to Tessa for that hurtful comment, but explain to her that attributing all of her accomplishments to "pretty privilege" makes her sound bitter and petty, and everyone else has noticed. Tessa has the options of either continuing to badmouth OP, or working on improving herself. OP should not make any more suggestions unless requested. Tessa should realize that her off-putting demeanor can cost her dearly in the long run. If she ever needs a place to stay until she gets a place of her own or needs to borrow money, her sources could be extremely limited, something she should consider.
dremetrius 1 year ago
Literally all she did was reinforce her sister's view that 'pretty' matters, thereby insulting them both! I quit reading at that point, I just can't.
Load More Replies...
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