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7YO Falsely Accuses Relative Of Neglecting Him While Babysitting, They Refuse To Help Anymore
It’s usually easy to dismiss an untrue statement from a child and attribute it to them “being a kid.” However, there is a thin line between telling a “harmless white lie” and spreading misinformation that can damage a person.
The author of this story experienced this when their young nephew spread lies about them to get out of trouble. However, the mother sided with her child and made excuses to condone his behavior.
The upsetting situation made the author no longer want to babysit their sister’s children, which worsened things. Wanting clarity, they are now asking the AITA subreddit if they did anything wrong.
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Some parents tend to condone their children’s dishonesty
Image credits: Luke Pennystan/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author of this story nearly got in trouble with the police after their young nephew spread lies about them
Image credits: Liza Summer/Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, the child’s mother dismissed it as typical mischievous behavior
Some children lie to get the focus off themselves
Image credits: Kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The nephew’s actions may be typical for a seven-year-old. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew Rouse, some kids may do it to deflect the focus that an adult puts on them. In this story’s case, it’s the potential trouble he was in for disobeying an adult.
In a conversation with the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Rouse says it’s a way for a child to downplay the issue or see what happens if they twist the truth.
“They’ll wonder, what happens if I lie about this situation? What will it do for me? What does it get me out of? What does it get me?” Dr. Rouse explained.
Dr. Rouse introduced three levels of lying, depending on the severity. A “Level 1 lie” is more about seeking attention, while a “Level 2 lie” is more elaborate and more popularly known as a “tall tale.” A “Level 3 lie” is when a child says something untrue to get out of trouble, as the nephew did.
At this age, the child also begins to realize the intention of telling a lie. As developmental psychology educator Dr. Victoria Talwar explains, this is when they are first introduced to deception.
“They’re intending to make a false statement, to make someone else believe something that’s not true,” Dr. Talwar stated in an interview with the American Psychological Association, adding that kids begin to carry this mindset as they grow older.
Parents must educate their children about the consequences of lying
Image credits: Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Dr. Rouse and Dr. Talwar agree that parents should make their children realize the consequences of lying.
In the case of a Level 3 lie, Dr. Rouse urges that the consequences be “short-lived, not overblown.” The goal is not to discourage the child from doing better next time.
At the same time, a child must also feel that telling the truth reduces the severity of the consequences. As Dr. Rouse explains, parents must strike the “hard balance” between having an open dialogue and setting the appropriate limits.
For Dr. Talwar, it is necessary to drive the point home. She believes that actively teaching a child about honesty is to stress its importance. Parents should also start at a young age by reading stories to make the concept more understandable.
“Just thinking that they’ll pick it up by osmosis is not the way to go,” she said.
What parents shouldn’t do is condone dishonesty, as the child can carry it through adulthood. It was wrong for the mother to dismiss her son’s behavior the way she did, and it would’ve been much worse if she did not impose consequences.
The author’s apprehensions are understandable. They had good reason to refuse to babysit, especially since their nephew almost got them in trouble.
What do you think, readers? Was the author out of line for refusing to babysit in the future?
The author answered some reader questions to provide more information
Most commenters saw no wrong in the author’s decision to distance themselves from the children
But some people saw it differently, accusing the author of “being petty”
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What do you think ?
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 months ago (edited)
Once again, YTA fuggnuts, I hope some kid severely cries wolf on you for your ignorance in this case. Assuming this is the US, this level of lies could end up being escalated to the point that authorities get involved. Little white lies can't be avoided but these are severe allegations. What if there weren't any cameras involved? And even with the cameras, OP's nutso sister refused to check and acknowledge the issue. OP is right to refuse babysitting duties for the little demon and ought to tell her nutso sister to start disciplining the kid before things get worse. As for OP's dumb-doo mother, maybe she ought to babysit seeing as she fails to see the consequences of crying wolf. May she find out the hard way too. People, SMH!!!
Mumma Cass 2 months ago
Oh my gosh! I was going to write 'I was looking out for the YTA' group. I totally agree with what your wrote :)
Load More Replies...
greenideas 2 months ago
That's hella manipulative for a 7-year-old and in my opinion, is much more serious than a little lie. People never want to blame the children, but mental illness doesn't discriminate due to age, little kids can be psychopaths as well. A possible arrest could impact this woman's career opportunities and so much more. I would never be alone with someone who threatened my security like that again. Sister better find another babysitter.
lenka 2 months ago (edited)
This was my thought too. Yes, 7 year olds lie, it's a natural part of learning boundaries and consequences.... but ordinarily they lie about taking the cookie or brushing their teeth. They do NOT lie and manipulate about neglect and strange men in the house. Something else is going on here. I would also not be babysitting this child.
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Corvus 2 months ago (edited)
For me, the main problem is that the mother didn't verify the kid's story... especially since she had an easy and convenient way to do so, by checking the cameras. It is perfectly normal to take your kid's side, but it is also normal to not accept serious accusations (especially about close people) as 100% true, without proper evidence. And yes, kids lie... saying this from personal experience (as a kid, I got in trouble because other kids from the 'hood accused me of stuff I didn't do).
Ash 2 months ago
Exactly. I would stop babysitting immediately for ANYBODY who threatened to call the police on me. OP is simply taking reasonable steps to protect themselves.
Load More Replies...
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 months ago (edited)
Once again, YTA fuggnuts, I hope some kid severely cries wolf on you for your ignorance in this case. Assuming this is the US, this level of lies could end up being escalated to the point that authorities get involved. Little white lies can't be avoided but these are severe allegations. What if there weren't any cameras involved? And even with the cameras, OP's nutso sister refused to check and acknowledge the issue. OP is right to refuse babysitting duties for the little demon and ought to tell her nutso sister to start disciplining the kid before things get worse. As for OP's dumb-doo mother, maybe she ought to babysit seeing as she fails to see the consequences of crying wolf. May she find out the hard way too. People, SMH!!!
Mumma Cass 2 months ago
Oh my gosh! I was going to write 'I was looking out for the YTA' group. I totally agree with what your wrote :)
Load More Replies... greenideas 2 months ago
That's hella manipulative for a 7-year-old and in my opinion, is much more serious than a little lie. People never want to blame the children, but mental illness doesn't discriminate due to age, little kids can be psychopaths as well. A possible arrest could impact this woman's career opportunities and so much more. I would never be alone with someone who threatened my security like that again. Sister better find another babysitter.
lenka 2 months ago (edited)
This was my thought too. Yes, 7 year olds lie, it's a natural part of learning boundaries and consequences.... but ordinarily they lie about taking the cookie or brushing their teeth. They do NOT lie and manipulate about neglect and strange men in the house. Something else is going on here. I would also not be babysitting this child.
Load More Replies... Corvus 2 months ago (edited)
For me, the main problem is that the mother didn't verify the kid's story... especially since she had an easy and convenient way to do so, by checking the cameras. It is perfectly normal to take your kid's side, but it is also normal to not accept serious accusations (especially about close people) as 100% true, without proper evidence. And yes, kids lie... saying this from personal experience (as a kid, I got in trouble because other kids from the 'hood accused me of stuff I didn't do).
Ash 2 months ago
Exactly. I would stop babysitting immediately for ANYBODY who threatened to call the police on me. OP is simply taking reasonable steps to protect themselves.
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