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59
Lady Livid Over Sis Tossing Daughter’s Expensive Bra And Refusing To Pay Her Back, Kicks Her Out
![“[Am I The Jerk] For Making My Sister Pay Me Back For Throwing Out My Daughter’s Bra?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/sister-pay-back-throwing-out-daughters-bra-fb54-png__700.jpg)
In any family drama, especially when children are involved as one of the parties, there is always some uncertainty. Especially when the kids are quite small and do something naughty – for which the parents then have to pay.
For example, as in the situation described by the user u/TheaterMomTroubles24, whose sister and children unwittingly (or deliberately – we will probably never know) destroyed and threw out hosts’ valuable property while visiting. As for who is right and who is wrong here – we will judge after we get to know the whole story.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post recently decided to house her sis and nephews whose house got damaged by a hurricane
Image credits: Kristen Plastique / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The kids are 8 and 6 years old and quite naughty, so the author introduced some simple rules for them – but to no avail
Image credits: TheaterMomTroubles24
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The boys got into the author’s daughter’s room and took out her special and pretty costly compression bra to play with
Image credits: TheaterMomTroubles24
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The boys’ mom, according to herself, took the bra from them and then just threw it out
Image credits: TheaterMomTroubles24
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author was incredibly upset and demanded her sister pay her back, but she refused since it cost $50 and ‘boys will be boys’
Image credits: TheaterMomTroubles24
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Real family drama ensued, and now the sister and her kids are looking for a new place to live
Image credits: TheaterMomTroubles24
The author’s own mom took her sister’s side, but the woman decided to seek some support online
So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that she has a sister whose house was seriously damaged as a result of Hurricane Helene, and our heroine invited the sister’s family to stay with her for a while. So it turned out that the OP, along with her husband and children, her sister and her two sons, 8 and 6 years old, ended up under one roof.
In order to maintain at least some semblance of order in the house, the author offered her nephews a few simple rules of conduct when living there, one of which was not to go into her eldest daughter’s room. And recently, the boys broke this rule…
The original poster’s daughter Thea has been involved in theater since childhood, and among her accessories was a special compression bra, necessary if, according to the plot of the play, she suddenly has to play the role of a boy. The bra is quite expensive – $50, which is why our heroine was so indignant when she found out that the sis, having taken it from the naughty kids, simply threw it out.
The original poster was outraged and demanded that her sister reimburse her for the cost of the bra, but the woman said that she’s already short on money. And besides, “boys will be boys.” Word for word – and a quarrel broke out, and now the sister and her sons are looking for a new place to live, and our heroine is quite sure that she’s 100% right here.
The women’s mom took the side of the little grandsons and their mother, arguing that it’s unfair to demand that people who have already lost a significant part of their property also pay for the cost of a bra.
Anticipating possible comments of “let the old lady take in her daughter and grandkids,” the OP notes that their mother herself lives in a retirement community that doesn’t allow anyone under the age of 65, under strict threat of eviction. And the author simply wants to enlist the support of netizens in this situation.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“It’s a difficult situation, to be honest. On the one hand, it’s true that kids can often be completely unruly at this age, and it is not very proper to demand compensation from a person whose house was recently destroyed by a hurricane,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “On the other hand, there is an immutable thesis: ‘my house, my rules’…”
“What confuses me about this situation is that it was the boys’ mother who threw out the bra – that is, in fact, the issue is not at all in ‘boys being boys,’ as she tried to present it. Something in this story seems to me… how to put it more precisely, well, far-fetched.”
“In any case, you should show respect to the hosts of the house when you are visiting – and the fact that they are your closest relatives doesn’t cancel the need to respect them and their property. Yes, paying $50 literally out of the blue is not the best option, but it’s better to pay to stay on good terms,” Irina summarizes.
It must be said that people in the comments to the original post were even more critical of the author’s sister and her kids. “She is admitting she threw it away because she didn’t approve. I would guess your sister leapt to some transphobic ideas about why your daughter had a bra like that and made a judgemental decision,” one of the responders wrote. “No matter the reason – Thea paid for it herself and deserves compensation.”
And other commenters even went further, urging the author to take more decisive action. “Kick her out tonight. She’ll never respect you. Oh, and be prepared to call the cops, because she might just claim squatters’ rights,” another netizen claimed. And whose side in this conflict are you, our dear readers, inclined to take?
Most of the commenters, however, supported our heroine, and some folks even urged her to kick her sister and nephews out as soon as possible
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What do you think ?
TruthoftheHeart 2 months ago
She threw away something that was not hers and then had the audacity to make a comment about it not being appropriate for the little girl to wear something like that?! It's theater clothes, sorry that she's such a backwards sexist viewed imbecile that she can't understand.. make her pay it back then make her sit the boys down and explain what it is and what they did wrong.
Ben Aziza 2 months ago (edited)
Ehh cant replace your failure as a parent with sexist bs like that. It is a lazy excuse. It also sets a bad precedent for the boys as they grow up. Single parent or poor or homeless has nothing to do enabling bad behavior of your children...
Ms. Mack 2 months ago
Single mom of a boy (now a man) here and I cannot tell you how much "boys will be boys" pissed me off! It implies human males are incapable of being respectful, considerate and mindful. I always figured being a single parent meant I had to work that much harder to raise my son to be a good human. Happy to say he has turned out to be one!
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
8 and 9 are obviously old enough to leave others' belongings alone and not to destroy things. It is concerning they went for their cousin's underwear. I assume that's the real reason their mom threw it away. She didn't want to figure out why her son's were being pervy, or help them back to healthy choices, so she got rid of the evidence and hoped she could ignore it. It's extra concerning the destruction and aggression towards their hosts's things has a sexual component. Especially since they've just been through some manner of ordeal, it's not conclusive, but it's with making sure there's no history of sexual abuse. Young sons of a single mother are often targeted. There may be other reasons for the anger and aggression, which are worth investigating too, but now that they are out of the previous situation, make sure it was safe.
Bookworm 2 months ago (edited)
That may have been part of it, but I think the comments section is right, too - 'not appropriate for her to have "something like that"' is 100% transphobia. Especially combined with 'she thought it was another kind of breast binder and threw it away.' That phrasing makes it sound like she admitted at some point she took it and destroyed it specifically because she thought it was the kind of binder a trans person would use. That's more than disrespect for the girl's belongings and bad parenting - that's actively malicious. If Thea had actually been a trans boy, that would have been an incredibly hurtful thing for the sister to do to a child, and the intention is no less vicious because she misunderstood what the binder was for. Edit to add: OP said the sister changed and 'became unbearable' after having her sons. If I were OP, I might start poking around and asking questions about who her sister may have become involved with - the scary side of politics? An ultra conservative religious group? Depending on who it is and what variety of crazy they're telling her... OP may need to limit her sister's contact with Thea. Even if Thea is cisgender, interacting with her aunt could become anything from uncomfortable to dangerous if the sister is still convinced she's trans because of the bra.
Load More Replies... TruthoftheHeart 2 months ago
She threw away something that was not hers and then had the audacity to make a comment about it not being appropriate for the little girl to wear something like that?! It's theater clothes, sorry that she's such a backwards sexist viewed imbecile that she can't understand.. make her pay it back then make her sit the boys down and explain what it is and what they did wrong.
Ben Aziza 2 months ago (edited)
Ehh cant replace your failure as a parent with sexist bs like that. It is a lazy excuse. It also sets a bad precedent for the boys as they grow up. Single parent or poor or homeless has nothing to do enabling bad behavior of your children...
Ms. Mack 2 months ago
Single mom of a boy (now a man) here and I cannot tell you how much "boys will be boys" pissed me off! It implies human males are incapable of being respectful, considerate and mindful. I always figured being a single parent meant I had to work that much harder to raise my son to be a good human. Happy to say he has turned out to be one!
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
8 and 9 are obviously old enough to leave others' belongings alone and not to destroy things. It is concerning they went for their cousin's underwear. I assume that's the real reason their mom threw it away. She didn't want to figure out why her son's were being pervy, or help them back to healthy choices, so she got rid of the evidence and hoped she could ignore it. It's extra concerning the destruction and aggression towards their hosts's things has a sexual component. Especially since they've just been through some manner of ordeal, it's not conclusive, but it's with making sure there's no history of sexual abuse. Young sons of a single mother are often targeted. There may be other reasons for the anger and aggression, which are worth investigating too, but now that they are out of the previous situation, make sure it was safe.
Bookworm 2 months ago (edited)
That may have been part of it, but I think the comments section is right, too - 'not appropriate for her to have "something like that"' is 100% transphobia. Especially combined with 'she thought it was another kind of breast binder and threw it away.' That phrasing makes it sound like she admitted at some point she took it and destroyed it specifically because she thought it was the kind of binder a trans person would use. That's more than disrespect for the girl's belongings and bad parenting - that's actively malicious. If Thea had actually been a trans boy, that would have been an incredibly hurtful thing for the sister to do to a child, and the intention is no less vicious because she misunderstood what the binder was for. Edit to add: OP said the sister changed and 'became unbearable' after having her sons. If I were OP, I might start poking around and asking questions about who her sister may have become involved with - the scary side of politics? An ultra conservative religious group? Depending on who it is and what variety of crazy they're telling her... OP may need to limit her sister's contact with Thea. Even if Thea is cisgender, interacting with her aunt could become anything from uncomfortable to dangerous if the sister is still convinced she's trans because of the bra.
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