Everyone knows that the best parents are the one that don't have kids yet. lol

Omg my brother and SIL were the worst! Before they had kids it was 'our house will be spotless' 'our kids will be geniuses' 'our kids won't have any screen time' .. you can guess what it's like now .. lol

This is why I'm child free. It's because I know being a mom is WAY harder than being an auntie and that conclusion isn't even based on first hand experience! Sure, I've babysat my niece tons of times, but that's nothing compared to having to be there for her 24/7. OP's sister is definitely the AH. And she needs to get over her breakup. I was with my ex for 8 years and thought we would 100% get married, but he broke up with me instead. So I know how she feels. She needs to STFU about parenting and work on getting over her breakup. Stop projecting.

Forcing kids to eat things they don't like is not okay. It can lead to them having unhealthy relationships with food. It can also backfire: when I was six, my dad forced me to drink buttermilk, after I'd told him I didn't like it. Welp. That buttermilk projectiled horizontally out of my body as soon as I put the cup down. Never had to drink it again.

Just wanted to say that OP's sister is CHILDLESS, not CHILDFREE. As a childfree woman, I would never dream of giving any parent advice about parenting. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

The sister has a rich and fulfilling fantasy life, so why bother getting married or having kids?

LOL, before you're a parent you have all these grand notions of how you'll raise your kids and how your methods will make them perfect, well-behave human beings. Then, SURPRISE, your kid(s) have a mind of their own and your parenting methods require an overhaul. And what does the sister expect OP to do, force feed the kid or punish them for not eating? That's going to make for a happy healthy kid and a happy healthy relationship with the parents (sarcasm)

Parents of imaginary children are terrible. Your imagination cherry-picks what it wants to deal with, so of corse you imagine your children as perfect little angels

I am childless because I know how hard it is to have children and if I were you, I would snap at her way earlier and I think, 73% more rude.

My imaginary kid's been in and out of juvie so many times that people think he works there.

“My future child would never do that.” “You know what else your future child doesn’t do? Breathe. You want me to make my kid stop doing that too?”

Why would anyone put highly visible scallions in a 4 year old's egg and expect them to eat it? Not very realistic.

I agree with that one commenter on the original post telling OP to test his son for ASD. I was the exact same way and I'm autistic.

Those who don't have kids should just keep their mouths shut. Honestly looking after a child is a bit like trying to juggle with grenades. You never know what's going to go off next. One day a child will eat everything and love, next day the only thing will be fish fingers. Dress nicely by themselves next day your threatening to send them to school in the pjs if they don't put on school clothes. And the only way anyone is going to know what it's like is have your own, and see then how well all these brilliant parenting ideas work... as good as they sound, just there isn't enough energy and time to implement them well consistently to become habit

Hang in there bro, just reading how you are dealing with the situation though extremely toxic for both you and your sister; more of a burden on you, but yet you seem to be handling very well mentally. When you become an adult you will self reliant, know whY your boundaries are and most importantly be assertive. It takes huge balls of steel to confront your parents and stand up for your beliefs even though you felt bad afterward because the got mad. Just shows how well you are developing emotionally. I 100% agree with how you feel and how you view your sister just learn to forgive her because; sure she comes first in your parents eyes (which is extremely f***Ed up) but thus was he she is being raised and if she is as intelligent as you she will eventually understand why you view your home as an opposition. Best of luck to you and happy late birthday hope you got to enjoy it with your friends. Take care.

NTA She should either help out or leave. He was absolutely in the right to say what he did. His mother should stay out of it or actually support her son since she knows what parenting is really like. That sister has a lot to learn.

2 things: 1) nta. 2) consider having the little one tested for high functioning autism. It's probably just a kid being a kid, but some of the things mentioned in the story COULD be high-functioning autism. I have hypersensitivity to light, sound and touch, meaning I don't like bright environments, I don't like noisy environments, I don't crowds. While I'm not particular at all about fashion, I am kind of particular about my clothes being loose, not restricting, confining or tight, and not being made in a way that catches my attention (like really itchy tags). I have faulty perception filters so certain things, like repetitive sounds, or physical distraction can't be simply filtered out, and can become annoyances. These symptoms become worse when I'm under stress, and then the symptoms cause stress, and it gets to be cyclic. The earlier ASD is diagnosed, the earlier the individual can learn to accept it and compensate.

… No; no I think the mother might have confused the concepts of “help” and “patronizing beyond words, from absolutely no position”. She may want to sort that out, it’s a pretty damaging mix up.

NTA. I am 60. I still avoid the same foods I hated when I started eating.

Childless women can parent better than parents. I do. My cousin gave up her son bc she wanted to get drunk and high forever. Guarantee I’m a better mother to nothing than she was to someone. So tired of people condescending to childless people as if they were never a child once and have no idea what a child needs. F all the way off.

My sister was like that. She trained in childcare and would always go off about the behaviour of our oldest. I thought "just you wait lady". It turned out that our son reacted to certain foods, but also as an adult has been diagnosed with ADHD. HIS son has autism and 95% of the time you wouldn't know but that other 5%. Her son was so awful that my kids called him the hellchild. My sister was at the school once a week for something or other. It turned out he was extremely clever and bored. When he was 15 he suddenly switched around, decided he wanted to be a doctor and went all out to be the best. Now 32 he is well on his way to achieving that.

I am child-free and I keep my mouth shut about my parenting opinions.

Wondering if the OP ever has his sister babysitting his kids? He should obviously do that on a regular basis if she thinks she knows better. I would just keep saying 'well can you look after him on the weekend while we go away then? Give me some tips on what you did better than me when you have finished parenting him for two days?

I hope he shows her and his mother all these responses. Idiots, both of them.

If there's even a TINY piece of kindness in the genetic makeup of the universe, it will be spent making sure sis up there doesn't ever have kids. A future entitled Karent in the making.

NTA: get the kid tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder.