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Woman Struggles With Her Kids, Repeatedly Begs Pregnant Sis For Help, She Reaches Her Limit
Sometimes, life has a way of making you feel like you’re the lead actor in a weird sitcom where every episode features a new drama from a recurring character. You’re knee-deep in your own chaos, when your sister’s drama hijacks your peaceful existence like a tornado in a teacup. If you have siblings, you get it.
Well, one Reddit user, (let’s call her Alice’s sister, for the sake of storytelling), sure knows what we’re talking about. Her drama-loving sis was constantly blowing up her phone with some sort of parenting crisis only our protagonist could solve, apparently.
More info: Reddit
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Pregnant mom forced to fix all her sister’s parenting crises, while trying to deal with her own pregnancy and 3-year-old son
Image credits: Vitolda Klein (not the actual photo)
The woman is constantly bombarded with requests from her sister, asking her to discipline her kids as she can’t handle them by herself
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The sister even calls the mom from vacation, asking her to talk to her niece to fix some drama, but never asks how the mom or her family are doing
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
“I don’t have time, no one cares about me”: the sister has a meltdown when the mom recommends she go to therapy for herself
Image credit: u/ImpressiveMethod7923
The mom-to-be reaches her breaking point and starts avoiding her sister’s calls, as she only reaches out when she needs her help
Alice (not her real name), a 34-year-old mom-to-be expecting her second child, was 33 weeks pregnant when she spilled the beans. Her 44-year-old sister had been hitting her up with calls for months, usually right in the middle of some sort of fight with her kids.
But Alice wasn’t lounging on the couch all day, waiting for the phone to ring so she could rescue her sister. She had her hands full herself, juggling a very active 3-year-old and prepping for a new baby. Her first pregnancy had been traumatic for the mom-to-be, so her sister’s non-stop self-centeredness was becoming too much for Alice to handle.
Every time sis called, it was all about her. She never asked how Alice was doing, how her pregnancy was going, or how her son and husband were holding up. “It’s always to complain about her work/family and ask for advice,” Alice recalls. And the latest call? Her sis rang her up from vacation, begging Alice to sort out issues with her daughter. Imagine our leading lady, trying to deal with her own kid, politely declining, only for her sister to suggest calling back later for the same drama.
To handle the chaos, Alice came up with a plan: she would dodge the calls during the “crisis” and call back later when things had cooled off. That way, she got the highlights instead of starring in the live drama. But Alice knew this band-aid wouldn’t hold forever but she was dreading confronting her sister. It felt like a one-way ticket to Disaster Town, especially since past attempts to suggest therapy or permanent fixes had ended in meltdowns and rants about her sister’s struggles as a “married single mom” getting no support from her husband.
And here’s where it got messier: her sister’s daughter had therapy briefly, at Alice’s recommendation, for sensory issues related to clothing textures, making activities like getting dressed a nightmare. The therapy seemed to help, but sis stopped the sessions once things seemed under control. Predictably, the issues resurfaced, leading to yet another frantic call to Alice: “Can you talk to her?”
Alice knew she was reaching her limit and she would eventually snap at her sis one day. So, she set firm boundaries for an upcoming visit from sis and kids, determined not to repeat the experience of playing hostess while heavily pregnant and dealing with her first child. “I’ve put in place boundaries and expectations, like she can’t come immediately, has to wait a month, and when they come they have to stay in a hotel and rent a car,” Alice recalls.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
When family members constantly turn to you for support, setting boundaries is essential for your sanity. For Alice, establishing clear limits on when and how she could help out her sis is crucial. Experts recommend prioritizing our own needs and having open, honest communication to express those needs without feeling guilty for it.
“Relationships with family members are often ones that people value the most. Having boundaries in place to enable a healthy familial relationship is vital to your overall mental and emotional well-being. Talking about your issues and expressing your wishes are excellent first steps in setting healthy boundaries. Carve out a time to sit down and have an open conversation. Sometimes, difficult family members have a different view of their behaviors and actions and may be unaware of their impact,” experts explained.
Regardless of what those needs are, whether it’s to eat, sleep, or you just need some alone time, you should prioritize yourself. After all, before you can take care of others, you first need to care for yourself.
Alice turned to Reddit for advice and, as always, the community came through. One user suggested a blunt approach: “I would tell her, ‘Stop calling me to parent your kids. I have my own kids to parent.’” Another described the sister as a “self-made martyr” who created problems and then expected others to solve them.
Other netizens suggested subtler tactics, like unloading her own stress onto her sister by calling her to vent about her day without letting her get a word in. “Try this a few times, and she’ll get the hint,” they proposed. Honestly, not a bad idea.
The support from the Reddit community gave Alice hope that she could find a balance between being there for her sister and taking care of herself and her growing family, as she prepared for her new baby.
For Alice, dealing with her sister’s constant parenting crises added an extra layer of stress to her already challenging pregnancy. As experts recommend, prioritizing self-care and seeking support are crucial during pregnancy. Simple strategies like deep breathing exercises, regular physical activity, or connecting with friends could make a world of difference.
“Having the right kind and amount of support when you need it is an important factor for pregnancy and postpartum health. If there were ever a time to ask for and accept help from friends and family, it is during your pregnancy and in the early days after the baby is born,” experts explain. Remember, it is okay to say no to family demands and focus on your well-being and the baby’s health first. After all, a happy mom equals a happy baby!
What’s your take on this family drama? Ever found yourself in a similar situation? Share your sibling stories in the comments!
People in the comments urge the mom-to-be to take care of herself and set some clear boundaries with her self-centered sister
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What do you think ?
Traveling Lady Railfan 5 months ago
"Hi" to all the other psych majors out there who have done *jack* (professionally) with their diploma! (Hugs)
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
When you're a naturally compassionate person and also a people pleaser, it can be very, very easy to end up becoming someone's unpaid therapist, and that can become *incredibly* draining. You can't keep putting yourself last; you have needs too, as do your children, and the sister is being completely unreasonable and selfish.
Insomniac 5 months ago
It is never okay to expect a friend or family member to be your social worker. Professionals exist for a reason. OP's mental health will decline, followed by her physical health, if she keeps this up. Sis needs a serious reality check. And that "nobody loves me" garbage is pure manipulation to keep control over people.
Traveling Lady Railfan 5 months ago
"Hi" to all the other psych majors out there who have done *jack* (professionally) with their diploma! (Hugs)
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
When you're a naturally compassionate person and also a people pleaser, it can be very, very easy to end up becoming someone's unpaid therapist, and that can become *incredibly* draining. You can't keep putting yourself last; you have needs too, as do your children, and the sister is being completely unreasonable and selfish.
Insomniac 5 months ago
It is never okay to expect a friend or family member to be your social worker. Professionals exist for a reason. OP's mental health will decline, followed by her physical health, if she keeps this up. Sis needs a serious reality check. And that "nobody loves me" garbage is pure manipulation to keep control over people.
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